The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody C-SPAN coverage of General Petraeus Report On Iraq that had Will Forte as the general to report on the proceedings in Iraq. First, he made the war sound like it was running smoothly, only each example highlighted the cluster-fuck of a situation we were in. He then went on to criticize Darrell Hammond as John McCain, and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton who both denied their own warmongering ways and recently published books filled with lies, before praising Fred Armisen as Barack Obama who had a recently published book as well. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Ashton Kutcher then officially opened the show with a monolog about how thanks to shows like Punk’d and Beauty And The Geek, he’s now a TV producer. Then, in an effort to show how serious he was taking this new producer role he took us backstage to wander about, making “helpful” suggestions to the SNL staff as if he could fix the show.

  3. The Cougar Den was a talk show sketch that had Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig and Casey Wilson as a collection of cougars hosts who kept commenting about their college-aged boyfriends before introducing their special guest, the real Cameron Diaz, who played cougar number four with her young stud Ashton Kutcher in tow to join in on the cougar fun. Ashton played a character that was so vapid that he openly admitted that young men were into cougars to take advantage of these older women’s desperate ways to get whatever they want.

  4. Outside The Nightclub had Ashton Kutcher as himself outside of the hippest new nightclub in town. Thinking that his prominence as a celebrity would allow him the instant access, he attempted to walk right in only to be stopped by Kenan Thompson who played the clubs bouncer and told Ashton that he had to wait alongside Fred Armisen who played a gawky geek. The two then had to watch way less deserving patrons gained instant access to the club.

  5. This was followed by another SNL Digital Short which was actually a music video for a song called Daiquiri Girl By Clementine. In the world of the short, tonight’s musical guest Gnarls Barkley was originally supposed to be involved but backed out at the last minute leaving the video makers with a substandard song and a video that was even worse. This was a weird one because it was legitimately terrible, and all of the information about Gnarls Barkley was delivered through text, so it was unclear if it was a joke or if they were really sending a message to the group that their no-show wasn’t cool, while taking it out on the audience at the same time.

  6. We then went behind-the-scenes for an Activia Commercial Shoot where during the shoot for this yogurt spot, Kristen Wiig as Jamie Lee Curtis not only admits that she can’t get enough of the product, even though it continually causes her to crap her pants.

  7. Gnarls Barkley then took to the stage to perform Run.

  8. Once again, Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers gave us the news. This week, Kristen Wiig dropped by as a travel writer who constantly tried to cover her nervousness by continually kidding around and never actually getting to her point. This was a character that Wiig used before, but this was the first time she was fully actualized as a news segment personality. Fred Armisen also returned as he political comedian character to struggle to get through his jokes that he attempted to make up on the spot while reading newspaper headlines.

  9. Amie took place in a bar where the titular song Amie started playing on the jukebox which got Ashton Kutcher, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, and Bill Hader all reflecting on increasingly unusual life-changing events from their life in between all joining in to sing the chorus of the song.

  10. Death By Chocolate had Ashton Kutcher as a chocolate bar that stabbed a homeless guy in the back.

  11. The Mellow Show was as the title suggests a show hosted by Andy Samberg as Jack Johnson who is extremely laid back as he talks with fellow laid-back guests Bill Hader as Dave Matthews, and Ashton Kutcher as John Mayer.

  12. Ashton Kutcher then returned as the chocolate bar for round two of Death By Chocolate where this time he shot and killed a doctor to then plant the gun on a coma patient right before pulling their plug.

  13. Gnarls Barkley then returned to the stage to perform Who's Gonna Save My Soul?

  14. Casey Wilson then played a paraplegic stripper named Dusty Velvet who has to rely on the help of Ashton Kutcher, who played the emcee, to position her into her erotic dance moves.

  15. Ashton then returned as the chocolate bar once again for another Death By Chocolate where he killed Andy Samberg as himself, with a chainsaw while he was waiting in his quick-change booth.

  16. Finally, Ashton Kutcher closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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