Dateline 8-31-2017

As weird as the world continues to grow, I can't help but think about the fact that this planet has always felt foreign to me even in the goodest of good ol' days when the rest of Earth's citizens didn't seem to also fear that the sky is falling. At least in those days that were considered good and ol' the rest of the world's calm was a bit comforting in that I felt that I was just insane and that the majority of the rest of the world actually had it all figured out.

It felt like I would continually see history repeating itself in what I felt was a negative way. Whenever I would point these instances of historical deja vu, I was told not to worry because this time it's actually different and we're to advance to fall into these same traps now. This just caused me to shut up and continue to watch the shit show as it went down.

It's not that I ever felt I had the answers to anything, so pointing out these concerns was more about validating my fears and all that I ever got was push back yet I kept seeing these problems grow. Living on this planet feels like living in a family with an abusive dad that everyone treats like a saint in between the beatings.

I wouldn't know this first hand because my actual dad was never treated like a saint nor was he ever abusive, so maybe this planet is more like my actual youth, where my stepfather was a complete piece of garbage to the entire family and EVERYONE saw it as a problem yet EVERYONE continued to ignore it making me feel out of my mind whenever I would complain and any step towards a solution would fail before implementation.

This is what sent me on my self-destructive path where right or wrong, I never felt like I mattered as I was just a visiting alien who has failed to find his place leading to a repeating flawed history of my own which is why I now live in a garage for the fifth time in my life.

Oh well, it is what it is and here I go with another day.

Talk to you tomorrow with another update.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker