Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Ninety-Nine, Dateline 10-26-2018

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Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-ninety-nine of Operation Achieve Anything. My head is starting to settle again which is weird considering I went to bed pretty depressed and woke up in the middle of the night feeling anxious about my day job situation. This led me to go back to sleep, and when I woke up, I no longer felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Then, I sit down to write just in time to see that they’ve caught the guy who’s been sending out all of these bombs.

It’s weird synchronicities like this that make me question what existence really is. I mean, my window of depression started the day before all of this went down and lasted until the guy was caught. I’m not talking anything conspiratorial, or anything to do with the physical world, I’m talking being subconsciously being tapped into the energy coming from the world. My bipolar mood swings, though not always, tend to precede these world events and then settle the second things are under control, whether I’m aware of the status.

I know this could easily be written off by pointing out that it’s anxiety from watching the news, but I’m telling you, I don’t even have to be paying attention to world event for this to happen. In fact, it often happens while I’m taking a break from watching the news, that I admit to watching as fear porn no matter what sides coverage leans. Whenever my baseline Eeyorish outlook drops below light blue, and I start to get dark, current events are my goto programs to watch. That’s not to say that I don’t stay informed during these breaks, I just don’t dig in until I get to the point of being obsessed.

Hopefully, this mood swing back to the middle will provide a little relief. On another good note, I’m at least back to the point where I bounce back quickly, unlike the few years that followed my mid-life meltdown where at best I felt like I was climbing out of a hole with no sign of the air up above. There was an entire year where my position in the hole was all that I had to write about. Now, I don’t think I’ve even mentioned this hole since starting my SNL challenge and had a new project to work on.

The year prior to starting this latest challenge, my depression was so intense because I was on the verge of giving up on writing altogether. I was going to stop paying for the blog, meaning all of my effort to share my work to the world would disappear as I also disappeared, giving into the just being a body in a cubicle job. Granted, that’s probably where I belong, but I’d rather be in another box in a deeper grave. So, just like writing probably saved my life in the late ‘90s, it saved it again at the start of ‘17.

This pretty much fulfills the assignment for yesterday where I was supposed to search for my special gift, which to me is my ability to get back on track even though I continually seem to fall. As for today’s assignment, it’s another one that’s been dealt out several times throughout this book where again I’m supposed to practice the concept of “fake it until you make it.” I’ll skip pointing out why this annoys me because I’ve been saying it about the recycled content that’s been assigned for the past several days.

As always, I’ll still try to come up with something to fulfill the task, when I check in with tomorrow’s update. Until then, it’s now that time for me to say, good day and good luck to you and all of your projects.

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker

P.S. Below are links to my novel, which I plan to promote as part of Operation Achieve Anything, as well as a link to where you can buy the book that is providing the structure to this project in case you would like to purchase it in order to play along.

Matt Bunker

I started out with a goal of becoming a paid screenwriter. I had no interest in any other aspect of filmmaking. I received and scholarship to The Vancouver Film School's Writing for Film and Television program where I graduated in 2005. I fell in love with being on set during my first non-school produced short, . I loved being around all the creative people, seeing people having fun while working. The whole liking your job was a new world to me, so I decided to give it a shot. I volunteered for any project I could, doing what ever was needed. The set was my Film School this time. While working as a PA on a feature I was informed that the DP wanted the three tallest PAs to help out in the grip and electric department. That is when I found the department that felt like the best fit for me while I continued to write.