Insert Bond Reference Here???


I don’t think this episode could have come at a better time because I know absolutely nothing about Daniel Craig other than the fact that at one point he played James Bond and that’s it. I stopped liking action films back when the first Mission Impossible movie with Tom Cruise came out because I couldn’t stand the CG that was used on the stunts. I didn’t even see the film, but from what I saw of the commercials it looked terrible. Besides, I was just looking for an excuse to bail out on the genre anyway because I’ve never been all that big of a fan of guns. Not in a, “They should all be banned,” sort of way but they’re just not for me.

I’ve only been in one fight as an adult, if you can call it that, were some guy was picking on a friend of my after last-call. With me being six foot four and built like a football player, all that I had to do was change the look on my face, and the guy took off running. I’m not a fighter, so I didn’t know what I was doing and just ran after him. I didn’t know what to do with the guy when I caught him until his buddy then jumped on my back, and I threw him to the ground. I got in a few windmill hits as well, but it was clear this wasn’t my thing.

Since I’ve never resorted to violence in real life, and never really looked up to any “alpha males,” I don’t get anything out of seeing machismo spewed all over the screen. Granted, there are several exceptions, but I’d prefer to what more personal stories, movies with themes that can get me to cry and/or laugh while actually connecting to the characters and not just cheering them on. I can’t relate to these action heroes when I look at their situations and think, I wouldn’t have answered the phone in the first place, or why doesn’t this idiot just move to a different state since most action stars are built up to be loners anyway.

I also don’t like the genre because I feel like guns break the Deus ex machina rule that I was always told to avoid with the gun being both the god and the machine. I know that I say that I’m anti-structure and rules, but that’s just my personal taste. I feel like if you’re going to be the one that’s a structure stickler, then you should follow your own rules, or be more flexible when I follow mine. I just don’t see how killing is always pitched as the ultimate problem solver, and here we sit questioning has society has gotten as violent as it has when every aspect of our entertaining promotes killing as something fun or the right thing to do depending on the circumstance.

So that’s why I don’t know all that much about Daniel Craig, but I’m happy he inspired this on-topic introduction. I’m also glad that based on my pre-viewing legwork, tonight’s show looks like it has the potential to be really fun. I don’t know if it’s the Britishness of our host, but based on the images and sketch breakdown, he looks like a pleasant guy, and the sketches make it seem like he’d be down for some fun.

With that, it’s now time to hit play so that I can share my real-time viewing experience. As always, to start out, the talking heads behind podiums start to the show kind of bummed me out as we get closer and closer to the next Presidential election. As I said yesterday, this season is going to be rough, considering, I was a full on Obama supporter for round one, and I would say that shows like SNL and other late-night comedy programs that now blame Fox News led me to feel bamboozled by promises of hope, no matter how hard you try to convince me otherwise. I just hate feeling like a bad guy just for wanting an actual choice and not just Asshole A or Asshole B.

As someone who is a bit death-obsessed over my childhood fears of the concept, I’ve always been a huge fan of In Memoriums during award shows, so I really got a kick out of the monolog where Daniel Craig presented an In Memorium segment for all of the bad guys that he killed as James Bund. I also liked that our host for the night was playful enough to reassure me that this can be a fun one. I've never been a catcalling kind of guy, hell, it can take me years just to admit to a crush, so I didn’t get much out of the catcall sketch, even though I know you’re not supposed to relate, I’m just not a fan of watching harassment even as a joke. I also didn’t get much out of the Bond Girls sketch because I’m not a Bond fan so I didn’t care.

I also didn’t care about the Rachel Maddow sketch for the same reasons I wasn’t into the opening sketch, and I’ll just leave it at. The Long Island Medium is another pseudo-celebrity who I only know because of her connection to Howard Stern, and even I only know of her because Sal is BFFs with her husband. That said, about halfway through the sketch, I laughed out loud when Daniel Craig show up on the screen as Mr. Larry Caputo, if it wasn’t for that, I don’t think the sketch would have gotten a single laugh.

I’ve fantasized about living in space to escape this planet for most of my life, so I liked the sketch with the group on a mission to Mars for that reason. I also liked that the voice Bobby Moynihan was using sounded like one of his Comedy Bang Bang characters. Other than that, it was all cat talk jokes, and I’m a dog guy and didn’t relate at all, and found myself getting as annoyed by the characters as the crew members from the sketch. The second half of the sketch was actually pretty funny. I hope this slow build-up to the humor isn’t the trend of this season because this isn’t the first time from this year where right when I was on the verge of writing a sketch off, it gets really good for just the last half minute.

I no the name Muse, but I can’t place any of their songs of the top of my head. Their first performance didn’t help me at all, but I wasn’t really a fan of the sound. Oh my god, I also don’t hope that the news won’t always be longer than fifteen minutes this year. Again, I’m fine with Seth, but I’m just not liking the actual current events from this time because I think this is around the exacter time that I went from joking about being jaded because I was so close, to wanting to shut myself off from the rest of the world. There’s still a couple years before I really got bad, but this Presidential election was where I felt the true divisive nature of politic started to kill my heart. It was refreshing to see the real Big Bird for some fun though.

I’ve been watching a lot of BBC Reality Shows lately, and I’m in love with the accents, confusing similar phrases that are way off from our meaning, and slang that I wish I could pull off, so I liked the sketch that made fun of the BBC sit-com for many of the same reasons. The joke at the end was funny, but the intentional dry delivery to capture that BBC-feel kind of killed the energy where it should have induced a much bigger laugh.

I kind of zoned out the rest of the night because I wasn’t feeling the straight men making out with one of them in drag routine. I had the same reaction to the second performance from Muse that I had to their first, but admit I liked the second song better. Then the show ended on a repeat of a commercial that I just watched during yesterday’s show, which is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially when the repeated content is the sketch that ends the episode.

This is another case where by the time the Daniel Craig returned to the stage to say his goodnights, I was excited for the show to be over so I can get a little rest. With that, I’m going to jump right in and dig deeper into the details of each sketch, as I give you...

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody coverage of The First Presidential Debate between Joy Pharoah and Jason Sudeikis as Barack Obama and Mitt Romney where Obama was too cocky to be prepared and spent more time defending his lack of accomplishments and selling his pleasant personality over anything to do with policy. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York...”

  2. Daniel Craig then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he’s now starred in three James Bond films and then went on to present an In Memorium segment dedicated to all of the villains his character has killed throughout his trilogy as 007.

  3. Daniel Craig and a few male members of the cast then played a group of Construction Workers. Where all of the other workers are dirtbags, who have no problem making catcalls. Craig’s efforts to attract innocent women, who are just trying to get from point A to point B, end up twice as awkward since he’s terrible at coming up with things to yell because he was only harassing the women in an attempt to fit in. It turned out that Craig struggled with the “flirting” style because his father was a construction worker who was shot by a passerby after inappropriately complimenting her ass.

  4. We then got a fake ad for a DVD that celebrated the 50th Anniversary Of 007 that featured a bevy of unlikely Bond Girls from throughout the franchise’s history.

  5. Three Days Later: A Look Back At the Obama Debate Disaster had Cecily Strong as Rachel Maddow along with a panel of liberal talking heads who all desperately attempted to spin the terrible performance put on by Barak Obama during his first debate against Mitt Romney.

  6. This was followed by a parody of Long Island Medium where Kate McKinnon played Theresa Caputo to make fun of the real psychic and the actual show.

  7. Mars Mission took place in a spaceship heading to Mars where Bobby Moynihan played the one annoying astronaut who kept getting on everyone’s nerves by getting all misty-eyed about the pet kitty he left behind on Earth, while everyone else was focused on how much they missed their human loved ones.

  8. Muse then took to the stage to perform Madness.

  9. Once again, Seth Meyers gave us the news. This week, the real Big Bird dropped by to comment on the new burst of interest in the Sesame Street resident after Mitt Romney mentioned him during the debates. Kate McKinnon also stopped by as an artist who wanted to defend her forgery of a painting of Jesus. (Clip 2) (Clip 3) (Clip 4)

  10. A Sorry Lot We Are was a parody of a BBC-style sit-com where Daniel Craig, Bill Hader, and Bobby Moynihan portrayed a group of losers who hang out in a pub where they do nothing but mope about their pathetic lot in life.

  11. Loving Couple had Daniel Craig as a guy who was eager to show off his new girlfriend, as played by Fred Armisen, as well as their extreme acts of PDA while his unsuspecting friends watched on in utter shock.

  12. Muse then returned to the stage to perform Panic Station.

  13. We then got a repeat of the Low-Information Voters Of America sketch from the last episode where they interviewed undecided voters who came up with every excuse that they could as to why they were ready to vote, only none of their concerns had anything to do with politics.

  14. Finally, Daniel Craig closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

This is another case where I’m willing to bet that I would have liked the show much more if I actually knew the host, considering the fact that even no knowing him, these three sketches that contained my favorite moments of the night still kept it pretty fun. First, I loved the Mars Mission sketch, even though it took really long to get to the funny part, but when it got funny, I got a good laugh. Next, I really liked the Long Island Medium parody but only because it was funny to see Daniel Craig as Larry Caputo since he’s mentioned often on the Howard Stern Show. Finally, I was a fan of A Sorry Lot We Are because I’m a bit British TV obsessed at the moment and it was another case where the sketch got really funny right at the end, right after I’d given up on the segment and then it won me back.


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