SNL: S28E10... HOST: RAY LIOTTA... DATE: JANUARY 18, 2003

SNL: S28E10... HOST: RAY LIOTTA... DATE: JANUARY 18, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a CNN News Alert where Darrell Hammond as Donald Rumsfeld sang These Boots Are Made For Walking after carrying on the lie that there were weapons of mass destruction and getting excited when he was asked if this could potentially lead to war. With this being the opening sketch, the song eventually ended with the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Ray Liotta then officially opened the show with a monolog about how excited he was to host and how much fun he had hanging out with the cast throughout the week in a very manic tone as if he were the life of the party. He said, in particular, he loved Jimmy Fallon who then joined our host on the stage only to act scared as if Liotta was too wild to get too close to as if he’s the time that would force you into “having fun” when actually you’re terrified. This led Liotta to sing the song, Getting To Know You for the audience, Jimmy Fallon, and the rest of the cast.

  3. This was followed by a parody of Live With Regis And Kelly where Ray Liotta portrayed David Caruso as the show guest who struggled to focus on Darrell Hammond as Regis’s questions about how he handled working with difficult co-stars after a recent firing that Regis kept suggesting was Caruso’s fault, hinting that he wished he could do the same with Kelly Ripa. Meanwhile, Amy Poehler as Kelly Ripa gave birth while live on the air to wrap up the segment.

  4. We then got introduced to The Fun Friends Club which was a Barney-like kid’s TV show with actual child actors along with Ray Liotta as the dinosaur and Rachel Dratch as one of the kids who recently started puberty and her new big boobs became a liability to the show with Liotta acting as a total creep whenever the dinosaur mask would come off.

  5. The Falconer then returned for another installment where this time the bird celebrated its birthday while seeking help for The Falconer who was stuck under a log. As usual, the falcon eventually returned with a saw so that The Falconer could saw his leg off to escape rather than simply cut the log.

  6. Global Century Investments had Chris Parnell as an investment expert who offered straight talk about investment queries, mainly by telling everyone to chill, since he used insider trading and he himself felt safe either way.

  7. This was followed by a parody of Hannibal where Ray Liotta played his character from the film in order to make fun of the scene where Darrell Hammond as Hannibal Lecter forced Liotta to eat his own brain. Though Hannibal used this self-cannibalism as a technic to strike fear into his play toys, Liotta liked the meal so much that he suggested teaming up and marketing brains to eat as the next popular dish when hosting parties. We then broke from the movie parody to show the success of the trendy new Lecter Restaurant where all of the patrons ate straight from their own head with celebrity brains acting as gourmet hors d’oeuvre treats.

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Will Forte’s Tim Calhoun/dry politician character announced that he was running for president in 2004. Tracy Morgan also stopped by to share his views on affirmative action by saying how he wanted more on SNL since he is barely on the show anymore, blaming affirmative action even though Tina and Jimmy hinted that he didn’t write any sketches for himself that week and it’s not that he was ignored.

  9. The Donnas then took to the stage to perform Take It Off. 

  10. The Hangman had Ray Liotta as the titular Hangman who went to the prison cell to grab Will Forte as the next person to be hung for stealing a neighbor's cattle. After some wheeling and dealing Liotta let Forte go for the crime in trade for some sex with his grandma, as played by Rachel Dratch, with the joke being that at first when the deal was thrown out Forte thought he was the one who would have to put out, and then assumed he meant his wife only to end up shocked when he learned of the grandma aspect. The same process happened when Amy Poehler, the wife, learned of the deal and was offended when she wasn’t the woman in the deal. The sketch finally ended with us learning the Liotta finished the second the grandma unzipped his pants.

  11. Top O' The Morning To You then returned for another installment of Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers as two, pub drinking, Irish talk show host who first complained about the movie Gangs Of New York and how the movie dealt with the Irish. After that, they praised the film for acknowledging the Irish which then led to an unrelated interview with Ray Liotta as a guy addicted to the popular barroom gold video game so much that he developed one massive arm from the way the game is played and then wanted to join the two hosts for a chorus of a drunken Irish song after he lost his game.

  12. The Donnas then returned to the stage to perform Who Invited You. 

  13. The Rialto Grande had Ray Liotta and Chris Kattan as Buddy Mills and Little Tommy Wallace who yuk it up in Las Vegas while putting on a lounge show with Fred Armisen as a geriatric drummer who couldn’t hear all that well and was extremely delayed with his rim shots.

  14. Finally, Ray Liotta closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E09... HOST: JEFF GORDON... DATE: JANUARY 11, 2003

SNL: S28E09... HOST: JEFF GORDON... DATE: JANUARY 11, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From Kim Jong Il where Horatio Sanz as Kim Jong Il warned America to leave him alone by sharing the darkness that’s in his head that makes him unafraid to fight back against the military giant after George W. Bush linked North Korea in with the Axis Of Evil. Of course, with this being the opening sketch this eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Jeff Gordon then officially opened the show with a monolog about a day in the life of a NASCAR driver only to be interrupted by Chris Parnell and Rachel Dratch as two wanna-be NASCAR fans who were being extra white trash and rowdy in an effort to win over our host. Though the effort was there, Jeff Gordon caught on right away that they were not true fans because they were playing off of too many redneck clichés claiming true fans are actually that rowdy at all. He turned out to be correct as it was then revealed that Parnell and Dratch were actually an upper crust couple who got their hands on SNL tickets and felt it would be more fun to pretend that they were familiar with the host’s work which was why they put on this trashy performance during the show’s intro.

  3. We then got a parody ad for a reality show from the time called Average Joe which was a dating show where wealth people would act average in order to meet a mate while hiding their wealth from all of their female admirers. Seth Meyers played a gay character named Joe Hetero who tried to hide his homosexual tendencies from his female admirers.

  4. We then got another installment of Brian Fellow's Safari Planet where this time Tracy Morgan as Fellows was too hung up on thinking that snakes actually had arms hidden behind their backs to be able to focus on his guests during their interviews.

  5. This was followed by a parody of Access Hollywood for parody coverage of Maya Rudolph as Diani Ross from an incident when she was caught driving under the influence. In the world of the sketch Diani Ross was such a drunken diva that she could not grasp the severity of her crime and kept acting like the field sobriety test was a performance.

  6. Joe Caucasian was a follow up to Joe Hetero where this time Tracy Morgan was the Joe in question who was hiding the fact that he was actually black from all of his female admirers.

  7. We then went to a Career Day where Seth Meyers played a carpet salesman who struggled to compete with Jeff Gordon, who played a fighter pilot when trying to win over the kids.

  8. This was followed by a parody of a show called Star Dates that match regular people up with celebrities for a date. For this fake episode, we followed Rachel Dratch who was paired up with Jeff Richards as an extra rowdy Gary Busey who rambled on throughout the entire date in that signature Gary Busey way. At one point Busey threatened Jeff Gordon who was playing a waiter who was taking orders for the date, only to get his ass kicked with ease by our host/food server.

  9. We then got a third installment of the Average Joe series of parodies that’s been playing out throughout the night. This time we met Joe Not-A-Rapist as played by Chris Parnell who was hiding his dark sexual craving from all of his female admirers.

  10. Avril Lavigne then took to the stage to perform I'm With You. 

  11. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Chris Kattan and Amy Poehler played two founding members of the Raelian cult who claimed to have been the first to successfully clone a human baby. They then introduced up to Rachel Dratch as the baby Eve who drooled uncontrollably and had an arm growing out of the side of her head. Jimmy Fallon praised himself for being nominated for a Grammy Award and Chris Kattan as Gay Hitler finished things up by claiming that he has now gone Hollywood to Tina and Jimmy.

  12. Gary's Fish Tanks had Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz as two slacker fish tank repairmen who kept cracking up even though their repair techniques kept killing the otherwise healthy fish in the tanks they were there to repair.

  13. This was followed by a parody of Charlie Rose where Jeff Richards as Rose kept confusing Darrell Hammond as Donald Rumsfeld for Dick Cheney and other villainous figures both fictional and real based on his aggressive attitude.

  14. We then got the fourth installment of the Joe segment that’s been running throughout the night where this time Tina Fey portrayed Joe Dude who was hiding her gender from all of her female admirers.

  15. Avril Lavigne then returned to the stage to perform Complicated. 

  16. The Terrye Funck Show was a parody of a public access show with Chris Parnell as the host and Jeff Gordon as his cousin/cameraman who shot their show from Parnell’s mother’s basement.

  17. We then got a fake ad for a Stripper Pole that claimed an in-house stripper pole can liven up any dull party, complete with before and after examples.

  18. Finally, Jeff Gordon closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E08... HOST: AL GORE... DATE: DECEMBER 14, 2002

SNL: S28E08... HOST: AL GORE... DATE: DECEMBER 14, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Al Gore and his wife Making Out Backstage where Lorne Michaels and the current collection of Not Ready For Prime Time Players couldn’t break up the loving couple from their lip lock as a response to a robotic kiss between the two that was the butt of many late night jokes around this time. The sketch ended with Tracy Morgan tasing the Ex-Vice President which freed up his wife to announce, “Live from New York…”

  2. Al Gore then officially opened the show with a monolog where he joked about some of his flaws that came out while he was campaigning and then reflected back to 2000’s election and how he came up with his running mate. This then led to a The Bachelor-style reenactment showing how it all played out with jokes about the other potential running mates giving Bachelor-like interviews  Gore and Chris Parnell as Joe Lieberman together in a hot tub.

  3. This was followed by a parody of Hardball where as always, Darrell Hammond as Chris Matthews berated his guest during an interview about current events. This time Al Gore portrayed Trent Lott in order to make more racist statements to follow a controversial positive stance on segregation that he had and was recently making the news. Tracy Morgan was also there as Al Sharpton to chime in from time to time to berate Trent Lott as well.

  4. The crazy Spanish political talk show Fiesta Politica then returned where this time Al Gore was the guest and bored the hell out of Maya Rudolph as the host with his talk about the environment while she was obviously just waiting for who the right sign to interrupt with some sort of Telemundo style chaos which made it extremely hard for Gore to make his boring point..

  5. We then went behind-the-scenes to the set of The West Wing where Al Gore could not be torn from the Oval Office TV set during a personal tour of the studio from the show’s President Martin Sheen along with the rest of the real members of the cast.

  6. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then brought us another installment of their dorm room based webcast called Jarret's Room where this time the two interviewed Gore as a professor who warned Horatio’s Goby character of the dangers of slacking off throughout school. This warning was then contradicted by a special visit by tonight’s musical guest Phish who proved that you could be a successful stoner.

  7. Phish then took to the stage to perform 46 Days. 

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph introduced two Hooker characters named Coast Guard Carrie and Vidalis in order to discuss their trade following the success of a documentary about the Nevada brothel The Moonlight Bunny Ranch.

  9. We then got a special installment of Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley where Al Franken revised his Stuart Smalley character in order to help a denial-ridden Gore to open up and accept his electoral loss with the help of Tipper, as if it were an intervention.

  10. This was followed by a parody of Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory where Al Gore played Wonka’s accountant who was relieved to see that the wasteful Wonka, as played by Jeff Richard, was handing over the business to Charlie, thinking even a kid would be better with his money than Willy was.

  11. TV Funhouse then gave us a parody of Charlie Brown where he and his gang used their hand waving cartoon powers to make over the town and improve the lives of everyone around like how they simply waved their hands around Charlie’s pathetic Christmas tree in order to turn it into an amazing tree to be displayed with pride.

  12. Phish then returned to the stage to perform Chalkdust Torture. 

  13. Last Call was another singing sketch between Tracy Morgan and Maya Rudolph that I love. This time the two played a couple of drunks who attempted to make their last call request through a song.

  14. Season’s Greetings From "Saturday Night Live" brought back Horatio Sanz and the I Wish It Were Christmas Today band who once again sang the same old ditty only this time while dressed up as popular toys.

  15. Finally, Al Gore closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E07... HOST: ROBERT DE NIRO... DATE: DECEMBER 7, 2002

SNL: S28E07... HOST: ROBERT DE NIRO... DATE: DECEMBER 7, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with C-SPAN coverage of a Homeland Security Briefing where this time Darrell Hammond as Tom Ridge introduced Robert De Niro as Craig Fenson who announced that they were boosting the terrorist threat level to magenta due to the lewdly-named terrorist suspects like, M’Balz Es-Hari (My Balls Is Harry) and Hous Bin Pharteen (Whose Been Farting) and more obvious fake names given by teens who kept pranking the information hotline. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, this all built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Robert De Niro then officially opened the show with a monolog where he compared his experience doing drama vs doing comedy since this was around the time that he started to take on more comedic roles. Though De Niro might be a great actor, when it comes to him being himself, the man is a bit of a bore because though I was listening carefully to expand on this segment’s description, I just didn’t find a joke.

  3. This was followed by a fake ad for the McDonald's Big N' Tasty Burger that provided a pharmaceutical ad style warning for the clueless fatties who may think this is actually a healthy meal. Apparently, this was inspired by a class action suit against the fast food chain at the time by people who were blaming them for being overweight.

  4. Thomas Jefferson Meets Sally Hemings had De Niro as the historical President in order to confirm the rumors that he was a fan of women slave by showing a meet-cute moment with Maya Rudolph who played one of his female slaves, while also including a few jokes about rumors of De Niro’s own interest in African American mates.

  5. We then went to a Peter Pan Rehearsal with Robert De Niro in the titular role as a veteran actor playing the part which led to a lot of conflict with the cast when he kept acting like an angry old timer who’s seen and done it all and not the never aging little kid like he was supposed to.

  6. Robert De Niro then played an actor who was stuck playing a mall Santa Claus due to struggling times and couldn’t stop arguing with Maya Rudolph who played elf and was also his soon-to-be wife who kept rolling her eyes and talking back whenever his statements to the kids contradicted the actions she experienced during their relationship.

  7. U.N. Weapons Inspectors then made light of the lie that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction by having Robert De Niro and Jimmy Fallon play two ineffective inspectors because they were so gullible and believed every lie that was said to them while being given their tour.

  8. Tracy Morgan then introduced a character named Judge Horace in a parody of a daytime court shoe ala People’s Court. The case in question for this installment was between Robert De Niro and Horatio Sanz as his ex. De Niro wanted to be reimbursed for the gym membership that he was paying for while they were together since Horatio’s character still ended up getting fat.

  9. Norah Jones then took to the stage to perform Don't Know Why. 

  10. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Maya Rudolph and Tracy Morgan then portrayed Whitney and Bobby in order to chime in on current events while making jokes that referenced the craziness we discovered during their reality show. Chris Kattan and Rachel Dratch then played an elderly couple named Marty and Sylvia Feinblatt who shared their tale from an ill-fated Disney cruise they were on that was making news at the time.

  11. A Very Versace Chanukah brought back Maya Rudolph as Donatella Versace in order to celebrate the holiday with the Osbourne family as her guests before winding her special with Robert De Niro as Roy who was really upset because of a fight that he had with Siegfried. We then got a special treat when the real Harvey Keitel as Siegfried.

  12. Robert De Niro then played a Used Car Salesman who used extreme violence in order to make a really harder sells.

  13. Bedtime Story had Robert De Niro as a dad tell a horrifying bedtime story to his some Chris Kattan where he mainly vented about Kattan’s mom, AKA De Niro’s ex-wife in a not so fictional tale where he blamed her for killing Kattan’s favorite nut stealing squirrel.

  14. Norah Jones then returned to the stage to perform Come Away With Me. 

  15. Channel 5 Late Night Movie was a parody of the campy late night movies that would often air on independent TV stations. In this film, Robert De Niro played a general who had nothing but bad ideas on how to stop a radioactive bear that was terrorizing the town.

  16. Finally, Robert De Niro closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E06... HOST: BRITTANY MURPHY... DATE: NOVEMBER 16, 2002

SNL: S28E06... HOST: BRITTANY MURPHY... DATE: NOVEMBER 16, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Adam Sandler singing his third rendition of the Chanukah Song with the help from special guests, the Dreidels which was a choir made up of a collection of kids and Rob Schneider who all sang background. As always, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Brittany Murphy then officially opened the show with a monolog where she shared an SNL secret that the West Coast cast members and the East Coast cast members have been in a comedy war for years which then built up to an 8 Mile-style rap battle between the two squads. 

  3. We then got a parody of Welcome Back, Kotter tilted Welcome Back, Potter which of course was a Harry Potter-themed reboot of the early ‘80s sit-com only with Harry Potter old enough to play the Kotter role.

  4. The Leather Man had Jimmy Fallon as the titular leather-clad man who ran leather shop and attempted to talk Brittany Murphy into a pair of leather snakeskin pants, while Horatio Sanz played Jimmy’s assistant named Choo-Choo who was completely ignored after getting bitten in the penis by a random rattlesnake that got mixed in with the latest leather deliver. Of course, this led to the classic joke about sucking the poison out where Jimmy opted to let Choo-Choo die rather than help to survive by using his mouth.

  5. This was followed by a parody of Donahue where Darrell Hammond as Donahue shared that he was distraught that no one was watching his show anymore, while Jeff Richards as Michael Moore and Maya Rudolph as Barbra Streisand attempted to explain the low ratings.

  6. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then gave us another installment of the dorm room webcast called Jarret's Room where this time they interviewed an easily excited Brittany Murphy who was there to share how she wanted to protest the killing of turkeys for Thanksgiving Day only she was unable to fully focus because she was too hopped up on energy drinks.

  7. Burrell's Statement had Seth Meyers as the late Princess Di’s butler who shared a statement about a recent scandal where he was caught having a gay affair with an Australian antiques dealer only he struggled to hide his gay tendencies in the process. The joke was more that he was trying to pull off this lie in front of his wife and not really the fact that he was gay.

  8. Tennis Talk With Time Traveling Scott Joplin gave us Maya Rudolph as a time-traveling Scott Joplin who went back in time just to hassle Brittany Murphy as Anna Kournikova about her looks to skill ration during an interview with her, Tracy Morgan and Dean Edwards as Venus and Serena William where the joke was the Williams girls were definitely known for their skills over their looks which may be a harsher joke than the Kournikova-based ribbing even though it wasn’t treated that way at all.

  9. Nelly and Kelly Rowland then took to the stage to perform Dilemma.

  10. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Jeff Richards returned as Drunk Girl and was again she was too drunk to get to the reason that she was on the news in the first place which was how a new study showed that wine actually helps with Alzheimer’s. Maya Rudolph and Chris Kattan then portrayed Liza Minelli and David Gest to drop in and explain why their reality show was canceled.

  11. We then got another installment of Astronaut Jones which was still pretty much the same as the last few where Tracy Morgan just sang his theme song, hit on the host as a big boobed alien and then sang the closing song, only this time musical guest, Nelly and special guest Garrett Morris joined in on the fun.

  12. TV Funhouse then gave us a new segment called the Religetable which was a parody of the Veggie-Tales that shared the darker sides of the history of modern religions. There was also a new interruption that showed how even modern-day practitioners still aren’t fully safe since is covered the story of a veggie priest who was charged with molesting young plants.

  13. Jack Handey then shared another chapter of My Big Thick Novel where this time, our hero shared a tale of when he slipped out of arm’s length while involved in a square dance routine.

  14. Nelly took to the stage alone to perform Hot In Herre.

  15. This was followed by another installment of The Girl With No Gaydar where this Rachel Dratch as the titular girl failed to realize that sculptor Brittany Murphy was a lesbian even though she was blatantly hitting on her.

  16. Finally, Brittany Murphy closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E05... HOST: NIA VARDALOS... DATE: NOVEMBER 9, 2002

SNL: S28E05... HOST: NIA VARDALOS... DATE: NOVEMBER 9, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From The President Of The United States where once again, Chris Parnell played George W. Bush in order to use fuzzy math to predict the potential Republican wins in the upcoming midterm elections. Of course, since this was the opening sketch, this all led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Nia Vardalos then officially opened the show with a monolog about her Greek heritage while plugging My Big Fat Greek Wedding only to be interrupted by Tina Fey who shared that she was Greek as well and then introduced our host to her Greek “family” who were watching from the audience and all brought food as a gift.

  3. This was followed by a repeat of the Swiffer Sleepers ad from earlier in the season which was a pajama for kids made out of Swiffer pad materials that allowed babies to clean up while they crawl around.

  4. Jimmy Fallon and Chris Parnell’s ginger headed, Bloater Brothers characters then returned to giggle while trying to hit on Nia Vardalos while at a sushi bar with many jokes based on the Japanese language. As always they were all talk until the second she flirted back which instantly led the pair of brothers to freak out and back down.

  5. We then got a parody of CBS Special Report with Darrell Hammond as Dan Rather who shared a story about how nerds had taken over the cool kids during a local high school student elections as a backlash against Bush.

  6. La Femme Day Spa had Nia Vardalos as a spa matron who fought with Rachel Dratch’s stubborn hairs during a hot waxing session.

  7. Eve then took to the stage to perform Gangsta Lovin'. 

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Jimmy and Tina demonstrated their new sonar security system and Seth Meyers stopped by in order to share the conversations that he planned to have if he was to actually go to his ten-year high school reunion.

  9. We then got another offensive installment of The Ferey Muhtar Talk Show which mainly made fun of Middle Eastern accents and clichés where this time Nia Vardalos played a Turkish actress/guest who attempted to discuss her calendar and night out dancing in the same over-the-top accent as the rest of the people on the set. The only saving grace to the sketch was how with it being the second round there was a little more focus on developing the characters but it was still pretty much accent and stereotype based.

  10. This was followed by the debut of The Falconer which is the classic Will Forte series of sketched where he plays a falconer known as The Falconer who would always save the day with the help of his falcon.

  11. We then got a parody of a Pier 1 Imports ad where Nia Vardalos played former Pier 1 spokeswoman, Kristie Alley who kidnaped Rachel Dratch as a businesswoman in a desperate attempt keep doing her spokeswoman job even though she lost it.

  12. Dropping The L.B.'s With Missy E. was a parody workout tape with Tracy Morgan as Missy Elliot who shared her workout routine that led her to lose some weight herself.

  13. Eve then returned to the stage to perform Satisfaction.

  14. Glenda Goodwin: Attorney-at-Law had Maya Rudolph as an ambulance chasing attorney who promised to sue even against the most unbelievable of circumstances like being attacked by werewolves.

  15. Community Accents was a public access talk show with Horatio Sanz as a character named Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez who was easily distracted while talking to his panel of guests by constantly chiming in with random jokes. Between Horatio’s character’s name and the name of the fictional show, I was expecting much more accent based humor that just wasn’t there. I even had to go back twice to make sure I didn’t read the fictional show’s title wrong. By the end of the sketch, the fictional guests seemed just as confused.

  16. Finally, Nia Vardalos closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E04... HOST: ERIC MCCORMACK... DATE: NOVEMBER 2, 2002

SNL: S28E04... HOST: ERIC MCCORMACK... DATE: NOVEMBER 2, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a collection of parody political ads where Darrell Hammond as Rudolph Giuliani shared his campaign endorsement for this year’s mid-term elections. The main joke was that he knocked out over seventy endorsements in a row pitching both the candidate and their increasingly wacky platforms whether or not he actually knew who they were just as long as his handlers told him to do so. Of course with this being the opening sketch, it all built up to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Eric McCormack then officially opened the show with a monolog about his role on Will And Grace and how in the real world he not actually gay which sparked much confusion amongst effeminate men in the audience who hit on our host while claiming that they are not gay either. Chris Kattan then stepped in to save the day by sharing how people often mistake him for being gay as well which led McCormack to sing a flamboyant musical number in an effort to prove them all wrong.

  3. This was followed by a parody of The Bachelor where Amy Poehler as her one-legged character played a contestant who was vying for Eric McCormack, as The Bachelor’s heart.

  4. Game Night was a sketch that had Rachel Dratch go on a rampage when she lost a game of Celebrity which was a simple game where everyone involved wrote down names of famous people and placed the names in a bowl and couples would pair up to guess these names based on their partner's clues.

  5. We then got another fake political ad, this one was for Talarico For Congress where Chris Kattan as Andy Talarico advised voters to call Rachel Dratch as Ellen Frenkel in order to tell her to stop frightening senior citizens after slinging some mud.

  6. We then got a rebuttal of the last political ad, this one was called Frankel For Congress where Rachel Dratch as Frankel told voters to call Chris Kattan as Talarico in order to tell him to stop asking voters to call her in and stop asking her about her issues with senior citizen when they should be asking him about his voting records that actually contradicted his claims.

  7. This was followed by a parody of American Morning where the morning news took a back seat to Tina Fey as Paula Zahn when she started to hint at that the news of the day was that she was falling in love with her co-host, Brent Dunlop, as played by Eric McCormack.

  8. We then got another fake political ad called Fairness In Attack Ads where someone uninvolved with the election urged voters to call Rachel Dratch as Frankel instead of Chris Kattan as Talarico with another convoluted list of demands.

  9. Jay-Z and Lenny Kravitz then took to the stage to perform Guns And Roses.

  10. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Horatio Sanz returned as Gene Shalit in order to share more horrible puns only this time while sharing a couple of negative movie reviews. Jeff Richards also played a member of Jay-Z’s entourage named Baby K who was a tiny baby that danced and rapped on the news desk.

  11. The Bullhorn was a sketch that took place in a courtroom where Will Forte played an angry judge who couldn’t handle when Eric McCormack, as the defendant, kept interrupting the trial by repeatedly hitting the siren button on a bullhorn that for some reason they wouldn’t just take away.

  12. We then got what started out to look like a parody ad for Verizon only to discover it was yet another in the series of political ads where this time Chris Kattan as Talarico found out that his phone was disconnected from all of the calls in response to the other commercials.

  13. Z105 had Eric McCormack as a Councilman who dropped a morning radio talk show in order to promote his campaign only to find that he couldn’t get in a word against Jimmy Fallon’s morning zoo-style DJ who had a multitude of fictional radio show characters who ate up all of the time.

  14. We then got a fake ad for John Hancock Life Insurance which was an insurance company that specialized in the most extreme worst-case scenarios.

  15. Jay-Z then switched it up and took to the stage with Beyoncé to perform ‘03, Bonnie And Clyde.

  16. This was followed by a parody of Jackass: The Musical with Eric McCormack as Johnny Knoxville and several members of the cast making up the rest of the Jackass crew in order to perform a musical version of their dumb-stunt-based show.

  17. Reggie's Stories had Tracy Morgan as the titular Reggie who kept trying to share his tall-tales only to have Maya Rudolph as a barmaid who corrected each and every one of his exaggerations in another installment of a series of sketches that may not be connected but all have the same jazzy vibe.

  18. Finally, Eric McCormack closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E03... HOST: JOHN MCCAIN... DATE: OCTOBER 19, 2002

SNL: S28E03... HOST: JOHN MCCAIN... DATE: OCTOBER 19, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody coverage of Decision 2002: Iraqi State News where we saw Iraqi-base reporting on the Iraqi Presidential Election that had all of the reporters, as well as Horatio Sanz as Saddam Hussein, keep openly hinting how Saddam was responsible for setting up his own landslide win. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. John McCain then officially opened the show with a monolog where he announced that he was the first sitting Senator to host the show. He then went on to tell a dad joke about one of the other Senators, only to have Fred Armisen’s Fericito character interrupt in order to teach the Senator how to tell successful jokes by using a funny catchphrase in order to emphasize the joke. He then went on to tell a few jokes of his own ending each example with a rim shot followed by his catchphrase, “Ay, dios mio.”

  3. This was followed by another parody of Hardball where this time, Darrell Hammond as Chris Matthews hosted a debate on the safety measures against terrorism between John McCain as John Ashcroft and Rachel Dratch as Rebecca DeWitt while Tracy Morgan chimed in with nonsense while portraying Harry Belafonte.

  4. To Love, Honor, And Stalk: The Gillian Woodward Story was a parody of a The Lifetime Network movie-of-the-week that misconstrued the story of Amy Poehler as Gillian Woodward by misrepresenting her close-talking husband, John McCain, as a dangerous stalker to be overcome.

  5. Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch then gave us another installment of their high school produced morning talk show Wake Up Wakefield where this time they interviewed John McCain as their hippie teacher who also showed them how to carve a Steely Dan-themed jack-o-lantern for Halloween.

  6. TV Funhouse then gave us another installment of The Ambiguously Gay Duo where the bigheaded villain attempted to subdue our superheroes by playing into their gayness and getting them involved in a décor change.

  7. This was followed by a parody of Meet The Press where Darrell Hammond as Tim Russert wouldn’t stop asking John McCain, as himself, if he'd be running for president in 2004.

  8. The White Stripes then took to the stage to perform Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground.

  9. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Will Forte his dry talking character, Tim Calhoun who utilized Equal Time Rule in order to share his mundane political views while asking for votes in an upcoming local election.

  10. This was followed by a fake ad for McCain Sings Streisand which was an album that John McCain put out in order to get back at Barbra Streisand for sticking her nose into the world of politics and constantly sharing her views.

  11. Jack Handey then shared another chapter of My Big Thick Novel where this time our hero recalled a crisis of conscience during dinner with a bunch of cannibals.

  12. Top O' The Morning was a talk show hosted by Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers as two Irish pub drinkers who have a “heard all the jokes, thank you very much, so save them,” attitude as they interview John McCain as Frank McCourt.

  13. The White Stripes then returned to the stage to perform We're Going To Be Friends.

  14. Finally, John McCain closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E02... HOST: SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR... DATE: OCTOBER 12, 2002

SNL: S28E02... HOST: SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR... DATE: OCTOBER 12, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From The President Of The United States where Chris Parnell took over the George W. Bush impersonation in order to warn Saddam Hussein of his intentions to track him down no matter where he hides with Darrell Hammond as Dick Cheney by his side chiming in from time to time with added threats to Saddam and encouragements to our dim-witted President. Of course, since this was the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Sarah Michelle Gellar then officially opened the show with a monolog about her recent marriage to Freddy Prinze Jr. and the release of her new music album. She then went on to play a tune only to be interrupted by Chris Kattan, Rachel Dratch, and Amy Poehler as a family of vampires in the audience who interrupted our host when they stood to leave after getting offended by a Buffy The Vampire Slayer inspired joke that Gellar casually made while introducing the song that she never got to sing.

  3. This was followed by a fake ad for Swiffer Sleepers which was a line of children’s pajamas made with a specially-designed dust-cloth material that cleaned up while the kids would play around on the ground.

  4. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Fred Armisen, and Amy Poehler then played a group of cops called The Be Safe Gang who dropped by a Junior High School to give kids horrible advice while they shared the dangers of drugs and alcohol, premarital sex and STD, and how the kids could use their bodies to protect themselves from violent crimes. The information being shared was so terrible that the kids would have been much better off if they were left to figure things out on their own.

  5. Musical Dentist had Chris Kattan as a dentist who kept getting swept away by a collection of romantic songs that would get him fantasizing about his hygienist, Sarah Michelle Gellar, while in the middle of a major dental procedure on Chris Parnell. After a quick make-out session that led to a dead Parnell, we learned that Chris Kattan was actually not a dentist but a doctor and this whole dentist thing was just a fantasy that he was having about Sarah Michelle Gellar as his nurse during surgery which also led to the death of Chris Parnell. Finally, the Inception of a sketch concluded with Chris Kattan as a cashier and all of this was in his head as he read a rag mag featuring Gellar as herself.

  6. We then got a fake ad for Trans American Airlines that played off of the fear of terrorism with the promise that, “Unlike other airlines, Trans America guarantees there will be racial profiling,” in order to keep the airs safe and sound.

  7. This was followed by a parody of the Corona ad campaign at the time where Jimmy Fallon played a drunk guy on a Caribbean beach where he accidentally threw his beer bottle instead of his cell phone when a work call caused it to buzz.

  8. We then went to the Middle East to witness a Saddam Hussein Briefing where Darrell Hammond played The Butcher Of Baghdad in order to outline his new strategy to hide from America with his cabinet that included the introduction of Chris Kattan and Horatio Sanz as two of his body doubles who were pretty much just there to be executed instead of him. The main joke set in when Horatio Sanz entered the scene and Saddam was offended because he felt this was a way for his cabinet to make fun of him for being fat, which then led to a parody of the, “What am I a clown,” scene from the movie Goodfellas.

  9. This was followed by the second installment of the parody Corona ad from earlier in the night, where once again, Jimmy Fallon played the same drunk and once again he threw his bottle of beer instead of his phone when another work call came in. Only this time he tried talking into the bottle before he threw it, thinking that he actually did grab the phone this go around.

  10. Faith Hill then took to the stage to perform Cry.

  11. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers introduced his impersonation of Steve, the annoying Dell kid in order to discuss teen depression while acting like a high energy, enthusiastic douche and share his super dark inner thoughts that contradicted his ever-present smile. Maya Rudolph and Sarah Michelle Gellar also stopped by as Ripple and DeLorean, better known as the Ramada sisters, who were the unglamorous version of the jet-setting Hilton sisters.

  12. This was followed by a parody of MTV’s Making The Video where Sarah Michelle Gellar played Christina Aguilera for a behind-the-scenes look at the making of her new Dirrty music video, where dirty meant dirty in every single way that the way the word dirty can be defined both literally and figuratively.

  13. Sarah Michelle Gellar then plays a spokeswoman in order to promote the DVD release of Arli$$ as a way to avoid any likelihood of embarrassing pants-wetting since there are zero laughs for women in this show. Right after the sketch, Tracy Morgan stopped our host on the way to her dressing room tried to engage her and musical guest, Faith Hill in a catfight in order to fulfill his fantasy. The two woman tried to rat Tracy out to Lorne Michaels only to have him help out with Tracy’s efforts as well.

  14. Faith Hill then returned to the stage to perform I'm Free.

  15. I Love My Man was a sketch that had Maya Rudolph as a sexy woman who knows just how her man, Tracy Morgan, feels about her because she takes care of her body. This was more of a parody of the jazz aesthetic in general, over referencing a specific show.

  16. This was followed by the third installment of the parody Corona ad that’s been running throughout the night where this time, Jimmy Fallon threw his beer bottle instead of his phone once again, only this time he hit and killed another beachgoer but he was too drunk to know.

  17. Blame Saddam was a bit of a propaganda sketch that highlighted how Saddam Hussein might not have been responsible for 9/11, but Americans still didn’t mind using it as a reason to come after him just the same.

  18. Sexual Harassment Seminar introduced a Chris Parnell character named Merv The Perv who disputed all of the information being provided while he hit on all of the women in attendance.

  19. Finally, Sarah Michelle Gellar closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E01... HOST: MATT DAMON... DATE: OCTOBER 5, 2002

SNL: S28E01... HOST: MATT DAMON... DATE: OCTOBER 5, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a parody of an NBC Special Report with Chris Parnell as Tom Brokaw that had Darrell Hammond as Dick Cheney check in via satellite as he rode on the back of a missile that was headed toward Iraq, ala Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb. Of course, with this being the opening sketch it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Matt Damon then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he was supposed to host last season and really wanted to perform in a sketch about a huge summer news story that time, like the Martha Stewart scandal that landed her in prison, or some other story with a little meat, only to end up reenacting Justin Timberlake’s angry dance-off with recent ex-girlfriend Britney Spears which was providing filler news at the time.

  3. This was followed by a fake promo for The NRA where the AFLAC duck was shot by a couple of gun-toting members of the NRA after hinting that it was an AFLAC ad causing the NRA angle to be a Shyamalanian Twist.

  4. Tracy Morgan then brought us another Brian Fellow's Safari Planet segment where this time he reprimanded Horatio Sanz for his filthy sex talk after he tried to explain the mating habits of a porcupine. Matt Damon then played guest number two with his pot belly pig only Fellows was too preoccupied with thoughts of Horatio’s porcupine talking dirty to be able to focus on Damon’s words.

  5. We then got a second installment of the fake promo for The NRA where this time Seth Meyers as Carrot Top was also shot by the same two gun-toting members of the NRA after setting it up to be a fake ad for AT&T’s collect call services that Carrot Top was promoting around this time.

  6. Jimmy Fallon and Rachel Dratch’s always recorded Boston Teen Couple then went to a Springsteen Concert where they were up to their usual antics with Matt Damon throughout The Boss’s show. Mainly, this sketch was made up of Jimmy, Damon, and Dratch discussing how they snuck in their booze.

  7. This was followed by a fake ad for Nutri-Quick which was an anal-suppository diet plan for meals when you a literally on-the-go.

  8. Hannibal Goes To College had Matt Damon as Hannibal Lecter for a fake prequel trailer to both Silence Of The Lambs and Red Dragon that showed what happened when our anti-hero attended Michigan State University and was treated like a pathetic nerd.

  9. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band then took to the stage to perform Lonesome Day.

  10. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers and Matt Damon dropped in to share their advice to Yankees fans about how to cope with losing the World Series from that year, considering that Boston fans had a lot of experience with losing, especially around this time period. Fred Armisen then made his news debut as a Spanish comedian named Fericito who attempted to teach Jimmy Fallon how to tell a joke which mainly consisted of finishing every line with a rim shot along with the catchphrase, “Ay dios mio.”

  11. Dr. Matt Damon had Chris Parnell as a doctor named Matt Damon who really hated being overshadowed by our famous host since they share the exact same name. We also met several other doctors who shared their names with famous celebrities, like Tracy Morgan as Dr. Ben Affleck, and Dean Edwards as Dr. J.

  12. Versace Pockets had Maya Rudolph as Donatella Versace in order to introduce her new line of very expensive microwaveable Hot Pocket-style food.

  13. TV Funhouse then gave us a new segment called The Smurfette Show that mashed-up the antics from Anna Nicole Smith’s reality show with the character from The Smurfs.

  14. Bruce Springsteen then ditched The E Street Band and returned to the stage to perform You're Missing.

  15. Sex Robot had Matt Damon as a lazy scientist who was working a Sex Robot Project as an effort to fight the war on terror due to the whole 72 virgins being the terrorist heavenly reward. Only it turned out that Damon miss used the projects sixteen million dollar funding and dressed humans as robots instead, only the financiers still wanted to test the product.

  16. The Dr. Phil Show had Jeff Richards as Dr. Phil who kept confusing his guests with his crazy Texan expressions.

  17. This was followed by a fake ad for The War On Iraq which was NBC effort to make a new hilarious sit-com based on the real-time political events that were making news at the time.

  18. Finally, Matt Damon closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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