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Not Sober Enough For Stallone

As someone who’s never been a huge fan of action films, I also never really cared all that much for Sylvester Stallone and his brand of acting. I wouldn’t say that I hate his work, he just never really resonated with me thanks to the genre he’s known for. The timing couldn’t be more unfortunate because this was by no means a bad episode but my hungover head found it hard to focus since I wasn’t all that into the host.

It didn’t help that this was the latest that I’ve viewed an episode to then have to review on the same day. I spent most of the show just wanting it to be over and it had absolutely nothing to do with the show’s quality which is the first time this happened to me since I started this challenge a little over a year ago.

I don’t know if I would have had the same lack of focus if I had a stronger connection with the host but considering the fact I keep pointing out how this was a perfectly fine episode, I probably would have struggled to get through today’s viewing no matter who was in charge of the wheel. Thankfully, I’m already feeling much better since I started to write this review, so I shouldn’t suffer from the same issue when I check in with tomorrow’s review.

Sorry for the slip in the quality of my content but it can be hard to hit every single review out of the park, especially when you do this every single day. With that, I’m going to cut this one short and move on to share what I saw, as I give you…

The Wicker Breakdown:

This week's show started with a parody of Oprah where, Norm MacDonald, as Marv Albert discussed his bizarre sexual fetishes with Tim Meadows as Oprah, following a recent sex scandal that was making the rounds at the time. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Sylvester Stallone then officially opened the show with a monolog that turned into more of a sketch after the Rocky star started out with the usual routine about how he was happy to host and then Jim Breuer joined him on stage as Mickey, who was Rocky’s coach in the early movies and attempted to encourage our host to do the best monolog that he could.
This was followed by a fake ad for Xerox Assjet 790 which was a copy machine specifically designed for photocopying asses.
Rita's New Car was a sketch where Cheri Oteri’s “I keep it now” character was thrilled by the fact that her husband, played by Stallone, bought her a brand new Cadillac, only to end up super annoyed when she found out that her neighbor, played by Molly Shannon got to ride in it first.
Car Accident was a sketch where Sylvester Stallone witnessed Norm MacDonald get into a horrible car accident and attempted to comfort him as he lied dying but couldn’t get past the fact that Norm just wouldn’t stop criticizing the star’s less popular movies.
The Roxbury Guys then returned for more of the same head bobbing routine, this time with Stallone as the third head-bobber while revising his Rocky character.
Reno's Investigation was a sketch where once again, Will Ferrell played Janet Reno following yet another Clinton campaign finance scandal
TV Funhouse then returned with another installment of Fun With Real Audio where this week they animated Humphrey Bogart having a flatulence problem during the filming of Casablanca.
Once again, Norm MacDonald gave us the news. This week, Ana Gasteyer dropped by as a character named Cinder Calhoun to sing a song called Sausage Of Pain, after a long-winded introduction of her feminist/vegan character traits. Norm MacDonald also interrogated special guest, Richard Jewell about his involvement in the recent Olympic Park bombing.
Jamiroquai then took to the stage to perform Alright.
Orange Julius was a sketch where Sylvester Stallone played a demented computer salesman who longed for the days when the building he worked in used to be an Orage Julius restaurant.
The Lost Deep Thoughts then made its show debut with Jack Handey sharing a tale of a mosquito that attempted to suck all of the blood out of a mummy.
Planet Hollywood was a sketch where Jim Breuer and Tracy Morgan played two huge but annoying fans who wouldn’t stop pestering Stallone during the grand opening of the latest Planet Hollywood restaurant.
Lou's Lovely Daughters was a sketch where Sylvester Stallone played an old dad who attempted to find husbands for his unattractive daughters by hosting a public access show.
More Songs I Rewrote To Honor Dead People was a parody ad for an album where “Elton John” released more Candle In The Wind-style songs to capitalize on the deaths of celebrities.
Finally, Sylvester Stallone closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

Though this review might be my worst, the same doesn’t go for this episode because even though I ended up uninspired to write, thanks to non-show related circumstances, it was a fun show to watch thanks to the help of these three of my favorite moments of the night. First, I loved the Car Accident sketch because it had me laughing out loud when a dying Norm MacDonald kept referencing Stallone’s most terrible movies. Next, I really liked the Planet Hollywood sketch because I really like seeing Jim Breuer and Tracy Morgan in sketches together since I originally discovered the two back when they were on the show Uptown Comedy Club. Finally, I was a fan of the Xerox Assjet 790 since I used to work in the photocopy industry so this was a little extra fun to me.