Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number one-hundred-thirty-seven of Operation Achieve Anything. I’m starting to get a little antsy as I way for my first significant paycheck in a while to come in. Last month, I worked a couple of one-off gigs for the company that I’m now working on a long-term assignment for that pays only once a month which sucks because there is so much time between paycheck to paycheck, but it’s also great because it forces me to save.

Either way, I can’t wait for this one to get here because I’m all out of my meds which means that I haven’t slept well for the past couple of day. Not only that but, I look forward to this check coming in because it will make life a little easier as I wait for the next check to come in. That check’s the I’m really excited about because it’ll be almost twice as big and I plan to use it to finally seek a little help toward my mental health.

This has me stuck in a fantasy land as I sleep deprived brain starts to strategize a plan for this point moving on. On top of the mental health appointment that I plan to set, I also want to eventually schedule an appointment with a hypnotherapist to see if they can help me be better at breathing. This may sound weird but it actually plays into yesterday’s assignment where I was supposed to take note of how I breathe.

This is actually something that I’ve been thinking about for a really long time because I often find that when I’m not paying attention I end up holding my breath. I recently realized that I might be doing this for reasons that go back to when I was a little kid and me, my sister and my cousins would be staying over at my grandparents’ house.

I used to be a real heavy breather back then which really pissed everyone off while we were trying to go to sleep. Everyone used to give me a hard time and even hit me with pillows in order to wake me and tell me to shut the hell up. I was the youngest of the bunch so I had to take it from everyone. So ever since then, I found that I always have been self-conscious about my breathing instead of just taking in whatever oxygen I need.

It didn’t help that I was an out of shape husky kid who also always tried to hide the fake that I would get winded. Part of me feels that if I wasn’t so nervous about my breathing, I might have been a more active child. I also feel that my poor breathing habits play into my anxiety and depression issues which will probably contribute to an early death which is why I want to try hypnotherapy since it’s a subconscious issue that I’m hanging onto even though I know it’s to my detriment.

For me, I don’t think it’s as easy as just learning a couple of breathing techniques since I’ve learned many over the years that work great when I’m focused but the moment my brain takes over, I go right back to holding my breath. Speaking of breathing techniques, the assignment for today is to try one of these techniques out and try taking a breath right after anyone asks me a question and note if there’s a noticeable difference from answering without thinking about breathing at all.

As always, you’ll have to wait for tomorrow to see what I make of this assignment when I check in with my next post. Until then, it’s now time for me to sign off by saying, good day and good luck to you and all of your projects.

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker

P.S. Below are links to my novel, which I plan to promote as part of Operation Achieve Anything, as well as a link to where you can buy the book that is providing the structure to this project in case you would like to purchase it in order to play along.