Resolution #88: Add Human Features To All The Inanimate Object In My Abode...
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Date: 3-29-2014
Due Date: 3-29-2015
Resolution: This Christmas my mom bought me one of these breakfast sandwich makers.
Later a friend posted a photo on Facebook as she announced that she also got a breakfast sandwich maker for Christmas. It wasn't until I saw this photo that I realized this sandwich machine looks an awful lot like the robot from the movie The Black Hole.
I then vowed to decorate my breakfast sandwich maker to look just like him. I was half-joking at the time, but now I'm beginning to like the idea of decorating all my appliances to look like robots.
In doing so, not only will I make it feel like I'm living on the set of Pee Wee's Playhouse, but it will add a surreal aspect to my life as I pace around my apartment muttering to myself only to turn to my googly-eyed refrigerator to support my arguments for or against time travel, depending on how I feel at any given moment.
Result #88: I Gave Up On This One Soon After Sobering Up And Realizing I Don't Want To Live In Pee Wee's Playhouse…
Update #1: The Conclusion…
Date: 3-29-2015
Along with the story I shared in the initial resolution, I believe the night before I set this, I was high and while on a trip to the bathroom there were two rolls of toilet paper on the tank of the toilet that looked like eye and the seat looked like a mouth. I was so humored by this that I started to look for faces in everything that I owned.
At the time I genuinely wanted to emphasize these features so that there would be novelty everywhere I looked. I don't think it was long before I realized that this was going against every attempt I was making to create a mature and cozy living space.
So I was willing to accept the failure and move on.
