SNL: S19E20... HOST: HEATHER LOCKLEAR... DATE: MAY 14, 1994

SNL: S19E20... HOST: HEATHER LOCKLEAR... DATE: MAY 14, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with another installment of Coffee Talk where once again, host, Linda Richman does her usual Coffee Talk thing only this time is joined by Heather Locklear who plays her landlord to join in on the Yiddish talk that built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Heather Locklear then officially opened the show with a monolog about how honored she was to host the last episode of the season, even though the show has still yet to get to the point where the season finale is all that special like how it eventually grows to be. Before Locklear could get too deep into her jokes she was called backstage by Phil Hartman who was worried that she was cheating on him with Kevin Nealon. This led to a journey backstage to learn that she was sleeping around with the entire cast, including the fictional Cantina Boy.
  3. This was followed by a fake ad for “Eych!” which was a special hairball remover that “cats ask for by name.”
  4. We then got a parody of Melrose Place where Wayne from Wayne’s World fantasized about being on the show where he met all of the parodied versions of people from the show before making out with Heather Locklear’s character.
  5. Hot Button was a talk show sketch hosted by Heather Locklear who had of Clarence Thomas and Ted Kennedy as her guest to talk about sexual harassment in the workforce only the two creeps can’t ease up on their raunchy talk long even though this was going out on the air.
  6. Janet Jackson then took to the stage to perform Throb. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Norm MacDonald dropped by to share his homophobic perspective on the Whitewater scandal where he mainly focused on the case but kept freaking out on Kevin Nealon for sitting too close to him. Adam Sandler also dropped in to perform a summer song about how he fell in love with his fifty one-year-old gym teacher.
  8. The Flirt was a sketch where Heather Locklear and Kevin Nealon flirt with one another from across the bar by only using facial expressions which eventually gets pretty weird.
  9. Norm MacDonald then portrayed Andy Rooney to parody his 60 Minutes segments where the old curmudgeon shared all of his quirky inner thoughts.
  10. Amazing Time Savers was the classic infomercial parody where Heather Locklear played the pitchwoman for a pasta maker who kept accidentally slipping in racist’s remarks while showing off the product. In the sketch, we could see the order takers answer the phones that light up with calls of complaints whenever she spits out her blind but blatant bigotry.
  11. The Orgasm Guy’s French cousin L'Homme d'Orgasme then made his debut to the show where he and Rob Schneider kept orgasming in their own pants while acting in a fake French prime-time show.
  12. Janet Jackson then returned to the stage to perform Any Time, Any Place. 
  13. Several of this season’s reoccurring characters then took to the stage to perform a song and dance to the tune of So Long, Farewell in order to say goodbye for the summer.
  14. Finally, Heather Locklear closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S19E19... HOST: JOHN GOODMAN... DATE: MAY 7, 1994

SNL: S19E19... HOST: JOHN GOODMAN... DATE: MAY 7, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody coverage of the New York Governor's Debate where Phil Hartman as Mario Cuomo debated Mike McKean as Howard Stern who was really running for governor that year. The main joke was that Howard treated his campaign like his radio show by saying shocking things while speaking out of turn with Robin Quivers right by his side. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. John Goodman then officially opened the show with a monolog about how this is his fifth time hosting the show and rather than receive his Five-Timers coat, he did a special routine in honor of Mother’s Day where he admitted to several of his biggest secrets that he’s been keeping to himself ever since he was a little child.
  3. This was followed by a repeat of the fake ad for Majestic Caribbean Cruise Line from last season where the cruise line’s biggest selling point was that you would be kept company by Manute Bol.
  4. Captain Jim And Pedro then made their return to show where the captain and the moron met up with John Goodman prior to a double date with his two daughters. Surprisingly, Goodman didn’t get disturbed at all by their tales of being stuck on an island alone together for over fifteen years.
  5. NRA's American Sportsman Today was a parody of a hunting show with John Goodman as the host who took gun nuts out to go hunting with assault rifles that are way too powerful for the task at hand to where the animals were unrecognizable when all the firing was done.
  6. The Pretenders then took to the stage to perform Night In My Veins.
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, David Spade dropped by as himself to discuss the current state of the music industry and the annoying things that bands try to pull off when you go to see them live.
  8. Real Stories Of The Arkansas Highway Patrol was a parody of a local COPS-style show that followed an Arkansas Highway Patrol Agent back when they were acting as scouts for tracking down women for Bill Clinton back when he was the governor of the state.
  9. Theatre Stories also returned after a long hiatus where once again, Mike Myers played the host/British stage actor who interviewed fellow old-timey stage actors about the good old days of theater. 
  10. Ninja Pep Talk was a parody of an American Ninja style flick where we met up with a bunch of ninjas who had their asses handed to them during a fight with our hero as they made plans for their attack for the next go around.
  11. We then got a repeat of the fake ad for Philadelphia Action Figures from earlier this year which pitched action figures for the courtroom drama starring Tom Hanks.
  12. Michael Bolton: In His Own Words was a fake ad for a new album filled with Michael Bolton covering songs and only changing one or two words in order to take credit for writing the song.
  13. The Pretenders then returned to the stage to perform I'll Stand By You.
  14. Flintstones Names was a PSA where John Goodman revisited his role as Fred Flintstone to break down the show’s strategy to come up with its characters’ names.
  15. Psychotic Cab Ride was almost a parody of Cash Cab if that show was only around at the time. In the sketch Rob Schneider a psychotic cab driver who nonchalantly admits to the many violent crimes that he’s committed by sprinkling in unasked for information while giving his passengers a quiz.  
  16. Finally, John Goodman closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E18... HOST: EMILIO ESTEVEZ... DATE: APRIL 16, 1994

SNL: S19E18... HOST: EMILIO ESTEVEZ... DATE: APRIL 16, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started in Singapore for the Michael Fay Caning which was an incident at the time where an American got caned in Singapore after vandalizing several cars and a bus only to find that the caner, the person swinging the cane, is actually Kevin Nealon who played an American who moved to Singapore since there were no caning jobs in the states. Kevin really enjoys his job and rambles on making pleasant small talk while beating the hell out of Emilio Estevez who was playing Michael Fay. As always, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Emilio Estevez then officially opened the show with a monolog about what the Brat Pack is up to now that they are all old with a bit of a where are they now segment highlighting how he is the only one who was still a success, at the time. This would have been much more fun if they actually had pictures to go along with the jokes but instead Emilio quickly ran through his subtle jabs so quickly that the jokes fell pretty flat, barely getting any response from the crowd but at least he seemed to be having fun trying to tell jokes since I was a bit worried that this might be a too cool for the show type of appearance.
  3. Geek, Dweeb, or Spazz was a game show sketch hosted by Mike Myers where the popular kids from school played the contestants who had to categorize all of the misfits from their school after asking them a couple of questions.
  4. The Whitewater Folder was a parody ad for a new book by John Grisham that treated the investigation of the Whitewater scandal as if it were another installment in his series of legal thriller books.
  5. Pearl Jam then took to the stage to perform Not For You. 
  6. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Kevin Nealon slipped into his Subliminal Man character to give a commentary on the Singapore caning incident that was referred to in the opening sketch. Opera Man also dropped in to sing another song about the events that were making the headlines during throughout the week.
  7. How Much Ya Bench? was the classic talk show sketch with a panel filled with juiced up, muscle-bound bodybuilders who all have huge upper bodies but tiny legs since their main focus is, as the title suggests, bench-pressing. During the discussion, the entire panel struggles to hold back their roid rage while claiming to be steroid-free.
  8. Pearl Jam then returned to the stage to perform Rearviewmirror. 
  9. The Herlihy Boy Grandmother Sitting Service returned for another installment where Adam Sander begs to watch your grandmother while Chris Farley aggressively reassured us that the Herlihy Boy is the perfect fit for the job. The sketch ended with Emilio Estevez as himself to vouch for the Herlihy Boy.
  10. We then went to a poker game in the Wild West where Emilio Estevez played Poker Billy who was super good at the game even though he had absolutely no idea how to play. Meanwhile, he thinks that everyone else is cheating. In between hands, Mike McKean played a character who sang a tune that told the tale of the annoying poker player.
  11. This was followed by another Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey where Jack thought back to the invention of the fly swatter.
  12. Pearl Jam returned to the stage yet again, this time to perform the song Daughter. 
  13. Finally, Emilio Estevez closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E17... HOST: KELSEY GRAMMER... DATE: APRIL 9, 1994

SNL: S19E17... HOST: KELSEY GRAMMER... DATE: APRIL 9, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Hillary's Investment Tips that parodied the old E.F. Hutton ads only Jan Hooks plays Hillary Clinton so share her money making scams as well as warning about investing in real estate based on her Whitewater ordeal. As always, this being the opening sketch it eventually built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Kelsey Grammer then officially opened the show wearing a wig to perform his monolog about Spring Time only to have the director call him out on how ridiculous the wig looks on his head. He then goes on to explain that he is only bald while playing the Frasier character while desperately trying to pull off the lie that this is his actual hair. Not only does he get it from the director but the cast also joined in on questioning his appearance which sent him backstage to complain to Lorne Michaels. While backstage, Lorne introduced Kelsey to Sy Sperling, the founder of The Hair Club For Men which kind of worked as an unspoken intervention.
  3. This was followed by a fake ad for Majestic Caribbean Cruise Line where they promised all of the usual amenities but the main selling point was the fact that Manut Bol would be your favorite cruise companion.
  4. We then got a parody of Dance Party USA called Inhibited Dance Party USA whereas the title suggests, this was a dance show where the dancers weren’t as excited to be seen dancing as you would expect from this kind of show.
  5. Giulianis Watch The Yankees was a sketch where Rudy and Andrew Guliani went to a Yankee game and Andrew Guliani acted up the same way that he did during Rudy’s inauguration press conference which really causes a scene, especially since he kept ending up getting hit in the head by foul balls while leaning in to taunt or encourage the players.
  6. Dwight Yoakam then took to the stage to perform Pocket Of A Clown. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Tim Meadows introduced his Mustafa Muhammad character to talk about how the Clintons would be in jail if they were black and tried to pull off this Whitewater nonsense. Kevin Nealon also joined in on the Zima Zaste Zest which was going on at the time and came to the conclusion that it Zastes like Zit. Chris Farley and David Spade then rounded out the news by sharing their review of a trip to Cancun where they went for Spring Break vacation only to end up making rambling jokes without going too deep into the actual trip at all.
  8. We then got a parody of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea where Kelsey Grammer played Captain Nemo who struggle to get his crew to stop measuring everything in leagues when there are much more efficient ways to express measurements since they used 20,000 leagues as a way to express anything from distance to time to even weight which made no sense at all.
  9. This was followed by a parody of Sunday Morning With Charles Kuralt where Norm played Kuralt to share his final moments at the end of his final episode going into his retirement where he rambles on and on, sneaking in that sex was the true reason that he decided to start a Sunday travel show and then went on to share some of his craziest stories in a very boring tone.
  10. We were then introduced to a sketch called Something Smells Good In Stinkville where Kelsey Grammer is enjoying his morning tea when he smells something pleasant which is actually horrible in this world where the senses are reversed. This led him to smell his cat's ass to get rid of the smell of flowers.
  11. Dwight Yoakam then returned to the show to perform Fast as You. 
  12. Captain Jim And Pedro where Kelsey Grammer played the manager of a Foot Locker where Captain Jim, played by Tim Meadows, and Pedro, who was pretty much Adam Sandler’s buffoon character were in competition for the one available job opening. These two characters both came straight from an island where they were stranded together for several years. Even though neither have great social skills Captain Jim can at least speak using sentences that actually make sense. For some reason, this seems like a tough decision even though Kelsey eventually does make the obvious choice and then it just got convoluted, in a funny way, from there.
  13. Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey then returned after a long break so that Jack could question if it would be worth it to hit the brakes on your car if you accidentally drove it over a cliff.
  14. Something Smells Good In Stinkville then returned for a second installment of the night where there is a bit of confusion as to where or not bad is good or bad is bad in this world of mixed up senses but again ended with Kelsey smelling the cat’s ass after losing a bit and breaking the scene with a chuckle.
  15. Kelsey Grammer then introduced an obscure musical that he saw called I Am A Man and then had the cast help him attempt to reenact it. It turned out that this was a play about one of those men’s’ groups that used to venture out into the woods to bang on drums and find their spirit animals.
  16. Something Smells Good In Stinkville once again for its third and final installment where we learned of the towns name change to Smellsgoodland to help people from getting confused only the guy spreading the news was accused of being a liar but not about the name change but then again he wasn’t a man to be trusted.
  17. Finally, Kelsey Grammer closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E16... HOST: HELEN HUNT... DATE: MARCH 19, 1994

SNL: S19E16... HOST: HELEN HUNT... DATE: MARCH 19, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Rockers To Help Explain Whitewater which was another Farm Aid style parody where the entire cast got to impersonate popular music acts from the time to sing an explanation of the Clinton’s Whitewater Scandal which is still pretty controversial to this day. Of course, this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to Cindy Crawford’s announcement of, “Live from New York…”   
  2. Helen Hunt then officially opened the show with a monolog about her early acting career which led to her to share the classic scene from the After School Special, Desperate Lives where she snorted angel dust and instantly freaked out so badly that she ended up jumping out the window and running around like a crazy person throughout the college campus.
  3. Total Bastard Airlines was the introduction of David Spade and Helen Hunt playing the flight attendants who passive-aggressively, “Bah Bye,” the passengers as they try to exit the plane.
  4. Coffee Talk then returned with host, Linda Richman who had Helen Hunt on who played a family member to do the usual Coffee Talk routine.
  5. Snoop Doggy Dogg then took to the stage to perform Gin And Juice. 
  6. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Jay Mohr dropped in as Dick Vitale to scream about his Oscar picks. Chris Farley also returned as his Bennett Brauer character to bash himself while using finger quotes. This led to the classic moment where Farley was supposed to randomly lift off and fly around the crowd only to have his strings get caught up in the lights.
  7. Profiles In Cowardice was panel show sketch where Phil Hartman interviewed guest who were extreme cowards in the past which included the only man to surrender to the Iraqis during the first Persian Gulf War even though he wasn’t there, a man who continually runs from wild animals even though they’re not near enough to be a threat, Helen Hunt who play a woman whose child was stolen by her husband and taken back to Iran but rather than do anything about it like the real story, that Helen acted in a movie about, she did absolutely nothing about, there was also a guy who did nothing during a brutal attack on the street and finally ended on a character who put himself in the FBI Witness Protection Program even though he had no reason to be scared.
  8. Emotional Director was a sketch where the director was built up to be someone who was great at understanding women only it turned out that this meant he was a sexist creep who frustrated the actresses into giving their emotional performances.
  9. The Washing Machine was a parody sequel/short film of the movie The Piano where Ellen Cleghorne finds a washing machine that washes onto the beach and becomes an expert at using it even though this seems to be a period piece from a time before washing machines were even made.
  10. Snoop Doggy Dogg then returned to the stage to perform Lodi Dodi. 
  11. Astounding Information was an infomercial parody where Helen Hunt and Kevin Nealon introduced the idea of frying eggs in a frying pan to save you money and time even though there is absolutely nothing special about any aspect of the fake infomercial at all other than the exaggerated excitement.
  12. Office Space: Part 2 was the second installment of the cartoons Milton cartoons that inspired the Office Space movie where he continues to be moved to worse areas of the office while his stapler continues to be taken away as well, leading him to threaten to blow up the entire building.
  13. Rob Schneider's Girlfriend Theater returned for another installment where Rob Schneider introduced another story of another past relationship that was then acted out on the stage only this time it ended as a musical.
  14. Finally, Helen Hunt closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S19E15... HOST: NANCY KERRIGAN... DATE: MARCH 12, 1994

SNL: S19E15... HOST: NANCY KERRIGAN... DATE: MARCH 12, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a parody of an NBC News Special Report where Phil Hartman as Bill Clinton addressed the nation about the Whitewater Affair where he admitted to everything and then pushed all of the blame onto Hillary, who he said was now our former first lady. This threw the press corps into a tizzy with questions about Hillary while Bill attempted to move on to the next question, eventually leading to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Nancy Kerrigan then officially opened the show with a quick joke about her latest Disney Spokeswoman gig before taking on questions from the “audience” about the whole Tonya Harding ordeal, only it turns out more people are interested in the world of ice skating over the actual scandal.
  3. This was followed by yet another repeat of the fake ad for Crystal Gravy from last season which pitched a clear gravy in a parody of the Crystal Clear Pepsi ad campaign.
  4. Sports Beat was a sports talk show hosted by Mike McKean who made his midseason debut as a new featured cast member, who interviewed the Winter Olympic heroes from that year who other than Nancy Kerrigan had to go back to their crummy lives where they worked normal jobs and no one noticed them at all, hell they weren’t even noticed during the Winter Events.
  5. We then went down to the St. Patrick's Day Parade where Nancy Kerrigan played the Grand Marshall to wave at the locals of a tiny town that is falling to crap ever since the industry that kept them afloat went away while the Mayor of the town continued to share their horror stories while both put on a happy face and local rushed the car while being wasted in public to celebrate the drinking holiday.  
  6. The Denise Show then returned for another installment where, as always, Adam Sander continues to obsess over his ex. This time he’s back to obsessing over Shannen Doherty which was addressed in the first phone call but was pretty much glossed over. He then went on to obsess over Denise in various creepy ways until we learned that he used to have a show in the seventies where he was obsessed with Nancy Kerrigan who eventually joined him in singing their special song.
  7. Aretha Franklin then took to the stage to perform A Deeper Love. 
  8. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Phil Hartman dropped by as Frank Sinatra to finish an acceptance speech for some reward that cut him off due to time only he barely said anything at all. Adam Sandler also dropped in as Bono to sing a song about other things to do on Saint Patrick’s Day other than drink your ass off.
  9. Don Mateo was a sketch that took place in tropical Latin where Norm MacDonald and Mike Myers were on vacation having lunch with a local named Don Mateo who was obsessed with Nancy Kerrigan who played the waitress. Though Don Mateo kept claiming that she had a fiery personality whenever she spoke she was extremely average, if not boring which confused the hell out of Don Mateo’s guests.  
  10. We then went to Lillehammer '94 for some parody coverage of the Winter Olympics where Tim Meadows played Greg Gumbel whose make-up made him look like a Garbage Pail Kid. We then to cut to coverage of figure skating where Chris Farley and Nancy Kerrigan play a couple who performed a routine where Nancy did all of the work while Farley simply skated around flailing his arms as if he were actually doing something.
  11. Aretha Franklin then returned to the stage to perform Willing To Forgive. 
  12. We then got a that set up Nancy At Disneyland for her first day on the job as their spokesperson to promote the re-release of Snow White  
  13. Black Rhythm And Blues Singers Today was a talk show hosted by Ellen Cleghorne who interviewed Aretha Franklin as herself about how she recently quit smoking which led her to put on weight only Cleghorne was so noisy chiming in with encouragements to where it was difficult to hear what Aretha was actually saying.
  14. This was followed by a second installment of the Nancy At Disneyland campaign where this time she was promoting Tinkerbell while riding the spinning teacups.
  15. Aretha Franklin then returned to the stage to perform Chain of Fools. 
  16. Once again we went Nancy At Disneyland for part three of the ad campaign where finally she was teamed up with Abe Lincoln from the Hall Of Presidents.
  17. Finally, Nancy Kerrigan closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S19E14... HOST: MARTIN LAWRENCE... DATE: FEBRUARY 19, 1994

SNL: S19E14... HOST: MARTIN LAWRENCE... DATE: FEBRUARY 19, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From Jeff Gillooly played by Rob Schneider who shared his side of the Nancy Kerrigan knee bashing scandal only to distract from his guilt he mainly focused on the Clinton Health Care Initiative since he wouldn’t be covered for his hit job since he was only a contracted worker for Tonya Harding. Of course, this being the opening sketch, it eventually built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”  
  2. Martin Lawrence then officially opened the show with a bit of his stand-up routine from that time, instead of an actual monolog, where he tells women to wash their ass.
  3. This was followed by a repeat of the fake ad for McIntosh Post-it Notes from earlier in the season.
  4. We then got a parody of COPS called THUGS where instead of a camera crew following the police, they followed the people who actually commit the crimes with Martin Lawrence and Phil Hartman playing an unlikely pair of common street criminals who mainly mug people who they stalk from their car.
  5. Daily Affirmation then returned where this time host, Stuart Smalley, had on Martin Lawrence as his guest to talk about race relations only his overly passive tones didn’t blend well with Lawrence’s straight up aggression as he went on to accuse Smalley of being a homosexual which brought out his inner rage and tapped into Martin’s sensitive side in the process. By the end of the sketch, they were both crying “like little girls.”  
  6. Crash Test Dummies then took to the stage to perform Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Norm MacDonald dropped in for a segment to talk about a case where a woman accused him of stealing her song and defended Michael by asking where he would meet a girl since he is a child molester who hangs out with nothing but little boys (Norm’s words not mine.) David Spade also dropped by for another installment of his Hollywood Minute segment where once again he roasted celebrities who were making the news that week.  
  8. Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker also returned to give warnings about ending up, “LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER,” to a bunch of kids in a prison as part of the Scared Straight Program which ended up not scaring the kids at all even after teaming up with Martin Lawrence who played a much more aggressive inmate who kept physically threatening the kids only to get made fun of in return.
  9. Mike Myers then debuted his The Bike Messenger character who was a very regal speaking bike delivery man making fun of the fact that the NYC bike messengers always carried themselves as the king of the roads. Another aspect of the sketch was that Myers kept yelling out conversations to people on the street even after being called out by Norm MacDonald who pointed out this form of communication would be completely impossible since one side was stagnant while the other was supposed to be traveling at a high speed.
  10. Crash Test Dummies then returned to the stage to perform Afternoons And Coffeespoons.
  11. The Benchwarmer was a sketch where Martin Lawrence played The New York Nets’ benchwarmer who loved to talk trash but was scared to death when it came to actually playing the game.
  12. This was followed by a parody of The Ricki Lake Show that focused on abusive fathers and husbands of major celebrities that featured Martin Lawrence as Joe Jackson and Tim Meadows as Ike Turner
  13. Finally, Martin Lawrence closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnight.
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SNL: S19E13... HOST: ALEC BALDWIN & KIM BASINGER... DATE: FEBRUARY 12, 1994

SNL: S19E13... HOST: ALEC BALDWIN & KIM BASINGER... DATE: FEBRUARY 12, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a parody of Goodfellas where Alec reenacted the scene where Ray Liotta enters the bar sharing all of the mobster’s nicknames as he passes them, only in this version it’s all of the cast members of SNL playing the mobsters with nicknames that grow to be more and more random and bizarre as the scene led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger the officially opened the show by talking about the fact that they are newlyweds and there hosting of this episode will be a special event as it marks their first Valentines as a married couple. Kim then decided that she felt so close to Alec that she felt comfortable admitting that she thinks he’s a terrible actor. He took it well as a sign of trust then went on to say that he made a mold of her naked body to sell to the porn industry. Just like Alec, she took this rather well then went on to share another dark secret. This went back and forth for a few rounds until they finally threw to the first sketch.
  3. This was followed by the infamous Canteen Boy And The Scout Master sketch where Alec Baldwin tried to seduce and molests Canteen Boy while being a Scout Leader on a camping trip after the other scouts single him out to be the butt of all of their jokes which made him the perfect victim.
  4. Phillip The Hyper-Hypo then returned only this time it was Kim Basinger playing the little girl role instead of Nicole Kidman but other than that, it was still pretty much the same scene as the last but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still find it funny when all is said and done.
  5. UB40 then took to the stage to perform C'est La Vie. 
  6. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Ike Turner returned to talk about the Tonya Harding case while reassuring that he had nothing to do with it before he became abusive toward Kevin Nealon which led to their, “I’m sorry Kevin Nealon,” routine where Nealon sang Proud Marry while dressed like Tina Turner while also performing her dance.
  7. This was followed by a parody of Family Feud where the Baldwin Family took on some regular rubes from Minnesota. In the sketch, the Baldwin’s ideas on what would be considered a common answer to make the board are so far off from the common man that they can’t get a single question correct.  
  8. We then went to a fancy restaurant with Chris Farley and Julia Sweeney out on a date as two live in lovers who are nowhere near the point of getting married since Farley is such a slob. We then met the Romantic Man and his crew who both worked for the establishment to provide romance for women with less attentive men as their mates.
  9. The Adventures Of Tiny Elvis only this time it was Rob Schneider playing the tiny king who shrank down even more to become Microscopic Elvis but the jokes were still pretty much the same routine where Microscopic E liked to point out how gigantic everything is.
  10. UB40 then returned to the stage to perform Can't Help Falling In Love. 
  11. Pyramid Of Pain was an infomercial for a new diet scheme where Alec Baldwin’s character promises that he will beat you up if you overeat since he absolutely hates fat people since his father beat him as a child for being a fatso himself.
  12. Chris Farley then got a segment with Kim Basinger that was kind of like the Chris Farley show only he nervously expressed his interest in Kim while giving her flowers in her dressing room to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
  13. Finally, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger closed the show by thanking the audience and saying their goodnights.
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SNL: S19E12... HOST: PATRICK STEWART... DATE: FEBRUARY 5, 1994

SNL: S19E12... HOST: PATRICK STEWART... DATE: FEBRUARY 5, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a sketch called Operation Pedophile Not that started with the classic exterior shot from the Night At The Roxbury sketch only this being before Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan this was a bit of a misdirection. Instead, this was a sketch with Tim Meadows as Michael Jackson at a nightclub in an effort to squelch the pedophile claims that came following the case from that year which was settled out of court. In the sketch, Michael tried his hardest to come across as a heterosexual who was into adults but he can’t help but sound like a kid loving creep even when he turned to his security guard, played by Patrick Stewart, for help. Of course, this being the opening sketch it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Patrick Stewart then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he was an accomplished stage actor and is used to performing live but knows for a fact that he was selected as the host because of his role on Star Trek: The Next Generation. He then went on to rebut the myth that he didn’t know a thing about Star Trek before getting cast for the show while sharing common know show facts only the details were very far off. He then finished the routine by misquoting the opening monolog to the old Star Trek show.
  3. This was followed by a fake ad for the Philadelphia Action Figures which was a line of Star Wars-like toys based on the movie Philadelphia where Tom Hanks played a homosexual lawyer with AIDS.
  4. Mike Myers’s All Thing Scottish character finally returned to the show where after head-butting Chris Farley in the nose, Phil McCracken, Scottish Therapist stepped in to help Myers with his issues with anger only to be just as angry and violent in his therapy especially as the two got wasted on Scotch in the process as they drank their problems away.
  5. We then went to Sexy Cakes which was an erotic cake store run by Patrick Stewart who is obsessed with cakes with women going to the bathroom which doesn’t go over well with the customers who just want simple nudity which Stewart finds hard to grasp.
  6. Salt-N-Pepa then took to the stage to perform Shoop.
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, was super quick and only had Kevin Nealon doing the news.
  8. The Love Boat: The Next Generation was, of course, a parody of a new Star Trek franchise that’s been combined with a parody reboot of Love Boat. This allowed the cast to share their impressions of washed up actors from the time with a special appearance by the real Doc.
  9. This was followed by a parody of The Cosby Mysteries which was pretty much a sketch where Adam Sandler made fun of Bill Cosby’s rambling while he investigated crime scenes.
  10. We then went to Hell where Patrick Stewart played the devil who shared his plans to release his demons onto the world only to nearly choke to death on a grape where we got to see just how fragile life actually is as his near-death experience threw him off his game to where none of his minions would take him seriously as they no longer lived in fear.
  11. Salt-N-Pepa then returned to the stage to perform Whatta Man?
  12. Show And Tell With Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was a PBS Nickelodeon show that was a little too crass while teaching the children about the birds and the bees while promoting condoms. Patrick Stewart then came in as a doctor/guest to share an overly-clinical message about why the kids should avoid anal intercourse which even Joycelyn elder seems to think is going too far.
  13. It's Not Their Fault was a fake ad for a famous attorney from the time who defended a lot of the tabloid baddies who were obviously guilty of their crimes including the Menendez boys and Tonya Harding.
  14. Finally, Patrick Stewart closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E11... HOST: SARA GILBERT... DATE: JANUARY 15, 1994

SNL: S19E11... HOST: SARA GILBERT... DATE: JANUARY 15, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with John Bobbitt On Court TV which parodied the trail of this case where Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis. During the sketch, Tonya Harding got involved and beat John Wayne Bobbitt’s penis with an iron rod which then led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Sara Gilbert then officially opened the show with a monolog about how she has to be quick and to the point because she’s afraid that she might get caught hosting by one of her college professors, considering that she left Roseanne to take a break from acting while she attended college. She then made several jokes about how Roseanne had no idea that she left the show for school and that her real mom had no idea about any aspect of her life so she asked the audience to keep this appearance a secret.
  3. This was followed by a repeat of the HiberNol ad from a couple seasons ago which was a parody of a Nyquil ad only their over the counter aid was so strong that it put you down for the entire flu season in order for you to avoid feeling the sickness as many come and go while you hibernate.
  4. Roommates was a sketch that took place during the first day of school where Sara Gilbert and the girls scoped out their brand new dorm. Rob Schneider eventually joined the group where he tried to live up to the administration’s mistake by pretending to be a girl without putting in any effort to look like one. Throughout the sketch, he kept trying to convince everyone in the room to join him in the shower.
  5. Simon returned for another installment where this time the British bathtub boy was joined by Sara Gilbert and the two shared their drawings of the views that they’ve seen from their tubs as they travel.
  6. The Gap Girls also returned for some new youth/retail bashing only this time they were at the Food Court instead of the store but the routine was still pretty much the same. This one is my favorite from the series because it’s the one where Chris Farley who while playing one of the girls used his manly voice to yell, “Lay off me, I’m starving,” when the other girls question his diet.
  7. Counting Crows then took to the stage to perform 'Round Here. 
  8. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Norm MacDonald got a segment to talk about the Tonya Harding controversy while questioning whether or not anyone even watches figure skating to make the story worth following at all. Sarah Silverman also got a segment to talk about her sister’s wedding with a few jokes that felt like they were out of her stand-up routine from the time.
  9. We then got a parody of Blossom that made fun of the “Very Special Episode” sit-com trope that was overused at the time. Rather than having anything to do with comedy, these special episodes are filled with melodramatic acting while everything that can go wrong does. The matter at hand during this special episode, Blossom decided to have sex with her boyfriend for the fourth time.
  10. This was followed by the classic performance of the Lunch Lady Land song where Adam Sandler sang while Chris Farley acted out the Lunch Lady’s actions from the song.
  11. We then went to Disneyland where Sara Gilbert played a grumpy teen who just wasn’t having it at all. We then went on an African Safari for the family’s next vacation where once again, Sara Gilbert played a jerk of a teen. This led the family to let Sara Gilbert plan the next trip where they ended up in a hip drug den where everyone was making out everyone else loved it but Sara Gilbert was still not a fan. Finally, the family went to EuroDisney which was still a failure of an amusement park at the time but it was the only place that Sara Gilbert actually enjoyed.
  12. Rob Schneider's Girlfriend Theater was a sketch where Kevin Nealon and Sara Gilbert acted out one of Rob Schneider’s horrible relationships while the real Rob introduced each scene.
  13. Counting Crows then returned to the stage to perform Mr. Jones. 
  14. This was followed by a parody of 20 Questions With Bryant Gumbel where this week Bryant interviewed Sara Gilbert as herself and asked her one opening question about the show hen said why nineteen times following every one of her answers.
  15. Rob Schneider then got a quick end of the night sketch where he apologized for the things that came up during Rob Schneider's Girlfriend while hinting that his ex was super litigious.
  16. Finally, Sara Gilbert closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E10... HOST: JASON PATRIC... DATE: JANUARY 8, 1994

SNL: S19E10... HOST: JASON PATRIC... DATE: JANUARY 8, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a sketch called Andrew Giuliani Acts Up that parodied Rudolph Giuliani’s acceptance speech after winning the position of New York City’s mayor where his son was acting up in the background only in the sketch Chris Farley played the boy and went over the top with his antics leading up to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Jason Patric then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he had no idea why he was there as the host, noting that he doesn’t even like the show which lowered my expectations even more toward this host that I was already disinterested in. Of all of the host, he seemed the least interested of them all to the point where if I wasn’t watching as part of a challenge I might actually go as far as to skip this episode.
  3. The NFL On Fox was a sketch that made fun of the fact that FOX bought the rights to air NFL games which was actually a major step in making it a legitimate competitor to the other three major networks. In the sketch, the main joke was how FOX would ruin football by marketing it to the youth which was Fox’s target audience at the time. Just like in the opening monolog, our douche of a host acted like he was completely disinterested in being there.
  4. The Road To Self-Improvement was a parody of an infomercial where our uninteresting host teamed up with David Spade to promote his Self-Help system while, once again, Jason Patric played a character who refused to play along to where it was hard to tell if his bad acting was actually part of the sketch or if his acting skill were just that limited.
  5. Blind Melon then took to the stage to perform No Rain. 
  6. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Kevin Nealon slipped into his Subliminal Man character to discuss the White Watergate Scandal which led to one of the weirdest things that I’ve experienced during this challenge in that the feed I’m watching cut out the sound just for this segment but I was able to watch the full clip on the NBC.com feed.
  7. Mister Intense was a sketch where Jason Patric played the titular character that was so intense about everything that he came across as a serial killer and again was not funny at all. After a while, he eventually broke the sketch to highlight even more that he’s actually the a$$hole being portrayed.
  8. Coffee Talk then returned for another installment with Linda Richman doing her usual Coffee Talk think only this time the real-life Richard Simmons dropped in which was a nice break from having to deal with the worst host of all time.
  9. Where's The Rest Of Me? was a sketch where Jason Patric played a hand model where once again, he played an arrogant jerk who thought that he was God’s gift to the world who then got into a car accident where he then had to go on living the rest of his life minus the tip of his index finger, ruining the hand that made him a superstar.
  10. Blind Melon then returned to the show to perform Paper Scratcher. 
  11. Herlihy Boy Dog Sitting Service returned for another installment where this time Adam Sandler played the persistent young boy to beg us to allow him to watch our dogs while Chris Farley played his father to reassure us that his boy could handle the job by using an aggressive tone to beg us to give his boy a shot. The sketch was eventually ruined when Jason Patric stepped in to add his unfunny note to the otherwise funny joke.
  12. Ski Lift was a sketch where our horrible host got stuck on a ski with Kevin Nealon where the two got stuck into a nightmare of a loop of small talk.
  13. Finally, Jason Patric closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E09... HOST: SALLY FIELD... DATE: DECEMBER 11, 1993

SNL: S19E09... HOST: SALLY FIELD... DATE: DECEMBER 11, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Adam Sandler singing his Christmas Song about the year that Santa didn’t give him presents because he was a bad boy… and a Jew, which ended with his announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Sally Field then officially opened the show with a monolog that started with a quick plug for the movie Mrs. Doubtfire before confirming that it was the Christmas episode and sharing her concerns that the show would make fun of some of her old projects from the past like The Flying Nun, Gidget, and Smokey And The Bandit which led to a disappointed cast who were already dressed and ready to parody each of these pieces as she said no. Of course, it ended with Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds who just wouldn’t leave until she suggested that they make fun of her movie Cybil since she took no issue in making fun of the insane. It was this line that “Burt Reynolds” took as a personal jab, which left Sally Field all alone to throw to the opening fake ad.
  3. This was followed by a repeat of the NCI Long Distance ad from earlier this season with David Spade as the long distance pitchman who over-promises on the phone company’s ability to meet every single one of its customers' needs.
  4. I Want My Baby Back! was a parody of a TV movie of the week where Sally Field freaked out after giving birth when her baby was taken to the nursery only nothing else really happened. We then cut to her apartment where she got fired after turning down sexual advances from her boss. The moment that she shut the door behind her bosses back, child protective services came and took the baby away since she didn’t have a job. We then went to a mellow dramatic courtroom scene where Field managed to win her baby back, only the nurse from earlier then rushed in to inform everyone that she actually mixed up her baby at the nursey so once again the baby was taken away. They then found the right baby and fixed the mistake only to have the baby taken away once again from the baby’s father who was living in Pakistan. We then cut to another courtroom scene only this time in Pakistan where the judge couldn’t care less about this woman’s plea so had her locked away. We then learned through a text/narrator update of the convoluted tale of continued convoluted mix-ups throughout the rest of this baby’s life.
  5. This was followed by a fake ad for White Diamonds Perfume By Elizabeth Taylor where there is so much blur added to her parts in the ad to hide her age that she could barely be seen at all.
  6. Tony! Toni! Tone! then took to the stage to perform If I Had No Loot. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Tim Meadows dropped in as David Dinkins to vow revenge on New Yorkers for not reelecting him as city’s mayor.
  8. Headgames was a game show sketch with Phil Hartman as the host who psychologically screwed with the family members who he had on as contestants.
  9. This was followed by Matt Foley: Motivational Santa where Chris Farley’s motivational character returned only this time as a mall Santa to warn the children about how they can end up, “LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER,” if they are not good boys and girls.
  10. Crab Lice Singles’ Club Mixer was as the title implies a sketch that took place as a singles’ club for people who all have crabs which allows everyone to freely discuss their affliction.
  11. We then got a repeat of the Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey sketch from last season where Jack suggested what to do if you were ever to drop your keys into lava.
  12. Norm MacDonald then played Dr. Jack Kevorkian to remind us of his suicide machine during this depressing time of year before he pitched his new product, the suicide attempt machine that worked the same way as the real deal machine only the doses were lowered to the point where you could use it for your cry for help without actually having to die.
  13. This was followed by another Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey where Jack shares advice on how to deal with an incoming grenade during a war.
  14. Tony! Toni! Tone! then returned to the show to perform Tell Me Mama.
  15. Pious Housewife was a sketch where Sally Field played a religious mother who had to pray over every single decision throughout her day which led Jesus to come down from heaven to tell her to tone it down.
  16. We then got yet another Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey where Jack shared his reasoning for thinking that Santa and Superman were actually the same person.
  17. Finally, Sally Field closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E08... HOST: CHARLTON HESTON... DATE: DECEMBER 4, 1993

SNL: S19E08... HOST: CHARLTON HESTON... DATE: DECEMBER 4, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a sketch called Studio Of The Apes where the SNL cast and crew got replaced by apes to parody The Planet Of The Apes movies in honor of this week’s host, Charlton Heston. We also got to see a Richmeister sketch acted out by these ape-men before Heston got captured, leading to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. After seeing an ape parody of the opening montage, Charlton Heston was then brought to the man stage by his ape captors where he officially opened the show with a monolog to an audience filled with apes. After a few cliché opening jokes Heston eventually took questions from the ape crowd who were mainly confused by this human.
  3. This was followed by a fake ad for the Infiniti Q45 Toilet which parodied an Infiniti car ad campaign that was going on at the time where the main joke seemed to be that it was a high end branded toilet with a new streamlined design.
  4. Coffee Talk then returned for another installment where once again, host Linda Richman did her usual thing before introducing Charlton Heston who played an Irish ex-cop who became her new boyfriend, who kept attempting to use all of Linda’s Yiddish terms only she kept getting annoyed when he couldn’t get the accent correct and sounded like a real goyim.  
  5. We then got a second installment of the fake ad for the Infiniti Q45 Toilet that continued to parody the Infinity car ad campaign from that time, this time highlighting the non-stick finish that allows poop and pee to just slide right off.
  6. This was followed by a fake ad for a compilation album called Gangsta Rap Dance Smashes! Which is a collection of Gangsta Rap that was being marked to the whitest of white people even though most of the songs where very threatening against whites and if not where about life in the hood which it was clear that no one in this ad could relate to.
  7. The President Is Illiterate was a parody of a prime-time special following a line of similar style specials with much more serious themes but were still too glamorized to be real.
  8. Paul Westerberg then took to the stage to perform Knockin' On Mine where the song seemed to randomly stop before the band was done playing but it turned out to be a weird edit to cut out a long guitar solo to save time for the Comedy Central replays. 
  9. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, David Spade dropped in for another Hollywood Minute where once again he made fun of the celebrities who were making the tabloid headlines.
  10. King Solomon Junior High Career Day was a sketch that took place back in biblical days where the school kids got to learn several of their future employment options as several of the villagers dropped in to talk about their work. These jobs included a shepherd, the town leper, a centurion, a concubine girl, and finish with a false prophet who is very open about the fact that he’s fake.
  11. This was followed by a third installment of the fake ad for the Infiniti Q45 Toilet that continued the parody Infiniti car ad campaign this time highlighting the cup holder.
  12. NRA Five-Day Loaner Program was a joke of a program that offered almost a payday loan of a gun that allowed people in need a loaner handgun to use during the newly introduced five-day screening process before anyone could buy a handgun of their own.
  13. Charlton Heston then played an old grocery store Bag Man who was growing to become a bit senile as he suggested that customers steal products that they not sure if they’ll actually like. When the manager dropped by to check on the old man after a different mistake he scared said manager of with a thinly veiled threat to his life which turned out to be the reoccurring joke of the sketch.
  14. Paul Westerberg then returned to the stage to perform Can't Hardly Wait. 
  15. Behind Moses' Back was a sketch that showed what the people were saying behind Moses’s back while he was atop the mountain getting The Ten Commandments and how the main troublemaker defended himself when Moses got back.
  16. Herlihy Boy House-Sitting Service was a sketch that featured the Adam Sandler character who seems a little simple as he desperately begs people to give him work as a house-sitter while over promising that he won’t mess things up. Not only does he beg but Chris Farley plays his father who vouches for his son in the same desperate tones.  
  17. Finally, Charlton Heston closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E07... HOST: NICOLE KIDMAN... DATE: NOVEMBER 20, 1993

SNL: S19E07... HOST: NICOLE KIDMAN... DATE: NOVEMBER 20, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with another installment of Wayne's World where the two basement dwelling cable access hosts shared what they did on Halloween before going on to talk about the latest movies that they’ve seen with mini-reviews of the new releases from the time. This is the sketch the introduced the world to Wayne doing his “I’m the Leprechaun,” routine. Of course, this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Nicole Kidman then officially opened the show with a monolog where she admitted to being married to Tom Cruise before reassuring the audience that she can handle hosting the show without him which then led to questions from the audience that were all about her superstar of a husband while treating her like they had low expectations for her as the host without him. To reassure that audience that he was not needed, Kidman then reenacted his famous Risky Business scene by sliding across the stage in her socks and underwear to the song Old Time Rock And Roll.  
  3. The Denise Show then returned for another installment with the Shannen Doherty obsessed host played by Adam Sandler who continues to obsess over his long gone girlfriend while taking calls from other obsessed men. Eventually, he brought out Nicole Kidman who played Denise’s best friend who turned out to be interested in Sandler which brought an end to the need for the show.
  4. Phillip The Hyper-Hypo was the classic sketch where Mike Myers played a hyperactive kid who tied to impress a child Nicole Kidman while being chained to the playground equipment so that he will not run away. After a while, Kidman gave him some chocolate which pushed him over the hyperactive edge to where he had super-human strength, giving him the power to run off with the playground equipment still strapped to his back.
  5. Stone Temple Pilots then took to the stage to perform Creep. 
  6. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, “Ike Turner” returned to talk about claims of voter fraud in a recent New Jersey election only to end up Ike getting abusive before delivering his famous, “I’m sorry Kevin Nealon” line. Adam Sandler also dropped in as Bruce Springsteen to sing Adam Sandler’s Thanksgiving Song.
  7. Sprockets also returned for another installment with host Dieter where he and his guest played Das Ist Jeopardy which of course was a crazy German parody of the Jeopardy game with Dieter as the host and Julia Sweeney as a woman strapped to an electrocution device that zapped her whenever the contestants got any of their questions wrong.
  8. Married Woman In A Bar was exactly as the title suggests, a sketch that took place in a bar where Melanie Hutsell overused the excuse that she was already taken oblivious to the fact that no one was interested in her in the first place while she introduced her new neighbor, Nicole Kidman to this establishment as a potential place to meet men, even though Kidman doesn’t really have a problem in the man meeting department.
  9. We then got A Message From Ross Perot where he shared his plan to get rid of the Congressmen who voted to implement NAFTA while they made him look crazy for thinking this still controversial policy was actually not that great of a deal.
  10. Kitchen Arguments was again as the title suggest as sketch where a couple kept sneaking to the kitchen to argue during dinner then went on to scream and shout loud enough that their guest can hear it all, only to act like everything was perfectly fine upon their return to the dining room.
  11. Stone Temple Pilots then returned to the stage to perform Naked Sunday. 
  12. This was followed by a repeat of the Crystal Gravy commercial from earlier in the season which parody of the Crystal Clear Pepsi, only in gravy form.
  13. Finally, Nicole Kidman closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S19E06... HOST: ROSIE O'DONNELL... DATE: NOVEMBER 13, 1993

SNL: S19E06... HOST: ROSIE O'DONNELL... DATE: NOVEMBER 13, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a sketch about The Packwood Diaries where Phil Hartman played Senator Bob Packwood to parody a self-dictated diary entry into a mini tape recorder about his sexual harassment/assault exploits that he was involved in throughout the day as if he was fully entitled and that the women actually wanted this attention from such a powerful man. Of course, this being the opening sketch it eventually built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Rosie O'Donnell then officially opened the show with a monolog about how happy she is to host as a native New Yorker before going on to promote all of her recent films. She then went on to claim how none of this success has changed her only to be interrupted by a cellphone call from Madonna, who was her best friend at the time. She then went on to take questions from the audience who humbled her right away by confusing her with other girls her size who were successful around that time, ending of Dave Attell confusing her for Cindy Crawford which led Rosie to quit while the getting was good.
  3. This was followed by a segment that was introduced by the real Casey Kasem who introduced behind the scenes footage of the making of the Frank Sinatra: Duets album that was near the top of his top hits list at the time. The behind the scenes footage was another chance for the cast to impersonate various famous musical performers from the time while Phil Hartman portrayed the blue-eyed curmudgeon.
  4. Mexican Stereotype was a fake Anti-NAFTA political ad that shared the conservative view of how excited Mexicans were about the policies because not only would they be getting all of our jobs but they would be taking our women as well, leaving us with nothing but street merchant jobs in exchange.
  5. Daily Affirmation then returned for another installment where host, Stuart Smalley, tried to mend the mental wounds between Lorena and John Wayne Bobbitt following the incident where she cut off his penis and throw it out her car window while treating the whole ordeal as if it were a common spat. The sketch ended with Stuart getting Lorena to apologize to John Wayne’s penis.
  6. Phil Hartman's Real Views was a follow up sketch to the Anti-NAFTA sketch from earlier in the night where Phil Hartman rebutted the Anti-NAFTA ad by claiming that NAFTA would actually create more jobs for Americans which would allow us to “stick it to those Mexicans” by making things even worse South of the border while claiming that Canada will not be safe from our reach either.  
  7. James Taylor then took to the stage to perform Memphis and the song Slap Leather back to back.
  8. Once again, Kevin Nealon then gave us the news. This week, Mike Myers portrayed the Canadian Prime Minister to add his two cents on the controversial NAFTA deal who was apparently also against it. Opera Man also dropped in to sing a tune about the top stories of the week.  
  9. Kevin Nealon then returned for a sketch where he played a Forgetful Waiter who could not remember Rosie O’Donnell and Phil Hartman’s order even though he worked at a restaurant where the waiters were supposed to be trained well enough not to have to write things down, ruining the couple’s lunch break meal since they were both pressed for time.
  10. The Tomboy And The Sissy was a sketch where Rosie played the titular tomboy with David Spade in the sissy role where the two gave each other pointers on how to better live up to the expected gender roles in an effort to fit in only to end up the best of friends. That is until Rosie beats up Spade in order to impress the jock she was interested in who was pissed at Spade for stealing his spot as the Quarterback after she trained him out to throw. Only it turned out that she didn’t actually beat him up but instead he used his makeup expertise to create a fake black-eye in order to keep the façade alive.
  11. James Taylor then returned to the stage to perform Secret O' Life.
  12. David Spade then revisited his character of Dick Clark’s arrogant receptionist during The Malibu Fires only now he is working as a volunteer assistant to the firemen who will not let anyone into the gated community no matter how famous they are or whether or not their houses were in danger of being burnt down.
  13. We then got a Schiller's Reel silent short film called Will Work For Food with Norm MacDonald as a homeless man carrying a cardboard signs asking for food in exchange for work and gets picked up by a strange but rich man and given tons of paperwork to fill out as well as various other tasks to complete in exchange for a simple hot dog which he shared with a homeless friend.
  14. Homegirls a sketch where half the girls from the cast played urban girls who got invited to a party held by the preppy girls who were played by the second half of the female cast but the urban girls don’t want to go and there is no change which led me to miss what was supposed to be the joke.
  15. Finally, Rosie O'Donnell closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S19E05... HOST: CHRISTIAN SLATER... DATE: OCTOBER 30, 1993

SNL: S19E05... HOST: CHRISTIAN SLATER... DATE: OCTOBER 30, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with another installment of Coffee Talk where host Linda Richman announced that it was her Halloween show before she went into her usual routine as she built up to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Christian Slater then officially opened the show with a monolog where he dressed like a pirate to celebrate Halloween then walked around the backstage area to trick-or-treat the cast and the crew in an effort to keep the show festive. No one backstage is prepared with any treats so instead of candy he gets random items that just happen to be near while everyone seems annoyed by his antics. That is until Chris Farley gets involved who is dressed as a pumpkin and has tons of candy that he got from the audience, making him and the host seem like the only two that were excited about tonight’s show, which you may already know the lack of enthusiasm is a major pet peeve of mine, even when it’s an obvious joke.
  3. We then got a repeat of the fake ad for Mmmph? from last season which was a board game where players have to guess the answers to questions when their only clues are the question asker’s tone of mmmphing and ahhhing as the guesser gets either further or closer to accidentally stumbling onto the right guess.
  4. Matt Foley then returned for another motivational speech, this time to correct the kids about them taking their Halloween pranks too far. This was almost a repeat of the last visit, only it also involved a scary story that ended with Foley ending up in “A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.”
  5. Sassy's Sassiest Boys also returned for another installment where this time Phil Hartman interviewed Christian Slater as himself as well as “Joey Lawrence,” and “Andrew McCarthy” as the sassiest of the sassy Hollywood stars.
  6. Smashing Pumpkins then took to the stage to perform Cherub Rock. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Queen Shenequa dropped in to complain about Whoopi Goldberg over her reaction to the Ted Danza blackface controversy after Whoopi said a few weird things in his defense that didn’t really help the situation at all. Adam Sandler also dropped in as himself once again to share more last minute ideas for Halloween costumes which mainly consists of him grabbing whatever item is nearest to him and saying, “Look, I’m crazy (fill in the blank) guy!”
  8. We then met with a group of high schoolers for a sketch called Naming The Band that was reminiscent of a much older sketch where the member of the group were more interested in coming up with concepts for their video before even had their first song, only this time it’s the band name they’re focused on before they even know if they actually have a band that worth naming at all.
  9. You Put Your Weed In It also returned where once again Rob Schneider played the hippie souvenir shop owner showed his customers where they could hide their weed in any product they considered for purchase. This was almost an exact replay as the last installment only this time Christian Slater joined in as the store’s customer support.
  10. The Vallencourt Boys was a show for New Englanders By New Englanders where Adam Sandler and Kevin Nealon made fun of the New England accent while hosting a cable access call-in show where the callers also had over the top New England accents which was the main source of humor in the sketch. After quite a while of accent jokes, they eventually introduced Christian Slater who played a smart Harvard kid but the other two just made fun of him for being a nerd.
  11. Smashing Pumpkins then returned to the stage to perform Today. 
  12. Joke Headlines was a sketch that took place in a novelty headline store where Christian Slater played a bitter writer who hates his customers because he would rather be writing real headlines instead of the novelty papers being requested. He was such a jerk to all of his clients that he eventually got shot by Chris Farley after getting a mean headline as a gift in the mail.
  13. Trent Markham, Lung Doctor took place in the black and white day, back when smoking was still looked at as healthy with Phil Hartman as the titular doctor who supposed to be the best lung doctor in the world even though he can’t connect that all of the lung issues going on stem from every single person in the scene’s chain-smoking ways.
  14. Finally, Christian Slater closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E04... HOST: JOHN MALKOVICH... DATE: OCTOBER 23, 1993

SNL: S19E04... HOST: JOHN MALKOVICH... DATE: OCTOBER 23, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody coverage of The World Series that took place up in Canada because the Toronto Blue Jays made it that year. In the sketch Anne Murray sang the Canadian National Anthem while the players for the Philadelphia Phillies seemed bored and disrespectful and the did nothing but chew and spit tobacco throughout the entire song until eventually, they all spit a steam of chew that drenched Anne Murray as she finished up and while covered in goo, announced, “Live from New York…”  
  2. John Malkovich then officially closed the show with a monolog where he promoted the movie In The Line Of Fire before going into a bit of a routine about baseball being that the World Series was going on at the time. After a few drawn out awkward words, he grabbed a baseball bat while claiming he used to be really good at baseball when he was a kid and then went on to attempt to hit a few balls only he was aiming directly at the crowd. After missing every single ball he then went into a violent rage and smashed the baseball holder with his bat while David Spade took to the stage to throw to the start of the show.
  3. We then got a fake ad for the McIntosh Post-It Notes which was a Post-It note sized PDA that allowed you to post notes on this tiny digital device that I somewhat surprised hasn’t been actually made. Both the device and the style of the ad are so spot on while watching through modern eye it felt more real than funny.
  4. This was followed by a parody of CourtTV coverage that followed the Menendez Brother Trial where John Malkovich played the older brother and Rob Schneider as the young one who claimed it was their two other brothers who actually killed their parents. The problem is that these other brothers don’t actually exist but that didn’t stop them from trying to pull it off by continually trading shirts to disguise themselves as this second set of murderous brothers.
  5. Ruining It For Everyone was a talk show hosted by Julia Sweeney where she interviewed the idiots who ruined fun things for everyone else because of their poor decision. In the sketch we met the man who accidentally dropped razors into a batch of fudge which ruined trick-or-treating, a woman who used to steal gas which led to the pay before you pump policy, John Malkovich who ruined hitchhiking for everyone after a killing spree, the guy who made it so that you have to get a key to use the bathroom and the guy who inspired the two drink minimum. The funny thing was that all of these examples were treated equally with no one saying a word about sitting next to a mass murderer.
  6. Billy Joel then took to the stage to perform The River of Dreams. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Kevin slipped into his Subliminal Man character to discuss the controversy over Ted Danson showing up to Whoopi Goldberg’s Roast wearing blackface thinking it was safe because they were a couple at the time. Chris Farley also dropped in as John Kruk to defend the claims that the Phillies were a bunch of fat lazy slobs only to end up feeling bummed out when he learned that he missed the final game thanks to his disorganized life.
  8. Theatre Stories then returned after a long hiatus where Mike Myers as host shared stories with a panel of old stage actors who are all reaching the point of becoming senile.   
  9. We then got a parody of In The Line of Fire where John Malkovich revisited his role from the movie to make fun of the scene where he made a threatening call to Kevin Costner’s character only he kept getting the wrong telephone number and had to restart his threats over and over again. By the time he finally got the right person, he’d lost off of his confidence and couldn’t keep up the threatening tone.
  10. This followed by another Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey where Jack pondered how easy it is to do nothing but sit back and do nothing while wanting more money in your mind.
  11. This was followed by a parody of Disney's: Of Mice And Men where again John Malkovich revisited his role as Lenny in the telling of the story where there are two Lennys after marketing research found that audiences weren’t a huge fan of George. Lenny number two was played by Chris Farley and the two end up going on an accidental killing spree of puppies since there is no George to keep him in line. After accidentally killing the dogs they go on to accidentally kill the love interest from the real story as well as her new sister character. At the end of the sketch, it’s revealed that Farley is actually like Lenny and accidentally killed Jan Hooks which led Lorne to have to put him down while telling him tales about his future film career.
  12. Billy Joel then returned to the stage to perform All About Soul. 
  13. We then went to the White House for a sketch called Carville's Visit where John Malkovich played James Carville who dropped by to try and talk Hilary running for president since she was getting all of the credit for all of Bill’s successes while Bill was getting blamed for the mistakes like his dealings with Somalia, Bosnia, and Haiti.
  14. Finally, John Malkovich closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E03... HOST: JEFF GOLDBLUM... DATE: OCTOBER 9, 1993

SNL: S19E03... HOST: JEFF GOLDBLUM... DATE: OCTOBER 9, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with another parody of a Farm Aid style song called Rock For Michael which allowed the cast to impersonate musicians from the time as they attempted to get Michael Jordan to rethink retiring while he was at the peak of his fame. As always, this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Jeff Goldblum then officially opened the show with a monolog about his summer while promoting his latest movie which was a little film called Jurassic Park. He then went on to joke about all the other film that the movie beat in the box office before getting cut off by members of the audience who thought the dinosaurs were actually real. 
  3. We then got a repeat of the fake ad for Nerf Crotch bats from last season which was an ad for a nerf bat designed for hitting people in the crotch.
  4. Subway Guitarist was, as the title suggests, a sketch that took place in the subway where Rob Schneider played a subway musician who gets offended when anyone tips him money because he claims that he’s not a beggar and is doing it for the art, only the songs that he sings contradict his claims that he’s actually doing okay.
  5. We then went to Fulton County Stadium for a playoff game where Jeff Goldblum played a character who was obsessed with starting The Wave and then expected praise and credit for the obnoxious form of fan participation only no one cares being that they are more interested in the game.
  6. Aerosmith then took to the stage to perform Cryin'. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Ellen Cleghorne dropped in for a segment to discuss the latest conflict in Somalia and how she could capture the warlord we were after because foreign guys are drawn to her like a magnet. Norm MacDonald also made his news debut to do what must be his favorite routine about how his biggest fear in prison isn’t actually the loss of freedom, no, he’s more concerned with the anal rape that’s involved which was later acted out in his movie Dirty Work.
  8. We then went to a Dance Club where we witnessed Jeff Goldblum reveal that he is the worst dancer in the world to the point where everyone in the club laughs at his every move while his girlfriend keeps telling him that he’s just being paranoid. His dancing is so bad that the band eventual had to stop their performance to check in to see if he’s okay. Even though he continued to be self-conscious his girlfriend continued to egg him on even if the other patrons are mocking him in front of his face.
  9. Jeff Goldblum, as himself, then went to Karl's Video Store to rent some porn. As hard as he tries to tries to fly under the radar and sneak in and out, David Spade played the obnoxious cashier who talked so loud that everyone in the store got to overhear the selections of films that he chose.
  10. We then went to a garage sale where Canteen Boy made his return to the show where everyone made fun of him openly even though he was too naive to pick up on any of the jokes that were made at his expense.
  11. Aerosmith then returned to the stage to perform Sweet Emotion. 
  12. Christopher Walken's Celebrity Psychic Friends Network was a parody of the Psychic Friends Network that Dione Warwick used to pitch only with Jay Mohr playing the psychic pitchman.
  13. History's Great Over-Thinkers was a talk show sketch hosted by Jeff Goldblum who interviewed famous Over-Thinkers throughout history only he overthinks who he should start the interview off with, which ended up taking all of the segments time so no one other than Goldblum got to speak at all.
  14. Finally, Jeff Goldblum closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S19E02... HOST: SHANNEN DOHERTY... DATE: OCTOBER 2, 1993

SNL: S19E02... HOST: SHANNEN DOHERTY...  DATE: OCTOBER 2, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Phil Hartman announcing a sketch where Opera Man Plays The Scratch Lottery while singing a tune about the process only to end up one matching item off from winning a million dollars. Of course, this being the opening sketch it eventually built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Shannen Doherty then officially opened the show with a monolog about how she just got married and went on to share a prerecorded sketch of “home video footage” of her wedding reception where she got into physical altercations with all of her guests as if she were actually the crazy bitch that she portrayed on 90210.
  3. This was followed by the classic Crystal Clear Pepsi parody ad that pushed a clear gravy called Crystal Gravy.
  4. We then got a parody of The Real World that made fun of the opening warning that the show was going to be real to the point where it might be hard to stomach. They then went on to introduce the cast highlighting how each housemate was paired up with their polar opposite to create conflict that is by design and nowhere close to the reality that the opening warning promised.
  5. The Denise Show then made its debut where Adam Sandler hosted a cable access show devoted to Shannen Doherty, AKA Denise, who broke up with him five weeks ago and he desperate to win her back and thinks this show will win her over.
  6. Cypress Hill then took to the stage to perform Insane In The Brain. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Rob Schneider dropped in for a new segment called Wacky Moments In Sports that aren’t actually wacky at all even though Schneider made it seem so, thanks to his over the top commentary. Tim Meadow also introduced his Ike Turner impersonation to talk about the new Clinton Health Care Plan while being abusive to our top news anchor which led to the introduction the, “I’m sorry Kevin Nealon,” routine that I’ve always been a huge fan of.
  8. Is It Date Rape? was a game show sketch with Phil Hartman as host to quiz college students as to what is and isn’t considered date rape after sharing questionable scenarios. The contestants involved are Chris Farley and Shannen Doherty with Farley feeling that every example is safe and Doherty thinking that everything is date rape even when there’s no sex involved and the scenario in genuinely innocent.
  9. Chris Farley then introduced The Relapse Guy for a family intervention. At first, it seems like he’s serious about his sobriety only to fall off the wagon right away and went back to his drinking ways only to end up in another intervention. Knowing the future of Farley this sketch was way more sad that it was funny.
  10. Noah And Frans took place in Shannen Doherty’s dressing room with Mike Myer and Tim Meadow playing the hair, make-up, and costume team who got her ready for the next sketch. I don’t know if the humor was supposed to come from these two characters being gay but now that it’s an acceptable lifestyle there didn’t seem to be any real jokes. In fact, the two characters are actually portrayed in such a non-offensive way that through modern eye there was nothing interesting about this sketch at all which is a nice sign that we’re making progress.  
  11. Salem Bitch Trials was, of course, a parody of the Salem Witch Trails only Shannen Doherty was on trial for being a bitch in a room full of angry men and women who couldn’t stand a strong female since all of her actions were valid efforts of her trying to speak her mind.
  12. Cypress Hill then returned to the stage to perform I Ain't Goin' Out Like That which they started by smoking a joint on live TV. 
  13. A Message From Michael Eisner was a sketch where the CEO of Disney tried to reassure foreign guest that Disney World is still safe despite a rise in violent crimes against foreign travelers that took place in Miami around that time.
  14. Finally, Shannen Doherty closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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