The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody C-Span coverage of a U.N. Security Session where U.N. delegate planned the lunch during a session with Darrell Hammond as Colin Powell while he tried to push for the unjust invasion of Iraq and pushing the weapons of mass destruction lie. The delegates were more concerned about maxing out their U.N. money allowances over anything close to important. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Matthew McConaughey then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he used to love SNL in the seventies when he was a sixteen-year-old long-haired stoner and how his father felt about his lifestyle. This eventually sent our host backstage to find a photo of him from this era only once he got to his dressing room it was filled with smoke and cast member who were higher than hell. McConaughey then closed the door and we here a couple of bong sounds before he returned to the main stage with a puff of smoke in his mouth but no picture.

  3. Blind Date had Matthew McConaughey and Rachel Dratch on a blind date where we learned McConaughey was horrible when it came to guessing his date’s stats like thinking she was forty-eight when she was actually playing a thirty-four-year-old woman. After getting the age way off he then went on to embarrass himself even further by trying to guess her weight before attempting to draw and “accurate” portrait.

  4. This was followed by a repeat of the Nutri-Quick commercial from earlier in the season which was a fake ad for a suppository diet supplement.

  5. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then gave us another installment of their dorm room webcast, Jarret's Room where this time they interviewed McConaughey as a thirty-three-year-old college sophomore revision of his Dazed And Confused character, Wooderson, who loved the fact that he kept getting older while the girls all stayed the same age, which almost seemed to be his default character throughout the night.  

  6. We then went to an Anti-War Rally where McConaughey played a protester who struggled to assemble the unorganized crowd to join in on his chant against the war because everyone else in the audience was too hung up on their own agenda to create a singular voice.

  7. The Dixie Chicks then took to the show to perform Traveling Soldier. 

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Tracy Morgan dropped by as Joe Jackson in order to comment on how his son Michael was raising his own kids as if he had room to make judgments. Will Forte and Fred Armisen then introduced Patrick and Gunther Kelly who were a pair of accountant /singers that gave us a song that was written to help people with their taxes.

  9. Clubb Traxx was a Euro MTV style show that had McConaughey on as a Eurotrash singer named Chrome who sang songs for a collection of anti-war, teen, music enthusiasts.

  10. Office Stories took place in a stuffy workspace and had McConaughey as a weekend warrior of an employee who used Chris Kattan as a prop to illustrate one of his crazy bar-based stories.

  11. Second Time Around was a parody of a talk show with Maya Rudolph as the host who interviews McConaughey as a despicable pyramid scheme promoter, only as a white wanna-be Rastafarian he had a whole new, misguided interpretation of what a pyramid scheme actually means.

  12. The Dixie Chicks then returned to the stage to perform Sin Wagon.

  13. We then got a fake ad for Matthew McConaughey's Red Hot Texas Chili which was promoted as a chili recipe that celebrates the gas it induces instead of treating it like a curse.

  14. Finally, Matthew McConaughey closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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