The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with even more parody coverage of a 9/11 Briefing where once again Darrell Hammond played Dick Cheney. This time he briefed Will Forte, who just took over for Chris Parnell as George W. Bush, about what to say once he got to the stand to at least create somewhat of an illusion that he is actually the person in charge. An interesting side-note, starting with the Trump episode, it really seems like the show’s had a Truther angle to most of the jokes on the topic with most of the jokes being that, at least Dick Cheney, was fully aware of these planned attacks. Aside from this observation, the rest of the opening sketch went the same, ending with the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Lindsay Lohan then officially opened the show with a monolog about how she was only seventeen and the gossip about her wasn’t true, mainly focusing on the rumored feud between her and Hillary Duff who dated one of Lohan’s ex-boyfriends around this time. She then called Rachel Dratch as Hillary Duff to the stage to apologize to her which led “Duff” to apologize to Amy Poehler as Avril Lavigne, who then apologized to Maya Rudolph as Whitney Houston who refused to apologize to Chris Parnell for not saying hi while at the airport because she was just still too big of a diva.
This was followed by a fake ad for Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover where Chris Parnell played a pitchman who sold a highly acidic tattoo removal lotion to moms like Amy Poehler who had a wild youth and a tramp stamp she was starting to dread.
Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then gave us another installment of the dorm room webcast, Jarret's Room. For this installment, Jarret and Goby were forced to move out of their room, for being too old to still be in college, and then went on to interview Lindsay Lohan as the co-ed who was there to replace them.
Hogwart's Academy was a parody of Harry Potter where Lindsay Lohan played Hermione’s who was that girl at school that hit puberty before everyone else and the development of her breast really messed with Harry as well as all of the other boys’ minds.
Horatio Sanz then played a drunk Billy Joel who drove a group of teen girls, played by Lindsay Lohan, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Rachel Dratch, to a Russell Simmon’s party on the Hampton. This sketch played off of a recent DUI from the piano man and the fact that these young girls had no idea who the New York legend actually was.
Usher then took to the stage with Ludacris to perform Yeah.
Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Horatio Sanz then played a recent G.E.D. graduate who shared his tale of triumph that landed him the Good Enough Degree.
This was followed by the debut of Debbie Downer where Rachel Dratch as the titular dumpy downer would bring down even the most uplifting story by sharing the alternate worst case scenario for every single thing. To make matters worse, for this installment, she even managed to make a vacation to Disneyland be unfun.
The Euro-Trash MTV-style talk show Club Traxx then returned for another installment where once again, Seth Meyers and Maya Rudolph played the two Euro-Trash hosts who had on Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Dratch as a lesbian group named D.A.D.I. who were a parody of the band T.A.T.U.
The Sleepover was a sketch where Amy Poehler played her lispy, spastic child character who bit off more than she could chew when she invited the most popular girl in school, Lindsay Lohan over for a sleepover. Though Lohan was very demanding, the high energy Poehler and her mullet headed stepdad Rick, as played by Horatio Sanz, eventually won her over.
Usher then took to the stage alone to perform Burn.
This was followed by a parody of 17th Annual Adult Movie Awards where due to the sensitive nature of this first-ever network broadcast of the event, the entire award show was cut short to where nothing was seen at all.
Finally, Lindsay Lohan closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.