SNL: S12E13... HOST: VALERIE BERTINELLI... DATE: FEBRUARY 28, 1987

SNL: S12E13... HOST: VALERIE BERTINELLI... DATE: FEBRUARY 28, 1987

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started at the White House with Ron Regan meeting with his Chief Of Staff (COS) for a briefing about The Tower Commissions findings about the Iran Contra Scandal only Ronald doesn't have the time or ability to read and comprehend the full report leading the COS to offer a dumbed down summary that the President is still too out of it to understand. Nancy then enters the room and the office goes silent as she and the COS have an ongoing feud that turns out to stem from an implied affair. Ronald then catches the two making out and thinks it a sign that they have solved their differences, leading to a happy president who announces, "Live from New York..."
  2. Valerie Bertinelli then officially opened the show with a monolog about how crazy live TV is versus the nine seasons she spent on One Day At A Time and then goes on to explain how she's now trying to change the innocent image that she developed while on the show, especially since she was then married to Eddie Van Halen and how she feels hosting SNL would actually do the job after a few failed attempts back acting in horror movies.
  3. We then got a repeat of the McSooshi sketch from a couple episodes ago where they parody a McDonald's brand of sushi. 
  4. We then went to The Hard News Cafe which makes fun of the restaurant chain The Hard Rock Cafe only instead of being music theme the restaurant features collectible items from the news with the top news anchors from the time being the VIP clientele. 
  5. Discover was a sketch that seemed to parody the influence of the Discovery Channel because the logo looked the same and it made fun of a science themed show but it was definitely Discover and not Discovery and I'm not sure if this was part of the parody because I am unfamiliar with the show being referenced. Anyways, in the sketch, Phil Hartman plays the host who doesn't seem to know a thing about science as he interviews Jon Lovitz about the basic element and cannot grasp the information being shared even though it's dumbed down for the average home viewer.
  6. Dinner with the Van Halens was a sketch that shows Valerie Bertinelli's first dinner at home following the latest Van Halen tour where the roadies and crew member act as servants who sneak around as if they were providing the same stage crew services that they would provide to the band during a concert. 
  7. Robert Cray Band then took to the stage to perform Smoking Gun.
  8. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, we met the winner/hostage of a win an evening with David Lee Roth contest, and Kevin Nealon also dropped in to talk sports only to end up rambling through a myriad of funny but unrelated topics like this news character of his always does.
  9. Ching Chang then returned for another extremely offensive sketch, especially through modern eyes. In the sketch, we are back at the Chicken Pet Shop where Chang refuses to sell chicken for food, which is cute but the accents are atrocious.  
  10. Eddie Van Halen then took to the stage where he and the SNL Band performed Stompin' 8H.
  11. We then got a fake ad for Washington Center Cosmetic Surgery that seemed like a legitimate ad to the point where if I didn't see that there was a part two I would have no idea there was a joke.
  12. Let's Go To The Movies was a cable access show where Valerie Bertinelli and Jan Hooks talk about The Color Of Money mainly focusing on the infatuation with Tom Cruise, leading the two to get into a compliment battle over each other's looks in two very annoying valley girl voices.
  13. We then got a follow-up ad to the Washington Center but this Washington Center is a collection of attorneys who specialize in cases over botched face lifts from the Washington Center surgeons. Both ads feature Nora Dunn as the before and after example/host of the commercial.
  14. On Broadway was a talk show sketch hosted by Jan Hooks who interviews Phil Hartman as the new King from the King And I, following the death of Uell Brenner. In the sketch, Phil Hartman is super defensive from having to answer the same questions that come with following such a legend, instead of acting humble and pretending the constant comparisons are understandable and don't actually get to him.
  15. Robert Cray Band then returned to the stage to perform Right Next Door. 
  16. Incompetent Doctor
  17. Finally, Valerie Bertinelli closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights. 
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