SNL: SEASON THIRTY SUMMARYRead More
WELCOME TO MY SATURDAY NIGHT LIFE
Formerly Known As Seeso Many Saturday Nights!!!
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with another parody of Hardball where once again Darrell Hammond played Chris Matthews in order to badger his guest. This time the topic was the fallout that The New York Post and Newsweek received for publishing the Saddam Hussein underwear photos following his capture, as well as other false facts that left people thinking that the media might have gone too far. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”
Lindsay Lohan then officially opened the show with a monolog where, after showing off her new dyed blonde look, our host went on about being blonde actually is more fun and then went on to share some examples of her party girl life. Before she could get too far, our host was interrupted but Amy Poehler who played a party haggard Ghost Of Lindsay Future to suggest a less outgoing new image in an effort to avoid this burnout of an outcome. Though it was set up for us to assume that this future Lindsay was from the distant future, we found by the end of the bit that that this haggard version of our host was only two years away.
This was followed by a repeat of the Woomba commercial from earlier in the season which was a Roomba designed to automatically take care of that “not so fresh feeling” of its female users.
This was followed by a parody of America's Next Top Model where Amy Poehler's one-legged character, Ratch Dratch as a punk with a mohawk who was overconfident simply because of her hair, and a low self-esteem having Lindsay Lohan competed for the Top Model Title. The sketch was also interrupted by a fake commercial for a fake reality show called Chaotic starring Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers as Britney Spears and Kevin Federline who shared their shut-in wackiness with the world. When we came back from the fake commercial, Lindsay Lohan was announced as the winner of this years ANTM cycle of the show which led Poehler to storm/hop off the set, farting all of the way.
New Park Cinema had Lindsay Lohan, Seth Meyers, Rob Riggle, Will Forte, Fred Armisen as a bunch of Star Wars nerds who had to sit through the movie Monster-In-Law after discovering that all of the tickets for the latest Star Wars flick were sold out for the day. The main joke being that these costume-clad fans ruined Monster-In-Law for all of the legitimate chick flick fans who were there to watch it as their first choice.
TV Funhouse then gave us a cartoon called the Divertor about a Republican superhero whose superpower was to divert the issues created by the GOP by sabotaging the public lives of minor-league celebrities in the party's attempt to hold on to their control.
We then got another installment of Appalachian Emergency Room where once again, the host and the cast made fun of Hillbilly antics that would lead to the type of injuries that would send a yokel to the emergency room.
Coldplay then took to the stage to perform Speed Of Sound.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch dropped by as two lesbians who recounted their extremely average lives now that it's been a full year since gay marriage was legal in Massachusetts and they were celebrating their first anniversary. Fred Armisen also stopped by as Mexican President Vicente Fox to apologize to Kenan Thompson as Al Sharpton, for a statement he made where he claimed that his people took jobs in America that not even a black person would want. After the apology, everyone at the news desk made light of the situation by sharing their favorite racist jokes.
The Prince Show also returned for another installment with Fred Armisen as Prince and Maya Rudolph as his quirky sidekick Beyonce. This week, the two were weird with Will Forte and Lindsay Lohan as Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson who were weird enough on their own. To add to the quirkiness, Kenan Thompson also dropped in as Wanda Sykes who had an allergy attack right in the middle of her stand-up routine.
We then went to Little Italy where, to get back at her mafia boss of a boyfriend, Horatio Sanz, for opting to hang out with his friends, Lindsay Lohan trashed his gangster hideout while everyone in the scene made fun of mob cliches while talking in exaggerated New York/Italian accents.
Coldplay then returned to the stage to perform Fix You.
The Babysitter had Chris Parnell in the creep role once again, this time to hit on his kid's babysitter, Lindsay Lohan, while bashing his wife Maya Rudolph during the car ride to take Lindsay home.
Bear City also got another segment tonight where this time we saw a teenage bear who tried to sneak peeks at his father's pornography while his mother left for the store. Unfortunately, this alone time didn't last long as mamma bear forgot her grocery list only to reenter the house to create an embarrassing situation for the both of them.
Finally, Lindsay Lohan closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with a sketch called Will's Thoughts where we got to hear Will Ferrell's inner thoughts as he paced the backstage area. One of his hang-ups was the awkwardness of hosting with a cast mostly made up of Not Ready For Prime Time Players that he used to work with. All the while he had a smile plaster on his face in an effort to hide his discomfort but that only made him look crazy. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”
Will Ferrell then officially opened the show with a monolog where he continued the nervous routine from the opening sketch by admitting his fears to the audience. This led him to sing On A Clear Day You Can See Forever, in an effort to calm his nerves but then after a bit of banter with a member of the audience, our host lost complete control and ended up peeing his pants while acting like nothing went wrong.
Will Ferrell then revived his Alex Trebek impersonation for another round of Celebrity Jeopardy. This week, the line up of unfocused stars was made up of Amy Poehler as Sharon Osbourne, Kenan Thompson as Bill Cosby, and of course, there was also a reunion with Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery who was up to his fun and games.
Oracle Conclave 2005 took place at hotel meeting room where Will Ferrell played the host of a discussion for the Oracle Company's convention who kept running into so many technical issues, from the crappy setup, that he had to quit halfway through the presentation. This description may not sound all that hilarious but Will Ferrell's reactions were good enough to make this sketch a success.
This was followed by a fake ad for Para Tri-Cyclen that was pitched as the perfect birth control pill for the excessively sexual-active woman on the run which in this case was a character portrayed by Amy Poehler who slept with every male who crossed her path.
Artsy Apartment also returned for more fun and games with the Nunis. By more fun and games, I mean more of the same as the two artsy weirdos showed off their strange furniture to their surprise guests, only this time we also met Will Ferrell as the third Nuni of the clan.
Queens Of The Stone Age then took to the stage to perform Little Sister.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers played U.N. Nominee, John Bolton's assistant in order to defend his boss's temper that's been making headlines, while secretly fearing for his life as he would sneak in hints that the temper was real.
Grind! had Will Ferrell as a college drop out who opted to chase his dream to become a waiter. Will Forte played a “save the students” Goodwill Hunting-style teacher who attempted to teach Will Ferrell a lesson by having him grind each and every last peppercorn in his pepper mill onto his dinner salad. This technique ended up working as Will grew exhausted from all of the twisting and turning of the mill which taught him that he wasn't cut out for such a physical job and got him to agree to go back to college.
TV Funhouse then gave us a parody of the old Hanna-Barbar cartoon, Shazzan. In this spoof, “Shazzang” went overboard and started to destroy every Arabian enemy in sight after rescuing the Flaming Ruby OF Tarbus. In fact, he pummeled these “bad guys” beyond death, to the point where he terrified his children sidekicks, who once held his powers in awe.
Goulet Ringtones had Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet to hock his new line of personalized ringtones.
Going 2 C Movies had Chris Parnell and Horatio Sanz team up to attempt to do a public access movie review show. Will Ferrell played a friend who dropped by as their guest with a bunch of leftover videotapes that he snagged from the movie rental store from after the store switched over to DVDs.
Queens Of The Stone Age then returned to the stage to perform In My Head.
Luxury had Will Ferrell as an eccentrically dressed man with an eyepatch and the voice of an announcer for Jaguar, who claimed to be a spy for the Swiss government as he hit on Maya Rudolph after mistaking her for his secret contact.
Finally, Will Ferrell closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with special guest Paula Abdul introducing the opening sketch, claiming it was filled with lies for the purpose of comedy because it was focused a scandal about her that was recently making the news. This led to a parody of Primetime Live where Amy Poehler as Paula Abdul denied allegations that she was coming on to American Idol contestants and even had an affair with one of them. Meanwhile, we got to see damning expose-style evidence that showed the opposite, with Poehler as Paula seeming fully aware of her flirtatious way. The real Paula Abdul eventual broke the sketch by criticizing the scene and tell all of the cast members that their impersonations were a little off. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, this also led to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”
Johnny Knoxville then officially opened the show with a monolog about how different acting is versus being himself to perform Jackass stunts. He then claimed to be giving up said stunts to ease his parent's concerns for his safety while shifting focus to his acting in movies like Dukes Of Hazard. Right after he made this claim he went on to share Jackass-style footage where he kept getting pranked by the Not Ready For Prime Time Players while getting ready for the show.
This was followed by another repeat of the Mom Jeans commercial that has already aired a few times since its original episode which was an ad for the Obama jeans that middle-aged mothers used to wear.
Sally And Dan Harrison: The Couple That Should Be Divorced had Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers as the titular couple who seemed to find any excuse to pick a fight with one another while at a dinner party with Johnny Knoxville and friends. By the end of the sketch, we learned that the constant bickering actually turned the couple on, as they snuck off to the kitchen for some quite fight time, only to end up having sex.
We then got a parody Domino's Pizza Promo that had Darrell Hammond as Trump in order to dress him as a piece of pizza to be the new pitchman for the Domino's product.
Maya Rudolph then returned as Donatella Versace where this time she did her Donatella thing to celebrate Mother's Day with her wacky guest while on vacation in Italy.
Channel 5 Late Night Movie gave us an old-school sci-fi film called Visitors From Another Planet where Will Forte played a captured who kept getting tricked into being anally-probed by an entire fleet of aliens that included Chris Parnell, Kenan Thompson, and Johnny Knoxville.
System Of A Down then took to the stage to perform B.Y.O.B.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Will Forte dropped by to sing a Mother's Day song called, I'm Going To Miss You When You're Dead. Fred Armisen also stopped by as his deaf comedian character to share more racist jokes that his interpreter, Kenan Thompson found too offensive to translate into sign language. Tina and Amy then finished the night with a quick tribute to Weekend Update's founding editor, Herb Sargent.
Mother's Day Brunch had three competing tales at a Mother's Day brunch. One story had Seth Meyers and new featured player, Jason Sudeikis as two brothers who enjoyed their brunch with their mother Rachel Dratch and their soon-to-be second mother, Johnny Knoxville, who was in the middle of a sex change. The next story had Maya Rudolph as a grandmother who didn't recognize Kenan Thompson and Finesse Mitchell who played her two grandsons. Last but not least, Amy Poehler and Rob Riggle played a young couple who felt their newly born kid was God's gift to the world. Meanwhile, Chris Parnell played the unlucky waiter who had to endure this nonsense while working on Mother's Day.
Helping Hands Telethon had Johnny Knoxville as a shady televangelist whose hopes to swindle his viewers were crushed by the panicked cries from phone operator, Will Forte, who kept screaming “Oh, no!” into the phone when he realized he was part of this scam.
Merv The Perv then returned for another installment where he and fellow perv, Johnny Knoxville were lecherous and creepy to women while visiting a Victoria's Secret as the mall.
System Of A Down then returned to the stage to perform Aerials.
This was followed by another installment of Action News where the overabundant news team fought for airtime while cramming in as many segments that they could while never getting to the main story that was promoted at the start of the show.
Bear City also returned where this time we witnessed a bear in a bar get grief from his friends following a call from his wife who told him to come home.
Todd Foxworthy: You Might Be A Gay Redneck, If... had Johnny Knoxville as Jeff Foxworthy's gay half-brother who tried to capitalize on the Blue Collared Comedian's success by starting a “You might be a...” routine of his very own.
Finally, Johnny Knoxville closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with A Message From Congressman Tom Delay where Chris Parnell as the House Majority Leader attempted to explain how he'd use any means necessary, and included violent clips from movies to highlight how far he has to ensure the full backing of President George W.'s presidential agenda even if said agenda goes against his own beliefs. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”
Tom Brady then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he may not be an actor but, as an athlete, he was fully aware of what was required to perform for a live audience. He then started to sing a song only to quickly be joined by about half the cast who attempted to stop our host from embarrassing himself. This didn't stop Brady who continued to sing his playful song and was good enough that the cast on stage eventually gave in and started to sing along.
This was followed by another repeat of the Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice commercial from earlier in the season which was pretty much just a liquid Viagra with a silly name.
Touchdown took us to a carnival where Tom Brady played an average guy on the midway who tried time after time to win a teddy bear for his wife, Maya Rudolph, by playing a carnie game where he had to throw a football through a small hole. As he grew more and more frustrated with each missed throw, we got to witness the most uncoordinated carnival visitors accomplish the challenge with ease.
This was followed by a parody of Dr. Phil where Darrell Hammond as the titular show host set out to discuss the topic of Emotional Intelligence, only to be blown away by just how clueless Tom Brady was when trying to read the on-the-sleeve emotions being shared by Rachel Dratch, who play the meatheads depressed wife.
The Falconer then returned for another installment that this time, led to a Vice-Versa situation where, after arguing to his bird about who has a better life, while The Falconer was stuck once again, the trapped man and his pet were struck by lightning, causing them to switch who was who. At first, it seemed like The Falconer would get his moment to shine as a free bird, until Tom Brady came along with a backpack full of Snickers which our hero couldn't enjoy while stuck in the bird form but the bird as a human had a field day while eating his favorite treat.
TV Funhouse then gave us a parody of a Sexual Harassment And You, employee training tape that pretty much highlighted how sexual harassment is fine as long as you're good looking enough to pull it off. This was shown through Fred Armisen who kept getting accused of being a creep even though he wasn't even being offensive while Tom Brady was able to get away with murder and the girl all just let it go.
We then got a fake ad for Tom Brady's Falafel City which was the quarterback's attempt to join the ranks of Derek Jeter, Al Sharpton, and Donald Trump who also had their own self-titled, SNL fake restaurants.
Beck then took to the stage to perform E-Pro.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Martin Short dropped in as his character Jiminy Glick to announce the latest volume of Best Of Jiminy Glick DVDs that seemed to be scraping the bottom of the barrel just to get a buck. We also got to see a clip that featured a fake interview of Will Forte as Lorne Michaels from 1975, since this fictional Jiminy character claimed to be have had a show that went back over thirty years.
Amy Poehler's spastic Kaitlin character returned with Horatio Sanz as her step-dad Rick. This week, the two were at home getting ready to attend Uncle Tom Brady's wedding where we learned during a surprise visit that he was having second thoughts about giving up his single life, only to have Kaitlin win him back with her enthusiastic childish views on the subject.
This was followed by a parody of Behind The Music: The Super Bowl Shuffle where we got to see the downward spiral of the one-hit-wonder collection of Chicago Bears as they attempted to create a follow-up hit to their novelty Super Bowl song.
Beck then returned to the stage to perform Girl.
The Oak Room had Maya Rudolph as an alcoholic old-timey singer who kept experiencing pratfalls while drunkenly trying to pull off an awkward performance on the stage.
Why Brady? took place backstage and had Tom Brady have a run in with Seth Meyers as Peyton Manning, Finesse Mitchell as Donovan McNabb, and Kenan as McNabb's mom who all wanted to know why Brady was chosen to host over them.
Finally, Tom Brady closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with parody coverage of Papal Debate '05 that was moderated by Darrell Hammond as Tim Russert and featured the dullest of Cardinals who were vying to be the late Pope John Paul II's successor. About halfway through the sketch, the debate came alive when Fred Armisen as one of the Cardinals kept flipping everyone off for questioning his intentions to be the next Pope. Kenan Thompson as Al Sharpton also lightened the tone as well. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”
Cameron Diaz then officially opened the show with a monolog where started out promoting her new MTV travel show where she pretty much just lived a perfect life while traveling with her friends. Rachel Dratch watched from the wings, seeming jealous of our host lifestyle before Cameron called her over and attempted to relate with claims of being an ugly duckling in her youth. This got all of the female character to join the scene to call Cameron out by sharing true ugly duckling photos of themselves with each new photo being more hideous than the last.
This was followed by a parody of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition where Seth Meyers portrayed a shirtless Ty Pennington to lead his crew in an extreme makeover of Cameron Diaz's house. Diaz was completely caught off guard by the visit because she had no idea that she was selected due to the fact that she was dying from a disease and that her husband, Chris Parnell, was fully aware of but refused to share the details. While Cameron spent the entire sketch fearing for her life, Parnell and the kids were very excited that this mystery illness was to thank for their freshly made-over home.
TV Funhouse then gave us a Hana-Barbera-style parody featuring Michael Jackson who was in trouble again because of his love for little boys. The cartoon then went on to show Jackson's handlers' attempt at a solution which was to invent a pair of glasses that made the King Of Pop see grown woman as Emmanuel Lewis from back in his Webster days.
Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake then stopped by as a special guest in order to give us another installment of The Barry Gibb Talk Show. During this visit, the Bee Gee brothers talked politics with Cameron Diaz as Nancy Pelosi, other special guest, Drew Barrymore as Ann Coulter and Horatio Sanz as Bill Richardson.
The Holland Tunnel Hotel had Chris Parnell as the new manager of a one-star hotel who tried to impress Darrell Hammond, who played the Hotel Review Commissioner. To do so, he called on his staff, made up of Cameron Diaz, Horatio Sanz, Finesse Mitchell, and Fred Armisen, to show their good work, only to discover that they are all independently moonlighting as prostitutes while they are also on the clock which actually helped to get them upgraded to be a four-star establishment.
Green Day then took to the stage to perform Boulevard Of Broken Dreams.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers and Fred Armisen then revised their roles as Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles who checked in via satellite to talk about their recent nuptials while Rob Riggle acted as a London Tower Guard who had to keep the two from making out in public. We also got a Weekend Update Dramatic Play where Jimmy Fallon returned to cash in on visitation rights for the young child he had with Tina Fey, while he also attempted to flirt with his replacement, Amy Poehler.
We then got a fake ad for Woo! The Musical which was a new Broadway hit that attempted to capture the magic and splendor that is Spring Break through acting with songs.
The Sofabed had Cameron Diaz as a trendy New Yorker who just bought a heavy ass hide-a-bed for her sixth floor, elevator-less apartment, only to have to contend with Kenan Thompson and Finesse Mitchell who played two lazy movers and were on the verge of quitting to avoid having to move this heavy awkward thing up six floors worth of steps.
Green Day then returned to the stage to perform Holiday.
Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler then put on their British accents for another installment of the British Gossip show, Spy Glass, which was more of the same from this series of sketches that I've never really been a fan of.
Finally, Cameron Diaz closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with another parody of Hardball where once again Darrell Hammond as Chris Matthews berated his guests Horatio Sanz as Jose Canseco, Rob Riggle as Mark McGwire and Kenan Thompson as Sammy Sosa while attempt to tackle the subject of steroids in Major League Baseball. Parody Hardball favorite Will Forte as Zell Miller also got a moment to yell like a maniac about the topic as this opening sketch built to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”
Ashton Kutcher then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he couldn't understand that big deal about the fact that he was dating Demi Moore during the time. He then brought his famous girlfriend to the stage to help him explain why how this is normal, even though Demi was made up to look like she was ancient.
We then got a repeat of the Me-Harmony commercial from earlier in the season which was a dating site that promised to match their clients with opposite-sex versions of themselves to help satisfy Narcissistic dreams.
This was followed by a parody of Oprah where Maya Rudolph play Oprah to host a show about human tragedy. Her first guest was Rachel Dratch who lost all of her belonging to a fire. At first, Dratch got a lot of sympathy at first only to have her story fall through the cracks when Oprah brought out Darrell Hammond as John Travolta and Ashton Kutcher as Julia Roberts who was supposed to there to help out Rachel's cause but ended up promoting their own projects instead.
Push-Ups was a bit of a convoluted sketch that had Ashton Kutcher as an office nerd who still felt humiliated by an incident where he struggled to change the bottle on the water cooler, two years prior to the sketch's present day. Determined to save face, he ended up tricking his coworkers into a push-up challenge, claiming it was the new trendy thing to do. This scheme works, only Ashton ended up getting outperformed by everyone in the office who all got up into the hundreds while Kutcher maxed out at 16.
Federline had Ashton Kutcher as Kevin Federline who was attempting to promote his own new line of underwear behind Britney Spear's back since she was his wife at the time.
Gays In Space then returned for round two where this time the spaceship filled with a gay crew crashed into a strange planet where they had a run in with a bunch of space lumberjack to flirt with while acting extremely stereotypically gay.
Gwen Stefani then took to the stage with Eve to performs Rich Girl.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Kenan Thompson dropped in as a consumer advocate to show us a video of him beating down Ashton Kutcher, who played a store clerk of a mom and pop shop, with a baseball bat for selling an old woman a defective television set. Chris Parnell also stopped by to do another one of his lecherous raps where he started out focused on his love for Demi Moore only the song eventually evolved to be a tale about his real desire to have sex with our host instead.
Southern Baptist Church had Ashton Kutcher as a white minister who wasn't received all that well when showed up as a guest speaker and all that he did was read the scripture without any spirit to his tone. Finesse Mitchell who played the church's preacher then had to coach Ashton through what it takes to preach to the black masses.
Action 13 News had Ashton Kutcher as a new news anchor who caught the eye of his co-anchor, Amy Poehler, who made the weatherman, Seth Meyers, jealous when he caught her flirting with the new guy.
Gwen Stefani then took to the stage alone to perform Hollaback Girl.
We then got a fake ad for Nebulzitol where we watch Amy Poehler use a product to keep her husband, Will Forte's attention on her instead of March Madness.
Finally, Ashton Kutcher closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with a parody CNN News Report where we saw David Spade as Martha Stewart who was just released from jail, was back to work already, and her employees were frightened for the lives as the crafty queen picked up a much more aggressive prison inspired approach to her role as their CEO. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
David Spade then officially opened the show with a monolog about his history with the show before promoting his Best Of DVD which led him to take questions from the audience. Though he was hoping to get questions about the work that he's proud of, the crowd was obsessed with our host’s new Capital One commercial campaign.
Artsy House brought back Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph as the two Nunis who, this time, showed off their quirky décor in their ski home to David Spade and Rachel Dratch who played their new neighbors.
This was followed by a fake ad for a new court drama show called Deaf Judge where Seth Meyers played a judge who couldn’t hear a single thing being said during any of his trials. This ended with another quick ad for another fake show this one starred David Spade and was called Idiot Doctor.
Stunt Double took us to a set where David Spade was starting in a new action comedy with Horatio Sanz as Vin Diesel who played his costar. When we got to a point where Spade had to do a stunt, he was very disappointed by the fact that he was being portrayed by a woman, and even more disappointed that the woman in question, Amy Poehler, kept portraying him in an extremely effeminate way.
This was followed by a repeat of the Woomba ad from earlier in the season which was the iRobot Roomba that automatically manages any feminine hygiene issues with its female owner to free up their time for other tasks.
We then went to a Holding Cell where, after being wrongfully jailed, Rob Riggle shared a cell with David Spade as a character named Spider who obnoxiously kept talking the talk while walking the walk. By this, I mean he acted like he was serving hard time in the big house even though it was just a holding cell where the two were just waiting to be picked up.
Jack Johnson then took to the stage to perform Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Horatio Sanz dropped by a Jorge Rodriguez to ramble on about income taxes without ever getting to the point.
This was followed by a parody of The Sean Penn's Celebrity Roast where Seth Meyers as Sean Peen was actual the host of this roast show and not the person being roasted. The person of honor turned out to be Darrell Hammond as Clint Eastwood who took many hits from the cast who were impersonating a cavalcade of comedians and roast style guest but just sat in the seat of honor with his trademark sourpuss look on his face. If Eastwood wasn't bad enough, Sean Penn was utterly offended by everything while being a complete bore of a host.
UPS Guy had David Spade as the titular UPS guy who awkwardly hit on Rachel Dratch at her reception desk while making a delivery. If the at work flirting wasn’t cringier worthy enough, things got even more uncomfortable after he asked her out and she had to turn him down. This led Spade to blow up the building when he found out that Dratch was with Seth Meyers as a Fed-Ex man.
Jingle Singers had David Spade and Maya Rudolph as two commercial jingle singers who were the night's entertainment for a room full of fans of their work. This was pretty much another sketch that made fun of cheesy lounge singers, with that being their performance style.
Bear City then returned for another installment where this time we got to see a healthy bear use a handicapped toilet because it was the only stall left when he entered the restroom. He was then quickly confronted by another bear in a wheelchair who arrived after all of the other stalls were free making the first bear look like a complete jerk.
Jack Johnson then took to the stage with G. Love to perform Mudfootball.
This was followed by a fake ad for the Dirtball And Burnout Convention that had David Spade as Joe Dirt to pitch an upcoming wild event where dirtballs and burnouts would gather to be their rowdy selves amongst their own kind.
Finally, David Spade closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with Amy Poehler as Michael Jackson In Neverland Ranch where the bizarro pop was in his sickbed from the time when he fell ill just before his child molestation trial. Not only did Michael seem to be faking it but Rachel Dratch as Elizabeth Taylor along with several other cast members impersonating other of Jackson’s celebrity friends dropped by for a visit to reassure The King Of Pop that they felt he was innocent even as he responded to all of their encouragements with even more damning evidence. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Hilary Swank then officially opened the show with a monolog about how she decided to host to help ease her nerves so that this live performance would create enough stress to distract her from next week’s academy award since she was nominated for her role in Million Dollar Baby. This got her talking about the movie for a bit and how she prepared for the part before taking us backstage to observe the odd ways the Not Ready For Prime Time Players prepared for SNL only to show them all up by trying their prep techniques herself. Chris Parnell liked to jump rope, Maya Rudolph and Will Forte did weird actors things to warm up their vocals, Horatio drank a pitcher full of mayonnaise, Kenan napped with his eyes open while in drag, Dratch drank and throw whiskey bottles at a poster of Tina Fey and Amy and Seth made out a little too aggressively while rehearsing their scene.
We then got a follow-up ad from a series of fake commercials from nine years ago called Grayson-Moorhead Securities where, writer at the time, Jim Downey demonstrated how his financial company lost their clients’ money with pride but was even more proud of the fake that he still had the ever important list location. Well, they didn’t mention the list, but they really should have because that was the most memorable part of the original series.
Sheila Choad's Los Angeles Face had Maya Rudolph in the titular role to host a talk show devoted to Botox and the Botox lifestyle, mainly this was the females of the cast and our host talking like rich snobs with exaggerated lip make up.
The was followed by a second installment of the Grayson-Moorhead Securities fake ads where, this time, Jim Downey shared how his clients may have lost all their money, but they did gain the knowledge of failure. We did also get to see their before picture to highlight the horrible change.
Hot Plates took place in a restaurant where despite waiter, Horatio Sanz’s warning that the plates were too hot to touch, every single person from a group of friends had to feel the thing to see for themselves only to end up with significant burns. I’m mean, we’re talking a plate so hot that it was literally on fire while at the table.
Debbie Downer then returned for another segment where once again, Rachel Dratch as Debbie brought down the room with her depressing facts, this time while acting as Hilary Swank’s childhood nanny who, for some reason, was Swank’s guest to the Academy Award Ceremonies.
50 Cent then took to the stage with Olivia to perform Candy Shop.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Fred Armisen took to the streets in a prerecorded segment to interview the people on the street about the temporary art installment called the Central Park Gates. It turned out ***. Finesse Mitchell also dropped by as Morgan Freeman in order to announce that he wanted more lovemaking scenes in the future roles that he takes.
Seasons Of Love had Hilary Swank as an actress who’s cry style was so horrific that they had to bring in Rachel Dratch who played Hollywood’s number one cry coach.
City Court With Aaron Neville was the first time we got to see Horatio Sanz and the pumped up singer played the new ratings stunt judge for a daytime court show. This show’s spin was that Neville didn’t know a single thing about the law but, boy, could he croon his ass off.
After the Grammys had Maya Rudolph as Jennifer Lopez and Fred Armisen as Marc Anthony to continue singing late into the night long after the award show was over as they put on a show of their own when they got home from the event.
50 Cent then took to the stage alone to perform Disco Inferno.
We then got a parody of Project Runway where Hilary Swank played Heidi Klum to host a design challenge where the contestants had to create a line of clothing for KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Finally, Hilary Swank closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with a parody of NBC Special Report where Seth Meyers as Brian Williams took over for Tom Brokaw for the first time since his recent retirement. The first story that he threw to was Horatio Sanz as Kim Jong Il, who held a press conference to answer questions of praise toward him for being such a great leader and a living God after his recent claims that his country just developed their first nuclear missile and was more than willing to use it. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually came to an end with the accented-announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Jason Bateman then officially opened the show with a monolog where he and Amy Poehler pled to the audience to watch more Arrested Development not really for Bateman’s sake but so that Amy’s husband, Will Arnett, would be able to keep his job in order to continue making payments on Amy’s new boat.
The was followed by a fake ad for Me-Harmony.com which was a dating site for narcists who wanted to date the opposite sex versions of themselves.
Monkeys Throwing Poop At Celebrities was as that title suggests, a parody of a talk show where celebrities would arrive for what they thought was a regular interview only to get pummeled by monkeys throwing poop.
An Important Moment In Black History profiled Finesse Mitchell as the first black man to say, “Hell, no,” to the idea of skydiving.
The Best Of T.T. And Mario was a fake ad for a best of album for Maya Rudolph and Kenan Thompson, in the titular roles, singing their greatest booty-licous hits. This album was pitched as the perfect soundtrack to get your woman in the mood on Valentine’s Night yet Amy Poehler reaction when Jason Bateman put the album on proved that this sales pitch wasn’t quite true.
The Subway had Jason Bateman as a man who was afraid to be held accountable for the struggling of any subway performers he came across, so he happily gave them money while acting like they were the best performers that he’s ever witnessed. Meanwhile, no one else on the subway car could give one bit of a damn.
We then got a second installment of An Important Moment In Black History where this time, Finesse Mitchell played the same black guy from the last installment only this time he was being profiled as the first black man to say, “Hell, no,” to the idea if direct deposit.
Kelly Clarkson then took to the stage to perform Since U Been Gone.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers and Fred Armisen dropped in as Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Boyles to creep out the audience as the two kept making out to publicly show their love. Amy and Tina then started to make fun of a rumored Bill Cosby sex tape only to be interrupted by Kenan Thompson who made it loud and clear that he had nothing to do with this segment because he was holding out hope to be rehired for the sequel to Fat Albert.
This was followed by a fictional first episode of a show called Gays In Space where the gay male crew members of a spaceship offered up their sperm to a lesbian crew of an enemy ship in an effort to preserve the lesbian race after they offered up a beefy spaceman in order to make the deal.
Gibson Studios had Darrell Hammond as A&E crime show host Bill Kurtis who was in studio to cut the narration lines for a crazy new murder shows for the channel. The joke of the sketch was that Kurtis kept having to repeat the most disturbing bits from the crime over and over until he could get it correct while carrying on a casual conversation with the producers between each take.
An Important Moment In Black History then returned for installment number three where once again Finesse Mitchell played the same character who, this time, was profiled as the first black guy to say, “Hell, no,” to the idea of sushi.
Kelly Clarkson then returned to the stage to perform Breakaway.
Rap Night then returned for another installment with Horatio Sanz as a gigantic rapper/talk show host named, Chubb Hotty. This week, Jason Bateman dropped by to share a few behind the scenes clips of Chubb’s latest music video before, musical guest, Kelly Clarkson as Chubb’s girlfriend, Lady Olestra and the two performed a song together to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Public Speaking Class had a bunch of awkward salespeople who attempted to learn how to improve their sales pitches while at a public speaking seminar.
Finally, Jason Bateman closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with a parody of American Idol where a throng of untalented singers gave the worst audition in an effort to be the next William Hung who hand recently become a viral hit after his She Bangs audition. After turning down several hacks and freaks Chris Parnell as Simon Cowell went gaga over Rachel Dratch’s burlap-clad child character who drooled as she sang and turned out to be the winner who got to announce, “Live from New York…”
Paris Hilton then officially opened the show with a monolog about how she was excited to be hosting a live show because of her bad experience with end up on recorded videos. Kenan Thompson then joined out host on the stage and attempted to use his apartment’s super’s tiny dog to communicate with our Paris’s tiny pooch in an effort to win her over. Though the two dogs hit it off, Kenan’s efforts were a complete failure.
This was followed by a fake ad for Cheapkids.net which had Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler as selfish millionaire wanna-be parents who were encouraged by pitchman Chris Parnell to cut corners where ever they could with the help of the Cheapkids.net website that sold goods on the cheap that were recalled for safety issues.
Versace Skiing had Maya Rudolph as Donatella Versace once again, this time to call Paris Hilton a bitch while the two were ski down a hill alongside Donatella’s entourage of speedo wearing gay companions.
The Expensive Purse had Finesse Mitchell’s Starkisha character fight with our host over an overpriced purse that they both had their eyes on.
This was followed by the second installment of Cheapkids.net where this time Seth and Amy were on the beach with their sunburnt kids while Chris Parnell played a stingy CEO who tried to pawn off children’s books with incorrect spelling in order to earn an extra eight cents.
Exclusive Connections had Paris Hilton as a sexy pitchwoman a phone sex service where the women of the cast dressed as Trekkies and D&D nerds fulfilled the sci-fi fantasies of nerds around the world.
The Trumps was a sketch where Darrell Hammond as Donald Trump brought home Paris Hilton as Melania to introduce her to Seth Meyers, Fred Armisen and Amy Poehler who played Donald Jr., Eric, and Ivanka. The scene then played out like they were in the boardroom of The Apprentice, in the way that they talk, that is, since there were no threats of firing anyone in the room.
Keane then took to the stage to perform Somewhere Only We Know.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Finesse Michell dropped by as Donavan McNabb along with Kenan Thompson as his mom to comment on the Super Bowl while pitching her new line of soup that was a thing around that time. Fred Armisen and Rachel Dratch also dropped by as “The Tiny People From Elliot Gould’s Moustache” that took a turn for the worst when ***. Tina and Amy then wrapped things up with a point/counterpoint about the Super Bowl.
One of my least favorite characters, Merv the Perv then returned to be creepy in modern times at a 20-year high school reunion then be creepy in the past when we got a flashback, and he was creepy to Paris Hilton when they were young.
This was followed by a third installment of Cheapkids.net where this time Chris Parnell hawked ridiculously cheap children’s medicine that he sells at a discount because it is expired.
This was followed by a fake ad for Rafael Alonzo's I.T.F. Technical Computer Institute had Fred Armisen as the titular school owner who teaches the simplest of computer tasks at this rip off of a technical training institute.
Inside Barbie's Dreamhouse had Will Forte and Ken who ended up in a fight with Amy Poehler as Barbie because he had an affair with Paris Hilton who was a Barbie as well.
Keane then returned to the stage to perform Everybody's Changing.
The Bar had Seth Meyer’s as a Philadelphian who failed miserably in his attempts to pick up on Paris Hilton by rambling on about his love of the show Lost and how he likes to party with his idiot friends.
Bear City then returned for another installment where frustration culminated when a bear tried to get cigarettes from a gas station, and the panda cashier kept struggling to find the right brand in the cigarette case behind the counter.
Finally, Paris Hilton closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with The Bush Twins alone in their White House room after the Inauguration with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey as said twins who kept speaking in non-sequiturs using their “secret twin speak” after a night of sneaking drinks during the celebration of the start to the second term or their dumb dad. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Paul Giamatti then officially opened the show with a monolog about the fact that he was happy to have an audience considering the fact that there was a massive New York blizzard on the night the episode originally aired. He then went on to share a recent experience he had at The Golden Globe Awards where he was nominated for the movie Sideways. At first, I thought this would lead to a tale of woe, but instead, he just shared how awesome it was to be in a room filled with so many big industry names while also sharing some details about a couple of quirky interactions with some of the bigger stars.
Rice Confirmation Hearing had Amy Poehler as Senator Barbara Boxer who called out Maya Rudolph over her numerous lies about many details that came to light after 9/11.
We then got a repeat of the fake Gaystrogen commercial from last season which was a hormone supplement for gay men who hit menopause.
Limo Ride had Finesse Mitchell as Paul Giamatti’s Golden Globe limo driver who kept mistaking our host for former Not Ready For Prime Time Player, Rob Schneider. Thanks to the identity confusion, Finesse didn’t realize how hurtful it was when he kept talking up Jamie Foxx, who just beat our host for the best actor Golden Globe award.
Amy Poehler and Horatio Sanz then returned as the spastic Kaitlin and her stepdad Rick. This time, Kaitlin kept trying to play the drums while on a visit to her Uncle Chas’, aka Paul Giamatti’s music store.
Ludacris then took to the stage with Sum-41 to perform Get Back.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Rachel Dratch reported on a big winter blizzard while standing in sub-zero weather where she was struck by a phenomenon called “white blindness” where everything started to blur together because of all of the snow. Darrell Hammond also returned as Arnold Schwarzenegger to comment on California’s first public execution in three years.
Variety Vault took us back to the ‘70s where Paul Giamatti and Fred Armisen played The Lundford Twins so that we could watch a classic unaired clip from their fictional show the Lundford Twins’ Feel Good Variety Hour that that pretty much just parodied an amalgamation of all of the variety shows from that time. I found this to be a bit disappointing because just
Reinhold Investments had Will Forte as a woeful office executive who continually yelled “Oh, no!” to a client on the phone while Paul Giamatti had an in-person meeting with Rachel Dratch who he was trying to win over as a new investor.
Ludacris then returned to the stage with Sum-41 to perform Number One Spot.
Spy Glass was a parody of a BBC gossip show with Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler as the two British hosts who shared the British gossip of the day. This sketch was mainly filled with puns and laughs at the expense Yankees talking with fancy accents.
Franklin The Cat continued the cast member acting as large animals who ruin dates theme that’s been sprinkled through this season. This time, Fred Armisen played the titular giant cat who ruined a date between Rachel Dratch and Paul Giamatti.
Finally, Paul Giamatti closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with parody coverage of a White House Press Conference where Will Forte and George W. Bush in order to field questions from the press with Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton and Fred Armisen as his father George Bush Sr. by his side. These press questions mainly focused on how George W. was slow to respond to the enormous tsunami that hit South East Asia that year. Papa Bush and Bill were there to help turn W.’s buffoonish response into something that sounded more presidential. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Topher Grace then officially opened the show with a monolog about he was excited to host the show since he as such a big fan but could help but feel like he was being Punk’d by former That ‘70s Show castmate, Ashton Kutcher because it felt like a dream come true. This led random members of the audience to ask questions that were so dumb that it failed to ease our host’s suspicions that this visit was just an elaborate prank.
Trucker Talk had us on the road where we got to watch and overhear a bunch of grubby truckers discuss the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston break up over their CB radios which got all of these manly men to get more emotional than one would expect.
Martin Luther King Day had Kenan Thompson and Finesse Mitchell as two paramedics who refused to work on this special day, even though they were on the clock because they wanted to take advantage of the time and a half pay and not because they actually cared about the holiday.
CBS Evening Fraudulent Document Update had Darrell Hammond as Dan Rather in order to apologize for a series of fraudulent documents that he had been errantly reporting as fact. This sketch was actually more interesting to watch through modern eyes, especially considering how Dan Rather has been reacting to our current issues with fake news.
Beaver Ranch made fun of the Bunny Ranch brothel that had a reality show around this time. In this sketch, Topher Grace played a young man who just lost his virginity to an elderly prostitute who was played by Rachel Dratch. Topher learned a crucial life lesson in the process when he almost backed out because he wanted his first time to be special and not with an old bag, only to be informed by the ancient Dratch that the first time always sucks so he may as well just get it over with. And so he did.
The Killers then took to the stage to perform Somebody Told Me.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Kenan Thompson and Maya Rudolph dropped in as Cliff, and Clair Huxtable from The Cosby Show to be were being honored for being positive role models in the African American community as an effort to celebrate the fact that it was Martin Luther King Day.
We then went to an Artsy Apartment to be introduced to Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph as two quirky artists from some foreign land where the language allows them to both be named Nuni that when said sounds precisely the same even though they claim there is an unsubtle difference that just isn’t there. This week, the two weirdos showed off their even weirder furniture to their neighbors, Topher Grace and Rachel Dratch and struggle to pronounce their extremely typical American names.
This was followed by a parody of Hardball where once again, Darrell Hammond played Chris Matthews so that he could criticize his guest, Will Forte as he yelled about the tsunami that struck Sri Lanka from around that time as well as his other guests for various other reason.
The Not So Incredible Adventures Of The Down And Out Dollar was a sketch that had Amy Poehler as U.S. Dollar Bill who, thanks to a drop in value, took a lot of flak from the foreign currencies that she once dominated, back when America was still strong.
The Killers then returned to the stage to perform Mr. Brightside.
Finally, Topher Grace closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with parody coverage of a Pentagon Press Briefing that was almost a repeat of an opening sketch from two years ago. For this round, Robert De Niro revised his impersonation of Craig Fenson to share the names of new terrorist threats that all sounded like raunchy names one would use while making a prank phone call like Apu Pibat that sounded like A Poopy Butt when said out loud. Of course, with this being the opening sketch it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Robert De Niro then officially opened the show with a monolog about it being his second time hosting and how this time he’s got it all figured out only to be interrupted by Kermit The Frog who guilted our host into singing a duet of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas to kick off this festive episode.
This was followed by a fake ad for Woomba which was a self-operating electronic feminine hygiene product from the makers of Roomba that claims to know best when a woman should be using the product because it can sense when they’re feeling not so fresh.
We then got another parody of a show called Pranksters that started out playful and fun but then took a dark turn when a gross misunderstanding of the show’s concept led Robert De Niro’s character to prank his neighbor, Chris Parnell by attacking him with a chainsaw. This left Seth Meyers, who played the show's host to be absolutely terrified.
Wedding Reception had Robert De Niro as the father of Amy Poehler who was his fifth and final daughter to get married. Meanwhile, our host kept wondering when his foppish son, as played by Seth Meyers, would ever get married, utterly oblivious to the fact that he was obviously gay with no interest in women at all.
Prince Christmas Special was a holiday version of The Prince Show with Fred Armisen as Prince and Maya Rudolph still by his side as Beyoncé. This allowed our host and several members of the cast to impersonate a cavalcade of quirky celebrity guests.
TV Funhouse then gave us a special Christmas cartoon where Santa flew over all of the Red States to punish them for their presidential picks from both the 2000 and 2004 US Election.
We then got a parody Promo For The Apprentice where Darrell Hammond as Donald Trump to dress as Santa while he bragged about how high the ratings were for his magnificent reality show.
Destiny's Child then took to the stage with Lil' Wayne to perform Soldier.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Rob Riggle played a street prophet who dropped in to attempt to save both Amy’s and Tina’s souls and is annoyed as all get out that this was his special mission. Seth Meyers and Rachel Dratch also dropped in as their characters Brad and Abe Scheinwald who left their family production company offices in order to argue on the news and not back at the studio where they usually perform their sketch.
Undercover Gangster had Horatio Sanz as an undercover agent who butchered Italian stereotypes while trying to blend in with a gang in an effort to nab Robert De Niro who was a very playful gang leader.
Destiny's Child took to the stage by themselves to perform Cater 2 U.
Christmas With The Cat Lady had Robert De Niro as a crazy old cat lady who spent the holidays reading stories to her apartment filled with cats.
Bear City then returned for another installment where this time we got to see Christian bears accidentally carol Christmas songs to a Jewish bear family’s house.
Season's Greetings From "Saturday Night Live" had Horatio Sanz sans his I Wish It Were Christmas Today Band, but that didn’t stop him from singing the song with Kermit, Fozzie, Animal, and Gonzo taking the missing cast members’ places.
Finally, Robert De Niro closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with parody coverage of a Kuwait Briefing where Darrell Hammond as Donald Rumsfeld jerked the troops in Kuwait around with B.S. politician responses to all of the troops concerned as part while he delivered his briefing. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Colin Farrell then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he spent over a year and a half in Greece while he was filming Alexander only to hint how that was a waste of time. He then went to say how was happy to be back in New York where he could get back to sleeping with American women. He was then joined by the male members of the cast so that our host could teach these clowns how to pick up on, special guest, Lindsay Lohan considering that they all failed last season when she hosted. Keep in mind, she was only seventeen when she hosted so by this time she was eighteen at most, and Ferrell and the cast were all a bunch of grown ass men.
We then got a repeat of the Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover commercial from earlier in the season which was a fake a for an acid that was powerful enough to melt the tramp stamps off of wild teens who now find that they’re middle-aged moms.
Big Roach Problem was reminiscent of the Jasper The Parrot sketch from earlier in the season. Only this time, instead of Fred Armisen playing Rachel Dratch’s gigantic pet bird who scared away her date, Liam Neeson, Horatio Sanz played an enormous cockroach who ruined Colin Ferrell’s date, Amy Poehler when he brought her back to his filthy bachelor apartment.
Fred Armisen’s “Ay, dios mio” catchphrase fling comedian then gave us another installment of, Show Biz Grande Explosion! This time he had on Colin Ferrell as Bono in order to attempt to get him to lighten his tone by telling a few jokes of his own and then helped to find Bono’s catchphrase.
Airport Security had Amy Poehler as a member of TSA so that she could feel up Colin Ferrell and use security as an excuse for her lecherous behavior.
Scissor Sisters then took to the stage to perform Take Your Mama.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, special guest/hockey player, Brett Hull dropped in to give his opinions of the hockey lockout before going on to share more views on how he felt about gay marriage now that it was legal in Canada. Amy and Tina then shared their plans to become Lindsay Lohan’s mentors over the Christmas holiday complete with another visit from Lindsay as a special guest. Colin Ferrell then wrapped things up by giving a tongue and cheek review of the movie Alexander about Alexander used Greece to beat off the Persian army using more double entendre like that while discussing the war.
We then went to a Key Party where a quintet of weirdo couples hooked up to have a wife swap with one joke being that Colin Ferrell, the best looking guy in the room, was married to Horatio Sanz as a woman. The other joke was the fact that these were all strangers, so everyone kept having to introduce themselves and their safe words one after another as an effort to all get on the same page at the same time.
Human Interest Story had Colin Ferrell a reporter on the scene who was interviewing Kenan Thompson while he washed window on a super shaky scaffold that started to fall apart while Kenan kept stomping around to show Colin how safe it was.
Pat 'N Patti's Slacks, Snacks, & Knick Knack Shack then returned for another segment where Horatio Sanz and Maya Rudolph pitched more slack, snack and knick-knacks while making fun of the Minnesota accent.
Scissor Sisters then returned to the stage to perform Comfortably Numb.
Merv the Perv then returned after a long time off, where this time the creepy Chris Parnell character and his creepy British cousin, Colin Ferrell skeeved all of the women out while at a holiday office party. Though the girls were disgusted by every word said by Merv, Colin’s character was twice as gross, but the women put up with him simply because of his looks.
Finally, Colin Farrell closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with a parody of The Apprentice Where Will Forte as George W. Bush had to fire either Finesse Mitchell as Colin Powell, Darrell Hammond as Donald Rumsfeld or Maya Rudolph as Condoleezza Rice in the same boardroom style as the real The Apprentice show. Before Bush could make his choice he turned to the camera to announce, “Live from New York…”
Luke Wilson then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he was excited to host because the cast was known to get pretty wild. Though Luke seemed perfectly sober and ready to go, he claimed that he had just gotten back from a night out with Horatio Sanz only fifteen minutes before the show. Horatio then pulled up in a motorized wheelchair to show off pictures from their wild night out while our host desperately tried to piece the events together.
Debbie Downer then returned to bum everyone out during a Thanksgiving dinner with all of her pessimistic observation about everything that was said.
American Trainwreck Awards was a parody award show that allowed our host along with the cast to impersonate celebrities who were so screwed up that they were honored with awards for their outrageous behavior.
TV Funhouse then gave us another cartoon, this time showing George W. Bush as he invents a de-gaying machine that he haphazardly demonstrated on a collection of questionably gay celebrities.
The Restaurant had Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler out on a double date with Luke Wilson and Rob Riggle who played two grown men who have been best friends since they were little kids. It didn’t take long for the girls to discover that these two best buds made a better, more supported couple than they did with either of them.
U2 then took to the stage to perform Vertigo.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Darrell Hammond dropped by as Arnold Schwarzenegger who recently became the Govinator and now wanted to change the constitution so that he would be eligible to run for President. Fred Armisen also stopped by as a toy manufacturer who tested out his new Bop-It-style toy on Amy Poehler where he basically got her to masturbate the thing while it kept yelling “pull it.”
Coolest Teacher At Benton Township High School had Seth Meyers in the titular role until we met Luke Wilson who played a new teacher that gave Seth some stiff competition. Though this sketch did drag on toward the end, it won me back with a Shyamalian twist at the end.
The Falconer was another sketch to return, this time both The Falconer and Luke Wilson were trapped under a pile of rocks and waited desperately for the Falcon and Luke Wilson’s dog to return with help, only to have to wait while the two animals spent most of the day having a blast at the county fair.
U2 then returned to the stage to perform Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own.
Business Drinking had Luke Wilson, Kenan Thompson, and Seth Meyers on a business trip where the three drank to excess to the point where they each were drunkenly hung up on the same topics. Kenan kept yammering about much he rips off the company, while Luke complained about his wife, and Seth was obsessed with just how much drunker he was getting with every drink he chugged down. The sketch ended with the reveal that this all went down before noon.
Finally, Luke Wilson closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights, only to have Bono steal the mic so that he and U2 could perform I Will Follow as their surprise third song of the night.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with Kerry’s Call To Bush where, after losing the election, Seth Meyers as John Kerry, called Will Forte as George W. to congratulate him on his victory. While on the call, we learned that Bush was in just as much dismay as he shared that he wished he could change places with Kerry because he was over being the President. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Liam Neeson then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he was slightly hesitant about hosting SNL at first because when he showed up a majority of first draft sketches had him as a stereotypical drunken Irishman. He went on to explain that he told Lorne that he’d only host if they banned ALL stereotypes from the night’s episode. This led him to be confronted by every member of the cast who thanked him for his efforts before explaining how without all of the stereotypes there would be no parts for them on the show, leading the bit to end up having even more racial stereotypes than usual.
Star Jones' Wedding Night had Kenan Thompson as Star Jones and Finesse Mitchell as her fiancé, Al Reynolds, so that we could see the crazy antics that took place the night before her wedding as she got calls from her quirkiest celebrity guests.
This was followed by a parody of a home makeover show called, You Call This A House, Do Ya? In the sketch, Seth Meyers played a contractor named “Buildin’” Finn McQuinn who led his home repair crew to give the homeowners an “Irish home makeover” which mainly meant “making a garbage looking how look a little less like crap,” between all the bickering between the drunk father and his family that grew bigger as the sketch went on. Of course, it also wouldn’t be Irish if it didn’t end with a big drunken fight.
We then got a repeat of the Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice commercial from earlier in the season which was a fake ad for a male enhancing beverage that could keep men sexually-active for up to four hours at a time.
Jasper the Parrot had Rachel Dratch, and Liam Neeson returned to Rachel’s apartment after a date. This meant that she had to introduce her potential new mate to Fred Armisen who played a gigantic talking parrot named Jasper that ruined the rest of the night as the man-sized bird kept pestering our host the same way an average sized bird would.
Wake Up San Diego was the parody of a morning talk show that had Liam Neeson and Maya Rudolph as a pair of hosts who kept wasting time by repeatedly dancing to the morning show’s theme music that played after every single topic of the day. Looking at it now, it reminded me a lot of the start to Ellen where she is always dancing at the slightest sounds of music.
Modest Mouse then took to the stage to perform Float On.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Darrell Hammond dropped by as John Ashcroft to comment on his resignation from the Bush cabinet. Seth Meyers also played a college student who had a lot to say about the election even though he didn’t realize that it was too late and he had accidentally missed his chance to vote. Fred Armisen then wrapped things up as a dead comedian who kept insulting his interpreter, Kenan Thompson, by telling nothing but black jokes.
Appalachian Emergency Room then returned for more making fun of rednecks and their redneck injuries.
Drug-Sniffing Dog had Liam Neeson and Amy Poehler as two potheads who asked policeman, Chris Parnell, to borrow his drug-sniffing dog to help them find their stash of pot that they had accidentally misplaced.
Modest Mouse then returned to the stage to perform Ocean Breathes Salty.
Finally, Liam Neeson closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with a parody of NBC Special Report where Chris Parnell Hammond as Tom Brokaw shared a video delivered to the station by Seth Meyers as Osama bin Laden. In the video, bin Laden not only had a message about the upcoming Presidential Election where he shared his centralist views that made him seem like a better candidate than either Bush or Kerry. He then added a quick jab at Ashley Simpson for last week’s lip-syncing incident which led him to announce, “Live from New York…”
Kate Winslet then officially opened the show with a monolog about last week’s Ashley Simpson debacle and then went on to sing and dance in an effort to prove to the audience that she was performing live, joking that the bit was meant to be lip-synced if it wasn’t for last week’s slip up.
Rap Night was an MTV/BET-style talk show sketch that had Horatio Sanz as an extremely overweight rapper named Chubb Hotty who welcomed Kate Winslet as singer/songwriter, Norah Jones to sing her new hit while he “spit rhymes” in the in the background ala Eminem and Dido.
Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein had Kate Winslet in the titular role to build her perfect man who turned out to be Fred Armisen. Though, at first, he seemed to be the dead man of her dreams until it was revealed that he was actually a gay monster.
TV Funhouse then gave us a cartoon that made fun of John McCain’s inability to bring himself to deliver a speech where he would endorse Bush’s run for his second term.
Clinton's Endorsement took us on the John Kerry campaign trail where Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton kept getting way more praise than the candidate who he was there to support no matter how hard he tried to share the spotlight.
Eminem then took to the stage to perform Mosh.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers and special guest, Johnny Damon got a segment to share their excitement over the fact that the Red Sox just won The World Series. Will Forte also got a segment where he belched out his favorite Halloween song. Fred Armisen also played Diego who explored Democracy Plaza messing with the staff and other tourists after getting sworn in as a citizen. Horatio Sanz as Elton John then wrapped things up with another commentary on the Ashley Simpson lip-syncing mess from last week.
Kaitlin At The Mall had Amy Poehler as her spastic kid character Kaitlin who attempted to talk her stepdad, Horatio Sanz, AKA Rick, into letting her cousin, Kate Winslet, pierce her ears since she worked at an ear-piercing kiosk at the mall.
Eminem then took to the stage with Proof to perform Just Lose It.
Goodwin Wig And Toy had Maya Rudolph as Glenda Goodwin who owned a store that only sold non-frightening Halloween costumes which doesn’t go over well with the kids.
Election Map Colors took us behind-the-scenes at NBC News where Darrell Hammond as Tim Russert and Chris Parnell as Tom Brokaw got into a bit of a debate of their own while trying to decide on a color to represent the uncounted states on election night.
Finally, Kate Winslet closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with another parody of Hardball where once again, Darrell Hammond played Chris Matthews, this time to berate his guests Seth Meyers, as the always smiling Ed Gillespie and Will Forte, as the hotheaded Zell Miller, while trying to discuss John Kerry’s campaign. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Jude Law then officially opened the show with a monolog about how most people know him from his films, but he actually started out doing live theater. He then thought back fondly on those good old days, remembering the exact moment he realized how good looking he actually was. This sent him into a song about how great it is to live the life of a good looking person. The female members of the cast eventually joined our host as background singers and dancers who would fawn all over our host whenever they got the chance.
Green Screen was a parody of the making of Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow where we got to see Jude Law’s behind-the-scenes struggles with performing in a movie that was entirely shot on green screen.
This was followed by a fake ad for the Dyson Toilet which was marketed as a toilet made by the vacuum company that offered a product with enough vacuum power to flush down an entire bowl full of ravioli without any need to plunge.
The Presidential Debates jokingly claimed that this was the ninth debate between Will Forte as George W. Bush and Seth Meyers as John Kerry. The central joke of the sketch was that these two have been debating so much that they are starting to repeat themes that have already been well covered in all their other debates. Once again, I’m not feeling the debate sketches from this year because this real-life election cycle was such a bore.
Paris Hilton Apologizes had Maya Rudolph as Paris Hilton and Jude Law as her sister Nicky, so that Paris could publically apologize for her recent use of the n-word in a recent sex tape, claiming she’s not racist, and Nicky was just there to back her up.
Ashlee Simpson then took to the stage to perform Pieces Of Me.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Horatio Sanz and Rachel Dratch dropped by as The Ghost Of Babe Ruth and The Ghost Of His Hooker in order to discuss the Red Sox curse and how it will affect the upcoming World Series.
Bush And Blair had Will Forte as George W. Bush and Jude Law as Tony Blair in order to hold a joint press conference about their new collaborative efforts in adding more troops to the Iraq War, while both desperately tried to deny the fact that they were both just puppet leaders.
We then got a parody Promo Of The Apprentice where Darrell Hammond as a Dracula-clad Donald Trump recorded a Halloween theme promo for his season two of his highly successful show.
Jane Eyre brought the classic piece of literature to life with Rachel Dratch in the titular role where she helplessly watched her employer, Mr. Rochester, as played by Jude Law, sneak off to the attic for sex, which I’m guessing had something to do with the real story.
Ashlee Simpson then returned to the stage and attempted to perform Autobiography only to get caught lip syncing before she runs off the stage.
We then got the first installment of Bear City which was a city that’s been overrun with bears following an apocalyptic event that took out all of the humans and left the bears in charge. For this introduction, we got to see how two bears handled an automobile accident.
The Adventures of Peter O'Toole & Michael Caine had Jude Law as Peter O’Toole and Seth Meyers as Michael Caine so that the two could have a drink together where ever they choose even if they’re not entirely sure where they are.
We then got the second installment of Bear City where we witnessed a bear get caught mimicking his boss only to promptly end up fired.
Finally, Jude Law closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with Decision '04: The Presidential Debates where we got to see parody coverage of the second debate between Will Forte as George W. Bush and Seth Meyers as John Kerry. Again, this may have been more fun back in the day when these debates were still fresh on my mind but looking back, this may be the most boring election year for the show since it started. After making fun of Bush being an idiot and Kerry a robot, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Queen Latifah then officially opened the show with a monolog about all of the things that she’s been up to since the first time she hosted the show and then went on to promote her new jazzier album. Before she could move on to describe her new sound Horatio Sanz, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, and Will Forte interrupted as a jazz group called The Scat Cats who forced our host into joining them in a scat-filled jazz song.
This was followed by a fake ad for Short And Curly which was a shampoo for men to use on their pubic hairs to keep them clean and shiny.
The Prince Show then returned for more quirkiness with Fred Armisen as Prince and Maya Rudolph still as his sidekick Beyoncé. This week’s quirky guest was Queen Latifah as Patty LaBelle who did the interview while sitting on the back of a carousel pony.
This was followed by a fake ad for Excedrin with Queen Latifah as an office secretary who had to turn to the painkiller to help her rid the stress caused by the racial tension headaches caused by her bigoted officemates.
Decision 2004: The Vice-Presidential Debate had Queen Latifah as moderator, Gwen Ifill, who ran the show in the debate between Darrell Hammond as Dick Cheney and Will Forte as John Edwards. As with the opening sketch, this might have been more fun at the time but now almost feels like I’m watching real debate footage because the references are no longer important.
Queen Latifah then switched to musical guest mode to perform The Same Love That Made Me Laugh.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Rachel Dratch checked in via satellite as Martha Stewart who gave us an update on her life in jail. She also introduced us to her cellmate, Queen Latifah, who adored her crafty new cellmate. Finesse Mitchell also stopped by to share why he thinks that young black women should stop giving their babies weird names.
The Recruits had Rob Riggle as an NBA representative who went up against Seth Meyers as a respectable college recruiter to compete with one another with crazy offers while courting Finesse Mitchell to be a new player in either league.
TV Funhouse then gave us another installment of The X-Presidents where the former leaders who now have superpowers battled George W. Bush with the help of Ron Reagan Jr. and the X X-Presidents who came back from the dead to attempt to win back America for its people.
Dangerfield Tribute had Darrell Hammond as Rodney who performed one last stand-up routine at Horatio Sanz as St. Peter’s request when meeting the recently deceased comedian at the golden gates.
Vote Or Die! had Finesse Mitchell’s Starkeesha character and friends terrifying a neighborhood while canvassing votes with this violent call to action.
Queen Latifah then switch back into musical guest mode to perform Hard Times.
Zinger Vs. Snap then returned for another installment where this time Queen Latifah played a scientist named Sheila “Snaps” Alsnape to have a roast battle with fellow scientist Seth Meyers as Dave “Zinger” Clinger while the world waits for their help.
Finally, Queen Latifah closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.