Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty-Three, Dateline 8-21-2018

TheDailyBreakerSpecial.jpg
Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy - because we will always want to have something else or something more.
— Brother David Steindl-Rast

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-thirty-three of Operation Achieve Anything. I always find it interesting how everyone loves to advise people to just be themselves to get people to like them only to go on and explain how you need to be positive and confident as well.  What does this mean for neurotic people like me whose insecurities stem from their core to where “just being yourself,” can tend to push people away?

Sometimes I fear that I scare off potential readers when I go through an Eeyorish phase. Granted, I’m bipolar, so I’m not always blue, but the random swings are kind of an identifying feature of my personality that I don’t feel the need to hide. At least now, I used to try to hide it, but that only led the ups and downs to seem more extreme as I would shift from appearing like a happy idiot with an infectious giggle to a scared monster whenever my thoughts would get dark.

I don’t think that these shifts would have been so noticeable if they were intensified by me trying to hide the fact that I was so sad. At the same time, I also probably wouldn’t have made a single friend if it wasn’t for my extreme ups. It’s not that people wouldn’t like the me in the middle but that me in the middle is this shut-in writing these lines, who wouldn’t venture out to let others give him a chance.

This is part of the reason why my cliffhanger response to yesterday’s assignment was that I’ve never had anyone who played the role as the light in my life. Yes, there have been a few people who I’ve tried to force into the position of being my muse, but the commitment has never been mutual. I also feel that most people in my life wish me luck in my efforts, but I’ve never had anyone who I trusted would always be by my side.

In fact, I only know of one person who has read multiple pieces of my work, aside from a few friends in film who were just looking for projects to work on. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate any involvement that I’ve ever received, I’m just saying that I’ve never had anyone as that rock who I always knew would be there for me. This really sucks because I’ve always wanted either a mentor or a creative partner to pair up with and challenge each other to improve my quality of work.

The fact that I’ve never been able to pull this off leads me to believe that I’m not worth it and should give up and try to find a real job. To add to why I can feel like this is the case, I also always get turned down whenever I reach out to other writers to offer feedback or advice while attempting to treat others how I would like to be treated. This is why I feel like I have no choice but to figure it all out on my own. It’s also why I struggle to get rid of the Eeyorish voice.

So, the answer to yesterday’s tasked is, no, I don’t have someone who is the light in my life. As for today’s assignment, I’m now just supposed to be aware of my surrounding in order to avoid the tunnel vision that comes with being too focused on an individual goal. As you can probably see, this tunnel vision is a significant issue for me, especially at this point in my life.

I don’t really know how I’m going to fulfill this assignment because, once again, the actual task is very vague, but I’m sure that I’ll come up with something by the time I sit down to write tomorrow’s daily post. Until then, it’s now time for me to sign off by saying, good day and good luck to you and all of your projects.

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker

P.S. Below are links to my novel, which I plan to promote as part of Operation Achieve Anything, as well as a link to where you can buy the book that is providing the structure to this project in case you would like to purchase it in order to play along.

Matt Bunker

I started out with a goal of becoming a paid screenwriter. I had no interest in any other aspect of filmmaking. I received and scholarship to The Vancouver Film School's Writing for Film and Television program where I graduated in 2005. I fell in love with being on set during my first non-school produced short, . I loved being around all the creative people, seeing people having fun while working. The whole liking your job was a new world to me, so I decided to give it a shot. I volunteered for any project I could, doing what ever was needed. The set was my Film School this time. While working as a PA on a feature I was informed that the DP wanted the three tallest PAs to help out in the grip and electric department. That is when I found the department that felt like the best fit for me while I continued to write.

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty-Two, Dateline 8-20-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty-Two, Dateline 8-20-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty-Two, Dateline 8-20-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-thirty-two of Operation Achieve Anything. Today’s post is going to be an interesting one that’s going to take a bit of time as I have to list one-hundred things that I am thankful for. I’m just going to jump right into the task because; One) it’s hard to create a list of a hundred of anything and Two) as a bit of a nihilist, in the middle of an existential crisis, it’s hard to feel genuinely thankful while still coping with so much loss.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty-One, Dateline 8-19-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty-One, Dateline 8-19-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty-One, Dateline 8-19-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-thirty-one of Operation Achieve Anything. Sorry, this post might be a little scattered and quick because my heads still a little loopy from the events from last night that following the partaking of a powerful payday edible. It cracks me up how something so natural gets treated like such an evil drug. Meanwhile, when I go overboard with my medical marijuana to celebrate the weekend, I feel a closer connection to the Earth as I tune into nature documentaries and get lost in fantasy, as opposed to when I hit the bottle too hard and get all surly and filled with self-hate.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty, Dateline 8-18-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty, Dateline 8-18-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Thirty, Dateline 8-18-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-thirty of Operation Achieve Anything. It’s Saturday, so I’m going to make it a quick one in order to get to enjoying my day off. Yesterday turned out to be a surprise half day when my job’s server that assigns our tasks went down for the day. I think that might be why I’m in a bit more of a vacation mood than usual, but that’s okay, I’m allowed to take breaks on the weekend.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Nine, Dateline 8-17-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Nine, Dateline 8-17-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Nine, Dateline 8-17-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-nine of Operation Achieve Anything. Here we are on yet another Friday, a payday Friday, meaning the next several days will be super fun as I go on my monthly payday shopping spree that gets followed by a week of Christmas as my purchases trickle in through the mail.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Eight, Dateline 8-16-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Eight, Dateline 8-16-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Eight, Dateline 8-16-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-eight of Operation Achieve Anything. Though I know it's not the case, it really does feel like the world is working against me at times, but not through big-picture problems, instead, the planet seems to be driving me crazy with tiny things that stack up and make me feel like I'm losing my mind. To make things worse, my mind isn't all that stable in the first place which is the "gift from God" that nobody likes to talk about.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Seven, Dateline 8-15-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Seven, Dateline 8-15-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Seven, Dateline 8-15-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-seven of Operation Achieve Anything. I find it a little interesting that things seem to be stabilizing to where I'm back to a state of equilibrium, not too high, not too low, in time for this middle of the week post. The sense of mania that started to set in over the weekend has already turned into a quick bout of depression and now here I sit, trying my best to be as emotionless as possible.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Six, Dateline 8-14-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Six, Dateline 8-14-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Six, Dateline 8-14-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-six of Operation Achieve Anything. It's amazing how quickly following a confidence boost, the world has a way of putting me back in my place only with a touch more doubt than before. As I just started to point out on Friday, the traffic to my site has been growing to the point where it's tripled over the past couple of months. At first, I just kept this to myself thinking the boost was some kind of anomaly that would go away if I made mention of it.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Five, Dateline 8-13-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Five, Dateline 8-13-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Five, Dateline 8-13-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-five of Operation Achieve Anything. This turned out to be a rollercoaster of a weekend without even having to move from my seat. It started Friday when I realized that I had officially worked through the issue that I was having with my day job to where I no longer felt a slight urge to quit if that wouldn't mean I'd have to look for different paid work.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Four, Dateline 8-12-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Four, Dateline 8-12-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Four, Dateline 8-12-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-four of Operation Achieve Anything. I really need to stop this new trend of drinking every weekend that I started back when I landed my day job. It's not that I think that it's growing to be a problem addiction wise or anything like that, it just makes one day really fun and the next on the next day I struggle to get anything done at all. I guess, psychologically, this might just be my way of forcing myself to take a break in order to avoid burning out.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Three, Dateline 8-11-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Three, Dateline 8-11-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Three, Dateline 8-11-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-three of Operation Achieve Anything. It's five in the morning, I can't get back to sleep so I figure why not just get to work on my blogging obligations in order to get everything done early, freeing up the rest of the day for some fun. Granted that fun will probably be getting ahead of my SNL reviews to rebuild my backlog so that I can get back to the point where I'm at least one review ahead of my daily deadline.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Two, Dateline 8-10-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Two, Dateline 8-10-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-Two, Dateline 8-10-2018

Good afternoon crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-two of Operation Achieve Anything. I think this might be the first Friday in months that I didn't feel like I was on the verge of quitting my day job while in a blind rage over their mind game. I think I said this earlier in the week but, right after last Friday's Daily Breaker post, my work sent out a mass email clarifying that the accuracy rate that could lead to our firing is base on periodic tests and not for our daily audits. This information eased my nerves instantly leading this work week to seem like a breeze.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-One, Dateline 8-9-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-One, Dateline 8-9-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty-One, Dateline 8-9-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty-one of Operation Achieve Anything. This has been an exciting past couple of weeks where not only has the traffic to this site more than doubled, these new numbers seem here to stay. Though I'm not fully sure if this traffic is made up of returning readers it's beginning to feel like I've leveled up.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty, Dateline 8-8-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty, Dateline 8-8-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Twenty, Dateline 8-8-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-twenty of Operation Achieve Anything. Here we go with another day where the oppressive heat continues to make life feel exponentially cyclical and mundane. Where when it's cold outside, I'm able to casually get through my day with ease as I comfortably sit in a hoodie and shorts focused on the task at hand, and not constantly plotting pool breaks to get relief from the oven that is my windowless garage/room.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Nineteen, Dateline 8-7-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Nineteen, Dateline 8-7-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Nineteen, Dateline 8-7-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-nineteen of Operation Achieve Anything. I know it was just yesterday when I was saying that I got some extra sleep and am now in a much better mood. Though that may have been true when I wrote those words in the early morning when it was cool, as soon as the afternoon heat set in I felt like I wanted to cry. Though my day to day life isn't all that bad, I'm a big guy who can only take so much of constantly feeling cook.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Eighteen, Dateline 8-6-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Eighteen, Dateline 8-6-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Eighteen, Dateline 8-6-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-eighteen of Operation Achieve Anything. Sorry if my Daily Breaker post and SNL review were a bit rambly yesterday, I was nursing a box wine hangover which made it hard to focus as I rushed to get through my day. The nice part was that I was feeling just ill enough to where I only wanted sleep but the day after drinking sickness wasn't bad enough to where I couldn't get comfortable, so I was able to achieve my slumber goals.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Seventeen, Dateline 8-5-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Seventeen, Dateline 8-5-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Seventeen, Dateline 8-5-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-seventeen of Operation Achieve Anything. It's Sunday so that means I'm now nursing a hangover after another Saturday of hanging out with a box of wine. My original plan for the day was to get liquored up while also getting caught up on the second season of GLOW and Stranger Things. Unfortunately, I miss gauged just how much TV viewing that would be and only managed to get through all the episodes of the show about the Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Sixteen, Dateline 8-4-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Sixteen, Dateline 8-4-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Sixteen, Dateline 8-4-2018

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-sixteen of Operation Achieve Anything. Not only am I excited by the fact that it's Saturday, meaning that I have no day job to get to, I'm also over the moon that I'm ahead of my work enough to take the day off to do some marathon television watching.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Fifteen, Dateline 8-3-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Fifteen, Dateline 8-3-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Fifteen, Dateline 8-3-2018

Good afternoon crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-fifteen of Operation Achieve Anything. Once again, we're at a Friday, and my should-be-simple day-job is about to drive me out of my mind. As I think I said last week, or possibly the week before, the work itself is a breeze, but the leadership has me feeling that this is a social experiment and not a gig that adds any real value to this world.

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Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Fourteen, Dateline 8-2-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Fourteen, Dateline 8-2-2018

Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Fourteen, Dateline 8-2-2018

Good evening crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-fourteen of Operation Achieve Anything. Yesterday turned out to be a fun day where I had my little nephew as an officemate throughout most of the day. Now that I have a new computer my old one is set up on the desk behind me since I plan to keep it running as a back for all of my files. That thing’s been with me through my busiest era of writing, so I am too afraid to permanently put the thing away no matter how many documents I switch over.

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