#248: Stop sleeping with my cell phone nearby.
Due Date: 9-5-2015
Resolution: I've been struggling with Resolution #36 to stop sleeping with the TV on. I was good at it for about a month but then TV in bed slowly crept back into my life. I just needed something to distract me from my thoughts and music wasn't cutting it.
I don't know if it's the meds but a few days ago I was trying to sleep but my thoughts were racing. This time I wanted the silence so I could focus on what I wasn't thinking. These were positive thoughts about my projects and not self-hating thoughts about doom and gloom.
I shut off the TV and had a good night sleep.
The only problem was every time I woke to go to the bathroom or to grab a drink of water I found myself checking my phone. Sometimes I think I even woke up just to check the phone.
Last night I dropped into bed too exhausted to get back up when I noticed I left my phone on my desk. I slept straight through the night for the first time in years. I think part of the reason is that I knew I had no distractions anywhere within reach.
It was nice.
I'm going to continue this silent undistracting sleep environment.
Update #1: The Conclusion.
Just like many of these resolutions I started this one, to stop sleeping with my cell phone near my bed, very strong. I went months making sure that the phone was across the room from me when decided it was time to go to bed.
Then I moved back home to San Diego feeling pretty defeated which led to a lack of discipline in pretty much all facets of my life.
Now I'm back to sleeping with my phone in the bed with the excuse that I don't have a clock. This is sort of a lie because I now set my own schedule and don't really need to know what time it is when I wake up. It's also a lie because I end up using it to surf the internet when I am feeling sleepless but since it doesn't matter when I wake it doesn't matter when I sleep so I am in a viscous cycle of apathy.
Maybe someday I'll figure it out and may or may not revisit this goal to give up the phone in bed. If I do, I may or may not keep you posted.