Another fun "negative" review of And Then Something Happened.

Imagination Gone Wild

First, I should say that the ratings veer toward the low side only because the categories provided aren't in the area of your strengths. If there were categories for Imagery, Absurdist Humor, Colorful Scenarios etc. this screenplay would shine.

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This is the most colorful, ridiculous, vivid contraption I've encountered in screenplay form. Perhaps because it's not meant exactly to be a screenplay in the strictest sense. It feels like it was a fun, cathartic exploration for the writer in a Burroughs/Kaufman/Crumb/Obayashi on Benzedrine mashup kinda way.

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Which can be a fun ride for a reader. And there's a barrage of great visuals from the light bulb to the critters helping the roadkill across the street to the self-conscious camera moves. Any five minutes of this would make a great music video or trippy companion to Heavy Metal.

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I'm sure you're getting this a lot, but as it reads now, the story seems more positioned to be a graphic novel or sci-fi novel.

As far as a feature narrative, there's nothing for me as a reader to latch onto and the visuals, no matter how fantastic, start to feel monotonous and even frustrating. If you're interested in strengthening the reader's investment, I'd suggest keeping a main character (such as Marty) involved and pursuing a visible goal throughout. The visuals and wacky, colorful world will still pay off, but now you'll have an audience who's sticking around to see what happens.

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Regardless of the medium you choose, you clearly have a vivid imagination that deserves an outlet.

Matt Bunker

I started out with a goal of becoming a paid screenwriter. I had no interest in any other aspect of filmmaking. I received and scholarship to The Vancouver Film School's Writing for Film and Television program where I graduated in 2005. I fell in love with being on set during my first non-school produced short, . I loved being around all the creative people, seeing people having fun while working. The whole liking your job was a new world to me, so I decided to give it a shot. I volunteered for any project I could, doing what ever was needed. The set was my Film School this time. While working as a PA on a feature I was informed that the DP wanted the three tallest PAs to help out in the grip and electric department. That is when I found the department that felt like the best fit for me while I continued to write.