The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with another installment of The Ladies Man where Leon Phelps attempted to introduce his new game show, Who Wants To Be My Skank? The game that had more of a Dating Game setup that had special guests, Sarah Michelle Geller, Gina Gershon and Florence Henderson answer kinky questions as they vied to be The Ladies Man summer fling for the year. Eventually, Florence Henderson won after a joke about liking anal penetration which then led to a group announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Jackie Chan then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he was excited to be there because it was the first time he’d ever been asked to host anything which also made him a bit nervous. He then went on to claim that he was the first action star to host SNL. Before he could get much further Will Ferrell as Steven Seagal interrupted to point out how he hosted the show close to a decade before Mr. Chan. Jackie then told Seagal that his movies are all jokes making him more of a comedian than an action star. Seagal then whimpered off only to be replaced by Chris Kattan as Jean-Claude Van Damme and then Horatio Sanz as some obscure Asian action hero who both just wanted to intimidate this week’s host. Finally, a guy from the audience stood, claiming to be Ralph Macchio’s makeup guy during The Karate Kid who then rushed the stage to get in a quick kung-fu fight.
Nick Burns, Your Company Computer Guy then returned with Jimmy Fallon as the arrogant IT guy informed the idiots from his work that Jackie Chan would be filling in for him while he was out on vacation. Where Nick Burns was more of an arrogant jerk, Jackie was more of a jokester who was just as full of himself but delivered all of his insults with a smile and a laugh.
The Culps also returned with Ana Gasteyer and Will Ferrell as the singing instructors who sing pop hits from the time in their unique Culps’ style, this time while attending a junior high school’s Renaissance Festival.
TV Funhouse then gave us an animation behind-the-scenes look at the filming of Madonna’s recent American Pie music video, which kept getting interrupted by fans who got exponentially more explicit with their request for celebrity interaction starting with an autograph seeker and ending with a hillbilly couple trying to kickstart a three-way.
The Zimmermanns also got another installment with Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan as the annoying couple who can’t control their public displays of affection. As usual, this really confused the couple they ended up on an impromptu a double date with who just wanted to play mini-golf. Jackie Chan and Molly Shannon played the second couple and of course, as always, everything eventually went awry when Jackie Chan misread Cheri Oteri’s blatant but unintended highly sexual flirting.
Legends In Concert was a sketch that brought us to a concert filled with rock legend impersonators which included Jackie Chan’s horrible attempt to imitate Elvis. Musical guest, Kid Rock wrapped up the event as Jerry Lee Lewis after announcing that he had just married his fourteen-year-old cousin with Joe C. playing the little girl.
Once again, Colin Quinn gave us the news. This week, Darrell Hammond dropped in as basketball coach Bobby Knight who was there to defend his latest anger induced incident where he attempted to coach one of his players and was barely able to keep his composure while sharing how he had changed.
Kid Rock then took to the stage to perform American Bad Ass.
Pretty Living was another sketch to return for another installment and as always, Ana Gasteyer’s first guest was Molly Shannon’s joyologist character, who then brought on Jackie Chan as her new lover/aerobics instructor, while repeatedly saying her catchphrase, “I love it, I love it, I love it,” as she described how they met.
We then went to a laundromat for a fake ad where Jackie Chan played the owner who went a little overboard in his efforts to protect the ancient Chinese secret of Calgon from his nosy customers and kicks Chris Parnell’s ass when he caught on to the secret ingredient.
The Men At The Center Of The Earth had various men from all over the world whose tunnels all met in the middle of Earth after they all tried to dig straight through to the other side.
Kid Rock then returned to the stage to perform Only God Knows Why.
Finally, Jackie Chan closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.