Date: 1-6-2014

Due Date: 1-6-2015

Resolution: Experiment with detoxing and cleansing. I plan to find an interesting cleanse or detox regiment to stick to and do this four times, 1 for each quarter of the year. the first will be a one day challenge the second a weekend challenge. the third a week-long challenge and finish the year off with a one month challenge.

Note: I think I may have made a mistake when posting this resolution on Facebook. Right away people were either Gung-Ho into this idea or right there to tell me how much these cleanses and detoxes are bullshit and unhealthy. Rather than let the discussion go, I jumped in to remind people that I have no plans on doing this for any other benefit other than to be able to check it off from my list of things to do. Feel free to comment whatever you want for those who are interested, but either way… I'm going to go through with this whether or not there are benefits or if it's all bullshit.

How you can help: I'm looking for suggestions for a cleanse or detox that is supposed to have interesting results or one that you may be scared to try. Keep in mind I once ate nothing but eggs for three months based on a challenge.

Result #6: Place holder for another future success.

Update #1: The 24 Hour Fast…

Date: 1-28-2014

I've figured out what my first quarter one day cleanse will be. I'm going old school with a good old fashion fast. No food for twenty-four hours, just water.

Here are the 5 claimed benefits of this type of fasting:

• Blood cleansing for a clear mind

• A healthier liver

• Slowing the aging process

• A Powerful Immune System

• Weight Loss

I'll keep you posted as to how it works out.

Update #2: The 24 Hour Results…

Date: 1-30-2014

2:00 am: Started my fast.

3:00 am: Fell asleep. I didn't think much of the fast so far. That's why I decided to start it right before I went to sleep.

8:30 am: I woke up feeling kind of hungry. I probably could have planned this better because I didn't eat all that well yesterday so I'm sure my system is angry.

12:00 pm: I had to hide the food that I store on top of the refrigerator. I didn't realize how much I picked at these foods throughout the day until every time I crossed the room I was tempted to grab a bite, almost instinctively.

2:00 pm: Twelve hours in. I'm not going to lie. I am hungry, but this is no big deal. I've gone days without food just because I'm broke. I'm also drinking plenty of water whenever I have urges to eat. That seems to work.

3:00 pm: Just got done reading for the day. I think I need to nap. I wonder if the lack of food is why I felt so tired as I tried to read.  

6:30 pm: I made the mistake of looking in the cupboard to try to figure out what I wanted to eat as soon as this fast is over.

At around 10:30 pm: I tried to switch gears and work on the novel, only my brain wasn't having it. I'm not sure if it was angry for the monotonous day that I just put it through or if my whole body was angry at me for starving it for no apparent reason.

11:30 pm: I finally got around to updating these observations and actually just finished writing the above 6:30 pm update. That made me pretty hungry. Other than that today hasn't been too bad. Only a couple of hours left.

Did I mention that I have a headache?

1:00 am: Just an hour left until I can call this fast a success? Now that I've stopped working for the day I'm beginning to realize how much this would have sucked if I wasn't preoccupied with the tedious of going through all of my resolutions and Southland Tales reviews to create tags, summaries, and thumbnails for the new look that I'm going for. 

2:00 am: Success!!! What I achieved? I have no idea, but I did it!!!

Thankfully the rest of the cleanses/detoxes that I plan to experiment with be completely starvation-based.

9:00 am: I wrote the above celebratory bit at the same time I wrote my 1:00 am post so that when it was time I could just hit publish and be done with it.

Well… I fell asleep at 1:30 am without eating turning this into a 31 hour fast, and now for some breakfast.

Update #3: Suggestion Box? 

Date: 4-3-2014

It's time for my second quarter weekend cleanse or detox. Does anyone have any suggestions? Think: Interesting, Entertaining, Challenging, ETC...

(Note: I've already done a fast so that is off the table.)

Update #4: Time for The Master Cleanse!!! 

Date: 5-24-2014

This second quarter of the year almost snuck right by me. I have less than a week to fit in my weekend detox. Good thing I remembered that the deadline was approaching when I did.

That said, tomorrow I start The Master Cleanse!!!

This will be my sustenance for tomorrow.

Update #5: The Master Cleanse: Day One…

Date: 5-25-2014

I've been aware of The Master Cleanse for years. I first heard of it way back when Robin Quivers from the Howard Stern Show learned about it from David Blaine when he was a guest. I think that's how it was introduced to the show. Either way… it became a big part of the show after that.

I tried the "magical elixir," as they used to call it, but just to see what it tasted like. I didn't make any attempt to take it seriously. I have always been interested though. This intrigue is why I instantly jumped on the suggestion when I was looking for a weekend detox/cleanse to try for the second quarter of my internal cleaning experiment.

The one thing that I never realized about this Master Cleanse is that there are laxatives involved. I'm not sure how laxatives on an empty stomach are supposed to work, but I'll find out soon enough.  

Update #6: The Second Quarter Weekend Detox/Cleanse Results Are In!!!

Date: 5-28-2014

For those of you not playing along at home, I spent the last three days sans food, living off of nothing but a concoction made up of water, lemon juice, high-grade maple syrup, and cayenne powder... oh yeah, and I finished off each night with a tasty laxative, as per the rules of The Master Cleanse.

I don't know if I'm just getting used to fasting from a combination of experimentation and being poor, but I found, even though I didn't eat a single thing for three days it wasn't that hard. I don't know the science behind it, but this crazy drink seemed to work at suppressing my appetite. I also felt like I had more energy, and did end up losing six pounds.

So far I'm two for two as far as my quarterly detox/cleanse experiment goes. My next step is to find a week-long detox/cleanse to try. I'm probably going to try this master cleanse again for a longer period of time. Being that I'm boycotting reboots, which includes rebooting resolutions, this extended practice of The Master Cleanse will take place on my own time.

In conclusion, I am in no way becoming a champion for The Master Cleanse. I'm aware that anything to do with detoxing and cleansing is very polarizing.  All I know is what I experienced and what I experienced made me interested in delving deeper into The Master Cleanse Experiment.

Update #7: The Juice Cleanse.

Date: 9-28-2014

Today is day one of my third quarter’s cleanse and/or detox. I decided to go with the juice cleanse because I own a juicer and need to get some use out of it. 

I used the juicer a lot when I first got it, but cleaning the thing was such a pain. I think now that I'm developing these patterns to be less of a slob; it might not be as much of a nuisance.

Even if it is a nuisance it's only for seven days.

In this challenge… I include any store-bought item that claims to be a juice and anything nonfruit or veggie that I send through the juicer... I kind of want to experiment with anchovies and SPAM.

Update #8: Quarter Three Juice Cleanse Technically Complete!!!

Date: 10-6-2014

Last week I started my week-long third quarter cleanse. I chose the juice cleanse because I really wanted to start using my juicer again. Unfortunately… I had to start the cleanse last Sunday in order to meet the deadline.

Because of this early start… I had begun the cleanse during a rent/payday week. I don't end up with much money to spare on work/rent weeks and didn't have the money to afford all the produce needed to do this properly.

To make up for the lack of budget, I went with the poor man's juice cleanse and lived on nothing but $1.99 milk gallon Orange Punch.

I think my body really is getting used to these bizarre eating habits. Other than the psychological challenge of craving the many food products that caught my eye while at work, I didn't have an issue with the whole, no food thing.

I still want to use my juicer so I'll continue the poor-mans cleanse until I get paid on Thursday. Then I'll switch over to the fresh fruit juice cleanse for one full week.

To be continued...

Update #9: The Juicer Juice Cleanse.

Date: 10-12-2014

Today I finally went shopping to buy produce to move on from the poor man's juice cleanse into a real Juicer Juice Cleanse.

I turned the above into this:

This wasn't a recipe, I just walked around the produce area grabbing whatever seemed interesting to me.

I think I need to add a little more fruit to the mix to give it a little flavor.

Maybe I'll figure out the proper mix next time.

Update #10: Juicer Juice Cleanse Part #2.

Date: 10-26-2014

This is the first pitcher of juicer juice. As I pointed out in the last update… this combo was a little too veggie-based for my liking. The next day I used the leftovers and added pears and berries.

I would totally stick with juicing it wasn't so hard to clean the juicer. I love drinking so much that I'd rather live off a beverage based diet.  If only it was a little cheaper and easier.

Well… that does it for the third quart, one-week long Juice Cleanse with an added bonus of the one week Poor Mans juice cleanse.

Stay tuned for the announcement of next month’s one month detox.

I'm looking forward to this one.

Update #11: The Conclusion.

Date: 1-6-2015

Poor planning strikes again.

I knew from the get-go that there were going to be some of these resolutions that I wasn't going to be able to make the deadline due to funds or planning. I wrote in the intro that there will be successes marked with an *. 

I didn't think this was going to be one of those * Success, but the final detox that I'm going to try is a little expensive, and the decision to move took away from the funds that were meant to go to this challenge.

As soon as I get home and settled in I'll get back on this.

I did however complete the other three quarterly detoxes on time!!!

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