SNL: S19E12... HOST: PATRICK STEWART... DATE: FEBRUARY 5, 1994

SNL: S19E12... HOST: PATRICK STEWART... DATE: FEBRUARY 5, 1994

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a sketch called Operation Pedophile Not that started with the classic exterior shot from the Night At The Roxbury sketch only this being before Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan this was a bit of a misdirection. Instead, this was a sketch with Tim Meadows as Michael Jackson at a nightclub in an effort to squelch the pedophile claims that came following the case from that year which was settled out of court. In the sketch, Michael tried his hardest to come across as a heterosexual who was into adults but he can’t help but sound like a kid loving creep even when he turned to his security guard, played by Patrick Stewart, for help. Of course, this being the opening sketch it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
  2. Patrick Stewart then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he was an accomplished stage actor and is used to performing live but knows for a fact that he was selected as the host because of his role on Star Trek: The Next Generation. He then went on to rebut the myth that he didn’t know a thing about Star Trek before getting cast for the show while sharing common know show facts only the details were very far off. He then finished the routine by misquoting the opening monolog to the old Star Trek show.
  3. This was followed by a fake ad for the Philadelphia Action Figures which was a line of Star Wars-like toys based on the movie Philadelphia where Tom Hanks played a homosexual lawyer with AIDS.
  4. Mike Myers’s All Thing Scottish character finally returned to the show where after head-butting Chris Farley in the nose, Phil McCracken, Scottish Therapist stepped in to help Myers with his issues with anger only to be just as angry and violent in his therapy especially as the two got wasted on Scotch in the process as they drank their problems away.
  5. We then went to Sexy Cakes which was an erotic cake store run by Patrick Stewart who is obsessed with cakes with women going to the bathroom which doesn’t go over well with the customers who just want simple nudity which Stewart finds hard to grasp.
  6. Salt-N-Pepa then took to the stage to perform Shoop.
  7. Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, was super quick and only had Kevin Nealon doing the news.
  8. The Love Boat: The Next Generation was, of course, a parody of a new Star Trek franchise that’s been combined with a parody reboot of Love Boat. This allowed the cast to share their impressions of washed up actors from the time with a special appearance by the real Doc.
  9. This was followed by a parody of The Cosby Mysteries which was pretty much a sketch where Adam Sandler made fun of Bill Cosby’s rambling while he investigated crime scenes.
  10. We then went to Hell where Patrick Stewart played the devil who shared his plans to release his demons onto the world only to nearly choke to death on a grape where we got to see just how fragile life actually is as his near-death experience threw him off his game to where none of his minions would take him seriously as they no longer lived in fear.
  11. Salt-N-Pepa then returned to the stage to perform Whatta Man?
  12. Show And Tell With Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was a PBS Nickelodeon show that was a little too crass while teaching the children about the birds and the bees while promoting condoms. Patrick Stewart then came in as a doctor/guest to share an overly-clinical message about why the kids should avoid anal intercourse which even Joycelyn elder seems to think is going too far.
  13. It's Not Their Fault was a fake ad for a famous attorney from the time who defended a lot of the tabloid baddies who were obviously guilty of their crimes including the Menendez boys and Tonya Harding.
  14. Finally, Patrick Stewart closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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