This is a review of my latest screenplay, And Then Something Happened, from a reader at Zoetrope.com. At least I think it's a negative review. He says it's not for him, but... You decide.
I don't know where this was inspired, but it's very unique and ambitious screenplay. It reminds me of "Funky Forest" and "Taste of Tea" if you've ever seen those films. It was strange, bizzare, and honestly over my head. I didn't understand the "battle for the present" that you stated in your logline, but I did enjoy very much seeing how you weaved all the chapters together with a continuous feel. The screenplay itself felt very much stream-of-consciousness.
I went into reading your script expecting a Back to the Future style story and kept waiting for the script to jump on a linear path. In the end, I felt a little duped by your logline, and maybe it's just my expectation that I would be reading a screenplay with a conventional story. But you did write your logline in a very straightforward way, so think about changing your logline to reflect the structure of your screenplay so you will attract the right readers to it.
In the end, I thought that there were some interesting ideas and fun moments, but it wasn't cohesive to me as a movie. This is a work of art, an artistic expression, and should you ever get it made I expect it would become a midnight movie with cult status. This is not mainstream, not even in an indie way. This is something so completely off the wall I can't categorize it.
And for that reason, I find it hard to give you feedback. I'm not sure what standard I should be holding it against. It breaks the mold in so many ways, I wouldn't want to point them out.
Instead, I'll open this up to a dialogue. You tell me what you're trying to achieve, or send me a specific question and I can answer it.
Thanks for the opportunity to read your script. It wasn't for me, but I
applaud you for making something so differently awesome that I can't
help but be in awe of its originality.