SNL: S07E20... HOST: OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN... DATE: MAY 22, 1982

SNL: S07E20... HOST: OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN... DATE: MAY 22, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts in the women's restroom where the hooker from the Velvet Jones People's Court sketch has a run-in with Olivia Newton-John and pesters her like a crazy fan and Olivia attempts to give her advice. 
  2. They then announce Olivia Newton-John and the cast as if they are supposed to do the lame huddle but then she jumps right into singing Let's Get Physical in place of the opening monolog.
  3. We then get a repeat of the TransEastern airline for what seems to be the third or fourth time. 
  4. This is followed by the classic sketch with Piscopo as Sinatra and Eddie as Stevie Wonder where the two sing their version of Ebony And Ivory.
  5. We then get another installment of I Married A Monkey where Sweetchuck's monkey wife ran off to join the covenant and he and their monkey child try to talk her into coming back home.
  6. We then go to Heaven where Hitler tries to sneak in dressed as Mother Teresa just to get a peek at what it's like up there. The sketch then gets a Monty Python interruption accusing SNL of stealing their style of bit which then sends us into the Twilight Zone.
  7. Not A Record Ad is an ad for something but it's definitely not a record ad.
  8. Olivia Newton-John then returns to the music stage to perform Make A Move On Me.
  9. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Christine Ebersole give us the news with Mary Gross "Out on assignment." This week, Mary Gross interviews "Arnold Schwarzenegger" about the release of Conan only it turns out to be some random guy, we also get a Monty Python ad for their upcoming movie The Secret Policeman's Other Ball, Sweetchuck gets a segment of Looks At Books where he makes fun of self-help books, Olivia Newton-John gets to do a commentary, Piscopo checks in with sports where he shares crazy sports endorsements, and finally, Eddie Murphy checks in give him observations about the upcoming prom night and how it's a night where everyone hooks up in a way to scare the fathers out there viewing the show.  
  10. Michael Davis then takes the stage to perform another comedic juggling act where he juggles ping pong balls with his mouth.
  11. We then go to a business lunch where the guys from the cast talk business while only using jargon and acronyms. 
  12. Next, we got a Grease parody showing how Sandy treats the underclassmen after her cool girl transition.
  13. Sports Organ Classics is a fake ad for a way to bring the ballpark home by selling the music sheet for every generic sports organ song. 
  14. We then get a repeat of The Bird parody called The Clams where a town gets attacked by clams.
  15. Finally, Olivia Newton-John closes the season by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S07E19... HOST: DANNY DEVITO... DATE: MAY 15, 1982

SNL: S07E19... HOST: DANNY DEVITO... DATE: MAY 15, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with an Andy Kaufman wrestling clip showing his first match with a man named Jerry "The King" Lawler that cuts right when he had Andy in a pretty "dangerous" move which I'm willing to bet that they will revisit later.
  2. This week, we're back to the hybrid huddle followed by Danny DeVito's monolog about that fact that his show, Taxi, had just been canceled by ABC. He then reads a note from his mother who slams the ABC network. He also brings out the entire cast of Taxi to allow them their final bow since the cancellation happened out of the blue.
  3. We then get a parody of Taxi where DeVito's character blows up the ABC building. 
  4. This was followed by the next installment of The Whiners where they complain about everything that happens on their plane as they prepare for take-off to start their vacation and DeVito has to put up with all of the noise as he tries to be the best row mate that he can be. 
  5. Next, we go to DeVito's office where he calls to his wife to let her know that he just got promoted to be an executive. He then gets a return call from his wife who sounds like she's having an affair that gets interrupted by Piscopo who drops in to congratulate him and then gets a visit from Eddie Murphy who is there to deliver drugs only all of this chaos turns out to be nothing more than an Executive Stress Test to see if he's ready for such a corrupt job.
  6. The keyboardist of Sparks gives a dissertation on mice before the band hits the stage to perform Mickey Mouse.
  7. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Christine Ebersole give us the news with Mary Gross out on the field. This week, Sweetchuck the scientist gets a segment to talk about the various strains of rabies, Mary Gross checks in from Central Park where she attempts to interview Annie's dog being that this was the week of the theatrical premiere, and "Lou Grant" give us the weather after his show had just been cancelled.
  8. We then get another installment of Solomon And Pudge the bar piano player and local old drunk that discuss the news of the day. There's not really a story to this sketch but I love watching these characters interact. They eventually get a visit from Danny DeVito who joins in on the charming fun.  
  9. Next, we go backstage for an "Ozzy" concert where he pitches Enzo Mouthwash to clean out your teeth after biting the heads off of animals.
  10. We then get a repeat of the America Is Turning Gay ad from a couple episodes ago.
  11. Table Talk is a talk show that takes place at a restaurant where Tony Rosato talks about wine and how to pretend to know what you are talking about where you mainly act like an asshole no matter what they give you to create that expert vibe.
  12. Brian Doyle-Murray then interviews Andy Kaufman about the match from the intro that ended his wrestling career and we get to see how the entire thing played out. Andy also apologizes for all of his antics during his wrestling career.
  13. Looks At Books is another talk show where Mary Gross interviews the author of a book that accused the Beetles of plagiarism claiming that they stole their content from a Nazi vault and shares the parody Nazi-themed albums that show the "original artwork."
  14. Sparks then return to the stage to perform I Predict.
  15. Finally, Danny DeVito closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights after letting his mother curse out ABC.
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SNL: S07E18... HOST: ROBERT CULP... DATE: APRIL 24, 1982

SNL: S07E18... HOST: ROBERT CULP... DATE: APRIL 24, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with a parody of I-Spy where Robert Culp plays a gym attendant that has to deal with a very irritable "John McEnroe" Eddie Murphy then drops in as Billy Cosby and the two have a reunion as their I-Spy characters which is a show that allows sounded fun when I heard about it but I don't think I've ever seen a single episode so I missed out on a lot of the jokes but I did get the jokes about how Bill Cosby was willing to tie his name to any product that offered. I also loved the guest visit from The Greatest American Hero which was a show that I loved as a kid.
  2. Once again, we skip the huddle and Robert Culp gets an opening monolog where he ignores the advice from the writers to skip the monolog and goes on to read off one joke from an index card missing all of the proper inflections.
  3. Middle Age Of Aquarius is a fake ad for an album for the hippy generation now that they have sold out.
  4. We then go to Piscopo's hotel room where he is in town for a convention. Brian Doyle-Murray then enters and tries to get Piscopo to hit the bars but he's reluctant because he's married. The bellhop then joins the conversation and says he has connections to a real party girl who ends up to be a mother type who gets the guys into playing party games for children and isn't a prostitute at all. 
  5. The Charles Daniel Band then hits the stage to perform Still In Saigon.
  6. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Christine Ebersole give us the news with Mary Gross out on assignment. This week, Sweetchuck gets a segment where he discusses the crazy names given to children at the time, Mary Gross checks in from in front of the ABC building when she was supposed to go to CBS luckily the buildings are only two blocks away from one another so she rushes to the proper location to report on her new record for getting from one building to the next, Piscopo gives us the sports, and Eddie Murphy gets a segment where he responds to a racist joke that he overheard in the hallway and claims that it's actually whites who are more monkey-like.
  7. We then go to a room where Robert Culp is leaving after a one-night stand. After he leaves we cut to the inside of the uterus where we witness Sweetchuck as a sperm trying to pick up on Mary Gross who is playing the egg and we eventually meet a second guys sperm which causes Sweetchuck sperm to lose interest because of her slutty ways.
  8. James Brown Is Annie is a sketch where all you need is the name to figure out what is going on and of course, Eddie Murphy plays James.
  9. We then go to a "Sunken Submarine" that's been pinned to the bottom of the sea for months where we get to see how crazy the isolated crew has grown to be. The captain thinks that the sub is still functional because it is supposed to be submerged but he also dresses like a lady.
  10. We then get a repeat of the Babies In Makeup sketch in this episode that barely has any content to begin with. That said, I do like how Mary Gross introduced it pointing out that people complained about it and pretty much said, F-YOU we're doing it again rather than run away from any controversy which is the current way of the day.
  11. Happy's Mayonnaise Palace is a fake ad for a mayonnaise-themed restaurant being pitched by Eddie Murphy. 
  12. The Charles Daniel Band then returns to the stage to perform The Devil Went Down To Georgia.
  13. Finally, Robert Culp closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E17... HOST: JOHNNY CASH... DATE: APRIL 17, 1982

SNL: S07E17... HOST: JOHNNY CASH... DATE: APRIL 17, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with Johnny Cashing performing The Train Of Life complete with comedic interludes and mini vignettes that parody his upbringing.
  2. Once again we're back to the huddle with no monolog approach to starting the show as Johnny Cash poses with the cast before transitioning into the first official sketch.
  3. The Honeyrooneys is a parody of the Honeymooners only "Andy Rooney" plays the part of Ralph Kramden and Eddie Murphy as Ed Norton. Ralph Rooney isn't all that grumpy but loves to share his observations.
  4. Elton John then takes the stage to perform Empty Garden.
  5. We then go to death row where Eddie Murphy is being given his last rights when the guard interrupts to get the show on the road. Eddie then pretends to lose his contact lens to try and stall but it doesn't work. His final attempt to stall is to request a personal show from Johnny Cash and is stunned to find that he is readily available and willing to perform. The song he requests is the uncut version of 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall which Cash explains was actually 999,999 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall that takes him forever to perform keeping Eddie alive for a few more days but they still end up executing him.
  6. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Christine Ebersole give us the news with Mary Gross "Out on assignment." This week Mary Gross checks in from Russian as she tries to hunt down the Red Scare, Sweetchuck plays his scientist character who gets a segment on different types of amputation and we got an update from Eddie Murphy on the backlash caused by the Larry The Lobster stunt. Eddie reads a letter that gets a little racist say that the person didn't know "You People" ate seafood so to prove that they do, he eats a lobster on air claiming that it's Larry. 
  7. Johnny Cash then takes to the music stage to perform I Walk The Line, Folsom Prison Blues, and Ring Of Fire back to back to back.
  8. Once again we see through Ronald Reagan's point of view as he works through his Trump-like decisions as he delusionally works through a conflict between Margaret Thatcher and the President of Argentina.
  9. Tonight's home movie is called Jay Clay Gets Depressed and is a claymation short about the Fracas troll is depressed and tries to hang himself only the fact that he is made out of clay makes his head get ripped off by the noose and ends up sticking to his butt which causes him to get a new outlook on life.
  10. We then get a fake ad for Tegrim Shampoo the dandruff shampoo that works so well you can shake your hair over Johnny Cash, without worrying about peppering his all black outfit with your dead skin. 
  11. Elton John then returns to the stage to perform Ball And Chain.
  12. We then go to a modern commuter train where Johnny Cash talks to Brain Doyle-Murry about his love of trains as The Train Poet, while Doyle-Murray just wants to read his paper.
  13. Black Talk is a quick talk show segment hosted by Eddie Murphy who gossips with his friend who looks like Young MC, but doesn't allow him to get a word in because he's talking at him, not with him.
  14. Johnny Cash then returns to the music stage to perform Sunday Morning Coming Down.
  15. Finally, Johnny Cash closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E16... HOST: DANIEL J. TRAVANTI... DATE: APRIL 10, 1982

SNL: S07E16... HOST: DANIEL J. TRAVANTI... DATE: APRIL 10, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with we start in a restaurant kitchen as the waiter and chef pick put a lobster to cook for a customer. Just as the cook goes to pot the lobster into the boiling water, Eddie Murphy steps in to save him. He then gives a spiel about how it's wrong to cook a lobster alive and then puts the life of "Larry The Lobster" into the hands of a voting home audience using a 1-900 number the way a current show would use Twitter for a live vote.
  2. And, we're back to skipping the huddle as we go straight to Daniel J. Travanti's opening monolog where he talks about his TV role as a cop and then goes on a ride along with a real New York City cop and finds out how mundane the job is compared to the scripted world of TV. They do attend a domestic dispute in progress but when the fighting couple notices Daniel they get so excited by his stardom that they stop to ask for an autograph before getting right back into their fight.  
  3. We then get introduced to the Whiners who are a couple that whines about everything. In this installment, they are at a crowded restaurant to celebrate their anniversary where they get special treatment from being such squeaky wheels. 
  4. Next, we go to a celebrity impersonator agency where Christine comes in claiming to have the best Ethel Merman. The agent then points out that everybody does an Ethel Merman impersonation then has everyone in the room do their Merman impersonation, including Eddie Murphy who is just there to deliver lunch. The agent then breaks the scene and heads into the audience to prove that literally, everyone does a Merman impersonation.
  5. This was followed by a Larry The Lobster update where the vote to Save Larry is 56,893 and the vote to Kill Larry is 65,743.
  6. John "Cougar" Mellencamp then takes the stage to perform Hurts So Good.
  7. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Christine Ebersole give us the news with Mary Gross out in the field. Again, the lack of consistency is getting annoying. This week, Mary Gross interviews the closest that SNL has ever had to an Asian cast member who claims to be Prince Andrew, Tony Rosato get a segment where he play the announcer for the Emergency Broadcasting System as he freaks out about the potential end of the world, and once again, Piscopo gives us the sports but is frozen over so can't say a word. The news ends on another update on Larry The Lobster where the vote to Save Larry is 116,207 and the vote to Kill Larry is 123,074.
  8. We then get a parody of Hill Street Blues where Daniel is in bed with his wife talking about their day. We find out that this bed is actually located in Daniel's office and not in an actual room making it impossible to separate his outside life from his work life. Though the concept is funny, anything outside of the bed feels like it could be a real episode of Hill Street Blues which is also fine but it seems to go on forever.
  9. Once again we get a Larry The Lobster update where the vote to Save Larry is 184,316 and the vote to Kill Larry is 171,717. During this update, we also get to learn a little of Larry's life story.
  10. Bavarian Butterfly Dance is a short black and white film showing two guys doing a weird dance with a stool. I don't really get the meaning behind it but I kind of like it.
  11. Career Corner is a talk show where Eddie Murphy gets interviewed about his career as a Tooth Fairy.
  12. We then get another update on Larry The Lobster where we get to see the luxurious life for Larry if the audience votes for him to live.
  13. Next, we go to a family's house who are struggle do to the economy. Reagan then steps in to explain the benefits of Trickel Down Economics where the parents spend all that they earn on themselves and that their children will eventually reap the benefits, only when we cut to the family in the future, we find out the kids are dead but the parents are better off.
  14. John "Cougar" Mellencamp then returns to the stage to perform Ain't Even Done With The Night.
  15. We then get the final update for Larry The Lobster where the audience decided to let Larry live with a vote of 239,096 to 227,452. Which is something I never thought would happen, especially with SNL's history of killing animals on live TV.
  16. Finally, Daniel J. Travanti closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E15... HOST: BLYTHE DANNER... DATE: MARCH 27, 1982

SNL: S07E15... HOST: BLYTHE DANNER... DATE: MARCH 27, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with a fake ad for Alpo hosted by "Lorne Greene" who gets attacked by the dog because it turns out he is the meat dogs love. 
  2. We then get a very brief huddle before we get a cheesy "80s transitional edit that brings us into Blythe Danner's monolog where she is interrupted by Mary Gross who mistakes her for a different actress. The two then have an impersonation off as a way to deal with the awkwardness only it because more awkward when Mary Gross gets too into the role.
  3. We then get a fake ad for a cola that has a theme song called America Is Turning Gay
  4. We then go to a house where two couples are having dinner when one of the couples announces that they have more time for hobbies now that they decided to become celibate. When the other couple asks why, we find out there was a huge misunderstanding and that they weren't actually on the same page but instead gave up sex because they thought the other person wanted it so they rush through the meal so they can get caught up on all they sex they missed out on as soon as their company is gone. All this while getting super sexual with their food.
  5.  This was followed by a parody of 20/20 where Geraldo Rivera does an investigative piece on a local hospital and make outrageous claims about standard procedures while Blythe Danner is trying to give birth.
  6. We then get a repeat of the fake ad for Khaddaffi Jeans.
  7. Next, we meet a reclusive poet who shares a tale with her mom about the afternoon when she ventured out of her room. Eddie Murphy then breaks into the house to rob them but the poet turns him into a romantic hero of her shut-in little world and then goes on to share one of her poems. Eddie is actually aware of her work as he is playing the, "Kill My Landlord," poet from a sketch called Prose And Cons. 
  8. Rickie Lee Jones then takes the stage to perform Pirates (So Long Lonely Avenue). 
  9. We then go to a fake ad for the return of the '50s mentality as the '80s start to deal with the same cyclical issues that are returning once again today.
  10. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray gives us the news with Christine Ebersole "filling in" for Mary Gross. The inconsistency in the news anchors is getting annoying because I can't help but think that there is some kind of behind the scenes nonsense going on since Christine definitely seems to be getting special treatment when she not really all that good. That said, she is a better anchor than a sketch performer.
  11. Michael Davis returns to the show for yet another comedic juggling routine.
  12. We then get another installment of The Uncle Tom Show where this week Uncle Tom Snyder interviews Gumby, in an introduction of Eddie who coins the catchphrase, "I'm Gumby damn it."
  13. Meet The People is a panel show where regular American get to ask the special guest whatever they want. This week's special guest is Princess Diana and the questions were pretty strange. 
  14. Blythe Danner then begs for help from the audience as a struggling artist almost as if it were a Kickstarter video from the day. She's doing so because of Reagan's cuts to the arts. We then see that she's been forced to take the role of a tuna for a TV ad because she can't make any money from plays.
  15. Rickie Lee Jones then returns to the stage to perform Lush Life as well as Woody And Dutch On The Slow Train To Peking. 
  16. Finally, Blythe Danner closes the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S07E14... HOST: ROBERT URICH... DATE: MARCH 20, 1982

SNL: S07E14... HOST: ROBERT URICH... DATE: MARCH 20, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts in the make-up room where Robert Urich overhears the girls from the cast refer to him as the poor man's Burt Reynolds which starts to mess with his confidence to the point where he sees an image of a floating Burt Reynold's who advises him to just give in to the comparison and host the show as him. 
  2. The opening montage actually treats it like it's a Burt Reynolds episode to the point where even the announcer introduces Robert Urich as Burt. There's no hurdle but there's also not really a monolog but an introduction for Buhweet and De Dupreems.
  3. Buhweet and De Dupreems then take the stage to perform a medley of Motown songs.
  4. We then get a repeat of the Reach Out And Touch Someone fake ad that reminded me of M. Night Shyamalan movie, The Visit.
  5. Next was a parody of the Paul Harvey Radio News where Piscopo as Paul gives up a breakdown of the news of the week in that Paul Harvey way.
  6. This was followed by another segment of Focus On Film where Eddie Murphy interviews "Burt Reynolds" about his career and criticizes him for his choices but then eventually finds out that he is actually Robert Urich who then has to explain who he is.
  7. We then get a fake charity ad for Buy A Bullet For A Hungry Kid which is kind of self-explanatory.
  8. Once again we see through Ronald Reagan's point of view as he gets briefed on the latest issue in El Salvador. We then learn that actually acted on his own and fired Dr. Strangelove to his cabinet and we learn his plan of attack, unable to hide his Nazi past as well as his love of the bomb.
  9. Mink De Ville then hits the stage to perform Maybe Tomorrow.
  10. We then meet some city hunters who kill rich people for their fur coats in a short film called, Fur: You Deserve It.
  11. We then get a fake ad Golden Age School Of Obedience a school for teaching old people how to be seen and not heard when the time comes that they have to move in with their children, but mainly it's just a sketch about elderly abuse where they don't really seem against it.
  12. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross give us the news and again they are continuing on with the whole relationship thing that I feel distracts from the actual news. This week Sweetchuck does a science segment on phobias. 
  13. We then meet a married couple who are discussing the potential of their unborn child. These are the type that will put a pair of headphones to up to the wife's belly to boost its potential to learn. First, we find out this that the embryo was implanted, then we find out that there was a mix-up at the hospital and that they accidentally implanted a koala embryo which starts the argument as to whether or not to keep it and they decide to give it a shot.
  14. Headline Challenge is a game show where people who were in the headlines the prior week have to guess the identity of the start of the latest scandal, in a To Tell The Truth-like format.
  15. Low-Class Italian Theater is a segment where a group of Jersey Shore Italians put on their version of Hamlet.  
  16. Mink De Ville then returns to the stage to perform Love And Emotion.
  17. The Thing That Destroyed Tokyo is a Godzilla-like home movie where a giant hammer is the monster who destroys a train set city.
  18. Brian Doyle-Murray then takes the stage for a tribute John Belushi and shares a touching story about how Belushi saved his life when he first moved to New York when he was out showing him around.
  19. Finally, Robert Urich closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E13... HOST: ELIZABETH ASHLEY... DATE: FEBRUARY 27, 1982

SNL: S07E13... HOST: ELIZABETH ASHLEY... DATE: FEBRUARY 27, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with a segment of CBS Evening News where "Dan Rather" when Brian Doyle-Murray steps in as the director with notes to try to get him to lighten up a little and be more fun like the news we are used to today that's more about the personality than the news. They go as far as giving him a make-over to where he become Walter Cronkite. 
  2. This was another week where the host got a monolog without the dumb huddle. Elizabeth Ashley shares the first letter that she wrote home to her mom back when she was just 18 and moved to New York to start her acting career. This note highlights how much of a naive country girl she was at the time.
  3. We then start to get a fake pitch from Eddie Murphy for a giant plastic bubble designed to protect your house from corrosion caused by the environment. Just before we get told the part where he tells the audience where they can buy this product, he switches his tone as he begins to criticize anyone dumb enough to believe a product like the Big Damn Plastic Bubble could actually work.
  4. Speaking As A Woman is a roundtable talk show where Sweetchuck discusses women's issues with celebrity women from the time who had just written a kiss and tell book. I could see the jokes being better back when the people being referenced were actually still stars. 
  5. We then go to the Vatican where the Pope and his people talk about his upcoming African Tour where they treat it like a traveling play. We then flash into Sweetchuck's mind as we see how he images that this tour will play out with the Pope acting like a total diva.
  6. Hall And Oates then hit the stage to perform You Make My Dreams.
  7. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross give us the news and it's just normal, no subplot where the two are in love, they just give us the news the way the segment is supposed to be done. Not that the whole romantic interests was out of line it was just too much of a sketch within the news that I felt deterred from last week's segment. I take that back, the segments ends with two talking about hooking up 
  8. We then go to some old lady's house as the cops arrive to deal with a hostage situation where Eddie Murphy is holding Elizabeth hostage and is only demand is to get an audition with Joseph Papp, whoever that is, which leads Eddie and everyone other than Papp to put on an impromptu show where they sing I'm The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General. He gets the part after Papp asks if the gun is actually loaded then Papp calls for the next hostage holding auditioner.   
  9. Hall And Oates then return to the stage to perform I Can't Go For That (No Can Do).
  10. Harry Anderson then returns to the show to do another comedy/magic routine.
  11. We then go to the bedroom at a teenager's party where the girls sneak away from the action to talk and one of them pulls out a joint. This doesn't really add to the sketch as the smokers quickly leave and we get more stereotypical girl talk. We then go to the same room in the future where the women have pretty much the same conversation but their older age gives them an extremely different response highlighting how optimistic we are in our youth.
  12. We then go to an operating room where the surgeons lose a patient then decide to have a Loewenbrau Night to cheer themselves up.
  13. Once again, Hall And Oates return to the stage to perform You've Lost That Loving Feeling.
  14. Finally, Elizabeth Ashley closes the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S07E12... HOST: BRUCE DERN... DATE: FEBRUARY 20, 1982

SNL: S07E12... HOST: BRUCE DERN... DATE: FEBRUARY 20, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show we start backstage as the host, Bruce Dern, gets his cue as to when to head on to the stage after his name is announced. He seems a bit nervous as he gets encouragements from the cast. He stops Sweetchuck and compliments him for how great he is on the show only to go on to bash him for being old and funny looking to the point where he becomes a bully. 
  2. Once again we get the dumb opening huddle only this week it's a bit of a hybrid because Bruce does a bit of a monolog while the cast hangs out around him. 
  3. We then go to Bruce Dern's Apartment where he and Piscopo are preparing to head out for the weekend to ski. Piscopo leaves to get his things and Dern gets a call from his date who is calling to cancel. Mary Gross then knocks on the door as a neighbor who asks Dern to move his car and he decides to ask her to come along. She says she's too busy to go but then ends up suggesting he take her crippled dog named Fluffy that suffers from a laundry list of ailments including an iron lung.   
  4. This was followed by a man on the street interview segment where they ask passers-by, "Who do you hate?" Where we get a bunch of interesting answers.  
  5. Focus On Film is a segment with Eddie Murphy as his film critic character from the news who discusses a recent trip to see a Goldie Hawn movie with his friend but ends up talking more about the movie going experience without making a single reference to the actual film.
  6. We then revisit The Bizzaro World where everything works the exact opposite from the way things work on Earth. In this world, we get to see a performance by Bizzaro Rodney who brags about how much respect he gets but even in Bizzaro World NBC manages to be run the same horrible way. In the sketch, they make a joke about how bad of an idea it was to take Letterman from his horrible morning show to make him the star of Late Nite.    
  7. Luther Vandross then hits the stage to perform Never Too Much.
  8. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross gives us the news and they continue the joke from last week where they are now a flirting couple. This week, we get a traffic report from Christine who is so excited about being in a helicopter that she doesn't get to a single report and Piscopo gives us the sports. 
  9. Schleimer And Laub are a pair of old-timey songwriters who collaborate to put together a few tunes to be sold to vaudeville acts. It eventually evolves into another way to crowbar in more singing from Christine. 
  10. We then go to a diner for a segment called The Mild One which is a parody of The Wild One only instead of two wild bikers we meet to bikers that are extremely mild and who feed off their friendly interaction with the customers who have prejudged them. This approach reveals who the real monsters are as everyone else seems to be filled with hate.
  11. Next, we get a short film called Fracas, which is a classic stop motion film featuring a claymation monster who prank battles with a human as he tries to start his day. 
  12. The Unstable Pilot is a sketch about an alcoholic pilot who becomes mentally unbalanced the drunker and drunker he gets and his ability to fly matches the swings of his mood. 
  13. Luther Vandross then returns to the stage to perform A House Is Not A Home.
  14. Melina's Cafe is a sketch that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet. Not only couldn't I find a clip but I also couldn't find a single description so I have no idea what this actually is.
  15. Finally, Bruce Dern closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E11... HOST: JAMES COBURN... DATE: FEBRUARY 6, 1982

SNL: S07E11... HOST: JAMES COBURN... DATE: FEBRUARY 6, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. It looks like they are back to consistently starting the show with an opening sketch. This week's show starts with the celebration of Ronald Reagan's 71rst birthday as "Frank Sinatra" sings a medley of Reagan-themed Sinatra tunes.
  2. Of course, we also go back to the opening huddle after skipping it the only week where it actually would have made sense.
  3. James Coburn is one of the rare guests from the season to get a monolog where he and Eddie Murphy discuss the post-show party. Eddie asks James to order his drinks being that he was only 20 at the time. Coburn then advises Eddie on how to order with confidence to avoid the need for a fake ID.
  4. Reach Out And Touch Someone is a fake ad for phone service where an old couple discusses letting what looks to be their grandson call home only it turns out to be a ransom call.
  5. I Married A Monkey returns for another installment, this time the monkey is cheating on Sweetchuck with James Coburn while on their family trip to Disney World.
  6. Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood also returns for another installment, this time Mr. Robinson talks to Mr. Landlord about getting his heat turned on and we learn the meaning of the words Mutha and Pyromaniac and his "Mean Mutha" friend sets fire to the landlord's apartment allowing Mr. Robinson to warm up.
  7. We then get a fake ad from Jerry Falwell's Jesus In Blue Jeans which is a religious themed rock album minus any edge that I think actually exists now without being a joke.
  8. Lindsay Buckingham then hits the stage to perform Bwana.
  9. Christine and Mary are at a bar waiting for James Coburn when Christine admits to having a crush on him. Mary warns Christine not to waste her time because James is a homosexual then goes on to point out all of the signs. Her signs are so off that it doesn't come across as homophobic which isn't really what I would expect from that time. The sketch ends with Eddie and James leaving together and a hint that Mary and Christine are also hooking up but again, not in an offensive or homophobic way. Good on you 1982!!! 
  10. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray gives us the news. This week, Eddie Murphy ask the question why there aren't any black people on TV anymore, and they toss Mary Gross another bone and allow her to review a book about what happens after you die only to be distracted by Brian who finally realizes how attracted he is to her when she's not wearing her glasses which leads to the two making out as he offers to reinstate her as the co-host of the news.
  11. Victims Of 60 Minutes is an expose show exposing what happened to people who had expose segments on 60 Minutes.
  12. We then see through Reagan's eyes as we go to the White House to see how he winds down the evening after his birthday celebration from the opening sketch. James Coburn, as himself, drops b because Reagan wants him to help with the Polish invasion because the characters he's played makes him seem like a perfect fit. 
  13. Lindsay Buckingham then returns to the stage to perform Trouble.
  14. Unique Perspectives is a talk show where we meet a couple of survivalists who pretty much share the same fears of WWIII that survivalists have today, only they're just into building their fallout shelter as a way to get chicks if the day ever comes.  
  15. Those Crazy Taboosters is s Leave It To Beaver type school with a family of unibrow having Chucky from Child's Play looking redheads. The neighbors drop by to ask why the daughter won't go out with their adopted black child and think it has to do with the color of his skin but then we meet the redhead dad who looks just like the mom and we, not only find out that they too are twins, but that the daughter is far from being a racist and that the reason for the lack of interest is that she's in love with her father, and the boy's in love with the mother which instantly leads to their discrimination. It's weird, but though creepy, this incestual relationship between this group of freaks seems kind of loving and fun because it's too extreme and cartoony to feel like it is grounded in reality. 
  16. For some reason, they keep giving Christine Ebersole a singing segment at the end of the show. Tonight she sings Don't Let It Show, over images from throughout the season. It may not be nepotism because the producer's last name is missing an "e" but there definitely feels like there is some sort of favoritism going on because at least with Garrett Morris, they attempted to make his singing segments how some type of humor involved.
  17. Marc Weiner then takes the stage to perform a prop-comedy routine where he plays a ship captain who fights a storm caused by a spray bottle and even gets the audience involved. 
  18. Finally, James Coburn closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E10... HOST: JOHN MADDEN... DATE: JANUARY 30, 1982

SNL: S07E10... HOST: JOHN MADDEN... DATE: JANUARY 30, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. Once again, this week's show skips the fake word from the sponsor to go right into the opening sketch where John Madden reports from the Bengal's locker room following their Super Bowl loss. Eddie steps up for an interview and claims it was a mafia fix only to get shot as he tries to state his evidence. Piscopo approaches as a second player who claims this was a suicide even though the murder was caught on film. He also interviews Tony Rosato and again he relies on an accent for his joke. We then get a few more interviews from the rest of the team.
  2. The opening montage finishes on Madden bursting through the screen and gives a Farley-like pep talk as he introduces the show.
  3. We then go to A Team Time Movie that is quickly interrupted by Piscopo as the host who pitches for the Johnny Carson School Of Acting
  4. Next is a fake ad for Betty Beer, the beer for women who want to be assertive (AKA Betty Beer: The Bitches Brew.) Near the end of the sketch when the pitch woman approaches the bar and snatches the first beer in sight, John Madden proclaims, "Hey bitch, that's my Betty," only to quickly be put in his place. Another old guy makes a joke about not knowing why he is in this ad. I have no idea who he is but the audience seemed to love it.
  5. Poetry Corner is a show where John Madden reads some of his football-themed poetry.
  6. The Lou Grant Show is parody spin-off of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
  7. Jennifer Holiday then hits the stage to perform And I am Telling You I Am Not Going.
  8. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray gives us the news with no Mary Gross. This week Tony Rosato has a segment that is once again accent based humor, though she's not a co-anchor, we also get a segment from Mary Gross where she discusses animal control at the rodeo,  
  9. The Uncle Tom Show is a kid's show hosted by Piscopo as Tom Snyder. He wears a big bow tie and smokes while he hosts with segments from Captain Kangaroo, who tells us a story, and Buckwheat, who sings us several tunes.
  10. John Madden then shares an inside story that he witnessed as a football coach as he tells the tale of a play who dropped some change into the toilet on accident then threw in some bills to justify reaching in to retrieve it all.
  11. Jennifer Holiday then returns to the stage to perform One Night Only.
  12. We then go to a meeting between several mafia types where we get to hear a bunch of mob nicknames including several actors named Don. The rest of the sketch is either making fun of the mob or Italians in general, which is just something that I've never been interested in, whether it's attempting to be funny or not. Eddie Murphy then enters the room as this group's Godfather and rattles off a list of nicknames for the newest member of the gang, who for some reason gets shot during the naming process. I'm sure it was clear in the sketch but I got bored and zoned out for a second and don't care enough to hit rewind.
  13. Andy Kaufman then returns to the show to do his mid-career Elvis impersonation and finished his routine by clucking like a chicken to sing his second song. He then selects a couple ladies to join him backstage. We then go to "Elvis's" dressing room where he gets the ladies to wrestle. He then breaks character to explain where he got the concept of his bit while bashing the author of the book that he used as a reference, saying he doesn't believe it to be true.
  14. Christine Ebersole then gets her moment on the stage where she talks about the recent and then through to a short documentary called Super Bowl To Saturday Night Live that follows Madden's journey from the big game to the big show since he doesn't fly.
  15. We then go to a bar where we meet Solomon and Pudge. Piscopo is Pudge who's the house piano player while Eddie plays Solomon the local drunk who shares his crazy views on politics but for the most part, it's just two people having a fun interaction that put a smile on my face.
  16. Finally, John Madden closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E09... HOST: ROBERT CONRAD... DATE: JANUARY 23, 1982

SNL: S07E09... HOST: ROBERT CONRAD... DATE: JANUARY 23, 1982

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show actually starts with an opening sketch!!! Other than maybe one or two times this season, we usually start with a note from the sponsor which I wouldn't mind if it worked more like the old school note that would announce a fake TV show that the SNL episode was interrupting that preceded the opening sketch and not the opening montage. This week, I was excited to see the show jump straight into a parody of The People's Court where a hooker is suing Velvet Jones claiming that his book I Wanna Be A Ho did not work in her attempt to escape her waitressing job. Velvet uses the defense that she didn't read the entire book or else she would've known she was too ugly for this line of work, which is enough evidence to win the case.
  2. Though I was a fan of the old school start, and the fact that the first Don Pardo replacement is back, I was still disappointed by the new monologless introduction of the host where he poses with the cast as if they are taking a yearbook photo before rushing off to officially start the show.
  3. In The News is a news real type story that tells us the history of Liz Taylor that's a bit rude but pretty accurate based on what I know of the situation after reading Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking in the chapter where she talks about her dad. I guess the rudeness was what was supposed to be funny.
  4. Wild Wild Wild West is a parody of The Wild Wild West only with Abraham Lincoln as the star. We then go to a brothel run by Velvet Jones who is also a mad scientist of the time who has created a time machine to escape the oppression from his own time. There's another joke about Grant that runs throughout the sketch but the whole thing is so convoluted and unfunny to me that I'm not going to attempt to explain it. 
  5. The Allman Brothers then hit the stage to perform Midnight Rider.
  6. Babies In Makeup is a short film that is what it claims to be, a bunch of babies wearing makeup only they are in grown-up situations that play out under a pretty interesting song.
  7. For the third time tonight we be a segment featuring Velvet Jones where he announces his early retirement due to overexposure. He then brings out the "I'm from Jersey" guy who had to be retired because they overplayed him to quickly as well.
  8. We then get a pre-news segment hosted by Mary Gross who promotes an upcoming story featuring Lou Costello as a lawyer in court who ends up in a Who's On First type of routine.  
  9. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray gives us the news. Once again, he's on his own following the bone thrown to Mary Gross with the prior news preview segment. This instability in anchors makes me dislike this season's news because it seems like they're being unfair just like when they added Aykroyd with Jane when she was doing perfectly fine on her own. 
  10. Battle Of The Week is a trivia game show between Las Vegas Showgirls and The All-Volunteer Army.
  11. A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney is another installment of the show's parody of Andy Rooney's 60 Minutes segment that is funny but too rapid fire to note everything Andy is noticing but the theme of this week is breasts.
  12. The Allman Brothers then return to the stage to perform Southbound.
  13. We then go to The Nixon Mansion where he gets a visit from G. Gordon Liddy who tries to get Nixon in on his evil plan to get him back into the White House as the president to get back to trying to take over the world. Again, the sketch gets convoluted as we jump back in time to show Eisenhower's scandalous early involvement in this plan.  
  14. Christine Ebersole, who I thought got the gig through nepotism until right now when I looked up her relationship with the producer Dick Ebersol, no "e", does a sketch where she plays her own sister to sing a song while the subtitles make fun of her, like they used to do with Garrett Morris.
  15. The Allman Brothers then return to the stage once again to perform One Way Out.
  16. Finally, Robert Conrad closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E08... HOST: BILL MURRAY... DATE: DECEMBER 12, 1981

SNL: S07E08... HOST: BILL MURRAY... DATE: DECEMBER 12, 1981

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with a sponsored note from The Phone Company where they remind us that they are, "Pretending to make progress so we can charge you more." Again this is only about a fifty-second insert shot that leads into the opening montage. Also again, this reminds me that we are currently living in a repeat of 1981.
  2. Bill Murray then does an old school monolog where he skips the lame group high school yearbook pose with the rest of the cast. In the monolog, Bill introduces us to his good friend Santa Clause and tells us how great he is, being that it's the introduction to the Christmas episode.
  3. Tales Of The Unlikely is an Unsolved Mysteries-style show, where we see an unlikely tale of Libyan terrorist trying to infiltrate the White House as students in their attempt to kill the president and the FBI is so inept they also made their attempt for security clearance. The student thing does end up failing so their second attempt is to dress up as the three wise men and sneak a bomb in as a gift that goes off, injuring an assistant who then gets treated like a hero in the news. Again this seems like a commentary on an event that actually happened because it doesn't seem funny enough to be something they just thought up to be silly.   
  4. We then go to a hotel room where Piscopo as Tom Snyder acts likes he's doing his show after we hear the announcement of his actual show being canceled. He interviews everyone who comes to his room from the neighbor who drops by to complain about the noise to the guy who delivers his food.
  5. The Spinners then hit the stage for a medley of their greatest hits.
  6. Father Guido Sarducci then returns to the show to host a fake ad for MX-5 Tampons that claims to be the tampon of circus stars that will stay in even when one jumps on a trampoline.
  7. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray gives us the news while once again Mary Gross is "out on special assignment. This week, Piscopo give us sports where he shows us a "classic interview" of him interviewing Eddie as Ali. He follows this up with an interview with the Ali in his current condition from that time. We also see Mary Gross's report where she asks kids on the street the meaning of Christmas and their answers sound like they would come from a jaded adult complaining about how commercial the holiday has grown to be. 
  8. Designer Fairy Tales is a segment where "Brooke Shields" reads us a fairy tale leading to the scene as it is acted out. This week's fairy tale is a version of The Elves And The Shoemaker where elves help a flamboyant cowboy design is next fashion line of elf themed clothing that turns out to be the next big thing. 
  9. Michael Davis then returns to the show for yet another juggling/comedic routine.
  10. Bill Murray then sits down with Father Guido Sarducci to discuss what he's been up to since leaving the show. Sarducci informs Bill that he's become a psychic and they are going to test his ability by reviewing the predictions that he made last year. It turns out that he's way off on everything but claims to be spot on. He then goes on to predict nuclear war in '82 and suggests people invest in shovels and canned goods over gold. He also predicts an earthquake so big it will sink everything in America except for California a reversal of the common fear that I, as a Californian, totally remember as a threat every day.
  11. At Home With The Psychos is Leave It To Beaver meets a Troma movie as we meet a punk rock family that lives next to the nuclear power plant. It's also post-WWIII and the father of the group has a plan to make money marketing cosmetic product for man's newly developed blowhole. The daughter is a blind girl who dreams to be a ballerina, the mom gets random bouts of stigmata, and the boy comes home with a new ideology and is strapped head to toe with bombs.   
  12. A couple gives money to a street Santa which leads Bill Murray to approach as his homeless character who suggests they skip the Salvation Army as the middle and give the money directly to him. The couple then explains Supply Side Economics to a parody song to the tune of It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas, claiming Murray will eventually be trickled down upon. 
  13. The Yale Wiffenpoofs then take the stage and perform a medley of Christmas songs.
  14. Finally, Bill Murray closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E07... HOST: TIM CURRY... DATE: DECEMBER 5, 1981

SNL: S07E07... HOST: TIM CURRY... DATE: DECEMBER 5, 1981

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with yet another lame sponsor announcement from Texxon that shares the message, "We Got Karen Silkwood And We'll Get The Creep At Saturday Night Live Who Writes These Things." I wouldn't mind these if they led into to an actual opening sketch but I hate that it continues to highlight how this season got rid of the "Live from New York..." intro.
  2. Once again, Tim Curry and the cast rush out to the stage to perform this season's dumb yearbook pose that replaced the opening monolog.
  3.  I take that back, this week Tim Curry runs from the group pose to the center stage to open the show with a monolog only to be interrupted by Eddie Murphy who's playing some kind of Stepin Fetchin janitor character because of typecasting limitation. Tim Curry then explains how he can relate because following The Rocky Horror Picture Show he was only offered roles that involved him being in drag. His solution was to never be seen in drag in public to solidify that he is not the actual character from the movie and then advised Eddie to do the same as he slaps on some white face makeup and speaks in the weird black guy doing a white guy tone.
  4. Mick! is a variety show hosted by Tim Curry as Mick Jagger where he sings and dances and does a news stand routine featuring Frank Nelson, who I remember from black and white TV. He also has a segment with "Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop," where he totally makes out with them both before singing another song as the sketch starts to evolve from being conceptually funny to where it starts to drag on and on and on. We also get a drop in from Buckwheat who's promoting his album Buh-Weet Sings. Then "Rip Taylor" makes an appearance to do his prop comedy act which is actually winning me back. I then get lost again as Frank Sinatra comes out to sing a song as the sketch continues to steal time from other sketches being that this sketch is fun but the references didn't really age that well with time.
  5. Eddie Murphy then claims to be Ronald Reagan's illegitimate son and share the story of the day he was abandoned. 
  6. The Trouble With Fred is a short film where we start with a shot of the sky above a like that slowly pans down to reveal that Fred is a frog and he's dead.
  7. We then go to a basement man cave from the time where Frank And Papa drink wine and watch TV. This is another one of those sketches that are accent based because other than Tony Rosato's intense Italian accent and a few cultural cliches I don't really see the comedy. It also doesn't help that can't even understand half the things being said between the accent, outdated slang, and actual Italian being used.
  8. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray gives us the news with the return of Mary Gross who spent the last two weeks, "Away on special assignment." This week, Mary Gross expresses her gripe about how this isn't an equal partnership and the two go on to pick each other's delivery of the news apart. We also go to London to get caught up with Diane and Charles about the upcoming birth of their child, again mainly focusing on the fact that she so far advanced in her pregnancy that it's impossible to have happened post marriage, Joe Piscopo gives us the news with a drop in from Bryant Gumble, and Eddie Murphy stops by to express his anger toward the moral majority and how they are stopping him from seeing sex on TV when that's how he wants to end his day.
  9. Meatloaf And The Neverland Express then hit the stage to perform Promised Land.
  10. Tim And Meat's One-Stop Rocky Horror Shop is a shop run by Tim Curry and Meatloaf to use the profits from merchandising to make up for how little money they made for actually working on the film. This sketch makes me want to see Meatloaf as a host because he's the most enthusiastic of the actors even including the cast 
  11. Tim Curry then takes the stage to sing The Zucchini Song.
  12. If Reagan Had Survived The Assassination is a CBS special hosted by Dan Rather that must take place in a parallel universe where Reagan was actually assassinated and we get to hear about a world that was run by Bush.  
  13. Meatloaf And The Neverland Express then return to the stage to perform Bat Out Of Hell.
  14. Finally, Tim Curry closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E06... HOST: BERNADETTE PETERS... DATE: NOVEMBER 14, 1981

SNL: S07E06... HOST: BERNADETTE PETERS... DATE: NOVEMBER 14, 1981

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with a reminder from the show's "sponsor" Texxon, "Where Life Is Second Only To Money." There's still no mention of, "Live from New York..."
  2. Again, there's also not a monolog as they are still doing the dumb yearbook photo thing where the host and the cast rush to the stage and pose for a second before starting the show.
  3. Bernadette Peters then plays Betty Boop for a black and white video for The War Department called Johnny Keep Your Gun Clean where she does a Betty Boop song and dance to soldiers about keeping their "guns" clean from STDs.
  4. Escape From Escape From New York is a fake movie trailer for a movie about a theater audience trying to escape the movie Escape From New York.
  5. I Married A Monkey returns for the classic installment that I thought was the only one with Sweetchuck in bed with his bride of a chimp. He tries to save the relationship only to be ignored by the monkey who we find out is a pill popper. We also get another visit from their kid. 
  6. We then get a message to "all the white viewers" from Eddie Murphy about how much money he's making without a college education and how when it comes to talent, you either have it or you don't so if the answer's the latter you may as well just drop out.
  7. Hidden Photo is a Candid Camera parody where they try out a prank in a diner called Hot Fork where they heat up the forks until they are glowing red before giving them to their customers along with their orders of cheesecake. We also meet a blind homeless guy by changing his "Please Help" sign to warn of his vicious dog, and then swaps out the dog for a pig. We also go to an elementary school to prank kids by telling them they are going up for adoption.
  8. Mary Gross and Robin Duke then get a bedtime story where the dad simply states, "Once there was a camel that could upholster furniture," and that's it. That's the sketch.
  9. We then get a teaser that Billy Joel will be performing later from his home studio.
  10. The Go-Go's then hit the stage to perform Our Lips Are Sealed.
  11. Man Ray And Mic is a short film of a dog just sitting there. It's the same dog from the short film where all we did was watch it eat peanut butter. In this installment, the dog just continues to sit and then eventual drops something that it was hiding in its mouth so that it lands right in from of a microphone but the problem is, the quality is so low that I can't tell what this object is.
  12. We then go to Tony Rosato and Christine Ebersole who are doing a sketch about installing curtains. Then the power goes out on the set leaving the actors to have to perform in the dark making all of the curtain rod talk seem extra dirty, enough so to bring in the censor who goes nuts when they start yelling for Dick, the producer Dick Ebersole that is.
  13. Piscopo and Murphy then start to fight over who gets to promote the upcoming Billy Joel performance.
  14. Bernadette Peters then performs a song about masturbation called Making Love Alone.
  15. Billy Joel then hit's the stage to perform Miami 2017.
  16. 42nd Street is a short film that gives us a video tour of the adult entertainment that was available in New York at the time. This evolves into a sketch where Tony Rosato plays a porn producer and Bernadette Peters auditions as if this wasn't porn. She then meets Eddie Murphy who plays Miles Long who gets her to change her mind and then the producer doesn't seem interested because she won't play along with the casting couch rules where everyone keeps telling her that she has to "Feed the bear," and now she's back to not being interested while everyone else is back to having her on board. It keeps going back and forth like this only it seems more inconsistent than funny. 
  17. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray gives us the news on his own. This week they audition David Stockman (Sweetchuck) to be their financial news specialist whose nose grows with each of his lies about the economy and that's it. This was a very short segment this week.
  18. The Go-Go's then returns to perform We Got The Beat.
  19. Nick The Knock is a surreal stage play with Piscopo as a jester who meets a Tinker Bell-like character who give him a poetic breakdown of the importance of truth and then he eats her. 
  20. Billy Joel then returns to perform She's Got A Way.
  21. Rock 'N Roll Heaven Inc. is a company that profits off of dead musicians by taking over their merchandising after death, keeping in mind that this was a time when selling out was a negative thing in music.
  22. Finally, Bernadette Peters closes the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights. 
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SNL: S07E05... HOST: LAUREN HUTTON... DATE: NOVEMBER 7, 1981

SNL: S07E05... HOST: LAUREN HUTTON... DATE: NOVEMBER 7, 1981

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with another thirty-second jab at Exxon where we see the Exxico logo as the announcer reads the tagline, "Stay out of our way or we will kill you." Once again there is no, "Live from New York..."
  2. Also, once again, there is no monolog. Instead, everyone rushes the stage and pose like the picture is going to end up in some sort of yearbook. I hate this approach to opening the show.
  3. This was followed a fake ad for a compilation album made up from all of Bill Cosby's guest hosting spots on The Tonight Show and the album is called Here's Cos.
  4. We then go to Lauren's dressing room because she wants to talk to Eddie Murphy about how great he is and then goes on to ask him to do his Buckwheat impersonation for her and goes on to may more requests for her personal entertainment. She then tells him to wait while he changes when Eddie is joined by the ghost of Joe Piscopo who warns him against trying to hook up because she is way out of his league.
  5. Next, we go to the White House where we see through Reagan's point of view as his people prepare him for everything he has to say in an upcoming speech because he thinks he's acting in a movie called Hail To The Chief.
  6. We then get a fake ad for TransEastern Airlines that jokes about how horrible airlines treat people while smiling. 
  7. We get yet another fake ad for Whisper Bubble Bath the bubble bath that's powerful enough to allow you to do dishes while you bathe.
  8. Rick James And The Stone City Band then hit the stage to perform Give It To Me Baby.
  9. This week's Cheap Laffs rejected sketch is American Jigaboo that was thought up because Lauren Hutton was in American Gigolo but it's an ad for toilet paper that I don't really get
  10. Once again, Brain Doyle-Murray give us the news without Mary Gross, though it's sort of sad to see the change, it is a bit of an improvement. This week, Brian interviews Lady Diana who is too far along in her pregnancy for having just gotten married a month ago, Ted Koppel drops in for a segment about troubles in the Middle East and interviews the Prime Minister of Israel, and Eddie Murphy discussed his new experience of living out on his own in his brand new apartment.
  11. We then get yet another fake ad for Harlequin Romances For Men. We then see the story as it's acted out where the women act like men and the men like women so it's not technically role reversal.
  12. We then get a break from the fake ads when we get a fake talk show called Reach Out where celebrity guests reach out to the audience to offer advice, only the guest's lives are too "Hollywood" to be able to relate to anyone.
  13. Then we go back to the fake ads for Velvet Jones School Of Technology where Velvet Jones pitches his new program for pimps called 12 Easy Ways To Stomp A Ho.
  14. We then go to a science lab where Piscopo talks about the good days when there was actual cocaine in Coca-Cola and gives what seems to be a pretty accurate breakdown of why this changed while stock footage play to make it funny.
  15. William Burroughs then give a spoken word performance about a visit to the hospital. Though I know Burroughs came first, it reminds me of Spalding Grey.
  16. We then get a repeat of Push Button To Explode Building which is pretty self-explanatory.
  17. Bitter People is another fake talk show where Mary Gross interviews Piscopo and Pat Cooper as he bitches about the pecking order in Vegas.
  18. Rick James And The Stone City Band return to the stage to perform Super Freak.
  19. Art Is Ficial is a black and white short film that follows some guy in Europe as he goes about his bizarre day, mainly making fun of the conventions of the foreign genre.
  20. Finally, Lauren Hutton closes the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S07E04... HOST: DONALD PLEASENCE... OCTOBER 31, 1981

SNL: S07E04... HOST: DONALD PLEASENCE... OCTOBER 31, 1981

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with Donald Pleasence in the men's bathroom. He's nervous about hosting the show and practices saying, "Live from New York..." even though the opening call hasn't been used once this season. Eddie enters and heads straight to the toilet to throw up. He advises Donald that vomiting his common practice amongst the cast to deal with the pressure. As soon as Eddie leaves, Donald decides to give it a shot, just as John Belushi exits one of the occupied stalls. He doesn't say a word, he just stares into the camera as we go into the opening montage again, with no, "Live from New York..."
  2. Once again there isn't a monolog, instead, Donald Pleasence and the rest of the cast rush to the stage and stand like they're posing for a yearbook picture. No one even says a single word. They just stand there like a group of idiots for a beat before jumping into the first sketch.
  3. We then go to a BBC show called Profiles In British Courage where we meet a soldier who had his arm shot off during battle but barely notices kind of like a poor man's version of the "Tis just a flesh wound," joke from The Holy Grail highlighting how much the British don't want to be a burden and how that is mistaken as courage. We then see a very sloppy leg amputation.
  4. Next, we go to Central Park where we see a man out for a job he runs under a bridge and finds his foot stuck in goo and then we see several other trapped joggers. This is when it's revealed that this is actually a fake ad for the Jogger Motel which is playing off of an old Roach Motel ad.
  5. We then get a fake movie trailer for Two Faces Of Jerry which is a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde type tale with Piscopo as serious telethon Jerry and Eddie as the rambling weirdo side.
  6. This is followed by a parody of a country song about a woman who just killed her husband called I'm So Miserable. In the video, Christine Ebersole sings while trying to clean up the mess as her husband lies on the table with a knife in his back.  
  7. Pumpkin Carving is a short film that treats pumpkin carving as if it were a horror scene in a movie with blood and guts in place of the seeds.
  8. Eddie Murphy then plays a Guardian Angel who gives self-defense advice on how not to get your necklace robbed by wrapping the necklace around your face so that the medallion looks like snot. 
  9. Michael Davis returns to the show to perform another juggling/comedy routine where he loads apples filled with razor blades in the name of Halloween and then juggles them with a third safe apple that he takes bites out of as he goes. Though the safe one is a bit larger, the first bite is still pretty intense.
  10. Once again, Brian Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross give us the news only Mary is "out in the field." This week, as I said, Mary is out in the field where she interviews Frank Sinatra about a controversial Reagan created bill, we go back to the ex-model weather lady, and Eddie talks about why black people love horror movie because they like watching rich white people get killed. 
  11. We then go to a public access jazz-themed show called Tales From The Hip where and old hipster discusses the origins of an old song that leads to the musical telling of Macbeth. 
  12. Fear then hits the stage to perform I Don't Care About You.
  13. We then go back to the men's bathroom during the intermission for the play Annie where Sweetchuck freaks out after Piscopo mistakes his greeting as a flirtatious advance when he was just saying hi. Eddie Murphy plays a country boy who is just excited to be experiencing life in the city including this major blowout which somehow manages to put everything into perspective and everything gets worked out.
  14. Once again, Piscopo and Mary Gross play a couple getting ready to face the day and they do so by eating their sugar breakfast, that actually has no food or liquids at all. The kids join in just in time to share sugar cubes covered in syrup. They all start out calm but by the end of the sketch, they seem like a bunch of tweakers.
  15. Andy Warhol's TV returns for another segment. This time Andy talks to a bunch of fashionistas about what they plan to wear to an upcoming party and then his head randomly falls off and his body goes about its day. 
  16. Mary Gross reminds the audience that there is a call for home movies and then we get to see one called Wonder Wally as an example of what they don't want.
  17. The Vic Salukin Show is a black and white call in show where the host offer the callers $100 bucks if they can manage to scare him. He gets a bunch of crappy calls and then gives an example of how to do it right by calling a random woman and teller her he shot her son. He then gets a call from a stalker which leads the camera to zoom in on the phone but when it pulls back out we see that our host is dead with what looks to be a brick sticking out of his head.
  18. Fear then returns to the stage to perform Beef Bologna, New York's Alright If You Like Saxophones, and Let's Have A War back to back to back.
  19. We then get a repeat of the Prose and Cons short featuring the Kill My Landlord poem by Eddie Murphy.
  20. Finally, Donald Pleasence closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E03... HOST: GEORGE KENNEDY... DATE: OCTOBER 17, 1981

SNL: S07E03... HOST: GEORGE KENNEDY... DATE: OCTOBER 17, 1981

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with a parody of To Tell The Truth where we have to guess which of the people on the stage is George Kennedy. The two fake Kennedys are Ron Howard and Regis Philbin. We "lose the camera feed" and have to restart only to lose the feed again leading to another restart followed by another camera outage. George Kennedy then rushes to the production booth to find that everyone has had a heart attack so he steps in as a hero to pilot the show. This was the perfect set up for him to announce, "Live from New York..." only it never ends up happening. 
  2. George Kennedy and the cast then rush to the stage where he announces that he's going to skip the monolog in order to get the show on the road.
  3. We then go to another installment of Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood where we meet Mr. Landlord and learn what an eviction letter is as well as what the words Scum Bucket mean. We also go to the land of make believe where citizens from the projects get to ask the president about his policies involving the poor.
  4. Next, we go to Studio 54 where George as himself tries to get in only to find out that he's not on the list because of his age which leads him to sing the tune 53 At Studio 54.
  5. A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney is another installment in the series parodying Andy Rooney's observational segment from 60 Minutes. It's pretty much the same as the last one, funny but not fun enough to note all of his observations, only this week we meet Rooney's wife.
  6. Velvet Jones School For Technology is a school run by a pimp who claims he can teach any woman to "Be a ho."
  7. Harry Anderson from Night Court then hits the stage to do a magic act/stand-up routine!!!
  8. We then get an update from Mr. Bill who is now hanging out in LA and loses everything when Mr. Hand and Sluggo make him buy a ton of cocaine which leads him to decide to move back to New York, only to be eaten up by an earthquake.
  9. Next was a fake ad for Spray-On Laetril a spray-on cleanser that promises to cure cancer.
  10. Once again, Brain Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross give us the news. They're both fine but both are a little too low key and they've yet to establish any chemistry as a broadcasting team. This week, Eddie Murphy does an editorial about how people aren't having as much sex because they've grown to be too picky about appearances. John Candy also drops in to do the weather in what seems to be a rotating cast of meteorologists. Though he's Canadian, he plays a Mexican Weather Man and the segment isn't all that funny but it was a great surprise.
  11. La Cage Aux Folles '81 is a parody reboot of the classic La Cage Aux Folles where the main joke is how funny George looks with this silly recasting.
  12. Up And At 'Em is a short film where we watch a dog eat peanut butter for several minutes which may have been funny a quirky then, but it's lost all of the artistic obnoxiousness to it now that we have YouTube.
  13. We then get a fake ad for Rubik's Teeth.
  14. Miles Davis then hits the stage to perform Jean Pierre.
  15. Next, we go to a Western-like atmosphere where Robin Duke asks a hired hand named Jake about his giant scar. He starts to tell a wild story only to end on the fact that he cut himself shaving. George then steps in as the sheriff and wants to take the land, and Jake steps in to save the day with a theme song of sorts that plays every time he announces that he is Jake The Hired Hand. I don't like Westerns so I don't like this sketch, it just seems to keep going on and on and on. Jake shoots Robin for some reason but she comes back to life only to be shot again. Jake and George then attempt to duel but get distracted in the process and it feels like this sketch is never going to end. Please end this... end this now... Oh, thank you, it's done.
  16. We then get An Editorial Reply were Mary Gross plays Marilyn Monroe and sings Downers Are A Girls Best Friend... I'm not sure what the editorial reply has to do with this when it is more of a parody music video.
  17. George then plays what looks to be a maintenance worker who drops in on a typist for lunch. She complains about trying to figure out the keyboard after being a punch card operator because apparently their keyboards are designed differently. The two then go on to have an everyday conversation, that at best is sort of interesting but it's not funny and fails to be sentimental enough to win me over with its charm.
  18. Finally, George Kennedy closes out the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S07E02... HOST: SUSAN SAINT JAMES... DATE: OCTOBER 10, 1981

SNL: S07E02... HOST: SUSAN SAINT JAMES... DATE: OCTOBER 10, 1981

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. The show starts with a fake ad for Exxico that claims to be, "Yesterday's technology at tomorrow's price." This is another spot that lasts half a minute, if that, then goes right into the opening montage minus the "Live from New York..."
  2. Then Susan Saint James opens the show with a monolog explaining who she is and who she isn't based on who she always gets confused for. She goes on to clear up a few more misconception and rumors. She then tells the crowd that they are going to get to vote on which show that she is known for that they are going to parody.
  3. McDonald And Wife turns out to be the sketch the audience votes for. It's a parody of McMillan And Wife. A show I've always heard referenced in jokes that I don't think I've ever seen. In the sketch, Ronald McDonald and Susan lay in discussing a murder case while making out. 
  4. This was followed by Buh-Weet Sings, the famous sketch where Murphy as Buckwheat pitches an album of his greatest hits.  
  5. We then go to a cube version of Earth for The Bizarro World where everything has developed backward from how things evolved on Earth and we get a few examples of what that would look like thanks to the twisted mind of Mr. Mike who I'm still not really a fan of but I it's still a pretty good sketch.
  6. Next, we have a short film that starts with a shot of a crosswalk button that says Push Button To Cross, above that button is another one that reads Push Button To Explode Building most people press the correct one until a talk guy presses the top button without reading the sign which causes the build behind him to collapse.
  7. We then go to Piscopo and Susan who are on a life boat and sing a fun little song called Here In A Life Boat With You.
  8. We then go to a restaurant where Sweetchuck is waiting for his fiance when he spots a coworker who joins him for a drink and the two discuss how little they know of each other outside of work because he had no idea he's engaged and he has no idea she is suicidal. We then meet Sweetchuck's fiance who is an angry prostitute whose level of class is nowhere close to being acceptable for this establishment. After meeting the fiance, the coworker has nothing to say but, "She's a pig," and of course Sweetchuck gets offended. Susan then arrives as Sweetchuck's mom who is much like his fiance.
  9. Let's See What's Bothering Bob is a short film where we meet Bob and learn what's bothering him in the style of an educational film from the time.
  10. The Kinks then hit the stage to perform Destroyer.
  11. Once again Brian Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross host this new news with a horrible name. This week, we go Senesia following a major flood where they just show footage of the ocean as if the flood was that bad, I don't even know if Senesia is a real place, we get a visit from the news's model turned weather lady, Piscopo checks in with sports and Eddie reads a letter that he received from the president who shares a couple racist jokes.
  12. Christine Ebersole then takes the stage to sing Single Women.
  13. We then go to Daytona Beach where we meet a newlywed couple on their honeymoon vacation and they start to celebrate with champagne. They chug their drinks and jump into bed where we find out Susan is a honeymoon virgin which causes a panicked/dramatic response because Tony Rosato is now feeling extra pressure until she reminds him she can't think he's bad because she has no one to compare him to. 
  14. We then go to a writer's office where Sweetchuck talks about the writing process in a sketch called Cheap Laffs, where he goes on to give an example of a sketch that was rejected as the rest of the cast acts it out. The rejected sketch from this week is for absorbent underwear the soak up any pee that may leak which is something they now sell in the stores. 
  15. The Kinks then return to the stage to perform Art Lover.
  16. Andy Warhol's TV returns for another segment. This week, Andy talks about men wearing makeup as he has his makeup applied.
  17. Tony Rosato then aggressively tries to pick up on a couple women at the bar and it goes terribly wrong. The bartender steps in a suggest that he's doing it all wrong and offers him Alan Alda's Sensitivity Training For Men book that teaches men to be sensitive enough to get the girls since they no longer seem to want real men.
  18. We then get a short film where we see a Middle Eastern man sweeping up around piles of what looks to be office furniture. He picks up a chair to find a dove that was shot through the heart and simply throws it in the trash after looking at for a moment with sorrow.
  19. Finally, Susan Saint James closes the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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