SNL: S09E19... HOST: SEASON FINALE SPECIAL... DATE: MAY 12, 1984

SNL: S09E19... HOST: SEASON FINALE SPECIAL... DATE: MAY 12, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show with "Sammy Davis Jr." complaining to "Frank Sinatra" about not being considered as one of the five hosts of tonight's airing of Saturday Night Live. Sinatra then uses his power to get into Studio 8H but first Sammy has a dance off with a street break dancer before he and Sinatra perform a bit that leads to the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
  2. Billy Crystal, Edwin Newman, Ed Koch, Betty Thomas, and Father Guido Sarducci then all took to the stage to officially open the show but there are so many people they pretty much only have time for introductions before getting into the show.
  3. This was followed by a fake ad for the latest celebrity duet album called I Got Willie... I Got Guido where "Willie Nelson" and Guido Sarducci sing a medley of popular duets from the time.
  4. Mayor Koch then moved into Mr. Robinson's apartment leading to this week's installment of Mayor Koch's Neighborhood where he just plugs his new book until Sweetchuck, as his standards and practices character who normally only shows up during the news, comes in to call Koch out for his shameless self-promotion as an unethical use of air time.
  5. This was followed by a fake ad for Mikko's Got Your Nose Safety Guard to protect kids from the annoying got your nose game after Piscopo accidentally pulls his daughter's nose off for real as he plays the game just to shut her up while complaining about his day at work to his wife, Mary Gross.
  6. Guido On The Street is a segment where Sarducci as passing New York pedestrians random questions and gets a bunch of funny answers.
  7. We then went to a video dating service to see Gary Kroeger's nerdy attempt to get dates with a dating video that's more like an MTV music video from the time that actually works following a couple standard/lame video profiles from a couple sleazy/desperate men.
  8. The Cars then took to the stage to perform Magic.
  9. The Three Stooges then hosted a self-defense class and I don't think I have to explain more than that but it was still a pretty fun, slapstick-filled parody.
  10. Once again, Edwin Newman is this week's guest host of the news where "Dr. Ruth" dropped in to talk about Mother's Day, Sweetchuck's doctor character who shares a bunch of medical disorders that were named after celebrities, and Fernando returns, "a little miffed" as to why he wasn't selected as the news host over the actual retired news anchor.
  11. The Cars then returned to the stage to perform Drive.
  12. Hello, Trudy! then returned for another installment where Belushi and Newman answer calls from the show's one and only viewer named Trudy who has her own agenda no matter what the guest, Edwin Newman wants to talk about. This week, she mainly hung up on whether or not Edwin's hair is real which leads him to talk bad about her which leads her to threaten to stop watching the show which leads Belushi to desperately attempt to win her back being that she is the one and only viewer.
  13. Joel Hodgson then returned to the show for another one of his funny prop comedy/magic routines which mainly focuses on a few rounds of Mystery Date with the audience before getting into his other props.
  14. We then stopped by the top sushi restaurant of the day that's located at the top of the World Trade Center. All of the hosts get a role in this scene as they all as they seem unsure about this latest trend, that is until Godzilla arrives and causes a real scene until Ed Koch bores him to death by plugging his book. This is yet another sketch that I couldn't find anywhere online.
  15. Finally, all the host close the show by thanking the audience and saying their goodnights.
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SNL: S09E18... HOST: BARRY BOSTWICK... DATE: MAY 5, 1984

SNL: S09E18... HOST: BARRY BOSTWICK... DATE: MAY 5, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with Mary Gross talking to Barry Bostwick as she fakes interest in his acting technics in a bit of a flirtatious way. Julia Louis-Dreyfus then enters the scene and is jealous of the interaction. This leads to a simulated catfight between the two in SNL's attempt to win over even more male viewers, of course ending with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
  2. Barry Bostwick then officially opened the show with a monolog about his fear of being pigeon-holed after his recent portrayal of George Washington in a recent miniseries. As he speaks the graphics team keeps overlaying Washington's head over Bostwick so that it looks like the dead president is speaking.
  3. This was followed by a repeat of the Foldger's Crystal ad from a couple weeks about where the pitchman replaces Mary Gross's blood with coffee while she was out cold in the ICU.
  4. We then went to a pre-employment screening sketch where Belushi is hooked to a lie detector to get a job as an interpreter for the FBI and through simple questioning, the employer finds that Belushi had a very crime-ridden past, including that fact that he used to be a Nazi who sells secrets to Hitler clones down in Argentina and he was also involved in the assassination of JFK which actually lands him the job..
  5. Barry Bostwick then plays a frozen greaser who is unthawed after being frozen in the '50s. When the scientists go to dissect him he breaks into singing Waking Up Is Hard To Do. This is one of many sketches from this episode that I couldn't find on the internet so this summary is based on the breakdown I read here.
  6. The Whiners then made their return to the show after winning the 2 On The Town a tour of New York City for being their one millionth guest which sends us outside to see them interact in front of tourist locations all around the town.
  7. We then got a quick interview from Spinal Tap as they are the musical guest for the night so they also got a comedy segment before they performed.
  8. Spinal Tap then took to the stage to perform Christmas With The Devil.
  9. Billy Crystal then returned as his Fernando character as this week's special guest for the news. "Nancy Reagan" also dropped by to share pictures of her and Ronald's trip to China before she reveals that they snuck back a Panda Bear. Fernando and Reagan then ramble on together for what seems to be forever as if it is real life small talk.
  10. This was followed by a parody of The Fly only that start out in a science lab where Robin Duke ends up in a teleportation device and gets her DNA mixed up with a turkey. We then followed her around as her celebrity grows as the Turkey Lady. Once again, this is a sketch that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet so this summary is based on where I read from the link up above.
  11. Future show writer A. Whitney Brown makes his debut to do a bit of a stand-up routine about driving while stoned back at a time when you could joke about that sort of thing.
  12. Following the apparent success of Rick Springfield's singing and acting career at the time, we then got a parody ad for his upcoming role as the lead on the Broadway version of La Cage Aux Folles. This makes sketch number three that I could not find and again the summary is based on my reading from the above link.
  13. Sweetchuck's guru character then returned for another standard but fun installment of Unanswered Questions Of The Universe.
  14. Spinal Tap then returned to the stage to perform Big Bottom.
  15. Dog Day PM was an interview sketch where Belushi plays a dog host interviewing Bostwick, also as a dog, about his film about being raised and mistreated by his human owners and for the fourth time tonight, this is a sketch that I could not find which led me to need to link up above to provide the best summary I could.
  16. Barry Bostwick then closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E17... HOST: GEORGE MCGOVERN... DATE: APRIL 14, 1984

SNL: S09E17... HOST: GEORGE MCGOVERN... DATE: APRIL 14, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts ten years in the future (1994) where Nixon returns to 60 Minutes to reflects on a CBS interview he must had recently done that earned him a very big paycheck. When asked if he had anything to say that was actually true Nixon thinks for a second, turns to the camera and announces, "Live from New York..."
  2. George McGovern then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he had to back out of the presidential race and that he's hosting the show because he really needs the money, following campaign spending then goes out into the audience to beg.
  3. This was followed by a short film called Midtown Open where Piscopo, Belushi, and McGovern play a round of golf on the streets of New York City instead of using a course when McGovern just wants to learn his lines. It turns out that McGovern is actually a ringer when the SNL guys admit to playing for money.
  4. We then got a commercial for White House Food where "Ronald Reagan" pitches a TV dinner called Hungry, Hungry Man Meals with poverty level cuisine from around the world for the impoverished here in America.
  5. Mary Gross then tries to host a date in her one bedroom apartment when the circus folk from downstairs ruin the romance by popping up through a hole in the floor that was cut so they could practice their trampoline stunts. This upstairs-downstairs neighbor feud eventually turns into a gun fight where the trampoline performer gets killed right before we hear the rumblings of the upstairs elephant trainer.
  6. Direct Hits is another fake album ad that SNL seems to love as this was the time when they were ever present on television. This album features songs that promote America's military power through parodies of popular tunes. 
  7. Jim Belushi and Mary Gross then had an apartment date with Eddie Murphy where they try to talk him into a menage-a-trois only to find out that he's already committed to Sweetchuck and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
  8. Prop Comedian Frankie Pace then made his SNL debut where he got to share his latest routine with props that you can get at a dollar store but the audience was having fun, which I'm sure I also did at the time this originally aired.
  9. This week, George McGovern was the special host of the news. Gary Kroeger also got a segment where he was supposed to review a movie but instead blindsides McGovern with a backstage recording of McGovern being a nightmare backstage, Sweetchuck also dropped in as a new character who suggests all kinds of crazy tax refunds to think of during the upcoming tax day which was near, and Piscopo gave us the sports.
  10. This was followed by a parody of Cosmos where "Carl Sagan" tells us of parallel universes before we got introduced to a world where McGovern actual beat Nixon back in '72 and he solved America's problems but I couldn't find this anywhere on the internet so I based this purely on what I've read.
  11. George McGovern then took to the stage with the "Where's the beef?" lady only this time she asks, "Where's the band which led to the performance of Our House by Madness.
  12. Book Beat is an interview show where Piscopo interviews an archeologist who authored a book about an amazing discover who totally outshines the second guest who's archeology book looks like it was written for a child but turns out to be a publicity stunt leading to the box that the first guest was so proud to find.
  13. Robin Duke and Gary Kroeger then played an old couple who have taken in McGovern who plays Gary's loser of a younger brother and it's time they ask him to leave, only it turns out he's the responsible one.
  14. Madness then returned to the stage to perform Keep Moving.
  15. Finally, George McGovern closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E16... HOST: MICHAEL DOUGLAS... DATE: APRIL 7, 1984

SNL: S09E16... HOST: MICHAEL DOUGLAS... DATE: APRIL 7, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with Michael Douglas frantically looking for his script when "Karl Malden" steps in was a replacement script for American Express Traveler's Checks which leads to the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
  2. Michael Douglas then officially opened the show by following the advice that he got from his father, who hosted the show a few years before, to skip the monolog and focus on plugging the movie he is there to promote, which for the most part no hosts at this point, other than a few of the jerks, have done. While sharing a clip of Romancing The Stone, the captioning explains how he has been doing nothing but plugging the dumb movie backstage all week.
  3. Once again, Julia Louis-Dreyfus portrays Nina Blackwood to do a parody of the MTV news with news on John Cougar, and ZZ Top.
  4. This was followed by a fake ad for Foldger's Crystals where that takes place in intensive care and has the pitch man swap out a bag of real blood that was being transfused with Foldger's Crystals which leads to an instant recovery.
  5. MTV News returned for a segment on the crappy garage band from a few weeks ago who were turned down by a talent scout and now have a music video to promote, which is a pretty amazing video for a song called Look At Our Video which is just about how they don't care about the music and that they just want to get rich.
  6. We then went behind the scenes at the Price Waterhouse accounting firm to show how the Oscar winners are actually chosen and it turns out it's all personal opinion and not votes from the Academy as promised.
  7. Four Minutes To Live is a short film where Gary Kroeger is given four minutes to live and tries to fit in as much living as he can only his slow trip down the elevator leads to different plans because first, it takes forever to get there and when it finally does there is a stop on every floor especially after a kid hits all of the buttons. The elevator finally gets to the bottom floor only the doors end up getting stuck.
  8. This was followed by an audition scene where Mary Gross as an adult auditions against a bunch of kids for an Annie-like role in an upcoming movie and is way too explicit in her audition scene while claiming the entire time that she's only seven. She finally admits that she's 33 but her flirtatious audition still got her the part.
  9. Deniece Williams then took to the stage to perform Let's Hear It For The Boys.
  10. Julia Louis-Dreyfus then took to the stage to announce George McGovern as the upcoming host and shows a real of interviews of various reactions to this news.
  11. Michael Douglas was this week's special host of the news and all he does is plug his movie until Sweetchuck's new Hispanic Business character returned with more crazy suggestions of how to clean up New York, and Gary Kroeger dropped in for another movie review, this time it was Romancing The Stone where he admits that he hated the movie purely because his girlfriend thought that Michael Douglas was sexy which triggers a jealous rage.
  12. Footless was a parody of Footloose where the reverend from the town talked all the locals to donate their feet to the Chinese and banned all music leading to a parody theme song performed by "Kenny Loggins." Just like the song earlier, it's a surprisingly good parody considering it's the entire freaking song.
  13. Michael Douglas then plays a man whose life is scored by music and is visiting a psychiatrist because the constant sound is driving him crazy. The therapist suggests having water thrown in his face as the only solution but it only works for a little while. This leads the therapist to introduce him to someone who can help only he introduces him to Robin Duke who suffers from the same problem and the two end up falling in love.
  14. TV's Foul Up, Bleeps, Blunders, Bloopers, Practical Jokes, And Political Debates is a parody of the similar title blooper show only with this new aspect of political debates. Michael Douglas plays his dad and Robin Duke plays Shelley Winters as hosts who share a blooper reel from this year's presidential campaign.
  15. Sugar Or Plain is a short film that starts out with the simple questions about the ice cream that the couple wants and gets more and more intense as the ordering process goes on and on. Sugar or plain is the final question that turns the employees insane and that's when craziness happens.
  16. Deniece Williams then returned to the stage to perform Wrapped Up.
  17. We then got another repeat ad for the Sleep-Boy 2000 that blows up cars in the middle of the night to stop their alarms from squealing.
  18. Finally, Michael Douglas closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights. 
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SNL: S09E15... HOST: BILLY CRYSTAL... DATE: MARCH 17, 1984

SNL: S09E15... HOST: BILLY CRYSTAL... DATE: MARCH 17, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show with a character from Mary Gross who interviews a group of Jewish people celebrating Purim when she was intending to cover the celebration of St. Patrick's Day, but the drinking is still the same. As always, at least this season, the sketch ends with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
  2. Billy Crystal then officially opens the show with a monolog that's more of a stand-up routine about St. Patrick's Day, growing up in New York, and how horny he was during puberty.
  3. We then went to a parody follow-up to the movie Black Like Me called Hung Like Me and follows Mary Gross's transition into becoming Pee-Wee Herman as if in the real world she was actually him in reality, exploring what it's like to be a man.
  4. This was followed by a sketch that took place in a high school classroom where Billy Crystal is pitching Winston University as the college for the children to apply to. At first, the kids seem uninterested, then Billy gets their teacher to leave and tell the secret of the school after warning them that is they tell anyone about it, they will be tracked down and killed which doesn't really scare the kids once they learn that the secret to the college is how they take the money from the parents and split it with the kids and they don't have to go to a single class to graduate with a degree and a decent GPA as long as they don't die for spilling the beans on this scam.
  5. Family In The Attic is a sketch where another Anne Frank type family is discovered in an attic forty years after WWII was over. It turned out that there was a mix-up amongst the hosting family as to who let them out after the war was over. The family in the attic turns out to be so annoying that the hosting family decides to create a lie that the war is still going and barricades the family into the attic after claiming to hear the SS on the move.
  6. We then got to witness a meeting between "Ronald Reagan" and Billy Crystal's version of Sammy Davis Jr to talk about the '84 campaign trail.
  7. Sweetchuck then returned as his guru character where he shares more Unanswered Questions Of The Universe.
  8. Bad Career Moves was an interview sketch where Belushi interviews Billy Crystal as Herve Villechaize about his decision to leave Fantasy Island.
  9. This week, Billy Crystal as Fernando Lamas was the guest host of the news. Robin Duke also got a segment where she gave the audience a Michael Jackson report with all kinds of upcoming crazy merchandising to be released, Gary Kroeger reviewed the movie Splash where his big problem was how her hair covered her breast and Belushi returned as his new rapping character to update the audience on current affairs.
  10. Al Jarreau then took to the stage to perform Mornin'.
  11. We then went to heaven where St. Peter plays a bartender to serve up drinks to famous people throughout history where we see that JFK is freaked out by Gary Hart was doing so good in the polls because he felt he was ripping off his style.
  12. Mary Gross and Mary Louis-Dreyfus then got a commercial where they played a mother-daughter team who were pitching a crazy musical called The Womb that I read was based on a real play that I've never heard of and might have made more sense if I did.
  13. Al Jarreau then returned to the stage to perform Trouble In Paradise.
  14. Billy Crystal then got a moment on stage where he talked about getting dropped from the very first episode of Saturday Night Live and then attempts to do the routine that was cut, only to have it cut again.
  15. Finally, Billy Crystal closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E14... HOST: EDWIN NEWMAN... DATE: FEBRUARY 25, 1984

SNL: S09E14... HOST: EDWIN NEWMAN... DATE: FEBRUARY 25, 1984

The Wicker Breaker:

  1. This week's show starts with Dion and Blair got promoted to work in the SNL hair department. Seeing the last name Newman on the call sheet they assume that the Newman in question was Paul. When they find out it's actually Edwin Newman, Dion gives him options to cover up his thinning hair and has him try on a couple horrible wigs before announcing, "Live from New York..."
  2. Edwin Newman then officially opens the show by starting his monolog only to break away from what he is talking about to correct the cue card guy's grammar before giving us a song and dance.
  3. We then got a repeat of the Buddweiser Hockey ad from just a couple weeks ago.
  4. This was followed by a sketch referring to Jesse Jackson's Hymietown comment that may have lost in the presidency. In the sketch, Eddie plays Jesse who tries to clear things up by singing a soulful tune.
  5. Edwin then drops by a suicide hotline office to pick up his niece, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, for lunch. When she leaves her office to grab a replacement counselor to cover her break, Edwin decides to take a call where he seems more concerned with the caller's grammar in an Eats Shoots And Leaves way, than the fact she's threatening to take her life.
  6. We then got another repeat ad this time it was for an ad called Fur: You Deserve It from at least two seasons ago, where rich people are hunted for their fur coats.
  7. This was followed by a sketch that takes place in a news bar where Edwin and Tom Snyder make a bet that he could turn anyone into a news superstar, kind of like My Fair Lady. After a quick song about poor grammar in modern reporting from Edwin, Snyder is in charge of picking the mark and chooses Brad Hall to add insult to injury that he lost the SNL news role.
  8. Kool And The Gang then took to the stage to perform Joanna.
  9. Speak Freely was an interview show sketch where Edwin Newman interviews Eddie Murphy who is playing James Brown who, of course, rambles through every answer.
  10. This week, Edwin Newman is the guest host of the news. Belushi drops in as his rapping character that he introduced last week to rap about current affairs, Mary Gross plays her agro character who rants and raves about meaningless holidays, and Sweetchuck British standards and practices character returns to criticize Edwin appearance only to get blasted by seltzer water. 
  11. This was followed by a Western sketch where a gang of gunfighters are heading into town and Gary Kroeger plays a young cowboy who seeks the help of old-timer Edwin Newman, a retired gunfighter on how he can plan to stop them which turns into a conversation about height and how he was more of a letter writer than a fighter and won most of his battles by using the law. The bad guys eventually arrive and we see the sloppiest gun draw ever.
  12. Kool And The Gang then returned to the stage to perform Celebration.
  13. Urban Answers was another interview show where Gary Kroeger interviews two street toughs played by Brad Hall who actually tries to sound like a tough guy while Edwin Newman is dressed the part but too proper to pull off the thuggish character he's supposed to be portraying.
  14. Piscopo and Eddie then don old person make-up to have a back and forth about what a nickel used to be able to buy back in the day with very funny examples.
  15. Face The Press is a parody of Meet The Press that turns into a fluff piece after Edwin witnesses Belushi as a mob-related guest violently take out the two other guests who questioned him.
  16. Harry Anderson then returned to the show to perform one of his comedic magic acts.
  17. Jacoby Escort Service was a fake ad for Robin Duke and Mary Gross's cousin built escort service that literally sticks to the escort terms meaning that there is no sex at all.
  18. Finally, Edwin Newman Closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights. 
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SNL: S09E13... HOST: JAMIE LEE CURTIS... DATE: FEBRUARY 18, 1984

SNL: S09E13... HOST: JAMIE LEE CURTIS... DATE: FEBRUARY 18, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with a rap/breakdance routine by Jim Belushi to hype the crowd before rhyming, "Live from New York..."
  2. Jamie Lee Curtis then officially opened the show by explaining that she sent Eddie a note claiming she would claim to the world she was pregnant with his with his baby from when they worked together on Trading Places if he didn't show up for at least one sketch on her night as the host of the show. At first, he seems like a no-show until the moment she goes to make the claim. This is when Eddie rushed the stage, happy to be a father which causes Jamie Lee to backpedal and have to explain it was just a joke and is confused why Eddie is accepting this claim when the two never even had sex.  
  3. We then got a rerun of the Rubik's Grenade sketch from a couple seasons ago.
  4. This was followed by a really fun sketch where Sweetchuck breaks into Belushi's apartment, tags him and proclaims "You're it." This sends Belushi down a self-destructive path as he tries to track down Sweetchuck in hopes to tag him back because no one will even come close Belushi because they don't want to catch his "It."
  5. Jake's Video Hut was a sketch that took place in a video rental store on the grand opening day only Eddie, the assistant order nothing but cult films when the customers want nothing but mainstream films from that time. Thinking quickly after almost losing his job, Murphy comes up with the idea to just act out all the movies being requested on the spot, kind of like the parent idea to the movie Be Kind Rewind only he won't do Eddie Murphy films and passes when Sweetchuck requests Deepthroat and tries to get the owner to fill in.
  6. We then got a repeat of a Texxon commercial that's already run multiple times since it originally aired.
  7. El Dorko returns and this time he wins a date with Jamie Lee Curtis. When all of the characters from the first El Dorko sketch try to ruin the date by making fun of him only their efforts actually backfire and ends up helping him out.
  8. The Julia Show is a talk show hosted by Julia Louis-Dreyfus who is so narcissistic that everything that any of one of her guest says gets redirected to become about her.
  9. Joel Hodgson then returned to the show for another one of his prop comedy/magic routines.
  10. We then got to witness a Ronald Reagan workout where his aging mind gets so easily distracted while trying to ride an exercise bike while watching TV that he has to give up and take a nap.
  11. Belushi and Jamie Lee then met up in her dressing room to go over their lines for a love scene which sounds ridiculous because they are only focusing on the dialog, which is mainly moaning and groaning, with zero effort to rehearse any of their romantic moves.
  12. The Fixx then took to the stage to perform One Thing Leads To Another.
  13. This week, Joe Piscopo gives us the news where he just informs us that Don Pardo is sick and introduces a new Sweetchuck character who is a Latin-American businessman with a bunch of crazy ideas on how to clean up New York and talks like Razor Ramon.
  14. Persons Express was a fake ad for a new airline that provides affordable flight by treating their passengers like freight.
  15. Heart Tartare was a sketch about a horror movie themed Broadway musical that leaves Jamie Lee feeling that it might not have been the best move to promote the image change that she was shooting for.
  16. Where Are They Now? is a TV show sketch that gives us a twenty-year update on Pete Best after being replaced by Ringo as the drummer of the Beatles.
  17. The Fixx then took to the stage to perform Red Skies.
  18. We then got a repeat of Prose and Cons from many seasons ago.
  19. Finally, Jamie Lee Curtis closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S09E12... HOST: ROBIN WILLIAMS... DATE: FEBRUARY 11, 1984

SNL: S09E12... HOST: ROBIN WILLIAMS... DATE: FEBRUARY 11, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a Piscopo sports segment where he's covering the Winter Olympics and claims that bobsledding is the only real sport of the games and goes on to interview the US team, sharing a real clip from a race only with the cast screams of fear replacing the audio all the way down the track. The sketch ends with Piscopo's announcement of "Live from New York..."
  2. Robin Williams then officially opened the show with a monolog/stand-up routine mainly about the Olympics and becoming a father while wearing crazy mom pants from the '80s.
  3. We then went to the classic Buddweiser Light parody ad that takes place at a hockey game and only focuses on the fighting but ends with Williams and Piscopo as toothless rivals enjoying a beer together.
  4. Rock And Roll And Then Some was another classic sketch where Piscopo interviews Eddie Murphy who claims he was actually the fifth Beatle and even provides "evidence" that they were actually ripping him off.
  5. Wild Kingdom Of Heaven was a parody of an evangelist show where Robin Williams plays an animal/pet faith-healer.
  6. Gandhi And The Bandit was, of course, a Smokey And The Bandit parody where Sweetchuck plays Gandhi but looks exactly like his guru character. 
  7. Firing Line was an interview segment where Robin Williams discusses the flammability of black entertainers following the famous Michael Jackson incident as well as the burning of Richard Pryor. In the sketch, Williams interviews Eddie Murphy who is spontaneously combusting as they speak.
  8. We then got a repeat of the Babies In Make-Up music video/short from a couple seasons ago and just is what the title claims.
  9. Brad Hall was then having a bad day that only got worse when his mime of a roommate adds to the annoyance by miming his way through their discussion about Brad's horrible day where he lost both his job and girlfriend before coming home. When Robin Williams as the mime roommate goes into a mirroring routine Brad Hall threatens to kill him because no one would hear him scream. The threat turns to reality and when the neighbors rush in to investigate the gunshot, they're all happy to see that the mime is dead.
  10. New Bad Babies was a sketch where several members of the cast play babies in a giant crib and Sweetchuck joins them as the newest baby of the bunch and Robin Williams comes up with a plot to break-out as if it were jail.
  11. Adam Ant then took to the stage to perform Strip.
  12. Once again, the host of the week hosts the news. Though Brad Hall does get a street interview segment with Belushi who plays a New Yorker who gets mugged an average of every eleven seconds even in the middle of the interview, Robin Williams runs the rest of the show and Sweetchuck got yet another segment to bash the New York Post.
  13. Julia Louis-Dreyfus then played Nina Blackwood, while looking like Denny Dillon, and hosts the MTV News where she interviews a band called The Ugly Sisters Step, played by uglified version of Mary Gross and Robin Duke, who discuss their hideous looks and music career.
  14. Belushi and Williams then play a pair of Siamese twin who attempt to pick up women at a bar as if they weren't connected but can't but to fight amongst one another while trying to do their own thing.
  15. Adam Ant then returned to the stage to perform Goody Two Shoes.
  16. Paula Poundstone then made her show debut with one of her stand-up routines.
  17. Patty's Place was another interview sketch hosted by Mary Gross who first gets confused by her guest then grows to be annoyed as the interview continues to develop because one lives thirty seconds in the past while the other live thirty seconds in the future leaving Mary stuck in the middle and lost.
  18. Finally, Robin Williams closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E11... HOST: DON RICKLES... DATE: JANUARY 28, 1984

SNL: S09E11... HOST: DON RICKLES... DATE: JANUARY 28, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with Ronald Reagan offering the viewers a special set of knives as an infomercial life bonus to those who vote to re-elect him as president before proclaiming, "Live from New York..." 
  2. Don Rickles then officially opened the show by roasting the audience, which included John Madden, Brandon Tartikoss, and the show's director.
  3. We then got a repeat of the Kannon commercial where Stevie Wonder photographs a tennis match.
  4. This was followed by the return of I Married A Monkey where Sweetchuck asks Don Rickles to try to talk sense to his primate wife over relationship issues only to find that the two have been having an affair since the start of the marriage.
  5. The Hamlisch Maneuver was a fake PSA to teach the technique of exposing choke victims to Marvin Hamlisch whose personality and singing can get anyone to vomit as least in the world of this sketch.
  6. Fascinating People And Their Friends then returned where the real Dr. Joyce Brothers and Eddie Murphy's prison poet character discuss his latest book How To Get Girls Using Dynamite. This sketch was apparently pretaped before the first installment of the sketch so that they could pepper in Eddie Murphy sketches throughout the season even when he wasn't actually there.
  7. We then go to the FBI Witness Relocation Center where Don Rickles doubts the department's ability to hide him after he ratted on the mob. His biggest complaint is that their attempt to hide him was to put on a town drunk style cowboy hat. 
  8. Billy Idol then took to the stage to perform White Wedding.
  9. In Saint Don Of Verona, Rickles plays a Friar who in on the balcony with Juliet and insulting warns her to stay away from Romeo while also ripping apart the rest of the population of the town.
  10. Once again, we got the news, only this week, Don Rickles plays the get host which makes two weeks in a row with no Brad Hall even though he's still in sketches throughout the show. This week, Rickles makes fun of people in the news and Sweetchuck got a segment where he plays the President of Standards and Practices who expresses his concerns about the show why roasting Rickles in his own dry British way.
  11. We then went on a sympathy date between Gary Kroeger as "El Dorko" and Juliet Louis-Dreyfus where Julia stops feeling charitable and makes out with Brad Hall mid-date. This gets Gary to make out this Mary Gross as the waitress and eventual Gary ends up sitting with Brad as they watch Julia and Mary a.  
  12. We then went to the ledge where we would normally find Eddie ready to jump only this time it's Don Rickles contemplating suicide. Gary Kroeger then enters the scene as game show host type who introduces Rickles to dead performers from the past in an attempt to talk him into jumping in a segment called This Is Your After Life.
  13. Billy Idol then returned to the stage to perform Rebel Yell.
  14. "David Letterman" then got a chance to promote his upcoming 2nd Anniversary Special that will be aired in place of next week's Saturday Night Live. He has a special guest for the ad in Mary Gross who is dressed as Pee-Wee Herman who makes jokes with a Carson doll.
  15. Finally, Don Rickles closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights. 
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SNL: S09E10... HOST: MICHAEL PALIN... DATE: JANUARY 21, 1984

SNL: S09E10... HOST: MICHAEL PALIN... DATE: JANUARY 21, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts backstage with a confrontation between Piscopo and the make-up guy after he realizes that he was made up to look like Charlie Chan instead of looking like Phil Donahue which is what he expected. As always, the sketch ends with Piscopo yelling, "Live from New York..."
  2. Michael Palin then officially opens the show by bringing out his mother as a gift to her on her 80th birthday. He tries to do his monolog but she keeps interrupting and eventually asks for her knitting gear and book to entertain herself as he attempts to open the show. 
  3. Jim Belushi then played Boy George Burns to promote his upcoming special The Man And His Music by singing Boy George songs in George Burn's voice.
  4. We then took a trip to Mr. Robinson's neighborhood where Mr. Robinson not only introduced us to his new dog but also introduces us to the meaning of the word ransom using said dog as an example.
  5. Joe Piscopo then dresses as Lorne Greene for another Alpo dog food as parody where this time he is pushing Powerful Living, the dog food that allows you to share the word of God with your favorite pet.
  6. Michael Palin then played a landlord who tries to get the couple, that he's showing an apartment to, to ignore the feral man chained to the literal hole in the wall that lives in a giant hole in the wall who comes with the apartment.
  7. We then got a fake ad for a new musical album called Mick Pitwhistle Does It All where Michael Palin plays Mick and does horrible covers of songs from multiple genres.
  8. That's Okay is a talk show sketch where Piscopo interviews three people with amazing personal talents. Jim Belushi claims he can list every state capital in alphabetical order but the host isn't interested in seeing it. Julia Louis-Dreyfus claims she can lick the back of her head and again the host isn't interested in seeing it. Finally, Brad Hall claims he can nail nine-inch spikes into his head and the host is not only interested in seeing this he forces it to happen after Brad admits he was expecting the host to say he wasn't interested. 
  9. This was followed by a short film called Shoplifter where Jim Belushi steals almost everything in a convenience store without the cashier noticing even though they are the only two in the store. When the owner of the store returns to find out that the cashier over charge Belushi for the piece of gum he bought a distraction from his stealing ways, he gets excited to split the extra dim while also not noticing that everything in the store has been taken.  
  10. Would You Believe It? was a futuristic game show that suffers from technical difficulties right out the gate that knocks the show off the air.
  11. The "technical difficulty" was then resolved and we returned to Would You Believe it? that doesn't last long this time either because Michael Palin gets electrocuted while going over the rules.
  12. Joe Piscopo then got a special sports segment to discuss the upcoming Super Bowl.
  13. Would You Believe It? then returned for a third attempt this time we see the interactive game show work where the host asks the home audience 17-2 and it takes the computer forever to collect the answer from an audience member and he manages to get it wrong.
  14. Once again, we got the news, no Brad Hall this week just Sweetchuck as his scientist character to share different types of menopause.  
  15. The Motels then took to the stage to perform Suddenly Last Summer.
  16. House Of Mutton was a restaurant sketch where Palin plays the owner of a sheep themed restaurant that doesn't go over well with the staff or the clientele.
  17. Michael Palin then took to the stage to promote saving the plankton over the whales because of how many planktons die just to feed one whale.
  18. The Motels then returned to the stage to perform Remember The Night.
  19. A Boy's Life On The Mississippi is a Mark Twain tale that plays out to show a young Twain meeting his mentor on an old riverboat who's played by Palin as a very quirky old man.
  20. Finally, Michael Palin closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E09... HOST: FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI... DATE: JANUARY 14, 1984

SNL: S09E09... HOST: FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI... DATE: JANUARY 14, 1984

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with presidential election coverage as Marry Gross and Piscopo announce another interactive stunt called Countdown '84 where the viewers can call in to vote for who they would pick for the Democrat's candidate. Piscopo closes the announcement by yelling, "Live from New York..."
  2. Father Guido Sarducci then officially opened the show with a monolog where he talks about the upcoming election then goes on to do a routine about how Canada is a bigger threat to the US than anyone in Central America based on the fear mongering threats from the day about Central America being extra dangerous due to its proximity. 
  3. Tasteless Choice was a parody ad of the Taster's Choice ad campaign from the time only in this sketch Piscopo admits to sleeping with their daughter instead of the loving couple talk from the real ad.
  4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus then portrays Linda Ronstadt to sing a medley of standard songs, making fun of the real Linda's latest release from the time.
  5. Buckwheat's Ghost then made his debut following "the real Buckwheat" getting shot last season. In the sketch, publishers try to talk Alfalfa into writing a tell-all book or else they won't make a deal. This is what causes Buckwheat's ghost to appear and stop these publisher's evil plan.
  6. We then got an update on the Countdown '84 stunt where at this point the Reverend Jesse Jackson was holding a very strong lead with about ten times the amount of votes than the person in second place. Guido Sarducci also checks in at this time where he admits to preferring MTV voting over the actual election so he throws ZZ Top into the mix and gives out a number for the audience to vote for them as well.
  7. Huey Lewis And The News then took to the stage to perform Heart And Soul.
  8. This was followed by a fake trailer for a movie starring Guido Sarducci called The Man Who Loved Swimmin' where he sits around the pool in his religious garb and has to jump in the pool every time a beautiful woman turns him on because he's that committed to the rules of his religious position.
  9. This was followed by yet another update of Countdown '84. This time Brad Hall is hosting the segment and ZZ Top is now in the lead with almost twice the votes of second place, Jesse Jackson. Guido Sarducci also takes to the street for some man on the street interviews about the vote.
  10. We then got a message from Michael Jackson where he reassures the audience that the lyrics to Billy Jean were not meant as a hint that he got a woman pregnant because "Nice boys don't get women pregnant."
  11. This was followed by yet another hilarious stand-up routine from Steven Wright.
  12. Joe Piscopo then got a segment to talk about the importance of using your Right To Vote only he's talking about their phone vote but also means the actual election.
  13. Huey Lewis And The News then returned to the stage to perform I Want A New Drug.
  14. We then went to an Airport where Guido Sarducci's flight gets delayed which causes him to freak out at the customer service rep who tries to cheer him up. 
  15. Finally, we got the results of Countdown '84 where ZZ Top was by far the winner, then Father Guido Sarducci closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E08... HOST: FLIP WILSON... DATE: DECEMBER 10, 1983

SNL: S09E08... HOST: FLIP WILSON... DATE: DECEMBER 10, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts in Dion's Salon where he and Piscopo get a visit from Flip Wilson in drag who is playing Dion's mom and is there to rekindle their relationship after being estranged for many years. She tries her best to explain herself but Dion just isn't having it. After a while of sharing the family history, Dion eventually gives in which leads Flip to announce, "Live from New York..."
  2. Flip Wilson then officially opened the show with a very quick intro where he claims this episode is his birthday/Christmas gift to the world before quickly throwing to the first sketch.
  3. We then went to Robin Duke's apartment where she is hosting an evening with a date and the two trade off pretty dirty sexual innuendos leading up to their Sleazy Christmas Gift Exchange. Despite all of the sex talk, this date ends up going nowhere because both people involved are all bark without any bite.
  4. This was followed by a sketch that took place on a plane where Brad Hall goes to use the bathroom only to find Flip as a bathroom attendant in that little tiny space. 
  5. Sweetchuck's guru character then got another non-news segment where he shares more Unanswered Questions Of The Universe.
  6. Hello, Trudy was a call in show where Belushi and Piscopo take calls from Trudy, their one and only caller, who asks questions that have absolutely nothing to do with the guest. 
  7. Stevie Nicks then took to the stage to perform Stand Back.
  8. Mary Gross then played Mary Tyler Moore for a fake ad for Older Sisters Of The Young a service where old women can adopt young successful doctors in time for the holiday season.
  9. Solomon And Pudge then returned to the show for another segment of character play, which I enjoy, this week Solomon complains about his aching feet and Pudge surprises him with a new pair of shoes.
  10. MST3K creator Joel Hodgson then returned for another prop comedy/magic routine.
  11. Flip Wilson then plays Reverend Leroy who is upset with his followers because there was zero money in the collection plate that leads to a lame joke based on his call and response type of preaching. 
  12. Jim Belushi then plays the commercial pitchman named Crazy Weinstein who isn't actually selling anything and is really just insane.
  13. We then got to meet a Shoelace Tier who has a shoe shine stand but doesn't do any shining as he only knows how to tie. Everyone else thinks this is foolish except for Flip who stops by on the regular. After he gets his shoes tied and is charged five dollars he says this was a rough week and only tips the old man six hundred dollars. Though the old man doesn't complain when Flip is around he seems a bit disappointed by the smaller tip the moment his only customer is gone.  
  14. Once again, Brad Hall gave us the news. This week, "Dr. Ruth" drops in to use sexual innuendo to talk about Christmas that is only sometimes unintentional, Sweetchuck drops by with a review of The Truly Tasteless Joke Book where he suggests some spin-off books and Brad Hall gives out Cabbage Patch Kid cooking instructions now that the trend is dead.
  15. We then went to a subway train where everyone is singing random songs while listening to them on their headphone. Sweetchuck is the only person on the train without headphones in his ears so he goes up to each and every passenger to tune them into the same FM classical which gets everyone singing the same song as this evolves into a fake Classic Radio Station ad.
  16. Stevie Nicks then returned to the stage to perform Nightbird.
  17. Finally, Flip Wilson closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E07... HOST: THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS... DATE: DECEMBER 3, 1983

SNL: S09E07... HOST: THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS... DATE: DECEMBER 3, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show starts with a "rain delay" as an NBC sports reporter interviews The Smothers Brothers and the cast about their thoughts on the bizarre storm that is taking place within the studio walls. The rain eventually clears up which leads to an official MLB umpire to okay the show to go on by announcing, "Live from New York..."
  2. The Smothers Brothers then officially open the show with a sing-along in place of their monolog where they get the audience to sing If I Had A Ship and Tommy ruins the moment by trying to take a picture of his brother to capture the memory mid-song.
  3. This was followed by a Nightlight parody following Crisis Game '83 where Ted Koppel host a crisis off between "John Glen" and the "Reverend Jesse Jackson" where the two potential presidential candidates answer how they would respond to various crazy events if they were to pull off a win.
  4. Know Your Neighbor is another sketch that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet which based on the description that I read, might be due to the fact that it might come off a bit anti-Semitic as Belushi "scoffs the Jewish holiday celebration."   
  5. Tom Carvel then host a spot to prompt his line of ice cream. He talks about how each franchise is privately owned so that the owner have some freedom to tweak the famous ice cream characters. That is until he interviews Sweetchuck, who's privately owned store is selling erotic versions of the decorated desserts which make Carvel a little nervous.
  6. Big Country then took to the stage to perform In A Big Country.
  7. Mentl is a fake ad for a movie that a parody of Yentl where Barbara Streisand plays her crazy self.
  8. The Smothers Brothers then take to the stage with the Mike Preddy Trio for a musical performance of Fantasy For Auto Horn And Electric Pulse In D Minor.
  9. Once again, Brad Hall gives us the news. This week, Gary Kroeger drops in to talk about the Cabbage Patch Doll trend that apparently exploded that week and introduces us to the giant Cabbage Patch Doll who is now twenty-one and gets pissed when he finds out he's a toy without a real dad, Sweetchuck dropped in as his scientist character with his list of funny new strains of flu, and Piscopo give us the sports where he interviews Larry Holmes where he almost gets into a fight with "Mohamad Ali's son" who couldn't be older than five. 
  10. Dream Land was a talk show where Belushi tries to interpret the dreams of random guest that he picked up off the street. All the guests are women and no matter how mundane or obvious the dreams are, Belushi spins them to where they all equate to the girls wanting to have sex with him, except for Mary Gross who as a blatant sex dream about trains and tunnels which stumps mister dream interpreter.
  11. The Smother Brother then came out a played a song for a few notes when Tommy got distracted and told the tale of The Boy Who Cried Wolf for some reason only he got the point of the story wrong.
  12. We then got introduced to a horrible garage band that is more interested in being a band than actually making music who get an audition with a major record label because the talent scout is also the friend of one of the band member's dad. They are so focused on gimmicks that it takes the scout a second to realize that they are not good and tells them all to give up. After the scout leaves the delusional group still manages to find a silver lining in what was said. 
  13. Mary Gross was then on a date with Tommy Smothers when she notices Dicky across the room and asks Tommy to go get an autograph which is funny because they are both playing themselves and Mary doesn't seem to care at all that she's actually with the second half of her favorite comedy duo and the sketch ends with another rain delay.
  14. Big Country then returned to the stage to perform Fields Of Fire.
  15. The Smothers Brothers then closed the show by thanking the audience and saying their goodnights.
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SNL: S09E06... HOST: JERRY LEWIS... DATE: NOVEMBER 19, 1983

SNL: S09E06... HOST: JERRY LEWIS... DATE: NOVEMBER 19, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with Jerry Lewis going in for heart surgery and when the anesthetics kick in he envisions "Dean Martin" and "Sammy Davis Jr." as the doctors who are performing the procedure and Jerry is stuck in his whacky voiced character addressing his concerns about the situation. When Jerry comes to and finds the real doctor he's a bit confused as he figures out it was all a dream before he goes on to announce, "Live from New York..."
  2. Jerry Lewis then officially opens the show with a monolog about how much he loves hosting the show in his arrogant comedic expert/lecturing tone which is part of what made me not like his later career. Eddie and Piscopo interrupt his long winded routine to declare Jerry the King of Comedy and force him to sit on a throne as they go on to blow smoke up his ass because of his brilliant early career that may be genuine but also highlights the bore that this man has become.
  3. We then went down for some man on the street interviews where New Yorkers were asked, "What famous person do you look like?" which leads to some funny responses.
  4. The Forum was a talk show sketch where Piscopo interviews "random Americans" about where they were the moment that they hear JFK was shot. These uninformed guest totally remember where they were because one guest learned about it 20 years after the fact while in college, one learned just before the show, and the finally learned about the assassination because of the conversation that was actively the matter at hand.
  5. We then cut to a scene where Eddie and Jerry are falling through the sky only Eddie as a parachute instructor is the only one wearing a chute and not because they are jumping in tandem. Eddie offers a refund and solutions during the fall but it does nothing to calm Jerry's nerves. Eddie eventually offers to share the chute only Jerry takes the entire thing for himself. 
  6. Cornet was a fake TV ad for toilet paper which was a lazy parody the old, "Extra value is what you get when you buy Coronet," ads because it mainly just makes a few jokes about the real life spokeswoman being parodied. 
  7. We then got a parody of Entertainment Tonight where they made fun of pop culture events from the day including a light-hearted behind the scenes interview during the taping of an end of the world mini-series, an interview with Jerry about his fame in France where he's not allowed to speak because of the verbose interviewer, annoying transitional content, an interview with "Suzanne Sommers about avoiding dumb blond roles, and an interview with some guy who dissects dead celebrities on stage.
  8. Fascinating People And Their Friends was an interview show where Sweetchuck interviews Jerry who plays one of the original members of the American Jewish Football League where in the world of the sketch a bunch of doctors and lawyers participate in a low impact version of the sport but it all turns out to be a prank as it's reveals that Jews don't play football at all.
  9. We then went to a Thanksgiving Dinner where Julia Louis-Dreyfus returns from college for her first Thanksgiving since moving away. While in college, Julia has turned into a liberal vegetarian which fills the mother with guilt and the father with rage which creates a rollercoaster of a conversation.
  10. Larry's Corner returns for another segment where this time, a safe falls on Larry's guest before he even starts to answer the first question which leads Larry to quickly wrap up the show by throwing to commercial right away.
  11. Loverboy then took to the stage to perform Working For The Weekend.
  12. Jerry Lewis then got a tour of the recording studio that translates every Jerry Lewis movie for the French movie market and is horrified to witness the over-dubbing of The King Of Comedy because the translator sticks to Jerry's wacky character voice that made him so famous instead of the serious voice required for the role.
  13. Once again, Brad Hall gave us the news. This week, Brad and Hall have a debate over the importance of the upcoming TV special The Day After which was about life after a nuclear war and Belushi is more interested in the upcoming game over this sweeps week stunt, Julia Louis-Dreyfus got a segment where she complains about her segment getting cut short only to be cut off after speaking paragraph's worth of words, Mary Gross's agro character gripes about the upcoming holiday traditions, and Piscopo gives us the sports where he interviews "Jim Brown" about his desire to return to the NFL at the age of 47 years-old.
  14. Piscopo then takes to the stage doing a Jerry impersonation until the real Jerry joins him on stage to confront him and gives him a few tips on how to do it right. Eddie then joins the two as a third Jerry and the three announce next week's host as they all Jerry Lewis it up.
  15. Robin Duke then takes to the stage as if she were an open mic night announcer who brings "Gusty" to the stage. Gusty is actually Belushi who performs a hippy song for the whales where he squeals and clicks to very little applause. 
  16. Finally, Jerry Lewis announced that the show ran long leading to no second Loverboy song, then closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E05... DATE: TERI GARR... DATE: NOVEMBER 12, 1983

SNL: S09E05... DATE: TERI GARR... DATE: NOVEMBER 12, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show with the girls of the cast as Pom-Pom Girls who welcome Teri Garr into their squad by teacher her their weird cheers that, for the most part, had absolutely nothing to do with sports and those that did were actually anti-sports cheers. Teri Garr then made a horrible attempt to rah-rah in a more traditional way and ended on the chant of, "Live from New York..."
  2. Teri Garr then officially opens the show with a monolog where she played a ditzy character of herself as she insisted that she was familiar with the entire crowd as if they as a whole were some individual that she met at a party but that joke ended up going nowhere, as did the joke of being randomly chosen to host while checking in for a hotel stay. Though these jokes sort of Petered out they were at least delivered in an entertaining way, so I wouldn't necessarily call this a failure.
  3. Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood returns for another installment where the word for the day is "Nutrition" where we got advice on how to live on a budget, which included eating dog food for protein and shoplifting the expensive meats. 
  4. Thirsty Guy Contraceptive Sponge was a parody ad for a contraceptive based on the old Bounty ad where they called it the "Quicker Picker Upper."
  5. History: The Real Story was a PBS style history show that gave us the truth about Abe Lincoln's assassination where it turns out that the killing had nothing to do with politics but the fact that Abe was an obnoxious audience member. 
  6. We then dropped into Dion's Salon where Dion gives dating advice to a client that was recently dumped and in the process, she starts to fall for him as if she can't see that he's obviously gay and not even trying to hide it. Piscopo enters the room the moment she forces Eddie to kiss which leads to jealous bickering between the two gay male hair stylists.
  7. We then went to a school assembly where Gary Kroeger as Dwight MacNamara, documentary narrator, addresses the students on career day and he does a perfect impersonation of the warbled voice that one used to hear through crappy school film projectors.
  8. Joe Piscopo then got a sports segment outside of the news where he introduced the song Talking Dope Ball that makes fun of all of the cocaine scandals that were taking place in every sport that year.
  9. We then went to a coffee commercial shoot starring Teri Garr as herself who has problems delivering her lines. This leads her to have to do what seems to be a hundred takes until all of the caffeine causes her to lose her mind.
  10. Joel Hodgson from MST3K made his first appearance where he did a comedic magic act that was brilliant but I'd consider it more prop comedy than magic.
  11. Once again, Brad Hall gives us the news. This week, Julia Louis-Dreyfus dropped in as a monotoned news reporter who was recently fired and had to take a job as the voice of the lady that used to tell the time over the phone, Gary Kroeger reviewed the movie Star 80 where for some reason he ends the bit by stripping down to women's lingerie because the movie had something to do with Playboy, "Ann Landers" then dropped by with advice for the people of El Salvador, and as always, Sweetchuck got a segment to bash The New York Post.
  12. Kennedy: The Man Behind The Leader seemed it was going to be a sketch about the president's affair but it turned out to be about how Marilyn Monroe was actually the brains/puppet master.
  13. Mick Fleetwood's Zoo and Lindsey Buckingham then took to the stage to perform Tonight.
  14. Mary Gross then played a very Sarcastic Nun who gets in a lot of trouble because all of her underlings believe every sarcastic thing that she says and acts accordingly to the point where the nuns from this church ended up in a spread for Playboy.
  15. We then went to a grocery store where Gary Kroeger and Julia Louis-Dreyfus play a not so happy couple. The moment that Julia leave to grab some carrots Gary turns to the cashier and tells her to call the cops because his wife is a witch who turns him into a rabbit the moment they get in their home. When confronted about this witch claim, Julia explains that this was just a prank that's been going on for five years which makes Gary feel like a gullible moron.
  16. Mick Fleetwood's Zoo and Lindsey Buckingham then returned to the stage to perform Way Down.
  17. We then went downstairs for some man on the street interviews where the people of New York were asked, "What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" and we get some pretty funny answers.
  18. Finally, Teri Garr closes the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S09E04... HOST: BETTY THOMAS... DATE: NOVEMBER 5, 1983

SNL: S09E04... HOST: BETTY THOMAS... DATE: NOVEMBER 5, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode started with an astronaut on the moon who turns out to be Jesse Jackson as the one Democratic candidate running for president that stands out from the rest of the candidate. He gives a fired up speech to the crowd that ends with the announcement, "Live from New York... 
  2. Betty Thomas then officially opened the show with a monolog where she talks about wearing a dress instead of her costume from Hill Street Blues and how the director was afraid that by doing this the audience wouldn't know who she was. This is when she flashes her badge and her gun before going on to playfully try and intimidate the audience with a billyclub that ends up hurting her hand.
  3. We then got a fake ad for Memorex Video Tapes as Brad Hall and Jim Belushi try and frame Lee Ayakoka in a cocaine smuggling bust ending with the catchphrase, "Is it a bribe or is it Memorex."
  4. We then went to a spa for Eddie Murphy's classic impersonation of James Brown where he sings the Hot Tub song during the James Brown Celebrity Hot Tub Party.
  5. This was followed by a sketch that claimed that Elvis tried out for the original part of Curly for the movie The Three Stooges Mania. Just when Elvis starts to sing in Curly's voice the sketch got interrupted by breaking news.
  6. Special Report was a mini news segment where it's announced that there was an incident in Switzerland following a Chocolate Shop owner who short changed an American tourist by giving him improper change which led to the US invasion. 
  7. Stray Cats then took to the stage to perform She's Sexy And 17.
  8. Sweetchuck's guru character from the news then got his own non-news segment where he shares Unanswered Questions Of The Universe but it's pretty much just an extended version of what he does on the news.
  9. You Win A Dollar was a game show parody where contestants have to perform torturous stunts to win a single buck. Stunts include, find the marble in a fish tank filled with razor blades, bobbing for chicken wings in a deep fryer, spending a minute covered in honey in a tent filled with bees, and finally, guessing the color the host is thinking which is the only thing that Belushi got wrong.
  10. Perfectly Frank was surprisingly not about Frank Sinatra but instead hosted by a guy named Frank who discusses the use of subliminal messaging in TV where Piscopo does an early version of Kevin Nealon's character Subliminal Man.
  11. Swan Lake Flashdance was a mashup of the ballet Swan Lake with the movie Flashdance.
  12. Once again, Brad Hall gave us the news. This week they start out by caring on the story of the US invading Switzerland following the chocolate shortchanging incident complete with man on the street interviews with people who believe it's really happening, Brad and Jim have a debate only Jim keeps stealing characters from the original cast of Saturday Night Live to make his point, and "Ronal Reagan addresses the nation about the ongoing Switzerland incident showing the Swiss Army Knife as their terrorist tool which leads to a conspiracy style mini-documentary about the country.
  13. Jane Fonda Pregnancy Birth, Labor, Re-Entering The Job Market, Trying To Catch A Man, Trying To Keep A Man, Making New Friends, Holding Your Breath, And Going Over Your Credit Limit Workout is a parody of one of Jane Fonda's workout tapes for pregnant women where one of the girls gives birth mid-workout.
  14. Gumby's Life Story was a sketch that shows Eddie Murphy as Gumby directing Gary Kroeger as Gumby in a movie that tells how he grew to be the famous actor we all know and love.
  15. This was followed by another news break to inform the audience that the incident is over and Switzerland Under Control.
  16. Stray Cats then returned to the stage to perform I Won't Stand In Your Way.
  17. We then went to a Transsexual Support Group Meeting where all the women involved in this episode play men who are transitioning into women who discuss the differences in their lives since the change and how they all actually miss being men.
  18. Finally, Betty Thomas closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
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SNL: S09E03... HOST: JOHN CANDY... DATE: OCTOBER 22, 1983

SNL: S09E03... HOST: JOHN CANDY... DATE: OCTOBER 22, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode takes us back to the cast locker room which is a concept that I loved, missed, am happy to see that they brought back and miss again in modern day episodes. Anyways, first, we are introduced to Jim Belushi and then told that John Candy is running late. Eddie and Piscopo start to develop a plan to open the show with a Honeymooner's sketch if he doesn't show. They leave to get ready when Mr. Mambo shows up, which is John Candy dressed as part bullfighter part waiter who gets Belushi to drop his worries and join in to announce, "Live from New York..."
  2. Even though Mr. Mambo is obviously one of John Candy's characters, they keep up the facade that he's running late as Eddie and Piscopo open the show with a bit of their Honeymooner's routine until John Candy finally arrives with luggage in hand as if he just stepped off of the plane. He then takes over the show and walks over to the first sketch after acting nervous about performing live because he's used to his prerecorded work on SCTV.
  3. John Candy then walked straight from the main stage following his intro to a set designed to look like a ski lodge where he plays Doc Edmund who is talking with a very "pregnant" Mary Gross. Belushi enters the scene with a broken leg and Candy's geriatric staff try to help using old-timey technique. Mary Gross then goes into labor only to be told to hold off because Eddie doesn't want to deal with the hassle then Mary gives birth on her own while Eddie is busy making a splint for Belushi using an Ace bandage a couple trophy fish that were hanging above the fire.
  4. Village Of The Damned Little Rascals was a parody of the old movie Village Of The Damned only featuring The Little Rascals as the demonically possessed children who literally have some of the town's folk scared to death but it all turns out to be a practical joke by the kids who all bought novelty eye covers at the local prank shop. 
  5. This was followed by home video coverage showing Eddie Murphy's suburban life in New Jersey now that he's a superstar.
  6. Next, we went to a church where the confession booths were out of order, for some reason, while Belushi wants to get his sins off his chest. John Candy plays the priest who, thinking on his feet, suggest that they use the phone booths instead. So, the two get in side by side phone booths and Belushi has to borrow a dime to call but then has to fight with the phone company and never gets around to confessing his sins.
  7. Once again, Brad Hall gives us the news. This week, Julia Louis-Dreyfus drops in as Johnny Carson's ex-wife to brag about the money she made in the divorce and suggests that other women do the same, and Sweetchuck drops in as his doctor character with various names for different types of acne.
  8. John Candy then introduced the SNL world to his character from SCTV who is really into directing 3D movies where he simply moves objects closer to the screen as if it were a special effect. In this sketch/intro to the band, he attempts to bypass Eddie Murphy's agent to pitch Eddie one of his movies.
  9. Men At Work then took to the stage to perform Doctor Heckyll And Mr. Jive.
  10. We then went behind the scenes of a commercial shoot where we saw Ronald McDonald's Nasty Side when he doesn't agree with the script.
  11. Poly-Rock Denture Cream was a fake ad for a denture adhesive for those aging rockstars out there who like to play their guitars with their teeth as a way to show off their skills from back in the day when crazy guitar solos were more of a thing.
  12. Candace's Fantasy Shack is a brothel where Sweetchuck brings Belushi to celebrate his last days as a single man and John Candy plays Candace, the madam of the house who introduces the two men to the ladies. At first, Belushi plans to stay loyal to his wife but eventually gives in only to find out that he was the one millionth customer which triggers a celebration, a story in the news, and even a call from the president on the United States. With so much to-do made the sketch leaves us feeling certain that his fiance will find out.
  13. Belushi and Candy then find themselves in prison. As soon as the guard leaves they go from being scared prisoners to acting like a couple in a resort, excited by their new cozy home.
  14. We then went backstage for a bit where Mr. Mambo's agent and "Ed McMahon" chuckle it up together as they introduce the band for their second performance of the night.
  15. Men At Work then took to the stage to perform It's A Mistake.
  16. Finally, John Candy closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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SNL: S09E02... HOST: DANNY DEVITO & RHEA PEARLMAN... DATE: OCTOBER 15, 1983

SNL: S09E02... HOST: DANNY DEVITO & RHEA PEARLMAN... DATE: OCTOBER 15, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with a second installment of the Calvin Klein Cream Pies ad. I can't believe that it's the first sketch of episode two and they are already recycling content that wasn't that great in the first place but it was new and not a repeat like I first thought because she announces, "Live from New York..." before getting hit with a second pie.
  2. Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman then take to the stage and their adorable energy alone lessened my concern about the lazy start to the show. The two discuss the troubles with doing a monolog when there are two people which by definition breaks the rule. They then go on to banter as if they were building up to give out an award. Though fun, they seem completely unprepared because when Danny asks, "How do we get out of this?" It sounds pretty genuine as they bale out by throwing to the commercial break.
  3. We then went back to Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood for the sketch that introduced me to the word bastard meant because I specifically remember asking my parents to clarify after finding it was the word for the day after Mr. Robinson's "girlfriend" abandoned their newborn baby on his porch.
  4. Crazy Edelman returns and this time his everything must go style ad is for discount psychotherapy.
  5. What Would Frank Do? is a game show that asks contestant, one of which being Dion from the salon, what Frank Sinatra would do in real life situations then watch on video as the answer is played out.
  6. We then went to the inside of the It's A Small World ride at Disneyland where the ride breaks down trapping a boat load of park visitors to have to listen to the endlessly repeating song which causes them to lose their minds as it goes on for hours and hours. It turns out that the boat isn't actually stuck but that the park is under some sort of West World style attack by all the mascots and mechanical beings.
  7. Odyssey Of A Paperclip is a "Documentary" that follows the life of a paperclip that Gary Kroeger was about to pick his teeth with in an attempt to show why it might be a bad idea.  
  8. Rhea Pearlman then played a Spanish teacher who insists that the students only speak Spanish no matter what they are trying to convey. Even when Eddie who is not a student comes in to report a hostage situation, Rhea insists that he say it in Spanish instead of acting on the warning which inevitably leads to her getting shot when the cops chance the perpetrator into the room. 
  9. Once again, Brad Hall gives us the news. This week, Julia Louis-Dreyfus drops by as a fired news anchor with Tourettes and talks about getting fired because she was a woman, Gary Kroeger got a segment to talk about the latest Bond Girl, and "Dr. Ruth" drops by to talk about sex in movies and how it influences the youth.
  10. Eddie Grant then took to the stage to perform I Don't Want To Dance and Electric Avenue back to back.
  11. We then went backstage to a show where we meet a couple of intense autograph seekers who meet up with an obsessed fan who thinks Liz Taylor will be his wife the moment she exits through the back door only but all that they get is the real Dick Cavett.
  12. Book Beat is a talk show where Sweetchuck interviews DeVito as a self-publishing author who no one else will publish because it is pretty much just his stalker material about a girl named Deborah who lives in his building and who also shoots him dead from the audience.
  13. Amos And Andy Show is a parody reboot that attempts to modernize the old racist show by pairing King Fish with Andy Rooney and they both just ramble away.
  14. Masterpiece Humor is a parody of Masterpiece Theater that uses the shows dry style to break down several kid/dad jokes complete with a reenactment of A Kangaroo Walking Into A Bar.
  15. We then went to a politician's funeral where Danny DeVito attacks Robin Duke for being his bodyguard that didn't save him because it was her first day on the job. Mary Gross is the next to attack Robin for not doing her job. I kept expecting there to be a twist but it never came it was just people getting angry at this rookie bodyguard's mistake with a dumb joke at the end where the funeral director give the bodyguard his business card in case any of her other clients were to die. 
  16. Eddy Grant then returned to the stage to perform Living On The Front Line.
  17. Finally, Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman close the show by thanking the audience and saying their goodnights.
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SNL: S09E01... HOST: BRANDON TARTIKOFF... DATE: OCTOBER 8, 1983

SNL: S09E01... HOST: BRANDON TARTIKOFF... DATE: OCTOBER 8, 1983

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's episode starts with members of the cast breaking into Brandon Tartikoff Watergate-style in an attempt to find evidence he used his power as the president of NBC to land this hosting role. Eddie uses the phone to prank Mr. T which is weird because they treat it like he would have caller ID as proof to where the phone all is coming from. They then find his schedule where one of the entries tricks Eddie into saying, "Live from New York..."
  2. Brandon Tartikoff then officially opened the show with a red carpet entrance and a monolog about his plans to continue to create high-quality programming for the network, only to have the subtitles make fun of his every word by listing all of his failed ideas.
  3. Julia Louis-Dreyfus then played a Calvin Klein model who rambles on vapidly about her narcissistic issues until she gets hit in the face with a pie and we learned this was a fake ad for Calvin Klein Cream Pies For Girls You Hate.
  4. We then went to James Watt's office who was apparently a politician from the time that recently made a racist flub. In the sketch, his underlings do everything to try and cheer him up while he continued to dig a bigger hole with awkward replies to his staff.  
  5. In Jazz Riffs, Sweetchuck plays a Beatnik host who interviews Eddie as a jazz musician in a mask who is disguised because he's embarrassed by the fact that he has to prostitute himself by doing weddings for pay and shares some funny stories about several of his nightmare gigs.
  6. Flen's Discount Food And Clothing Warehouse was a Crazy Eddie's: Everything Must Go style commercial for a store that sells clothing and food.
  7. We then went back to Brandon Tartikoff's office where he's dressed in leather like Eddie Murphy who is also in the sketch to get pitched Tartikoff's horrible programming ideas. Eddie turns him down right away but the Whiners enter as soon as he leaves and demand that they get a show using their Nielsen Family status as leverage to get their foot in the door. 
  8. Next was a Gumby and Pokey rehearsal for their upcoming reunion where Pokey is late because he's a drunk and Gumby is super pissed off. Pokey eventually arrives sounding like the stereotype of a hypochondriac Jew and the two fight the entire time.
  9. Tartikoff then took to the street to ask New Yorkers about the current NBC line-up only to get a pretty harsh response of unrecognition and disinterest about every single show.
  10. Larry's Corner is a talk show where "Larry" interviews his average and uninteresting friends from his youth who all have childish stunts. At first, only half entertained by this concept but then one of the friends (Gary Kroeger) started to fart with his armpits which led to milk streaming out of one of the other friend's nose and the third friend (Sweetchuck) who was introduced as the kid who would drink anything drinks the mild as it streams out of this guys nose while everyone is laughing hysterically in a way that you can't help but laugh along.
  11. Once again, Brad Hall gave us the news. This week, Piscopo drops by with sports, and Sweetchuck gets another segment where he bashes the New York Post.
  12. Jon Cougar then took to the stage to perform Pink Houses.
  13. Sweetchuck then enters a gun store dressed as a meth head looking punk and asks if he can rent a gun. Piscopo plays the owner who attempts to do a bit of a background check but easily gives in to every excuse that Sweetchuck gives to why he can't comply while obviously being up to no good. 
  14. We then went to the audience to find Siskel and Ebert who once again gave us an insightful review of the show while it's still in progress.
  15. Jon Cougar then returned to the stage to perform Crumblin' Down.
  16. NBC: Be There is a fake ad for the network the slams the upcoming season of shows.
  17. Ethel's Diner Tragedies is a sketch where Mary Gross plays a waitress on a day where she learns that every aspect of her life takes a turn for the worst. Customer after customer enters the diner with escalating bad news. She takes every bit of news with a smile right up to the very end even though I was expecting/hoping for some type of interesting twist.
  18. Finally, Brandon Tartikoff closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
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