Dateline 5-14-2017

I hate being a weirdo magnet. That's not to say that I have a run in with a weirdo every time I leave the house but every time there is a weirdo in my proximity they seem to lock onto me and it almost seems like there is an outside force that makes them have to interact only to expose how much of a weirdo I am.

Take yesterday for example. I walked up to the liquor store to invest in some adult beverage to help aid my attempt to waste away the day and take a break from being productive. I'm a big guy with a real high tolerance so when I do drink, I buy a lot of booze. So, I grabbed a bottle of why a bottle of champagne and a 40oz of Mickey's.

As I walked to the counter and set everything down the cashier was at the second register talking to a weirdo who entered the store just before me. I don't know what he was asking for but he didn't end up buying anything, in fact, he never even shopped as he went straight to the cashier the moment he entered the store.

Meanwhile, I, being the true weirdo, just wanted to get in and out without being bothered so I never even took my headphones off of both ears. They finished up their conversation and he saw what was buying and said, "I want to go to where this guy is partying," which got the appropriate laugh as I hoped he would just move on.

Nope.

If it were to have just stopped there, I would have thought nothing of it but of course, he had to go on and ask where I was headed, which triggered the weirdo in me. Whether or not he was joking, I just didn't want to admit that this was all for me and that I'd also be drinking alone. So again, I just chuckled and nodded, acknowledging that it was a joke as I turned my attention to the cashier.

He then asks again, "Where are you going dude?" In a tone that I was now worried that I might get mugged for my drinks. All I could come up with was "Sorry," as I continued to try and complete my purchase and again he just wouldn't let it go and starts to explain that he was joking rather than just give up and go away. This just heightened the weirdo level in both of us as I still had nothing to say and he kept rambling on.

He eventually offered up a fist bump before finally going on his way. I'm sure he left there feeling the experience was just as weird if not weirder because I can totally see how he was just trying to be friendly and funny but unfortunately he was dealing with an introverted shut-in who's apparently lost the ability to interact with strangers.

Again, I'm aware that I was also the weirdo in this situation, probably even the bigger one but he's the one that opted to interact when I felt I was giving the signs that I just wanted to be left alone. I mean, I still had one headphone over my ear listening to a podcast about the Elvis conspiracy after all.

Oh well, that's what happened yesterday, tune in tomorrow to see what I get myself up to today.

Talk to you then,

The Wicker Breaker