Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-thirty-two of Operation Achieve Anything. Today’s post is going to be an interesting one that’s going to take a bit of time as I have to list one-hundred things that I am thankful for. I’m just going to jump right into the task because; One) it’s hard to create a list of a hundred of anything and Two) as a bit of a nihilist, in the middle of an existential crisis, it’s hard to feel genuinely thankful while still coping with so much loss.

I’m willing to bet that if it weren’t for the high powered payday edible that sent me into a reflective weekend, I’d be dragging my feet for this assignment but right now, I’m still riding a sense of clarity that this assignment may actually help me get a little perspective. Please note that the list that I’m about to share is in no specific order so try not to confuse the order as an order of importance to me. With that, I give…

100 Things That I’m Thankful For:

1. Writing: If I didn’t have writing, I’d probably be dead in my early twenties because it was discovering this as a passion that got me to climb out of my self-destructive hole. Granted I still climb back in from time to time but now only for short visits since I have too many projects to do.
2. This Blog: I feel like I would have completely lost my mind if I didn’t have this blog to help me transition from my two-decade dream to become a legitimate screenwriter to where I now want to write novels with standard prose. Not only has it given me the creative outlet that I need but it’s also been an awesome approach to self-training.
3. My Mom: Though we do have our ups and downs, she is one of the only people who has been there for me through everything.
4. My Sisters: The may not be as active in their efforts but I know I can turn to them if I really need to.
5. My Dad: Though we barely speak because we are cut from the same cloth and are both too socially awkward to keep in touch, I still know he’s there is I really needed.
6. My Nephew: I genuinely feel that this little kid may be the real reason I’m still going. Since I moved back home where he also lives, I find that I force myself to be in a better mood to avoid ruining his childhood in hopes that he won’t grow up to be like myself. I’m willing to bet that if he weren’t here over the past couple of years, I would be even more of a recluse than I already am.
7. My Nieces and Nephews: I feel bad that I’m not a better uncle to these kids, but that’s mainly because I live in Seattle for most of their youth. I’m closer now and love when they hang out
8. All Of My Old Friends: Even though I don’t really talk to anyone anymore because, for me, it’s just too painful to live in the periphery making my relationships all or nothing, for the same reason I’m not closer with my dad, but I’m still thankful for the memories that were formed before I gave up on the world.
9. My Cousin Jordan: Of anyone who I know from my hometown, he’s the only person who actively tries to maintain a friendship, even as I continue to push people away.
10. My Family In General: Even though I hide from everyone because of the shame that I have over my mid-life mental breakdown, I’m still happy that they’re all there.
11. All The Podcasts That I Listen To: If I didn’t have these show to supplement my need for conversation, I would probably be completely out of my mind.
12. Howard Stern: Though I don’t currently listen to him as much as I’d like to nowadays, I am still very thankful for this man. As disgusting as you might think he is, the fact that he used to interview everyone from strippers to celebrities as if they were humans and not their work is the main reason why I’ve always, at least tried, to look at the world through other’s eye since this show taught me to see so many different points of view.
13. My Dog: Though she can be a bit of a pain in the ass with her picky cat-like ways, I still love this little dog because she gives me something outside of myself to care for.
14. The Internet: Though it is definitely also a curse, the internet has provided so many ways to make life easier for me as a shut-in.
15. Medical Marijuana: This might be a lifesaver because I used to hate the drug recreationally, but now that I use it as a tool to fight my insomnia, I no longer find myself in dangerous predicaments with alcohol and pills that I used to use in my desperate attempts for slumber.
16. Having My Own Space: I’m thankful that as the only boy in the house growing up, I’ve always had my own space which allowed me to cultivate my imagination.
17. My Imagination: I don’t think non-creative people realize just how deep creative-type can dig into fantastical worlds to where sometimes the lines can blur between reality and made up worlds, so I’m happy to have this superpower.
18. The Dollar Tree: Though it’s not filled with the healthiest of choices, the store up the street has been a saving grace during the starving artist phase of my midlife-crisis recovery process.
19. Cheap Online Schools: I really wish they had options like this when I was young because now when I feel like I have writer's block, I’ll sign up for one of these ten dollar courses or maybe two to work on as I get back into a creative state of mind.
20. YouTube: Again, like with the podcast, watching people’s vlogs has probably saved some of my hope for humanity ever since I started to close myself off to the world.
21. My Computers: I recently bought a new computer, and at first I was going to transfer my stuff to throw the old machine away, but I’ve just spent too many important hours with that thing creating my stories that there’s no way I could send it off to die.
22. Poke Bowls: This is my favorite new food that I’ve discovered in quite a while.
23. Pillows: As a really big guy, I struggle to find comfort, so I love having as many pillows as I can to cram into any crevice that needs a little extra padded support.
24. My Vornado Fan: Again, as a big guy, I easily overheat and this summer I discovered the Vornado brand of fan, and it’s been a real game changer.
25. Winter: I’m glad that there is a time of year for me with colder weather and less sun. It almost feels like I have the opposite of Season Affective Disorder where my depression is stronger during the months where there is plenty of sun that creates nothing but oppressive heat.
26. Carne Asada Burritos: I’m thankful I grew up in San Diego where they know how to make real burritos and not this Mission-style garbage filled with rice and beans as filler instead of focusing on the meat.
27. Box Wine: Now that I’m no longer a daily drunk and am just a weekend warrior, a box of wine is nice because it’s the perfect amount of booze to get me through the weekend of warrioring.
28. Saturday Night Live: The SNL challenge that I’m currently working on saved me from giving up on writing altogether because the year before I started the challenge, I was going to give up on the blog and try to get into the world of coding.
29. SquareSpace: Even though I know enough coding to create my own website from scratch, for TheWickerBreaker.com it’s so much easier to use their drag and drop system.
30. Grammarly: This has been a heaven send of an app in that it goes much deeper into grammar and spellchecking that I need to help me deal with my dyslexia while working through the rewrite process.
31. Comedy In General: Even though I’m now jaded to the point where I barely laugh, I still surround myself with comedy to avoid getting trapped in the miserable mindset that I get trapped in while following the news.
32. Documentaries: I think I love this genre because even though the end product is edited to create a traditional story structure, I like the wild card aspect where the truth can force a documentary into directions that the filmmakers may have never intended to go.
33. Doug Loves Movies: I know I listed podcasts in general but I’ve got a hundred list items here so I’m going to dig into individual shows and I love Doug and his love of movies.
34. Stop Podcasting Yourself: I love these Canadians, and it’s fun when they have on one of my teachers/friend who taught writing for sketch comedy when I was in film school.
35. The Complete Guide To Everything: I love how this show has been going on for years with the set up that these two friends are going to break down a specific topic only to end up rambling on about every but the topic of the day. It reminds me of the old days when my friends and I would attempt something like this only to instantly lose our focus. That said it’s still a quality show and not just two goofballs just fooling around.
36. Our Big Dumb Mouth: I like these guys because politically they are just right of the center the same distance I am to the left, so we share many similar views about how both parties in the two party system really suck so it’s interesting to see how much we’re the same but different.
37. The Todd Glass Show: I love this guy because he’s like a big kid playing in a world of imagination that reminds me of how I spend my pretend time while preparing to write.
38. Daves Of Thunder And The Fact That It’s Back: Daves of Thunder was one of my favorite podcast when it first came out, but unfortunately it only lasted a year or two. No, I’m back and pleased as punch because this is such a funny show.
39. Jordan, Jesse Go!: This is one of the first podcasts that I ever discovered and I still a fan after so many years.
40. My Brother, My Brother, And Me: Is part of the same network as JJGo and I’ve been listening to both shows ever since I discovered the podcast medium.
41. Comedy Bang Bang: This might be one of the most brilliant shows out there because of how the improvising guests create stories that go on for years. It doesn’t matter how much time has past, or who is involved in the guest pairing everyone always picks up exactly where they left of creating a seamless fictional mega world that reminds me of my interconnected work.
42. Womp It Up: This spin-off of Comedy Band Bang, is not only hilarious but it also has the mega world aspect the I just mentioned I love.
43. How Did This Get Made: Though I’m no longer as big of a fan of film since working in the industry destroyed the magic, I still like to hear people talk about crappy movies.
44. Those Conspiracy Guys: Whether or not I agree with their conspiratorial ideas, I still really like the comedic way this show share that concepts that are out there.
45. Mysterious Universe: Just like with Those Conspiracy Guys, I don’t know what I truly believe about the paranormal, but I love to hear the stories about what’s out there.
46. That Week In SNL: Though I haven’t listened to as many of these shows at this point, I’m thankful for these guys because they are the only people to acknowledge my SNL posts on a regular basis.
47. My Paycheck: Even though I have a lot of mixed feelings about my day job, it’s much nicer to live a life where I get paid on the regular as opposed to the year before I found this work from home job when I was barely scraping by doing gig work.
48. Skill-Based Reality Shows: Though I’m not a huge fan of reality shows that focus on dating or just following reality stars as the roam around, I love the competitive shows that test contestant’s skills because it’s nice to see people attempt to live out their dreams with the added passion that competition brings.
49. Movies: As much as I struggle to sit through scripted content now that I see nothing but story structure, I’m still thankful that they are there and can wait for the paradigm shift that has to happen to get me back in the seats of my local movie theater.
50. My Works Website Was Down On Friday: It was nice to get an impromptu three day weekend because the server for my work from home job went down.
51. My Works Website Is Still Down Today: If the impromptu three-day vacation wasn’t good enough, day number four is going to be awesome because this post is taking way longer than I thought that it would plus, I’m excited to start a new class now that I’ve got some time off.
52. My Time: I know that many people just don’t understand, but I am more thankful for my free time than I am for anything else in the world.
53. Magic Mushroom: Though it’s sporadic that I get my hands on the stuff, once I stopped taking them socially at parties I’ve found that taking them as a meditative tool has changed my whole outlook on the world, well, at least as far as nature goes, mankind still continues to let me down.
54. Night Time: Just like with winter, night time is my time to shine with the cooler weather and soft light that’s easier on my sensitive blue eyes, night time is the prime time where I actually feel like I’m me.
55. That There Is So Much Wonder In This Universe: I like that there aren’t a lot of answers to all of our questions, I just wish that people would lighten up on those who explore the stranger areas of existence instead of just buying into the “official” storyline. Granted you can/should use what we’ve agreed to think as a base but I’d don’t see what so wrong with questioning things like time travel and interdimensional beings.
56. Indie Films From The ‘90s And Early ‘00s: This was an era that was more open to experimentation which sent me down my experimental road. I will still go back to watch movies from this era even though I drag my feet when it comes to anything news.
57. Kicked In The Head: This was one of the first movies that I saw that told a slice-of-life story in the style that I was trying to develop in my own work.
58. The Delicate Art Of A Rifle: Was the next movie to teach me that as long as it’s interesting, it’s okay to let a story meander.
59. The National Lampoons Vacation Series: The first movie was a family favorite before my parent’s divorce, so this series always felt like it created a window of what the family would have looked like if their relationship worked out.
60. Synecdoche, New York: This movie made me cry, not just because of the story but because it showed me evidence that if I could ever properly articulate the thoughts that I have in my head, there’s a place on this planet for this brand of convoluted/complex storytelling. I don’t think that my skills are there yet, but this movie provides the hope that I could possibly get there if I continue to practice.
61. I Never Got Into Really Hard Drug: I danced with death enough with my prescribed pills and over the counter sleep aids by mixing them with alcohol in my effort to escape all of my problems. I could only imagine the mess that I’d be on harder drugs because I really love the feeling of sedation.
62. Stand-Up Comedy: Though I now mainly get my fix of comedians through their guest appearances on podcasts where I get to hear them as real people. I’m still thankful that these people still mean something to me, unlike movies and music where I barely take place in either medium.
63. Brian Reagan: Not only has this man always cracked me up, but it’s also nice to know that he’s a go-to clean comedian that I can that I can play for everyone from my uptight Mormon family member to the crudest of my degenerate friends.
64. Doug Stanhope: He’s a bit on the other extreme in that he’s completely filthy but inspired me to be as honest as I can be while trying to share my story.
65. Comedy Central: This was a significant source of enjoyment for me when I was a kid and even though I rarely watch it anymore, I’m still thankful it was there during my upbringing.
66. Christopher Hitchens: Even though he’s now gone, he’s the first vocal Atheist that I ever discovered during the early days of the internet. It felt nice to see that there were others like me who had a voice that people were listening to.
67. Cheese: It’s one of my favorite food no matter how it's prepared or what is the flavor.
68. Beer: Though I barely drink the stuff anymore I’m still thankful for my past with the substance because it always played a part in the time that I spent with my friends.
69. My Crazy Past: As much as I hate it, I also really love some of the chaotic stories that led me to the place and time.
70. My Air Fryer: As you may know, I live in a garage, so this allows me to live like it’s more of a studio by providing a way for me to cook my food.
71. My Instant Pot: I’m thankful for this for similar reasons that I like the air fryer, plus it gives me the option to cook different types of food.
72. My Purple Mattress: I used to sleep on a crappy futon, so it’s nice to now have such a comfortable bed.
73. The Music From My Past: Though I barely listen to music anymore because the stuff that I like makes me way too emotional, I’m still thankful to those bands that created a soundtrack to my angst-filled younger life.
74. My Quirky Way Of Thinking: Even though more often than not, it leads me to feel like an outcast, I wouldn’t trade my outside the box thinking over being normal for anything in the world.
75. My Dedication To My Own Cause: Whether or not I ever make it, I’m glad that I’ve always had it in me to keep going even though most people would have quit long before they landed in the place where I’m at right now.
76. The Fact That I Live In A House With A Pool: I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that I’m a Pisces, but one of the things that really bummed me out when I moved to the Pacific North West was how I barely had an opportunity to swim and escape the full gravity of the real world. Now I’m very happy to live in a home with a swimming pool that I can jump in whenever I want.
77. Shorts: I don’t think I could live in a world where I was only allowed to wear pants.
78. I Grew Up When I Did: I think I was raised at just the right time to experience enough of the old internet world to have a better grasp of where history is coming from. I was young enough to not fear the technology as it grew but at the same time, I was young enough to experience the perceived innocence of a more private world.
79. Chocolate: They say that chocolate taps into the same reward system as heavy drugs, so I like to partake of this innocent treat from time to time.
80. The Fact That I No Longer Wake To An Alarm Clock: Though I wish this was because I was so rich that I don’t have to worry about the time, but either way, I still enjoy having enough control of my schedule that I could pretty much do what I want when I want.
81. The Fact That I’m Seeing Traffic Growth To My Blog: I’ve been at this so long that it’s nice to see that I’m finally getting some attention even though I do barely any marketing at all.
82. The Fact That I’m Making Around A Dollar A Day Through My Ads: This is a new addition to the site, and that mainly brings in change but like the traffic, I’m seeing growth, plus making any money at all validates my efforts to where I may put more effort into marketing in order to generate even more growth.
83. Summer Is Almost Over: I can’t wait for the multimonth heatwave to be over with.
84. My New Bedframe Is In The Mail: My recent paycheck went to a bunch of things to make my world more comfortable, and now I’m thankful it’s all on the way.
85. Naps: This post has turned out to take so long, I’m ready to take a nap right now.
86. The Opportunity To Make Money Online: I’m not just talking about the gig work that I did to scrape by but, in general, I’m thankful that there is at least a way where I can figure out how to make a real living without ever having to leave my house.
87. I Have Myself Trained To Live Within My Means: Though I’m fully willing to splurge when I do have extra money and am horrible when it comes to saving, I’m thankful that I ruined my credit so much when I was young that I’m now forced to stick with living a life that I can afford and don’t have to worry about debt at all.
88. My Ability To Self Entertain: As lonely as my life is right now, I couldn’t imagine living this life if I weren’t able to entertainment myself, which is why I think I would be a good fit for the new show called Castaways.
89. The New Show Castaways: This new show has the perfect blend of reality show-style content and narrative work that it’s the only show that I’ve ever seen that I legitimately want to be on. Granted, I have wanted to go on shows like Biggest Loser, simply because I’d fit because I’m fat, this is the first show that I feel like I would be a good fit in ways that might benefit that actual show since there is a journalling aspect as well which, along with my desire to live alone in the woods would make this the perfect opportunity to test this lifestyle out while providing fun content for the show.
90. That More Damage Wasn’t Done During My Youth: Part of me is thankful that I only had to deal with verbal abuse. Though it killed my self-esteem to where I will probably die alone, if I didn’t opt for isolation, at the size that I’m it would have been very easy for me to end up in a world filled with a lot more violence if I was pushed in just a little bit more.
91. That I Am A Pacifist: I don’t think that I would be able to live with myself if I were to physically hurt someone out of violence. I feel bad enough for any emotional stress that I might have caused by my youthful love of offensive jokes when people’s feelings might have been hurt while I thought they were in on the joke.
92. That Point In The Day Where Everything Is Finally Done: There is nothing better than that time of night where my head first hits the pillow, and I’m able to breathe a sigh of relief that all I have left to do for the day is sleep.
93. That This Post Is Almost Over: This is taking way longer than I thought it would and now I’m starting to grow tired and can’t wait to wrap this thing up so that I can enjoy day four of my four day weekend and take a nap before I start the above mentioned new class.
94. I’m Finally Crawling Out Of A Multiyear Bout Of Depression: Though I’m not fully out, I’m thankful that I’m in a much better place that I was just two years ago when I literally struggled to get out of bed.
95. Any Reader Who Check In On The Regular Who I Am Unaware Of: I get very little feedback, but I do see through the stats that I get quite a few repeat readers who I’m thankful for even though I don’t know who they are.
96. These Strangers Who Click On My Ads: There’s nothing more exciting than going to the ads homepage and see that I’ve made more than the couple of cents a day that comes from the passive viewers (who I still do appreciate.)
97. That I Don’t Need Religion To Motivate Me To Be Good: This goes back to the fact that I’m thankful that I didn’t turn out worse. I have raised an Atheist, in that my parents didn’t talk about religion at all because I think my dad had a falling out with the church but my parents were actually both believer. I didn’t learn this until late in life, but I feel this just led me to think for myself, and fear that if I was religious, the believer’s guilt might have sent me in a darker direction like I often hear about from believers in a God.
98. My Earliest Memories Of Childhood Were Good: Even though it might make the post-divorce chaos seem even worse because I feel like it adds to evidence that my life was on the right track at one point, I’m happy to have the fun family memories instead of remembering nothing but misery.
99. All The Fun That I Did Have: I may be very Eeyorish right now, I did have a lot of fun in my life. In fact, the whole reason I’m so down is that I feel like there’s no returning to these good times, especially now that I’m past a certain age.
100. None Of My Deathwishes Came True: I know the fact that I casually talk about this might create a “Boy who cried wolf,” effect on the topic, I am pretty lucky to still be here, and despite the fact that I still feel so lost, I am actually thankful that I still have a chance to explore this crazy existence.

Holy Crap that turned out to be a monster of a list but it was an interesting process. Again, thankfully today’s turned out to be an impromptu day off from work but all of that time freed up pretty much went into the assignment above. So, now I’m going to jump into the task for today so that I get finally wrap this thing up. Today’s assignment is a bit of a bummer because it’s asked me to share who the person is in my life who keeps my light burning.

The book is not talking about passion or love, just that person who sees that your down and knows how to step in with encouragements. Unfortunately, I’ve never had this person in my life, but you’ll have to wait for tomorrow to hear why I think this might be the case. Until then, it’s now time for me to wrap this thing up as usual by saying, good day and good luck to you and all of your projects.

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker

P.S. Below are links to my novel, which I plan to promote as part of Operation Achieve Anything, as well as a link to where you can buy the book that is providing the structure to this project in case you would like to purchase it in order to play along.