Result #42: I'm going to have to send this resolution to redemption even though it's already there :(

#42: I'm going to quit smoking for a year.

Date: 2-11-2014

Due date: 2-11-2015

Resolution: I'm going to stop smoking cigarettes for at least a year. Notice I didn't say quit. I don't like to quit things because I don't believe in the permanence of the word. How many smokers do you know that tell you they've quit smoking five times and that they're going to quit again soon? Doesn't that mean they've yet to quit once?

I also feel that "quitting" leads to too much pressure and pressure makes people want to smoke. Also this pressure of "quitting" seems to turn it into a game of all or nothing. I know plenty of people who once they stop all it'll take is one cigarette and its game on.

I'm currently down to where I only smoke socially when I'm around other smokers and I beg for a cigarette. I often go weeks without having a single smoke. I figure quitting smoking is a popular resolution so why not give it a shot and stop for a long period of time.

Who knows this may lead to actual quitting.


Update #1: Oops!

Date: 2-15-2014

Well I messed this one up right away. I managed to go longer without smoking before making the resolution than after making it. Last might I wasn't even pressured by anyone. I've just been in a bit of a rut, so when a friend went out to smoke I said screw it, I'm prepared to fail some of these resolutions.

Now that I've had time to think about it, my whole thing with smoking is that I didn't plan to quit. I just planned to stop for a year. I even point out in the resolution that I'm against "quitting" because that moment you slip up once, then it becomes game on and you're right back into the addiction.

So, rather than consider this a fail I will amend the rule to be if I do slip up then my year starts over again and I add an asterisk to to my Success if I do manage to make it a year. In order to fail I will have to smoke after 1-1-2015 because 365 Days of Resolution ends 12-31-2015 making it impossible to go an entire year at that point. 

I figure this new ruling will keep me honest and keep me going because I know if I just consider it a flat out fail I'll just go back to smoking when ever I want, and I do want to take a significant break if not permanent, but I'm not quitting :)

My new Due Date: 2-15-2015

Update #2: The Conclusion part one.

Date: 2-15-2015

This is another resolution that I'm highly disappointed with myself for failing. I already sent this resolution to redemption because I messed up days after setting it. After I screwed up the first time I did great. I went all the way up to my farewell party without so much as a thought of smoking.

I only had a couple week until I could consider this a success, but then a combination of drunken emotions and an old friend that I can't not smoke around struck and I gave in. I wasn't even sure whether or not I had smoked the next day but then I had some fuzzy memories.

I knew for sure I did.

My first reaction was, "Fuck it, there's no way I can successfully complete this challenge any more." I went back to smoking for the next four days. I fell into my own trap of falling off the wagon for a bit equaling all in smoking once again.

After getting nothing out of my last cigarette I decided I'm just not going to smoke for a while longer with or without the challenge and will consider this a redeemed success if I make it the rest of the year without a cigarette.