SNL: S19E09... HOST: SALLY FIELD... DATE: DECEMBER 11, 1993

SNL: S19E09... HOST: SALLY FIELD... DATE: DECEMBER 11, 1993

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Adam Sandler singing his Christmas Song about the year that Santa didn’t give him presents because he was a bad boy… and a Jew, which ended with his announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Sally Field then officially opened the show with a monolog that started with a quick plug for the movie Mrs. Doubtfire before confirming that it was the Christmas episode and sharing her concerns that the show would make fun of some of her old projects from the past like The Flying Nun, Gidget, and Smokey And The Bandit which led to a disappointed cast who were already dressed and ready to parody each of these pieces as she said no. Of course, it ended with Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds who just wouldn’t leave until she suggested that they make fun of her movie Cybil since she took no issue in making fun of the insane. It was this line that “Burt Reynolds” took as a personal jab, which left Sally Field all alone to throw to the opening fake ad.
  3. This was followed by a repeat of the NCI Long Distance ad from earlier this season with David Spade as the long distance pitchman who over-promises on the phone company’s ability to meet every single one of its customers' needs.
  4. I Want My Baby Back! was a parody of a TV movie of the week where Sally Field freaked out after giving birth when her baby was taken to the nursery only nothing else really happened. We then cut to her apartment where she got fired after turning down sexual advances from her boss. The moment that she shut the door behind her bosses back, child protective services came and took the baby away since she didn’t have a job. We then went to a mellow dramatic courtroom scene where Field managed to win her baby back, only the nurse from earlier then rushed in to inform everyone that she actually mixed up her baby at the nursey so once again the baby was taken away. They then found the right baby and fixed the mistake only to have the baby taken away once again from the baby’s father who was living in Pakistan. We then cut to another courtroom scene only this time in Pakistan where the judge couldn’t care less about this woman’s plea so had her locked away. We then learned through a text/narrator update of the convoluted tale of continued convoluted mix-ups throughout the rest of this baby’s life.
  5. This was followed by a fake ad for White Diamonds Perfume By Elizabeth Taylor where there is so much blur added to her parts in the ad to hide her age that she could barely be seen at all.
  6. Tony! Toni! Tone! then took to the stage to perform If I Had No Loot. 
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Tim Meadows dropped in as David Dinkins to vow revenge on New Yorkers for not reelecting him as city’s mayor.
  8. Headgames was a game show sketch with Phil Hartman as the host who psychologically screwed with the family members who he had on as contestants.
  9. This was followed by Matt Foley: Motivational Santa where Chris Farley’s motivational character returned only this time as a mall Santa to warn the children about how they can end up, “LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER,” if they are not good boys and girls.
  10. Crab Lice Singles’ Club Mixer was as the title implies a sketch that took place as a singles’ club for people who all have crabs which allows everyone to freely discuss their affliction.
  11. We then got a repeat of the Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey sketch from last season where Jack suggested what to do if you were ever to drop your keys into lava.
  12. Norm MacDonald then played Dr. Jack Kevorkian to remind us of his suicide machine during this depressing time of year before he pitched his new product, the suicide attempt machine that worked the same way as the real deal machine only the doses were lowered to the point where you could use it for your cry for help without actually having to die.
  13. This was followed by another Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey where Jack shares advice on how to deal with an incoming grenade during a war.
  14. Tony! Toni! Tone! then returned to the show to perform Tell Me Mama.
  15. Pious Housewife was a sketch where Sally Field played a religious mother who had to pray over every single decision throughout her day which led Jesus to come down from heaven to tell her to tone it down.
  16. We then got yet another Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey where Jack shared his reasoning for thinking that Santa and Superman were actually the same person.
  17. Finally, Sally Field closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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