The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started at the White House with a parody of The Untouchables re-enacting the scene where Al Capone hosts a dinner and attacks one of his own men with a bat after being let down. In this parody, Ronald Reagan plays the notorious mob boss who is angry with his staff over letting him down with the Iran-Contra Scandal a beats Lovitz to death for being the person who was sloppy enough to get caught. Though the beating is pretty violent ending with blood pouring from Lovitz's head, it's not enough to keep him down as he lifts his noggin to announce, "Live from New York..."
2. Steve Martin then officially opened the show with a monolog about being excited to come back to TV after spending so much time working on movies then makes a quick joke about the difference before plugging his upcoming films and letting us know that the entire cast is returning for this season and absolutely nobody was let go. Finally, he finished the monolog by informing the audience of the Technical Union's strike going on at the time that ended up making this a short season.
3. We then got a fake ad for Gary Hart playing on his recent affair and shot like a foreign romance film with the angry ex-lover trashing their love den only to be swept off her feet once again as soon as "Gary Hart" steps into the scene while the announcer proclaims, "Gary Hart, You can't get him out of your mind."
4. Common Knowledge was a game show sketch where like the title implies contestants are quizzed on what's supposed to be common knowledge only the show has all the answers wrong but one contestant still ends up getting a large chunk of the answers correct. It turns out that the show didn't get its answers from the history books but instead polled the average seventeen-year-old highlighting how dumb the young generation is who the focus should have been a statement on the quality of schools from government underfunding.
5. The NFL Today was a parody of the real show of the same name where Kevin Nealon plays the host who interviews Phil Hartman as Jimmy The Greek before introducing a, "You make the call" segment where the home audience is given a chance to predict a referee call. This leads into one more interview but all of this seems too real to be funny especially with so many sports reference from so far back in the past which is just not anything I was all that interested in the first place. 
6. We then went to a dinner between Victoria Jackson and Steve Martine where throughout their conversation a Slide Whistle Sound Effect is added to everyone's inner-thoughts.
7. Sting then took to the stage to perform We'll Be Together.
8. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Al Franken then dropped in for an update on The Decade Of Al Franken from back when this was more of a reoccurring routine. Rather than focusing on the decade of him, he used the segment to call out presidential candidate in this year full of political scandal. Victoria Jackson also returned for a segment to complain about the way the media treats women and when Dennis Miller calls her out for being a bit ditsy herself she replies in song with the tune I Am Not A Bimbo pointing out that her light personality doesn't mean that she doesn't have a brain.
9. We then met 007's accountant who is extremely upset by how much James Bond frivolously spends on his missions leading to a classic James Bond opening scene for a fictional film called Bullets Aren't Cheap where we see how the secret agent switches from frivolous to frugal when it's actually his money that's involved as opposed to his treatment of his countries dime. 
10. This was followed by a sketch that took place on a Navy boat with John Lovitz and Steve Martin enjoy the sunset at the end of the day. Lovitz asks Martin a question to which the underling asked for Permission To Speak Freely and when granted permission he tells his superior to go ahead and screw off. This raise in argumentative voices then gets the captain involved by asking about what was going on. This gets John Lovitz to ask if he too has Permission To Speak Freely before he also ends up going off.
11. Sting then returned to the stage to perform Little Wing.
12. Adventures In The Lost Realm was a fictional show of a sketch similar to Land Of The Lost where a group of modern scientists and explorers stumble into an area of the world where dinosaurs still exist. Right out the gate, a T-Rex snatches up John Lovitz and then takes forever to eat him while the survivors wait it out to sneak by to at least attempt to save the body. This goes on for so long that the survivors never end up getting their chance. 
13. Pumping Up with Hans and Franz then made their debut where they introduced themselves and share the fact that they are Arnold Schwarzenegger's cousins before first showing us how to work out before going on to show us how to pump.
14. Finally, Steve Martin closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with a parody of Fatal Attraction II where Sean Penn is in his dressing room going over his lines when he gets a call from someone named Alex that turns out to be Alex Forrest played by L.L. Cool J. who is a fictional character that Penn met in prison and is now a psychotic stalker. By the end of the sketch, Sean seems to start to give into Alex when he agrees to meet with him after the show before announcing, "Live from New York..." 
2. Don Pardo then officially opened the show a reminder/announcement that there will be no photography during the show referring to an incident with the paparazzi that landed Sean Penn in jail which also inspired the opening sketch. Sean Peen then goes on to do a monolog reassuring that the gay prison relationship referenced in the opening sketch was just a joke before reminding the audience that he's married to Madonna then goes on to tell the tale of his childhood involvement with evil photographers which is why he refuses to reveal his face whenever a photographer is near.
3. Wall Street Week was a PBS panel show style sketch with the topic being a recent deep drop in the market and where a group of nervous talking head investors talked to Future Man who is from the year 2013 who isn't nervous at all because he knows exactly when the market will bottom out so that he can start to invest in order to maximize his profits but is unable/unwilling to share his investment plan making his visit a bit pointless.
4. Church Chat returned for another installment where once again the Church Lady badgers her guest about their relationship with "SATAN." This installment's guests are some stereotypical Arab Ambassador who gets mocked for thinking his country has a right to do what they want with their own oil and rather than seeing this as a negative thing this was a time when America's greed was happily cheered on and not seen as hypocritical like the take seems to be these days. Sean Penn also stopped by where they continued to play off of Penn's run in with the paparazzi ending with the Church Lady getting punched out for talking about his wife. This turns into an all-out brawl as Penn then turns and attacks the Arab while the Church Lady gets back to her feet to fight back and knocks Penn out by bashing a planter over his head.
5. Pitman & Bullock was a fake ad for an investment firm that has a Pit Bull as a mascot and uses its violent side as a metaphor for how aggressive the firm will be with your money, locking on to your investments and never letting go.
6. We then returned to The Teeny Cafe the hipster lounge that is so small that there is only enough room for four of the hippest patrons in town who all eat tiny food while listening to tunes played on a grand piano that takes up more than half of the space available. In this installment, Penn plays De Niro who pesters his agent about an upcoming role before Nora Dunn plays her Babette character who sings a weird version of the song Memories with Jon Lovitz after the two had translated it from English to French then back to French again. 
7. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Kevin Nealon dropped in to discuss the stock market crash but then as always, he ended up rambling on about a wide range of topics that are funny but have nothing to do with the topic at hand.
8. We then went to a family living room where Victoria Jackson and Sean Penn are making out when Victoria's parents came down for a Late Night Talk, not minding the make-out session at all. Instead, these two parents just want to talk as if it were a day time casual conversation and not the sort of thing you'd expect in the middle of the night.
9. L.L. Cool J. then took to the stage to perform Go Cut Creator Go.
10. Discover then returned for another installment where this time the idiot of a host visit a reptile specialist where he misses the point of every shared detail and even ends up getting Sean Penn killed by interfering with the off limit venomous snake experiment that he was working on. 
11. We then got a news reel style introduction from the black and white days about the men coming back from WWII. This then turned into a sketch where Jon Lovitz plays a rich man with a driver who's picking up his brother that's one of the soldiers that was mentioned in the intro who wants to run one of the family clubs now that he's home. Lovitz wants to keep his brother from the mob so he tries to talk him out of the family business while doing a bad job at subtly trying to hide the truth behind the family income but eventually gives in and brings him on as a partner.
12. Michael Penn & The Pull then took to the stage to perform This & That.
13. Dr. Daniel Rudolph, Cat Dentist was a fun short film where the title is enough to explain it all, only the titular dentist treats the cat like a human patient and not like a vet treating a cat. 
14. Finally, Sean Penn closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with the parody Lifestyles Of The Rich, Famous, & Scary where "Robin Leach" interviews the real Elvira to start off this Halloween episode and the real Ric Ocasek gets confused for Keith Richards when he comes in to deliver a plate of holiday themed snacks which eventually leads to "Leach's" announcement of, "Live from New York..."
2. Dabney Coleman then officially opened the show with a monolog about being scared to host a live show on such a frightening night while highlighting that this is the Halloween episode, he goes on to joke about his kids but he genuinely seems unconfident as the story seems to go nowhere.
3. We then got a fake ad for Fiber AKA "Nature's Broom" with Nora Dunn singing a fiber themed version of the song Fever by Peggy Lee. 
4. The Winning Spirit was a talk show sketch where Jan Hooks interviewed a blind Dabney Coleman about the accident that caused him to lose his sight but this wasn't a from birth disability so he extra pissed off about sharing his story as he bitterly answers all of Jan's questions about his other senses.
5. Don't Go Down To The Basement was a horror film of a sketch with a Jason type character who is hanging out in the basement while Dana Carvey and Victoria Jackson are upstairs making out. The moment Victoria senses something strange is going on, the two run off to the neighbors opting to not put on any clothes which shifts the focus of the rest of the sketch to be these two teens in their underwear with the psycho killer being more of an afterthought.
6. Scoutmaster was a sketch that started at a Boy Scout camp fire with Lovitz telling a scary story. After he finishes, Dana Carvey is next at bat to share his scary tale only Lovitz ruins the vibe by spoiling the end of the story. Dabney Coleman played the Scout Leader who tells the last horror story of the night but the deeper and deeper he goes it becomes clear that he's talking about his wife.
7. The Cars then took to the stage to perform Strap Me In.
8. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, all we got was Dennis Miller giving us the news without any special guests.
9. Dr. Dick Mauser: Marriage Counselor was a sketch where Dabney plays a counselor to help Kevin Nealon and Nora Dunn work through their issues without having to resort to divorce. It starts out the usual complaining but then as Nora's ranting goes on Dabney and Kevin find that their best friend soulmates.
10. Jan Hooks and Dana Carvey then got stuck in a dying car out in the middle of nowhere as if they were grown ass adults who still hang out at make out point. After several failed attempts to start the car, Dana spots Count Dracula, Self-Taught Auto Mechanic, who helps them get it to start.
11. The Pat Stevens Show returned for another installment of more of the same. This week, Pat opens the show with a session of self-hypnosis before interviewing Dabney who plays the owner of a fur coat factory. This is one of the first installments that actually is a little funny because this was the first time that the interview didn't seem real being that it used to seem to focus on the accuracy of the impersonation over focusing on the funny.
12. We then went to a Student Council Meeting with the matter at hand being options for the school's new mascot which mainly just makes fun of the young adult generation who are now older than me who now act like they weren't looked at a stupid the say way they look at millennials. At the end of the sketch, they finally agree that the new team name was to be The Sex Machines.
13. The Cars then returned to the stage to perform Double Trouble.
14. Black Monday was a sketch where Dabney Coleman played an investment banker who gets involved in a confrontation with one of his clients following the recent stock market crash and Dabney ends up tricking the angry investor into investing more after guilt tripping him into thinking that he didn't lose enough which would be a sign of a successful career and though there is a bit of a back and forth he eventually ends up getting more money.
15. Finally, Dabney Coleman closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with a parody of the movie The Paper Chaser which is a movie that I have never heard of yet this is the second sketch about this '70s film. Last time a summarized the sketch as the fake sequel to a Good Will Hunting type of movie from the past, so this sketch has the same tone only the fake title is The Rolling Paper Chase and is about a stoner professor who introduces marijuana to one of his students in an effort to open his mind and by the way Lovitz as the professor prepares for the smoke session it's obvious this isn't his first time. He and his class then get super baked and share their stoner ideas that sound stupid in tone but if you think about what they are actually saying it is rather wise, especially when Phil Hartman, the first to get stoned, announces, "Live from New York..."
2. Robert Mitchum then officially opened the show with a monolog about live TV and how he is not intimidated because he's toward the end of his career and is more excited about the after party in a way that borders on being too serious to where I'm not sure if he is going put in the effort or just cost through the show while also being funny because his tone does sound like he genuinely doesn't care.
3. Compulsion was a fake ad for what looks to be a new perfume that made fun of the artsy style trend in perfume marketing from the time, only we find out in the end that it's not actually a perfume but Compulsion is a new brand of disinfectant for those who have OCD. 
4. Death Be Not Deadly was the parody of an old noir film with Robert Mitchum as an aging detective who gets a visit from Kevin Nealon who wants to high him for a job. We soon find that what seems to be voice-over work sticking with the noir style is actually Robert Mitchum saying what is on his mind and doesn't care that he can be heard by his potential client.
5. The Mountain Man was a sketch that introduced us to Dana Carvey as the titular character who gets a visit from Jon Lovitz and Victoria Jackson who want to hire him for a tour. This leads to a battle of alpha male dominance with the grizzly old man even though Lovitz has no interest in taking the lead. This eventually devolves to just bullying as Carvey continually attacks Lovitz's masculinity because of his blue collar life.
6. Simply Red then took to the stage to perform The Right Thing.
7. Once about, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Victoria Jackson dropped in with advice for the parents out in the world, telling parents of girls to focus on their bodies because of the power that woman have as long as they look good then goes on to show her diapered daughter's baby workout. A. Whitney Brown also dropped in for another Big Picture installment talking about the Conservative's failure to deal with the issue of pot.
8. We then got another Sweeney Sisters sketch only this one didn't take place in a club but instead took place in Robert Mitchum's apartment where he, as Jan Hooks' Sweeney Sister's husband wants to break up the band to spend his retirement years together without having to deal with this showbiz nonsense. Nora Dunn then showed up as the second Sweeney and the two have a medley sing-off.
9. Out Of Gas was a noir of a short film that took place at a gas station where Robert Mitchum plays the owner of the gas station but still acts like a noir detective as he helps a loyal customer deal with her gas cap issue ending on a twist that would take too much explaining because it's rather convoluted even though it makes perfect sense in the world of the story and it wasn't that bad of a film.
10. Macho Hairstylists is another sketch where the title says it all, with Mitchum and Hartman working in a women's hair salon without being the typical gay stylist that was usually portrayed at the time.
11. BeautyBath was a fake ad for a bubble bath that took place in Imelda Marcos's mansion with her needing to relax while the place is taking on gunfire due to the recent attempt at a coup.
12. Simply Red returned to the stage to perform Suffer.
13. Story Of The Jewel where Dana Carvey plays a member of the upper class who gets a visit from his filthy father who shares the tale of how he ended up with this homeless appearance all within the first half of the day because he decided to take one of the families many fine cars because he couldn't find his driver and things got wackier and wackier as the story continued to grow. Like earlier, this gets too convoluted to delve too deep into but it's funny in the world of the story.
14. Finally, Robert Mitchum closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with A Message From the Vice-President of the United States, George Bush who wants to clear-up that he is not a wimp for not standing up to Ronald Reagan during the Iran-Contra Scandal. He then goes on to lay out a pretty evil game plan of stuff that he started as VP then unbeknownst to the show, solidified later on when he became the actual president, of course, ending his address with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
2. Candice Bergen then officially opened the show with a live turkey and monolog about Thanksgiving and a tale of her history of having turkeys as pets with the story of her first turkey named Larry, who is not the turkey in her arms as she introduced him as Dave. 
3. Pumping Up With Hans And Franz then returned for another installment where the two muscle heads introduce Phil Hartman, who plays Helmet, who they plan to train in order to fix his flabby body but other than that, it's just the usual Hans and Franz routine which was the funniest thing in the world to me as a kid but is another case of a sketch that has lost nostalgia points due to being over played and all of the "funny guys" impressions of this sketch that still goes on today.
4. Anne Boleyn was a period piece of a sketch where Candice Bergen plays one of King Henry VIII's wives who wants a divorce and when she finds out that the only way out is death by beheading. Rather than get her to change her desires to divorce this just gets her questioning what would be involved with her death as she has absolutely no interest in carrying on with the relationship and just wants to know how things will go down. Later, we actually do see the start to her execution as the narrator explains that it took three axes and just as many hours to finally put her down.
5. Judge Anthony Kennedy Ad was the fake political commercial using fear tactic against Ronald Reagan's new Supreme Court Justice pick. 
6. Ching Chang then returned for another installment of Dana Carvey's offensive chicken loving Chinaman character who gets a visit from Phil Hartman who plays another Chinese character who is supposed to be a sample of breaking stereotypes but this is still a sketch with three white people acting Chinese with horribly offensive accents. 
7. Cher with Paul Shaffer & The World's Most Dangerous Band then took to the stage to perform We All Sleep Alone.
8. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, something apparently went wrong because Dennis Miller went to introduce a "special guest," only to go silent as he looked off stage and said this was the first time a sketch blew up on him since working on the show. No one ever did come out and nothing was ever explained. 
9. We then met the real "Mayflower Madam" Sydney Biddle Barrows who was a real madam and told the tale of Thanksgiving Prostitution from the first-holiday celebration that was actually a brothel marketing tool. We then went to an actual sketch to see how the first Thanksgiving played out to bring in more Native American clientele and not what the school books say. 
10. Country Through And Through was a sketch/parody song where Dana Carvey plays a country star was isn't as proud of his redneck heritage but sings his complaints to a bit of an uplifting tune.
11. Cher with Paul Shaffer & The World's Most Dangerous Band then returned to the stage to perform I Found Someone.
12. Thought Balloons was a sketch that took place in a restaurant where we see thought balloons of what is actually going through a couple heads while both having a boring conversation. It reminded me a lot of a much later Dave Chappelle sketch that shows what is going through his mind when meeting with his fans.
13. We then went to a motel room where Phil Hartman is about to spend the night with a hooker. They are on the first floor and the blinds won't close so they keep getting a visit from a Peeping Tom who keeps getting caught and then runs off only to return seconds later.
14. Finally, Candice Bergen closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with Hartman as Ronald Reagan and DeVito as Mikhail Gorbachev in the back of the presidential limo on the way to one of the early Nuclear Disarmament Summits from around that time. In the sketch, Reagan can't stop looking at the birthmark on Gorbachev's head while attempting to give a tour of D.C. while only focusing on landmarks that were involved with dramatized history portrayed in movies. At one point Reagan considers the Pentagon as just a set for a movie and almost commits to giving Gorby a tour of the War Room until the limo driver steps in and says that would be a bad idea being that the Russians were still the bad guys at the time... unlike they are now? Anyway, the tour goes on with more bad info on tourist spots while Reagan keeps getting distracted by Gorbachev's head who finally says something in Russian that turns out to be, "Live from New York..." 
2. Danny DeVito then officially opened the show with a monolog where he promotes Throw Mama From The Train and apologizes for making such a blatant plug before going on to talk about his new son and the rest of his family and how happy they are to come back to the East Coast to visit DeVito's hometown. This leads to Danny, explaining how he grew up with Bruce Springsteen, which may or not be true, but this leads DeVito to share pictures from a yearbook that has obviously been set up for a joke where Danny was actually The Boss when the two were young. 
3. This was followed by a fake ad for Handi-Off which is a classic that I still can't get out of my head where Victoria Jackson is ashamed of her extra fingers with Handi-Off being an over the counter solution that will burn the extra digits off as if they were a common wart.
4. At The Movies was a parody of the Siskel And Ebert show with the same now, only in this edition, the two movie critic review a bunch of gay porn. The intro clip appears to be the "acting" portion of a real adult film from the '80s where the acting is super bad and they don't just jump right into action. The second clip is a fake porn acting scene where Danny DeVito played a pizza shop owner who puts the moves on his delivery boy that was played by Dana Carvey. For the third and final clip, we went back to the real clips of a porn that in the world of the sketch, was written by Gene Siskel. The sketch then ended with a recap of everything that was seen on the show.
5. Church Chat then returned for another segment with more of the same from the Church Lady. Again, I don't like this character or these sketches as much as I used to but I do still see why they were fun at the time and am not annoyed whenever one airs the way I get with some of the other characters that get a little repetitive especially after being ruined by everyone in the world doing their impersonation and by everyone in the world, I include myself as a resident of this planet, so I'm not saying it's everyone else's fault without me being involved.
6. Bryan Ferry then took to the stage to perform The Right Stuff.
7. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Kevin Nealon dropped in to talk about the recent increase of airline accidents only to end up rambling about everything else but the topic at hand.
8. The Jungle Room then returned for another black and white installment where Jon Lovitz plays a speakeasy owner who has ties to the mafia and runs the place with a very greedy hand and a harsh way of dealing with both his employees and customers. This sketch goes on for quite a while but the main point of it all is to get Victoria Jackson to horribly sing a song while attempting to be sexy in almost a Marilyn Monroe type of way with a lot of rambling in between.
9. White Trash Appraiser was a sketch reminiscent of The Antiques Roadshow only with DeVito and Hooks playing a white trash couple in a trailer who are getting their post of the Mona Lisa appraised. Not only was this couple tricked into thinking this was a painting, they have a whole bunch of mass produced items that they want to have appraised while thinking they are real. Eventually, the appraiser does find a very valuable diamond and goes on to play off that it is fake as well, only this is the one scam that the white trash couple was prepared for so when he tries to take the diamond off their hands, they deny him and run him out of the house.
10. Ann Landers' Playhouse was a sketch that took a letter to Ann as the host where her advice is acted out in a play. For this installment, the answer seeker wants to know how to deal with Mr. Right who isn't ready to propose while she is holding out sex for marriage. We then see Ann, played by Nora Dunn assertively turn down DeVito's advances more like a mother than a real person in this type of situation. Keeping in mind that in the letter this was Mr. Right yet she treats him super cold. She eventually gives in and for a second tries to jump his bones, then changes her tune again leading DeVito into a situation that might be considered date rape, that is until his sexual aggression grows and what was once mixed signals becomes borderline assault, all the while, "No means no," is not the underlying message of this sketch and DeVito's efforts to make out is just treated like a case of men being men while the audience laughed as this was perfectly acceptable.
11. Bryan Ferry then returned to the stage to perform Kiss & Tell.
12. We then met Danny DeVito as The Doorman for a high-end apartment building and get to witness him having to deal with the extremely wealthy residents who seem to have no idea who else they share the building with and only know how to make simple small talk while DeVito enthusiastically plays along, fully remembering all of the details as if he sees everyone as a true friend. At first I thought this was building to DeVito just acting super nice in an effort to get a tip only to find out that this was just one of those end of the night, sentimental sketches that I adore. 
13. Finally, Danny DeVito closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with Gorbachev's Incompetent Translator where they played a real clip of Gorbachev addressing the press with Kevin Nealon adding a crazy translation for the viewers where he seems to be making it up as he goes. In the end, we find out this translator is working for the brand new FOX Broadcasting Network so he tries to clear things up leading to the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
2. Angie Dickinson then officially opened the show with a monolog about her love of high-risk roles which makes her excited to be the host of this live show. She then discussed her career for a second then quickly threw to the first commercial of the night. Between the content, delivery, and length of this introduction, I'm fearing this might be a slump show.
3. This was followed by a repeat of the Docu-Fresh ad that promises to, "Fight Constitutional Odor" of old paper. I'm not fully sure if this is actually a repeat or something that was added for re-airings because the sites I reference for sketch lists for the nights disagree as to whether or not this was a part of the original show but I'm keeping it just in case.
4. The Stewardess was a sketch where Angie Dickinson played the stewardess on a red eye flight who casually wakes up passengers to find out if anyone knows how to fly the plane. Luckily, everyone is so out of it that no one senses the danger, except for Jan Hooks who looks out the window to see something wrong only to get smothered to death in Angie's panicked effort to keep anyone else from catching on. Angie eventually finds a pilot but after talking to him for a bit it's easy to see that he's delusional as he claims to be the captain of the Star Ship Enterprise but he's the only potential hope.
5. This was followed by a parody of Donahue where this week, Phil Hartman played the white haired host talks to the wives of the two dominating world leaders from the time. Nora Dunn played Mrs. Gorbachev who was apparently very popular with the American public at that time due to the one going peace talks from the time. Jan Hooks played Nancy Reagan who experienced the opposite results and was unpopular with the people her husband ruled. The audience doubling down on this sentiment with nothing but good things to say about the Soviet wife while making Nancy look to be a monster. 
6. Wedgie Fever! was a game show sketch with Phil Hartman as host, Victoria Jackson as a Vanna White style sidekick, and Jon Lovitz as the contestant who gets his underwear hooked up to a giant crane that rises a bit whenever he gets a wrong answer until he is eventually off the ground.
7. Buster Poindexter then took to the stage to perform Hot Hot Hot.
8. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Victoria Jackson then dropped in to review Three Men And A Baby only to focus more on explaining her rating system than actually discussing the film. "Stephen King" also check in via satellite to discuss his prolific career and doesn't even take a break from typing to give a proper interview. A. Whitney Brown then dropped in for another Big Picture segment where he discusses what we do now that the Red Scare is over after out peace talks with the USSR.
9. This was followed by a sketch that took place at Angie Dickinson's Christmas party where anything that is said by any of the guest's triggers a Traumatic Memory from someone else in the crowd to where even the most mundane attempt at conversation isn't safe without nearing bringing a person to tear.
10. David Gilmour then took to the stage to perform Ah, Robertson, It's You.
11. Police Women was a sketch that was a bit of a parody of Cagney and Lacey where the Lacey character moves from New York to LA and has a hard time coping with Angie Dickinson's glamorous approach to policing, with looks and a smile seem more important than using your brains to solve a crime. At one point Angie sends Lacey for undercover work to catch a casting agent who is selling drugs and he finds her average looks so disgusting that he can't believe her undercover role but still gets her on the casting couch which allows her to find the evidence during his post-sex nap.
12. The Assimilated Jew's Hanukkah was a fake album pitched by Henry Kissinger filled with songs for those Jews who want to keep their faith while implementing Christmas into their lives.
13. We then went to a bar was Dana Carvey played a passive patron who steps in to save Angie Dickinson from a brute of a man played by Phil Hartman by drinking a fifth of booze in seconds turning him into a superhero named Drunk Man who is too drunk to have any fear to the point where he doesn't even notice when he gets shot.
14. Finally, Angie Dickinson closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with Jesus' Surprise Party where as the title implies we see the apostles setting up for a surprise celebration of the Savior's 30th birthday and is filled with biblical jokes until John finally arrive without Jesus because Judas ruined the surprise and the son of God doesn't like being the center of attention... "at least not in that way." Just as everyone turns on Judas, Mary stops the fight by announcing, "Live from New York..."
2. Two Paul Simons then officially opened the show, one being the famous singer and the other being the senator who was running for president at the time. The two perform a routine as if they were confused as to who was actually supposed to be the host then go on compare stories about other times that the two have been confused in a pretty funny back and forth.
3. We then got a repeat of the Gary Hart Ad from earlier in the season.
4. Hans and Franz then returned for their Christmas edition of Pumping Up where they continue their repetitive but funny impersonation of Arnold's cousins where this week they try to help Paul Simon rehabilitate a recent injury. They also bring Helmet back out to make fun of him for being fat. Other than the addition of a few Christmas lights, I'm not sure why they referenced this as a holiday special. 
5. Desert Island Christmas was a sketch with Paul Simon and Victoria Jackson celebrating Christmas while being stranded on a desert island. The two go to exchange gifts and start with Victoria who made Paul a fully functional wrist watch, complete with a leather strap. We then went to Paul's gift which was just a shell he found on the beach. For round two of the gift exchange, Victoria made a fully functioning telescope against a lead weaved potholder and the extreme difference in quality gets Paul Simon super bummed out. Eventually, Victoria cheers him up enough to venture out to try his Christmas telescope. As he leaves, she hesitates to share that she also made him an ATV and decides to continue to hide it.
6. Master Thespian As Santa Claus then penned a letter about a recent acting role while sitting in his dressing room ready to go out and perform. We hear the flush of a toilet as we learn that this is not a dressing room but mall restroom instead. Not only is this not a dressing room but his Santa suit is not actually for an acting gig, he's just playing Santa at the Macy's of a local mall. 
7. Linda Ronstadt & The Mariachi Vargas then took to the stage to perform Los Laureles and La Cigarra back to back.
8. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Dana Carvey impersonated Dennis Miller so that they head news anchor can rebut with himself but the two end up agreeing.
9. We then went to a holiday themed ski lodge with Paul Simon as himself. The owner of the lodge reassures Simon that his stay will be low key and that he won't be bothered at all. Seconds after this reassurance a guest asks for an autograph and after he reluctantly agreed the owner goes on to introduce the Sweeney Sisters who do a medley of Paul Simon songs and drag him into their routine.
10. Subway Solicitor was a sketch where Phil Hartman plays a homeless vet on the subway who solicits help for his family during the holiday then goes on to guilt everyone in the car into giving him money before revealing he is actually an actor and this was his attempt to promote an upcoming play before asking for more money to support the arts. The people on the train are way more enthusiastic about donating to this cause. After collecting this batch of money, he goes on to announce that he's not an actor but is mentally insane and need more money for medicine which gets people to donate again but they are no longer excited. Finally, he gets to the end of collecting again only to announce that this is now a robbery.
11. Succinctly Speaking was a talk show sketch where Nora Dunn interviews Tonto, Tarzan, and Frankenstein on their views of everything from fire to bread where all of the answers are spoken in simple Tarzan or Tonto speak with Frankenstein is hung up on the fact that "Fire, bad," before he goes on to destroy the set.
12. Tonto, Tarzan, Frankenstein then took to the stage to sing Away in a Manger.
13. Paul Simon & Linda Ronstadt then teamed up to perform Under African Skies.
14. Truck Stop Reflections was a sketch that took place at a truck stop diner just as it closed for Christmas Eve night and we see the staff cleaning up while Dana Carvey waits as Jan Hooks Junior College teacher who she is now trying to date. The diner staff is a bunch of idiot yokels who tell the tale of what seems to be a truck stop Jesus while the professor isn't all that impressed.
15. We then got A Message From Jon Lovitz where he talks to the viewers of the future after realizing the oldest SNL episodes have been running for the last 13 years. This is more of a threat than a message because he claims to be working on a time travel device to kill anyone from whatever later date who laughs at their outdated style.
16. Finally, Paul Simon closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with more of Pumping Up With Hans And Franz as they continue on with their funny but repetitive Arnold thing with an editorial response to a recent racist statement by Jimmy The Greek about genetic and black athletes. They aren't really offended by the racial aspect but believe they are as strong as any man whether or not genetics are involved and of course their misguided rants ended with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
2. Robin Williams then officially opened the show with more of a stand-up routine about the current presidential campaign and other current events over being the traditional monolog that we get from non-comedian hosts.
3. This was followed by a repeat of the fake Compulsion cleaning product ad that makes fun of a Calvin Klein ad campaign at the time. 
4. We then met up with a pregnant couple having tea with a couple who just had a kid of their own. The conversation about what to expect starts out pretty tame until Robin Williams suggests filming the birth of their child. He then goes on to show the delivery video of his own kid where Victoria Jackson (his wife) is holding the camera with Robin the star of the show from the point where they got into the cab all the way until their kid was pulled from the womb. 
5. Learning To Feel was a talk show sketch where Nora Dunn talks to Victoria Jackson who has never felt pretty at all. All it takes is a second of Nora's TV Psychologist style babble to solve her problem. She then moves on to the next guest where both the problem and solution are just as simple where all that it takes is Nora's suggestion to "Take a look at yourself," to fix every single problem.
6. James Taylor then took to the stage to perform Never Die Young.
7. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Al Franken introduced his one man self-contained reporter with a satellite dish on his head so that he can broadcast from anywhere, who this week, interviewed a woman about the Gary Hart scandal only to have the satellite feed cut out whenever he turned his head. 
8. Robin's 60th Birthday is a sketch that takes place in a 60-year-old Robin Williams' studio apartment where he gets a visit from his adult son who plays off Robin's obnoxious side and the two Robin Williams it up.
9. James Taylor then returned to the stage to perform Sweet Potato Pie.
10. This was followed by a parody of The 8th Annual ACE Awards which makes fun of the low budget award show and the content nominated for these cable awards being that the medium was still very young and counted on old reruns, music videos and weather updates as the main source of viewing entertainment. This sketch goes on for way too long and was filled with outdated references even at the time which was actually part of the joke but makes the aging of the sketch even worse. I did like that it ended on C.H.U.D. getting the award for the best movie on cable that year.
11. James Taylor then returned to the stage yet again, this time he performed Lonesome Road.
12. Discover returned for another segment where the idiot host of this science show attempt to explore the afterlife by interviewing a trans-channeler but is completely unable to follow the logic and during the trans to show evidence he continues to get everything wrong while keeping up his robot like enthusiasm.
13. We then go to a nice restaurant where Robin Williams and Jan Hooks are having a farewell dinner as Jan landed a job on the opposite coast but is willing to give it up to keep the relationship alive but she requires those three magic words but no matter how much he tries, Robin Williams Just Can't Say "I Love You" without doing a funny voice. That is until he finally snaps and that becomes the only phrase that he can say but Jan Hooks is out of the room to call work to quit when we discover this is a new dysfunction and not actually coming from his heart.
14. Finally, Robin Williams closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with a sketch called BushWhacked! Where George Bush Sr. stormed around the stage parodying Morton Downey Jr. in an effort to prove that he is not a wimp like the media is claiming. He then goes on to host a Downey Jr. like talk show where he attacks his guests as if it were an interrogation, then uses anger over reason to share his plans for America. All of this is an effort to prove that he's tough but the second the guest stand to defend himself he immediately gets the Vice President, at the time, in a headlock and forces him to announce, "Live from New York..."
2. Carl Weathers then officially opened the show with a monolog about being able to live out his dreams through both sports and now acting and jokes about how he should have won in Rocky. Having sports and acting conquered he decides to give his final dream a shot and ask for the band's support while he sings a terrible rendition of What About A Rainbow in a very funny tone. 
3. We then got a repeat of the Handi-Off ad from a couple of episodes ago.
4. The NFL Today was a parody of the real show with the same name where Kevin Nealon as host apologizes for a statement made by Jimmy The Greek before introducing him as the co-host. The two go on to discuss this year's Super Bowl, which takes place during Black History Month when it was the Bronco's vs. the Redskins, where a white John Elway QBed went up against a black Doug Williams, which gave "Jimmy The Greek" plenty of material to slip up and make racist comments about while blaming the slip of the tongue.   
5. We then went to the Democratic Debate '88 where there was over a half-dozen candidates to choose from and every single one of them seemed to be a joke and even thirty years later, history has yet to clear their ineptness and inability to commit to a concise party platform at all.
6. We then went to a suburban house where Phil Hartman plays an old lady as she discusses guns over tea with her gay hair dresser as they wait for her daughter to arrive with her new boyfriend. Though she is fully accepting of this gay friend of hers, to set up that she has an open mind, the moment her daughter arrives with Carl Weathers things quickly escalate to the point where there's a shootout because he's black. After all of the bullets are shot and the smoke finally settles the mother agrees that she may have over reacted while Carl Weathers acts like this is nothing new as he accepts the racist mother's apology.  
7. Robbie Robertson then took to the stage to perform Testimony.
8. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Victoria Jackson did the performance of The Life Of A Table where she did a back bend while reciting a poem about a table which was interesting but had nothing even loosely connected to news. A. Whitney Brown also dropped in for another Big Picture segment about yet another conflict between the Arabs and Jews as he ponders why the area can't get along.
9. We then went to a crowded restaurant for a sketch called Actress And Pimp where Jan Hooks plays an upcoming actress who is trying to stay undercover and enjoy her dinner only to get recognized. After turning around a fan who caught on Carl Weathers enters the scene and confronts Jan as if he is her pimp and she's not returning his calls but it turns out he's just her agent and she just wants out of the industry because she is ashamed of the low budget films that she's made. 
10. Robbie Robertson then returned to the stage to perform Somewhere Down The Crazy River.
11. Master Thespian Meets Ching Change is as the title suggests a meeting between these two reoccurring characters only it turns out that Carl Weathers has been playing this offensive Dana Carvey character this entire time and that he's been able to pull it off thanks to "ACTING." 
12. The Garden was a black and white short film where a landlord is upset by her tenant who is supposed to be running a beauty salon which she does up front, the issue is that she also provides mortician services for pets in the back room and possibly buried them out in the garden? It's hard to tell because of the artistic style of the film where they intentionally keep things vague.
13. Finally, Carl Weathers closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with coverage of the Republican Debate '88, where following last week's Democratic Debate '88, we see that neither side really had anyone worth voting for as both sides were parodied to be a complete mess. It seems this election was extra chaotic because Reagan already served his two terms and couldn't run again, leading the idiots to come from out of the wood works, both right and left, thinking that they were the best man for the job, focusing on their wants over the people's need. Of course, all of the party bickering eventually led to the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
2. Justine Bateman then officially opened the show with a monolog about how happy she is to host on Valentines, then goes on to do a bit of a routine about how it's easy to shop for women on this special day but she always struggled to figure out what to buy for her man. This leads to a childhood story/example before sharing the true history of the holiday.
3. Justine Bateman then introduced a Family Ties sketch, explaining how she used to love shooting the flashback episode, describing how this meant only five minutes of work being that the rest of the episode was told with flashbacks that were already shot. We then went into the actual sketch that shows what this five minutes of work would look like. Since I was a fan of Family Ties as a kid, seeing the SNL cast play the Keaton family was enough to get a laugh but the overall concept of the of this flashback sketch was pretty funny as well.
4. Learning To Feel then returned for another installment where once again, Nora Dunn plays the host who takes questions from the audience and solves every problem by simply telling her guests to look at themselves which is enough to trigger an epiphany every single time that she says it.  
5. Terrance Trent D'Arby then took to the stage to perform Wishing Well.
6. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Al Franken returned as his one man mobile news gathering unit character where again, he starts out the bit by pointing out all of his equipment that ends up failing him during his report on the Republican Convention after he rambles on about the candidate's views on the weather just fine.
7. Derek Stevens In Love was a sketch where Dana Carvey's Choppin' Broccoli character is finally inspired to write new songs now that he's inspired by his new love. We then meet Justine Bateman and quickly learn that the feelings aren't actually mutual as she wants him out of her life. 
8. In And Out, Nobody Gets Hurt was a sketch that took place in 1929 where a group of criminals plan to rob a bank and being that this was a time where security was so simple, the plan is simply the title of the sketch In And Out, Nobody Gets Hurt but the group still has trouble understanding the concept.
9. Terrance Trent D'Arby then returned to the stage to perform Under My Thumb.
10. Laughing At Linda was a sketch where Justine Bateman was Jon Lovitz's date to a party and she is nervous that she won't fit in being that she is just an art student and everyone else is already established in their careers. It turns out her paranoia is justified because all of these people at the gathering are straight up jerks who spend more time talking about her behind her back while forcing a smile when face to face and that's pretty much all there is to this sketch, that left me feeling sorry for Linda/Justine and people in this situation, minus any laughs. 
11. This was followed by a parody of Friday Night Videos with special guests Justine Bateman and some journalist who must have been big at the time. The joke of the sketch is that this journalist has no idea to talk to women and Justine doesn't know how to talk to someone with such a serious job, leading to a very awkward interaction during what was supposed to be a fun bit of banter for a music video show.
12. Finally, Justine Bateman closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with coverage of the Calgary '88 Winter Olympics where Tom Hanks plays a figure skater who does a terrible Bonanza themed routine while dressed like a flamboyant Woody from Toy Story even though this is way before that time. Of course, he gets a horrible score for his terrible routine and when interviews to see what happened he announces, "Live from New York..."
2. Tom Hanks then officially opened the show with a monolog about how this being live television, he has total control of the show and no one can stop him from saying whatever he wants with this segment of the show. With it being an election year, he uses this time to joke about the candidates while pretty much saying that it's not all that important to vote being that this was yet another year of worthless candidates that landed Bush Sr. as our president.
3. Giant Businessman was a sketch where Phil Hartman plays a four story tall businessman who attempts to go about a normal life despite sticking out like a sore thumb. In this week's installment, which I hope is not the last, he tries to get the neighbor's band to keep it down only they hang up on him whenever he calls which leads him to call the police rather than use his size to intimidate the band into stopping as it turns out, he may be giant but he's also a bit of a coward.
4. The Bean Cafe was a sketch that took place in a cafe that only serves beans. This leads to a lot of set-ups to fart jokes that all end with a Shyamalan twist where they are not talking about farts at all.
5. The Pat Stevens Show then returned after a long absence only to give us more of the same of this sketch that I've never been a fan of because I'm unfamiliar with the reference material and don't find the character or her fake interviews to be all that funny because of this lack of knowledge. This installment was at least a little funny but only because Phil Hartman makes a hilarious Barbara Bush. 
6. Randy Travis then took to the stage to perform Forever & Ever, Amen.
7. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Kevin Nealon dropped in to talk about the Winter Olympics but as usually he ended up rambling off topic in a pretty funny way. Victoria Jackson also dropped in for another segment where she starts to do another poem, this one about a tea cup, but then takes off her blonde wig to reveal that she is actually a brunette and is not ditsy at all, only to end the bit by taking off the brunette wig as well and go back to her ditsy self. Keep in mind, when I say ditsy, I mean the persona that she is shooting for because, despite the fact that I don't agree with her on many of her political views, I know that she's actually smart. Jon Lovitz also got a Get To Know Me segment where he read letters from the audience with clues as to the author's identity with the reveal being the actual joke. 
8. Tom Hanks and Jon Lovitz then team up as their classic Girl-Watchers A Go-Go characters who are so confident in the fact that they are losers that they almost seem proud of the constant rejection they experience from every woman who walks by. 
9. Apple Support Systems was a sketch that makes fun of the early days of IT where Tom Hanks has to call in for support because he landed a job by claiming to be a computer expert when he actually never seen a computer at all.
10. This was followed by a fake ad for a new album called Casey Kasem Sings The Beatles, which is just that, "Casey Kasem" singing Beatles songs. 
11. We then went to Delivery Room where Dana Carvey is waiting outside the door and keeps misinterpreting the sounds that are coming through the door to be the sign that his baby has been born. This sketch was funny but quick as Tom Hanks even admits that they never came up with an end to the sketch as he tells Dana Carvey he better to just ignore the entire event and just move on to the next sketch of the night.
12. This was followed by another installment of Observational Stand-ups where Tom Hanks and Jon Lovitz pretty much do an impersonation of Jerry Seinfeld while carrying out a casual conversation only to be joined by more members of the cast doing the same impersonation while trying to keep up with the observational small talk. 
13. Randy Travis then returned to the stage to perform What'll You Do.
14. Sentimental Pawn Shop was a sketch about a pawn shop that pays the sentimental value of an item which often pays more than the actual cash values as long as the story is good.
15. Finally, Tom Hanks closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

The Wicker Breakdown:

1. This week's show started with another Pumping Up With Hans And Franz which I am still entertained by but it is pretty much the same thing every time they are on the screen only with the tiniest of twists. This week's twist is that it is Winter Olympic time so now all of the muscle talk is based on the winter games where they bring in Judge Reinhold who plays a downhill skier only to make fun of how puny he is and how he needs to pump up, and of course being the opening sketch it ends with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
2. Judge Reinhold then officially opened the show with a monolog about how nervous he is to host the show being that he's not really a person who lives in the fast lane and this is a high-stress show. He then went on to explain that he does like the power of being the host because it allows him to do whatever he wants as the stage hands set up cactuses and fence to create a western vibe to the room. G.E. Smith then entered the scene dressed as a rancher with guitar in hand and some old guy came out, also in country garb and two coconut halves to create the soft galloping sound as Judge Reinhold whistles a western themed end of the night tune.
3. Wilson Trap Doors was a fake ad for a top of the line trap door that starts out by showing the competitors flaws before finally showing how the Wilson brand's trap door work perfectly in every situation. 
4. Church Chat then returned for another installment and like Pumping Up this sketch is entertaining but it's pretty much the same every time the Church Lady takes to the stage, with the main joke being the build up to her saying... "SATAN."
5. Deregulated Airlines was a sketch that highlighted just how horrible the airlines have become following the deregulation of the industry to where traveling by air actually seems worse than traveling on some chicken filled bus in a Third World Nation but at least the prices are fare.
6. 10,000 Maniacs then took to the stage to perform Like The Weather.
7. Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Al Franken returned as to one man mobile news unit to continue with his coverage of the presidential campaign where this time he gets struck by lightning after explaining all of the technology that is attached to him and the personal struggles that come with lugging all this weight around in his efforts to cover such an important story. A. Whitney Brown also dropped in for another Big Picture segment where he breaks down the line-up of losers that were running for president back in '88.  
8. Jorge Garcia, Nice Guy Dictator is a sketch that, as the title implies follows Judge Reinhold as this nice guy dictator who runs what seems to be a Central or South American leader who rules with an iron fist but is also very fair even if his staff prefers him to be more of a traditional bad guy.
9. The Cop And The Prostitute had a sit-com feel where the title pretty much says it all with Judge Reinhold playing the cop and Victoria Jackson as the prostitute in their titular roles. 
10. When Great Minds Meet was a PBS parody where Jon Lovitz hosted a panel show with some of the greatest minds from throughout time but being that they are all from different times they have trouble sorting out all these new names while also struggling to grasp events from the time periods in which that were not involved.
11. 10,000 Maniacs then returned to the stage to perform What's The Matter Here.
12. Pirate Birds was a sketch that took place on a pirate ship during the days when pirates branching out and trying other birds in an attempt to break the parrot cliche.
13. Finally, Judge Reinhold closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

SNL: SEASON THIRTEEN SUMMARY