SNL: S30E20... HOST: LINDSAY LOHAN... DATE: MAY 21, 2005
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The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's show started with another parody of Hardball where once again Darrell Hammond played Chris Matthews in order to badger his guest. This time the topic was the fallout that The New York Post and Newsweek received for publishing the Saddam Hussein underwear photos following his capture, as well as other false facts that left people thinking that the media might have gone too far. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”
Lindsay Lohan then officially opened the show with a monolog where, after showing off her new dyed blonde look, our host went on about being blonde actually is more fun and then went on to share some examples of her party girl life. Before she could get too far, our host was interrupted but Amy Poehler who played a party haggard Ghost Of Lindsay Future to suggest a less outgoing new image in an effort to avoid this burnout of an outcome. Though it was set up for us to assume that this future Lindsay was from the distant future, we found by the end of the bit that that this haggard version of our host was only two years away.
This was followed by a repeat of the Woomba commercial from earlier in the season which was a Roomba designed to automatically take care of that “not so fresh feeling” of its female users.
This was followed by a parody of America's Next Top Model where Amy Poehler's one-legged character, Ratch Dratch as a punk with a mohawk who was overconfident simply because of her hair, and a low self-esteem having Lindsay Lohan competed for the Top Model Title. The sketch was also interrupted by a fake commercial for a fake reality show called Chaotic starring Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers as Britney Spears and Kevin Federline who shared their shut-in wackiness with the world. When we came back from the fake commercial, Lindsay Lohan was announced as the winner of this years ANTM cycle of the show which led Poehler to storm/hop off the set, farting all of the way.
New Park Cinema had Lindsay Lohan, Seth Meyers, Rob Riggle, Will Forte, Fred Armisen as a bunch of Star Wars nerds who had to sit through the movie Monster-In-Law after discovering that all of the tickets for the latest Star Wars flick were sold out for the day. The main joke being that these costume-clad fans ruined Monster-In-Law for all of the legitimate chick flick fans who were there to watch it as their first choice.
TV Funhouse then gave us a cartoon called the Divertor about a Republican superhero whose superpower was to divert the issues created by the GOP by sabotaging the public lives of minor-league celebrities in the party's attempt to hold on to their control.
We then got another installment of Appalachian Emergency Room where once again, the host and the cast made fun of Hillbilly antics that would lead to the type of injuries that would send a yokel to the emergency room.
Coldplay then took to the stage to perform Speed Of Sound.
Once again, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave us the news. This week, Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch dropped by as two lesbians who recounted their extremely average lives now that it's been a full year since gay marriage was legal in Massachusetts and they were celebrating their first anniversary. Fred Armisen also stopped by as Mexican President Vicente Fox to apologize to Kenan Thompson as Al Sharpton, for a statement he made where he claimed that his people took jobs in America that not even a black person would want. After the apology, everyone at the news desk made light of the situation by sharing their favorite racist jokes.
The Prince Show also returned for another installment with Fred Armisen as Prince and Maya Rudolph as his quirky sidekick Beyonce. This week, the two were weird with Will Forte and Lindsay Lohan as Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson who were weird enough on their own. To add to the quirkiness, Kenan Thompson also dropped in as Wanda Sykes who had an allergy attack right in the middle of her stand-up routine.
We then went to Little Italy where, to get back at her mafia boss of a boyfriend, Horatio Sanz, for opting to hang out with his friends, Lindsay Lohan trashed his gangster hideout while everyone in the scene made fun of mob cliches while talking in exaggerated New York/Italian accents.
Coldplay then returned to the stage to perform Fix You.
The Babysitter had Chris Parnell in the creep role once again, this time to hit on his kid's babysitter, Lindsay Lohan, while bashing his wife Maya Rudolph during the car ride to take Lindsay home.
Bear City also got another segment tonight where this time we saw a teenage bear who tried to sneak peeks at his father's pornography while his mother left for the store. Unfortunately, this alone time didn't last long as mamma bear forgot her grocery list only to reenter the house to create an embarrassing situation for the both of them.
Finally, Lindsay Lohan closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
