SNL: S32E10... HOST: JAKE GYLLENHAAL... DATE: JANUARY 13, 2007

SNL: S32E10... HOST: JAKE GYLLENHAAL... DATE: JANUARY 13, 2007

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a Special Message From The President Of The United States where Jason Sudeikis as George W. Bush made the case to deploy even more troops into the Middle East, form esteemed military personnel, to park ranger, all the way down to the people working the mailroom, as a solution to the scam of a war. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Jake Gyllenhaal then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he only agreed to host if the show promised that there’d be no Brokeback Mountain jokes before noticing Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte in the audience as two cowboys in love. At first, he doubted their intentions but after a couple of questions to determine they were real fans and not a setup, our host stripped down to reveal he was secretly dressed in drag to sing And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going from the movie Dreamgirls to appease his newly found gay fan base.

  3. Deep House Dish then returned for another segment of Kenan Thompson and his sidekick Andy Samberg introducing more house and hip-hop hits to their MTV-4 watching fans.

  4. Bronx Beat With Betty & Jodi had Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph in the titular roles in order to chatter about what’s happening in New York this week during their public access show. They also had on Jake Gyllenhaal as young Author Frank O’Connor who couldn’t get out much information due to the constant flirting and giving of goo-goo eyes from the two cougars.

  5.  We then got a parody of a Donald Trump Press Conference where Darrell Hammond as a pre-Presidential Trump held a press conference to announce that his Apprentice show was moving to LA. This was right around the time things first started to get heated between him and Rosie O’Donnell who he kept claiming to not want to talk about, only he kept bringing her up every chance that he got.

  6. Cool Restaurant had Jake Gyllenhaal and Kristen Wiig on an exciting night out at the new coolest restaurant in town, where even the meatballs, literal meat played by Andy Samberg and Fred Armisen, were so cool that the smoked and played jazz with tiny cigarettes and instruments.  

  7. This was followed by another SNL Digital Short called Laser Cats 2 where Andy Samberg and Bill Hader continued to pester Lorne Michaels in their effort to get him to produce their Sci-Fi movie where they used real cats as laser cannons.

  8. Stock Footage Awards had Darrell Hammond and Kristen Wiig as Dan Rather and Jane Pauley to host an award show for best stock footage to be used in that year’s news as supplementary content.

  9. The Shins then took to the stage to perform Phantom Limb.

  10. Once again, Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers gave us the news. This week, Fred Armisen dropped by as Steve Jobs to introduce the ridiculous capabilities of the newly invented iPhone and then went on to sneak in a plug for the show The Office. Maya Rudolph returned as a strapped for cash Whitney Houston in order to announce that she was going to auction off all of her belongings and then went on to list a couple of the crazier things open for bids.

  11. "Law & Order" Master Class had Amy Poehler hosting a workshop to teach aspiring actors and actresses how to land a three-line role on the show Law And Order.

  12. Wheelchair Dates took place at a party where Jake Gyllenhaal and Maya Rudolph tried to set up Jason Sudeikis and Kristen Wiig who played two single friends that where both wheelchair bound. Both Jason and Kristen found this offensive because they saw their wheelchairs as the only connection between the two. Jake and Maya then had to spend the rest of the night defending their matchmaking attempt as if the wheelchairs had nothing to do with it. By the end of the sketch, Jason and Kristen did hit it off precisely because of their wheelchair connection.

  13. The Shins then returned to the stage to perform New Slang.

  14. Kaplan, Leibowitz, And Dolemite had Fred Armisen, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Kenan Thompson as the owners of a law firm where they claimed to be small-scale lawyers who are just like you. They each introduced themselves and their average, but quirky up brings, especially Kenan who played some sort of blend between Elmer J. Fudd, (millionaire) and some sort of southern pimp.

  15. Finally, Jake Gyllenhaal closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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