SNL: S09E01... HOST: BRANDON TARTIKOFF... DATE: OCTOBER 8, 1983
/The Wicker Breakdown:
This week's episode starts with members of the cast breaking into Brandon Tartikoff Watergate-style in an attempt to find evidence he used his power as the president of NBC to land this hosting role. Eddie uses the phone to prank Mr. T which is weird because they treat it like he would have caller ID as proof to where the phone call is coming from. They then find his schedule where one of the entries tricks Eddie into saying, "Live from New York..."
Brandon Tartikoff then officially opened the show with a red carpet entrance and a monolog about his plans to continue to create high-quality programming for the network, only to have the subtitles make fun of his every word by listing all of his failed ideas.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus then played a Calvin Klein model who rambles on vapidly about her narcissistic issues until she gets hit in the face with a pie and we learned this was a fake ad for Calvin Klein Cream Pies For Girls You Hate.
We then went to James Watt's office. Watt’s was apparently a politician from the time that recently made a racist flub. In the sketch, his underlings do everything to try and cheer him up while he continued to dig a bigger hole with awkward replies to his staff.
In Jazz Riffs, Sweetchuck plays a Beatnik host who interviews Eddie as a jazz musician in a mask who is disguised because he's embarrassed by the fact that he has to prostitute himself by doing weddings for pay and shares some funny stories about several of his nightmare gigs.
Flen's Discount Food And Clothing Warehouse was a Crazy Eddie's: Everything Must Go style commercial for a store that sells clothing and food.
We then went back to Brandon Tartikoff's office where he's dressed in leather like Eddie Murphy who is also in the sketch to get pitched Tartikoff's horrible programming ideas. Eddie turns him down right away, but the Whiners enter as soon as he leaves and demand that they get a show using their Nielsen Family status as leverage to get their foot in the door.
Next was a Gumby and Pokey rehearsal for their upcoming reunion where Pokey is late because he's a drunk and Gumby is super pissed off. Pokey eventually arrives sounding like the stereotype of a hypochondriac Jew and the two fight the entire time.
Tartikoff then took to the street to ask New Yorkers about the current NBC line-up only to get a pretty harsh response of unrecognition and disinterest about every single show.
Larry's Corner was a talk show sketch where "Larry" interviewed a few average and uninteresting friends from his youth who all have childish stunts. At first, I was only half entertained by this concept, but then one of the friends (Gary Kroeger) started to fart with his armpits. This led to milk to stream out of one of the other friend's nose and the third friend (Sweetchuck) who was introduced as the kid who would drink anything drinks the mild as it streams out of this guys nose while everyone is laughing hysterically in a way that you can't help but laugh along.
Once again, Brad Hall gave us the news. This week, Piscopo drops by with sports, and Sweetchuck gets another segment where he bashes the New York Post.
Jon Cougar then took to the stage to perform Pink Houses.
Sweetchuck then enters a gun store dressed like a meth head looking punk and asks if he can rent a gun. Piscopo plays the owner who attempts to do a bit of a background check but quickly gives in to every excuse that Sweetchuck gives to why he can't comply while obviously being up to no good.
We then went to the audience to find Siskel and Ebert who once again gave us an insightful review of the show while it's still in progress.
Jon Cougar then returned to the stage to perform Crumblin' Down.
NBC: Be There is a fake ad for the network the slams the upcoming season of shows.
Ethel's Diner Tragedies is a sketch where Mary Gross plays a waitress on a day where she learns that every aspect of her life takes a turn for the worst. Customer after customer enters the diner with escalating bad news. She accepts every bit of information with a smile right up to the very end even though I was expecting/hoping for some type of exciting twist.
Finally, Brandon Tartikoff closes the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.