The Wicker Breakdown:

1. The show starts with a Weekend Update Special. This is a follow-up to the news story earlier in the season where Paul McCartney was busted in Japan for possession of marijuana. This time they've sent Father Guido Sarducci to England in an attempt to snag an interview. Other than talking circles as to why Paul was a no-show, the Father talks about his decision to get cornrows following the success of 10. He also grabs a passing mailman to take Paul's place and announce, "Live from New York..."

2. Steve Martin then opens with his usual blend of monolog and stand-up routine.

3. Real Incredible People was a parody of That's Incredible or some show you would now see on the Discovery Channel where people have incredible lives, only these people's incredible feats are more like quirks that are barely worth mentioning.

4. Harry Shearer and Larraine put together a puzzle when Martin and Murray burst through the door like they are going to rob the place, only all they do is yell out threats while vandalizing the place. Right when Larraine notices nothing was taken the door is kicked in again. This time it's Gilda and Jane who are playing middle-aged women who also carry themselves like robbers. It turns out that they are Martin and Murray's moms who follow the two around to aggressively apologize and clean up their mistakes.

5. The band 3-D then hits the stage to perform All-Night Television.

6. Once again, Jane and Bill anchor the news. This week the main focus is Paul McCartney, so we spend most of the segment with Guido Sarducci who is still outside of McCartney's apartment and at one point sings a pretty awesome medley of Beatles tunes.

7. The Hominids is a sketch that takes place back in caveman days, and Steve Martin is the first to develop a modern mind. He's the only one that has enough brains to solve problems using logic. Unfortunately, this angers the alpha male who uses his muscles to bash in Martin's brain with a massive rock to highlight that brawn without brains is actually a weakness.

8. We then check back in with Guido Sarducci who finally catches Paul McCartney's attention by throwing a rock at his apartment window. After all of this waiting Sarducci finally gets the chance to ask the all-important questions, "If you could be any animal what would it be?" Paul answers, “Koala bear,” and then goes on to introduce his and his wife's latest music video.

9. Said music video plays for a song called Coming Up. I'm not sure what's worse, the song or the video as they attempt the Eddie Murphy technique to play every single character.

10. We then jump to a dinner with Reagan and a few members of the press. He is discussing his PR strategies and at this point that they are still treating him like he is a complete joke that will never step foot in the White House. The humor of the sketch comes with the group having to split the check as this was a time when the press was presented to have dignity.

11. This was followed by a fake ad for a television-marketed album from Patti Caldwell called Stretch Marks. I have no idea who this woman is, so I really don't get the humor.

12. We then go to the side of the freeway next to a deer crossing sign. Martin and Gilda hop into the scene dressed as dear and are very hesitant to cross. Garrett shows up dressed as a cow only to be informed that the cow crossing section is just down the street. Bill Murray plays the alpha male deer who throws caution to the wind and crosses without looking both ways. He is instantly hit by a car which traumatizes Gilda and Martin to where they decide to remain on their side of the street.

13. Finally, Steve Martin closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown: 

1. The show starts out making fun of the new but not via Weekend Update. I'm not sure which network they were ribbing, but the sketch parodies the coverage of the presidential campaign as they reach the end of the primaries. The first half of the sketch is so serious that it almost feels like real coverage, but Paul Shaffer saves the bit by breaking down the polling numbers using an actual pie to fill up a pie chart. Harry Shearer plays the main host who gets handed breaking news right as he was about to sign off. He opens the note and reads, "Live from New York..."

2. Buck Henry then opens the show with news that it's not being canceled. He then goes on to announce the replacement cast, but I don't really get the joke. At first, I was excited to see Eddie and Gilbert hit the stage this early in their careers but instead, we meet a bunch of strangers. I don't know if all these people were replaced over the break with what became the true second cast or if something went over my head but no one seemed to be trying anything funny (maybe this is why they had to be replaced because they looked like a boring bunch.)

3. This was followed by my forgotten favorite sketch of all times. In it, Buck Henry and Gilda play Lord and Lady Douchebag. I strictly remember loving this sketch before I even knew what a douchebag was. To me, it was just a funny word, and I loved the reactions that I'd get when I used it. There's something about an adult laughing their ass off while telling a child to shut up that's the best reaction by far. I also found this sketch twice as funny when I was finally old enough to truly understand the real joke.

4. The Cow Minder's Daughter was a parody of The Coal Miner's Daughter, which is a title I'm familiar with but never knew the story. In the sketch, Larraine plays a country singing in India who lives with her dad who minds cows. Bill Murray plays a cowboy in India for some reason who takes her to become a star. Once again, I didn't get the reference material, and from what I saw I wouldn't be interested in the real deal and didn't really care about the parody.

5. Andrew Gold then hits the stage to perform Kiss This One Goodbye.

6. Once again, and for the very last time, Jane and Bill anchor the news. Bill genuinely messes up the main camera by taking a flash photo directly into the lens, burning a big orange square in the middle of the screen. Other than that we get a visit from an art critic who is doing a segment about an art exhibit featuring the paintings from the movie Big Eyes. Chico Esquela also drops by for one last update on sports, and Roseanne Roseannadanna talks about the recent eruption of Mount Saint Helens and ends up rambling about seeing Gloria Vanderbilt who had a feminine itch.

7. Then we get a visit from my least favorite of character's which is Buck Henry as the creepy uncle. Though this sketch is another molestation joke that's too real to be funny, it's over the top and cartoony, unlike the authentic creepy material that used to be put out by Mr. Mike. Either way, this character should have died when said Mr. Mike left.

8. Bill Murray then returns as his lounge singer, this time he's at a tiki bar. Once again this sketch is the exact same as the others in the series, and though I don't mind it, I am not the biggest fan.

9. Week In Review was a panel interview show, which runs just like the world today. It shows that even before the internet people had different sources for news, so one guest would want to talk about politics while one wanted to talk about world news. Meanwhile, the other two guests were interested in celebrity gossip and what would now be considered clickbait news with miracle diets and all that other nonsense. Not only do they each have their own agenda, but they each also look down on the others for not being on the same page.

10. This was followed by a fake ad for Mommy Beer where a bunch of hunters return to a cabin to celebrate their kills by enjoying a beverage with a nipple on top while they all join in to sing the slogan song.

11. Andrae Couch And The Voices Of Unity then hit the stage to perform Can't Nobody Do Me Like Jesus.

12. Finally, Buck Henry closes the show by thanking the crowd and saying his goodnights, but there was no real special goodbye from the rest of the cast.

SNL: Season Five Summary