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A Night Of Exact Expectations

I’m beginning to think that I never got into comic books because I never had limitations as to what I was allowed to watch on TV and was allowed to what whatever movies I wanted. This meant that I didn’t have to turn to illustration to fulfill my need for action, violence, and scantily clad women that my comic book friends continue to carry on about to this day.

Sure I liked some of the late ‘80s/early ’90s superhero movies but that was more because I was obsessed with movies in general. Between my lack of interest in superheroes and my hatred of hour-long TV drama, I never took an interest in the show Lois And Clark so I have no real connection with Teri Hatcher from this time or ever, if I’m being honest.

I do remember Teri Hatcher having a pretty good reputation for her sense of humor but then again, this always came from some ugly guy who would have been easily entertained by any woman with good looks. That said, I do remember her being funny from the limited things that I saw her in, like cameos, TV ads, and random interviews. This led me to expect a night that was just pretty good without any real hopes that it would be great.

This turned out to be one of the few night where I was spot on with my expectations. For one, she was funny enough to where I didn’t even roll my eyes in the few scenes where she acted like a good looking prop for the male cast to flirt with, which is the curse of the good-looking host, both male and female. She was actually funny in these sketches as well instead of just standing there with the being, how such a good looking woman could ever even be in the same room with such a freak of a man.

In fact, there was only one sketch that I would say fell into that hot host as a prop genre where Teri was on a date with Chris Kattan where he danced like a weirdo as almost a mating call and she showed him how it was done with a sexy dance of her own, but even that felt like it was more about the weird dances and not just an excuse to fit in some physical time with the host while they just smile and laugh.

It’s when I sense lechery that I get disturbed and don’t find any humor which I don’t really think was ever the case with tonight, unless you count Teri’s interaction with David Spade during Spade In America where the two dressed as one another to make fun of each other in their reversed roles like how children flirt on the playground, but that’s just kind of how I see Spade as a person.

Oh well, that’s all that I’ve got as far as insights go so with that, it’s time to shift gears in order to share what I actually saw during my viewing, as I give you…

The Wicker Breakdown:

This week's show started with Will Ferrell as Ted Kaczynski for a sketch called Unabomber Defense Team where Kaczynski got introduced to his defense team for the first time which turned out to be a Dream Team of high profile attorneys that were involved with cases that made big headlines in the tabloids. This being the opening sketch, it eventually built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Teri Hatcher then officially opened the show with a monolog about being happy to host while promoting her new role on Lois And Clark where she was the new Lois Lane. She went on to brag about how her version of Lois actually knows that Clark is Superman and how the whole glasses as a disguise thing is pretty lame. Right after making this point several members of the cast then joined her on stage and she couldn’t recognize a single one of them as long as they had on glasses and had no idea who Tim Meadows was either way.
We then got another repeat of the Old Glory Insurance ad that’s already aired a couple of times this year which was an ad for an insurance company that claimed to protect old people from robots.
Mary Katherine Gallagher returned to do her quirky Catholic school girl while auditioning against Teri Hatcher to play Maria in school play version of West Side Story.
Mood Music was a sketch where Chris Kattan struggles to find the right seductive music to get Teri Hatcher in the mood because he can’t settle on one that fits with the seductive dance that he tries to pull off to go along with the music. At one point he literally humps the couch halfway across the room from being so into this mating routine of his. Meanwhile, Teri just watches on confused as hell by this process until she got up and showed him how it’s done.
The Princess And The Homeboy was a parody sit-com featuring Teri Hatcher and The Princess and Tim Meadows G-Dog character as The Homeboy where these polar opposites need to learn to live together while living up to a cliché sit-com formula. I believe this may be the birth of the, “Now go make me a sandwich,” joke that I thought originated from Tracy Morgan.
The Spartan Cheerleaders then returned to do their thing at a Math Club competition only this time the delusional cheerleading duo is almost split up when Will Ferrell is offered a position on the real cheerleading team.
Once again, Norm MacDonald gave us the news. This week, Mark McKinney dropped in as Golfer, Greg “The Shark” Norman to try to figure out a more appropriate nickname since his golf game had dropped off and he was no longer as aggressive of a competitor as he used to be.
Dave Matthews Band then took to the stage to perform Too Much.
Spade In America then had another installment where Teri Hatcher played David Spade to interview David Spade as herself in order for the two to insult one another over the careers that they’ve made for themselves.
Colin Quinn’s Joe Blow character then broke from Weekend Update to get his own segment called The Local News where, as always, the news is so local that all Joe Blow does is talk about himself. His guests are his family and friends and at one point Norm even dropped by to finally join Joe for the drink he’s been promising him since the character was invented.
Fuzzy Memories then returned for another installment where Jack Handey reminisced about a worm-eating bet that he made when he was a kid.
Nancy Walls’ aggressively competitive churchgoing character from the Bake Sale sketch from weeks ago returned for the St. Gabriel's Rummage Sale where she had a run in with Teri Hatcher who played the same type of person only visiting from a different church which led to a bit of a territorial battle after Teri wouldn’t back down like the rest local ladies
Dave Matthews Band then returned to the stage to perform So Much To Say.
This was followed by a repeat of the Petchow Rat Poison commercial from earlier this year which was a rat poison that looked like dog food in order to trick the rats.
Finally, Teri Hatcher closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

I feel really lucky to have so many good shows in a row while dealing with my latest bout with a cold because it makes it so much easier to get through a show with moments like these three favorite of mine that I’m about to share. First, I loved The Princess And The Homeboy not only because it was a funny premise filled with bleeped out curse words (which always cracks me up) but because I was always under the impression that Tracy Morgan coined, “Now go make me a sandwich,” which may have actually been originated here with Tim Meadows G-Dog character. Next, I really liked the Mood Music scene, not only because Chris Kattan’s dance made me laugh, but I liked how he giggled after Teri Hatcher performed a sexy dance routine of her own. Finally, I was a fan of Mary Katherine Gallagher Auditions For West Side Story because this character cracks me up and I like West Side Story references since I was a huge fan of the Punk Side Story.