Southland Tales review 23 of 52.

Alright, no more camping for me for a long while, it’s over! I made it!

I learned a lot from the three graphic novels that make up Southland Tales backstory. Unfortunately I was rushed to read them due to said camping trip.

My original plan for this week’s review was to reread all three graphic novels and watch the Cannes Cut of the film to see what I may have missed, but then when I got home and was reunited with the internet I fell down many Youtube rabbit holes.

One of the videos I stumbled across was entitled “Southland Tales, Sri Yantra, and the Butterfly Effect Pt. 1”

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I have no idea what this is about but once you see the thumbnail images for this three part series you’ll understand why I made this executive decision to make this my top priority.

I figured it’s been a while since I watched the Cannes Cut so at 1:30 in the pm on Sunday June 21rst I fired up the Cannes Cut of Southland Tales.

My plan was to relax and watch the movie so the story would be fresh in my mind for what I was about to see in this Sri Yantra video. I threw some medication in the mix to brace myself for the New Age nonsense I was hoping to witness.

The viewing was pretty uneventful though I did manage to catch a few things that were cut from the theatrical release that had connections to the graphic novels that I look forward to delving in to.

I got done watching the movie and fired up “Southland Tales, Sri Yantra and the Butterfly Effect Pt. 1.”

Oh boy, this is some rapid fire convoluted craziness, I think they just linked the Rock to 9/11 not his character in Southland Tales, but him personally and all of his characters leading up to Southland Tales. In a metaphysical way that is, not in a, he planned the attack way.

I’m too high for this yet at the same time I don’t think there is any other condition to be in for this to make any sense.

I can’t do it.

I’ll try again tomorrow.

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Okay I’m back.

This time I’m hopped up on energy drinks. Maybe this will give me the focus I need to follow this craziness.

Here goes nothing.

  • The video starts talking about Scorpio and the number 8 and how 8 has something to do with Star Gates.
  • There's footage of the Rock as the Scorpion King and they keep talking about the rock, but not the actor the Rock. The guy refers to the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem, and the Black Stone of Mecca.
  • He mentions that this Dome of the Rock, the Black Stone of Mecca and the Pyramids of Giza are all linked to the Twin Towers. These links must have been talked about in a past video because it's mentioned in a matter of fact way that we should just know this.
  • He goes on to link Scorpio, Horace, and Jesus.
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  • He starts to tie it all together linking the actor/former wrestler the Rock to the Dome of the Rock, the Black Stone of Mecca, Scorpio through his portrayal of the Scorpion King and Christ resurrected in the Southland Tales.
  • He then goes on to talk about Egypt for a bit and show the Rock transform into the Scorpion King. He bails out on his point before going into the significance of this transformation to point out that the Rock was in the movie Doom.
  • He links Scorpio to Hades and Hades to Mars which is where Doom takes place.
  • He then links Scorpio to damn near every God out there and links the design of Washington DC to the design of an ancient civilization’s Mars based city.
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Keep in mind all of this has been covered in less than two minutes.

  • He’s very hung up on Star Gates.
  • He goes on to point out Masonic symbols in fictional work as well as in real life architecture.

I’m still not fully sure how Southland Tales fits into this other than the brief mention linking the Rock to Jesus, but I’ve got 6 more minutes to find out.

  • Now he's talking about the movie Warlock and how there are worm holes in this movie as well. I’m guessing that all this wormhole and Star Gate talk will eventually come around to the time portal in Southland Tales, but that’s just a guess.
  • In the movie Warlock there is some prophetic book and one of the characters cuts out Satan’s eyes to reveal where the book is. Again I’m guessing he’s building to a link to Southland Tales but we’ll have to see.
  • Nope.
  • He goes on to link the prophetic book to The Book of the Dead and then list off a bunch of other movies with eye removals in them and links this to the eye of Horace. He never mentions The Power or Seann William Scott's eye injury, just sample after sample of every movie but Southland Tales.

He’s got to be building to this Southland Tales link soon it’s part of the title of the video for crying out loud.

  • I’m a little confused because he just got done talking about Horace’s left eye injury then the video cuts to an image of Leela from Futurama, who has no left eye.
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  • Finally… It may not be Southland Tales, but at least it's a Richard Kel... Nope, they just showed a scene of the one eyed lady from Donnie Darko then randomly played an Alice in Chains video.
  • I guess they showed the music video because of the image of the Jesus looking guy with his eyes sewn shut.
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  • In an interesting turn I think this guy is linking the movie Jesus Camp with Indiana Jones? He doesn't say anything to link the two but the imagery says it all.
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  • Oh, seven minutes in and we have our second mention of Southland Tales. Now we’re going to get somewhere!
  • Nope, he mentions there is a time portal and the Rock plays a Christ characters and then goes on to describe the episode of South Park where the paparazzi tries to get Brittany Spears to kill herself.
  • Here we go, because he mentioned Brittany Spears he has a very loose connection to Mandy Moore from Southland Tales he has to talk about… Nope… He’s talking about Mandy Moore in Saved.
  • Oh, he somehow linked her character crashing into the giant Jesus sign at the end of Saved to have some meaning with her Southland Tales character.
  • He goes on to talk about Mandy Moore and Justin Timberlake started out in the “Mickey Mouse Mind Manipulation Club.”
  • And it's back to talk about the Masonic imagery in the JT music video scene. He seems mainly hung up on the checkered floor and the ski ball targets.

  • And he’s off to the Matrix.
  • In an interesting move with over a minute left this guy plugs the bands that he borrowed music from to make the video it’s seems like this is it, just music and images to play us out…
  • Wait what? With less than 30 seconds left he throws in one last connection between Donnie Darko, Evil Dead, and portals then he finishes by saying stay tuned for parts two and three of this Southland extravaganza?

Sorry if any of this is unclear. I’m can only work with what I’m given.

I was originally going to watch all three parts of this video and report my findings in one review but now that I am three pages in with a headache from trying to follow the logic this is going to have to be a multiple part review.

I can’t wait to see what this wacko has to say next week!

Matt Bunker

I started out with a goal of becoming a paid screenwriter. I had no interest in any other aspect of filmmaking. I received and scholarship to The Vancouver Film School's Writing for Film and Television program where I graduated in 2005. I fell in love with being on set during my first non-school produced short, . I loved being around all the creative people, seeing people having fun while working. The whole liking your job was a new world to me, so I decided to give it a shot. I volunteered for any project I could, doing what ever was needed. The set was my Film School this time. While working as a PA on a feature I was informed that the DP wanted the three tallest PAs to help out in the grip and electric department. That is when I found the department that felt like the best fit for me while I continued to write.