SNL: S28E15... HOST: SALMA HAYEK... DATE: MARCH 15, 2003

SNL: S28E15... HOST: SALMA HAYEK... DATE: MARCH 15, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody coverage of a Bush Press Conference where Chris Parnell as George W. Bush took questions from magazines in an effort to address the claims that the questions from his last press conference were too soft. Being that a bulk of attendees worked for online sources, the questions ended up being even softer than anything that would ever come out of the real press corps. Of course, with this being the opening sketch it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Salma Hayek then officially opened the show with a monolog about being very nervous to do live comedy and how accommodating the male members of the cast have been before Chris Kattan interrupted with an ‘80s backup band in order to sing We Belong to our host. The segment then ended with a special surprise visit from Ed Norton who was disguised as a member of the ‘80s band since he was our host's real-life boyfriend at the time.

  3. Seth Meyers and Will Forte then revised their pub drinking talk show host characters for another installment of Top O' The Morning. This time, the two had on Selma Hayek as Seth Meyers’ girlfriend who creates a conflict between the two hosts because of the fact that she’s Mexican and not Irish which was extra rough considering they were there to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. After a bit of bickering back and forth, Jimmy discovered that the two cultures had a lot more in common than he thought.

  4. TV Funhouse then gave us another animated segment this time as a parody of the one season and done game show Are You Hot? only in this version, the contestants are made up of classic cartoon girls who are being judged on the looks.

  5. Versace Oscar Special brought back Maya Rudolph as Donatella Versace where she and her assistant, Selma Hayek, discussed dress designs for the upcoming Academy Awards with Donatella being so jaded and bored that she made it seem effortless. Eventually, musical guest, Christina Aguilera joined the scene to ask for a dress to wear to an upcoming industry party and Donatella gave Christina the dress right off her back.

  6. The Box was a sketch where Will Forte hid inside a box in an effort to catch his wife, Selma Hayek and Jimmy Fallon who he thought were having an affair. Though the plan worked in that Forte confirmed the affair, it failed in that he was stuck in the box after hearing the damning evidence and was unable to fight for his woman.

  7. Frida I had Selma Hayek lambasting the movie Chicago for plagiarizing the Broadway musical version in an effort to boost her own chances at winning an Oscar for her work in Frida.

  8. Christina Aguilera then took to the stage to perform Beautiful. 

  9. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Fred Armisen returned as Ferecito along with his wife, Selma Hayek in order to practice their new routine as a team which still mainly consisted of Ferecito saying a lame joke and tagging it with the catchphrase “Ay, dios mio,” only now Hayek followed this up by proclaiming “Ay, pope.” Amy Poehler also got a segment as Avril Lavigne mainly to let her punk presence be known during her visit. Chris Kattan snuck in as Gollum to make his own unique Oscar picks and Jimmy Fallon wrapped things up by singing the top forty St. Patrick’s Day inspired parody songs.

  10. Seduction Class had Selma Hayek as a teacher who taught adults losers to be bolder with their presence in order to win over the guys and girls of their dreams. Being that most of the class was made up of men, a nerdy Rachel Dratch was the only female in the class so by default she became the example woman for all of the men to hit on with their very pathetic moves and she loved all of the positive attention even if the pick-up lines were a little off.

  11. Frida II brought Selma Hayek back to continue with her efforts to bash the play Chicago, this time by claiming that they supported terrorist organizations.

  12. The Channel 5 Late Night Movie is another favorite sketch where Tracy Morgan and Selma Hayek play a married couple who lived in The Empire State Building and got a surprise visit from King Kong’s unit when it got stuck in their window during his climb. The two then had to tug on the member thinking it was a rug until the giant ape was done and had to climb down for a nap.

  13. Christian Aguilera then returned to the stage to perform Fighter. 

  14. Frida III gave the play Chicago a chance to rebut all of Selma Hayek’s claims from throughout the night but then our host just slandered them even further.

  15. Finally, Salma Hayek closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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