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She’s Got Moves Like Gretzky

Even though I’m not a huge fan of sports, I often find that I’m a fan of sports figures hosting the show. For one, it’s fun to see people who are experts in one area struggle to get through a scene without being able to hide the fact that they are having a really good time.

Their episodes aren’t really the best as far as the content goes but in a weird way, they are the most fun because the smiles plastered on their face while they read through their lines, in a style that's almost like a fan who won a contest that makes them feel more relatable than someone who can actually act.

Granted, I would hate these episodes if they were on every week but when spread out they’re the only bad episodes that I genuinely like which was the case tonight with Nancy Kerrigan behind the wheel as host. Not only was she a crush of mine from the time, but I also was a fan because of her relationship to the Winter Olympics.

You see, being a Leap Year Baby, I’ve always felt a connection with the Olympics since they also only comes around once every four years which both the Winter and the Summer Games used to land on Leap Year years until the year that this episode originally aired but I didn’t hold the change against the games. Unfortunately, the US elections also land on Leap Year years which is why I’m overly obsessed with that as well.

Oh well, other than this connection and lowered bar of expectations, this was actually a pretty bad show. That said, Nancy Kerrigan was still just as good as Wayne Gretzky and even had his same reading/acting skill, he was just lucky to get in one stand out sketch that made his episode more memorable. This was the main thing that tonight’s show lacked which would have made it, even more, fun of a rewatch after all this time.

As always, I blame the writers for this and not the host since she is a figure skater and not an actress after all. Now that I’m done defending this episode, it’s now time to move on and share what I saw as I give you…

The Wicker Breakdown:

This week's show started with a parody of an NBC News Special Report where Phil Hartman as Bill Clinton addressed the nation about the Whitewater Affair where he admitted to everything and then pushed all of the blame onto Hillary, who he said was now our former first lady. This threw the press corps into a tizzy with questions about Hillary while Bill attempted to move on to the next question, eventually leading to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Nancy Kerrigan then officially opened the show with a quick joke about her latest Disney Spokeswoman gig before taking on questions from the “audience” about the whole Tonya Harding ordeal, only it turns out more people are interested in the world of ice skating over the actual scandal.
This was followed by yet another repeat of the fake ad for Crystal Gravy from last season which pitched a clear gravy in a parody of the Crystal Clear Pepsi ad campaign.
Sports Beat was a sports talk show hosted by Mike McKean who made his midseason debut as a new featured cast member, who interviewed the Winter Olympic heroes from that year who other than Nancy Kerrigan had to go back to their crummy lives where they worked normal jobs and no one noticed them at all, hell they weren’t even noticed during the Winter Events.
We then went down to the St. Patrick's Day Parade where Nancy Kerrigan played the Grand Marshall to wave at the locals of a tiny town that is falling to crap ever since the industry that kept them afloat went away while the Mayor of the town continued to share their horror stories while both put on a happy face and local rushed the car while being wasted in public to celebrate the drinking holiday.
The Denise Show then returned for another installment where, as always, Adam Sander continues to obsess over his ex. This time he’s back to obsessing over Shannen Doherty which was addressed in the first phone call but was pretty much glossed over. He then went on to obsess over Denise in various creepy ways until we learned that he used to have a show in the seventies where he was obsessed with Nancy Kerrigan who eventually joined him in singing their special song.
Aretha Franklin then took to the stage to perform A Deeper Love.
Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Phil Hartman dropped by as Frank Sinatra to finish an acceptance speech for some reward that cut him off due to time only he barely said anything at all. Adam Sandler also dropped in as Bono to sing a song about other things to do on Saint Patrick’s Day other than drink your ass off.
Don Mateo was a sketch that took place in tropical Latin where Norm MacDonald and Mike Myers were on vacation having lunch with a local named Don Mateo who was obsessed with Nancy Kerrigan who played the waitress. Though Don Mateo kept claiming that she had a fiery personality whenever she spoke she was extremely average, if not boring which confused the hell out of Don Mateo’s guests.
We then went to Lillehammer '94 for some parody coverage of the Winter Olympics where Tim Meadows played Greg Gumbel whose make-up made him look like a Garbage Pail Kid. We then to cut to coverage of figure skating where Chris Farley and Nancy Kerrigan play a couple who performed a routine where Nancy did all of the work while Farley simply skated around flailing his arms as if he were actually doing something.
Aretha Franklin then returned to the stage to perform Willing To Forgive.
We then got a that set up Nancy At Disneyland for her first day on the job as their spokesperson to promote the re-release of Snow White
Black Rhythm And Blues Singers Today was a talk show hosted by Ellen Cleghorne who interviewed Aretha Franklin as herself about how she recently quit smoking which led her to put on weight only Cleghorne was so noisy chiming in with encouragements to where it was difficult to hear what Aretha was actually saying.
This was followed by a second installment of the Nancy At Disneyland campaign where this time she was promoting Tinkerbell while riding the spinning teacups.
Aretha Franklin then returned to the stage to perform Chain of Fools.
Once again we went Nancy At Disneyland for part three of the ad campaign where finally she was teamed up with Abe Lincoln from the Hall Of Presidents.
Finally, Nancy Kerrigan closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

As I kept saying above, though I wouldn’t say this was a good episode, I would definitely say that it was fun with the help from sketches like these three of my favorite of the night. First, I loved the opening sketch where Bill Blamed Hillary For The Whitewater Scandal because it makes me laugh how people wonder why she was so hated in 2016 when these jokes about her cutthroat ways go way back beyond 1994 and this is another piece of evidence. Next, I really liked the Sports Beat sketch because it was a funny display about how some of the Olympic heroes go on to become big stars while the rest go back to their crappy lives working minimum wage paying jobs but that’s the price of chasing your dreams. Finally, I was a fan of the Lillehammer '94 sketch because it was fun to see Chris Farley out there skating around which was still impressive even though the joke was about him being so bad.