SNL: S28E20... HOST: DAN AYKROYD... DATE: MAY 17, 2003

SNL: S28E20... HOST: DAN AYKROYD... DATE: MAY 17, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with another parody of Hardball where once again Darrell Hammond played Chris Matthews, this time to mock the potential Democratic nominees who would be going up against George W. Bush in the upcoming presidential election. Of Course, with this being the opening sketch, this eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Dan Aykroyd then officially opened the show with a monolog about his history with the show and how much he loved his late castmate, John Belushi. After sadly acknowledging that John was gone he called his brother Jim Belushi to the stage in order to sing Time Won’t Let Me by The Outsiders.

  3. Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon then revised their pub drinking talk show host characters in order to give us another installment of Top O' The Morning To You where this time they had on Dan Aykroyd as Seth Meyers’ dad who let his other 22 kids run amok in the pub during his interview.

  4. We then got another installment of Rialto Grande with Chris Kattan as a cheesy Las Vegas lounge comedian and Fred Armisen as his hard of hearing drummer/sidekick who is always late with his rim shots. This time, the Kattan showed off his son who was played by special guest, Kip King before introducing his main guest, Dan Aykroyd who played an old-timey comedian named Donnie “The Finger” Gabisky.

  5. The Falconer then returned for another installment where this time the falcon hung out with Dan Aykroyd and a bunch of bikers while The Falconer was sinking in quicksand.

  6. TV Funhouse then gave us an animated treat where Ben Affleck buys Cokee, The Most Expensive Dog In The World for J-Lo who was still his girlfriend at the time this show originally aired.

  7. Donatella Versace Backyard Barbeque had Maya Rudolph as Donatella once again, this time to host a barbeque with her quirky celebrity guests.

  8. Beyonce and Jay-Z then took to the stage to perform Crazy In Love.

  9. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Jeff Richards returned as Drunk Girl and attempted to tan on the Weekend Update desk. Chris Kattan also returned for another one of his Terrible Re-Enactments where this time he re-enacted his “terrible career” where he did all of his characters in a couple of minutes to celebrate his last episode with the show.

  10. Astronaut Jones also returned for another segment where this time Dan Aykroyd played his Chief Science Officer while Maya Rudolph played the sexy alien from Venus who Jones hit on.

  11. La Cuisina Canina was a sketch ahead of its time about a restaurant for dogs which I’m pretty sure is a real thing at this time, only in this sketch they had people playing dogs with no sign of any real beasts which was sort of a surprise because I was expecting to see at least one or two.

  12. Beyonce then returned to the stage alone to perform Dangerously In Love.

  13. Dr. Deacon's Haunch Crack Powder hand Dan Aykroyd as Sam Elliot in order to pitch a new butt powder.

  14. Finally, Dan Aykroyd closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E19... HOST: ADRIEN BRODY... DATE: MAY 10, 2003

SNL: S28E19... HOST: ADRIEN BRODY... DATE: MAY 10, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a parody of the American Idol Finale where Jimmy Fallon as Ryan Seacrest repeatedly throwing to commercials instead of announcing the big winner of their year’s season of the show. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Adrien Brody then officially opened the show wondering through the audience to kiss several women and Horatio Sanz before finally taking to the stage to thank his mom, Sylvia Plachy, who was/is a famous photographer amongst the New York scene since at the stroke of midnight it was going to be mother’s day.

  3. This was followed by a fake ad for Mom Jeans which was a line of jeans with elastic waistbands and made it look like the women in the ad were wearing a diaper which was the traditional mom style at that time.

  4. We then got another installment of Brian Fellow's Safari Planet where this time, Tracy Morgan as Fellows was so fearful that the first guest’s hairless cat was out to shave his head that he could barely pay attention to the rest of his guests.

  5. Chris Kattan then introduced the Self-Involved Guy character who was so self-obsessed that he creeped out his blind date, Rachel Dratch who couldn’t get over the fact that he had a billboard size photo of himself taking up a full wall of his apartment. She also couldn’t grasp the fact that Kattan had Adrien Brody as a manservant who acted like an obsessed fan. The final deal breaker was the fact that all of the music in Kattan’s house were cover songs that he sang and recorded.

  6. This was followed by another installment of Live With Regis & Kelly where once again Darrell Hammond played Regis and Amy Poehler play Kelly in order to interview Adrien Brody as a winner of their Wild, Wild Trivia segment and was there to share his tale of terror about how he barely survived the dangerous vacation that was the prize.

  7. TV Funhouse then gave us a parody of a Middle Eastern cartoon that had Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein as partners in crime who attempted to hide from American forces who were out to get them.

  8. Sean Paul then took to the stage to perform Get Busy.

  9. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Rachel Dratch returned as Qrplt*xk, the drooling baby with the arm coming out of her head, to share how she became a rejected mutant for the upcoming X-Men 2 movie, only all that she did was stand in one spot and drool throughout her entire appearance. Horatio Sanz also stopped by as Elton John in order to share a new song from a new musical version of Anne Rice’s Vampire Lestat.

  10. LensMasters took place in a LensCrafters-style store where Adrian Brody and Chris Kattan played rude employees who were super competitive in trying to show off the most offbeat glasses in the store to a non-offbeat customer who was played by Amy Poehler.

  11. We then went to a Dance Class where our host played suave Latin dance instructor who had to teach several members of the cast how to dance, which was fun, considering these students were awkward adult losers who seemed like they’ve never seen a dance floor before.

  12. Wayne Wonder then took to the stage to perform No Letting Go.

  13. Velvet Productions took us to a homoerotic pornographic production company that struggled to think up a new name for their porno version of the movie The Pianist along with several other films with titles that already sound like porn titles, like the movie Holes.

  14. Finally, Adrien Brody closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E18... HOST: ASHTON KUTCHER... DATE: MAY 3, 2003

SNL: S28E18... HOST: ASHTON KUTCHER... DATE: MAY 3, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started on The U.S.S. Lincoln where Chris Parnell as George W. Bush to parody Bush’s premature claims that the war in Iraq was over before lying to the Navy members aboard the boat with claims that they’ll soon be heading home. Of course, with this being the opening sketch it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Ashton Kutcher then officially opened the show with a monolog about how hosting Saturday Night live was a dream come true with the bigger joke being that Ashton is so absent-minded that he forgot to put on pants before heading out to the main stage.

  3. This was followed by a fake ad for Count Chocula Silver which was an attempt to rebrand the classic coco cereal as the newly recommended the fiber filled morning meal for the elderly considering the Count was so old and started each day with his own cereal.

  4. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then gave us another installment of their dorm room webcast called Jarret's Room where this week the two interviewed Ashton Kutcher who played their sole Icelandic viewer who was staying with Jarret in his dorm during a U.S. visit. The main joke of the sketch being that Kutcher kept mixing up words due to his poor grasp of the English language.

  5. Madonna: An American Life was a parody of an interview special where Seth Meyers as Matt Lauer interviewed Amy Poehler as Madonna where all of Lauer’s questions focused on Madonna’s age and what it was like to be so old while still being a pop star.  

  6. Plagiarism had Chris Parnell as a teacher who was fully aware of his student attempts to cheat on their final assignment with the help of the internet. Though some students used professional cheating sights that sell papers from other students, a majority used more blatant schemes like asking a friend what they thought of a book via email and then printing up their response and considering the assignment done, or simply printing out an already established web review as their own report.

  7. 50 Cent then took to the stage to perform In Da Club. 

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Maya Rudolph and Chris Kattan returned as Liza Minelli and David Gest in order to celebrate David’s birthday. Tracy Morgan also got a segment where he shared the fact that he ate Saddam Hussein’s birthday cake that the Weekend Update team bought for the dictator because they felt he needed some cheering up after losing the war. Will Forte and Fred Armisen also returned as Patrick and Gunther Kelly to sing a new PSA of a song this one was about SARS prevention.

  9. The Falconer then returned for another installment where this time Will Forte as the titular The Falconer had competition in Ashton Kutcher who was better known as The Muskrateer.

  10. After the sketch, we went behind the scenes as Ashton made his way back to his dressing room where Tracy Morgan confronted out host and warned him of the ass-kicking he’d receive if he were to try to Punk Tracy at any point during the episode. Dean Edwards added to the threat after overhearing the conversation while walking to where ever he needed to be. This had Ashton terrified until Lorne Michaels stepped in to sort everything out ending with both Morgan and Edwards demanding Michaels to go and get them their drinks.

  11. Politics Today was a talk show hosted by Fred Armisen who had on Ashton Kutcher as a high school dropout that attempted to discuss the big topics of the day only to ramble on about a bunch of nonsense. Amy Poehler, Tracy Morgan, and Darrell Hammond also played derelict guests who all chimed in with terrible insights based on their limited knowledge of current events.

  12. 50 Cent then took the stage to with G Unit and Nate Dogg to perform 21 Questions. 

  13. ‘50s Ent. took place in a prison where the prisoners incite a riot after the prison warden introduced a the titular ‘50s Ent. (AKA ‘50s Entertainment) which led the prisoners to expect 50 Cent as entertainment for the night.

  14. We then got a repeat of the Global Investments ad from earlier in the season where Chris Parnell played an investment expert who blatantly admitted that the stock market just isn’t fair and how he and the people with power take advantage of all the world’s crises.

  15. Finally, Ashton Kutcher closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E17... HOST: RAY ROMANO... DATE: APRIL 12, 2003

SNL: S28E17... HOST: RAY ROMANO... DATE: APRIL 12, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From Saddam Hussein that was obviously prerecorded even though Horatio Sanz as Hussein kept insisting the video was live in an effort to prove that he is not dead while he tried to spread his propaganda that Iraq was winning this war. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, and all the talk about Saddam recording this live, the end of the sketch smoothly transitioned into the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Ray Romano then officially opened the show with a couple of bits from his stand-up routine where he joked about adult movies in hotels, which was followed by a few jokes about his new twins and older son.

  3. What's The Rush was a talk show sketch hosted by Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler who both played virgins who had on Ray Romano as their guest because he claimed to be a “bonin’ expert.” Even though Romano looked like a total sleaze, the two pure virgins hung on his every word as they nervously asked for details about intercourse.

  4. Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch then gave us another installment of their high school produced morning talk show called Wake Up Wakefield where this time Ray Romano played Dratch’s character Sheldon’s dad who dropped in for career day in order to share what it’s like to work as a tax attorney.

  5. Zwan then took to the stage to perform Lyric. 

  6. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers made a surprise visit as the winner of the SNL NCAA March Madness pool and just wanted to literally rub his money in the face of Jimmy and Tina while being a very bad winner. Darrell Hammond also stopped by as the Minister Of Information only to share a bunch of political lies.

  7. Rialto Grande then returned for another installment of Chris Kattan as an aging Las Vegas lounge comedian, with Fred Armisen as his hard of hearing drummer who is constantly late with his rim shots. This we Kattan introduced Ray Romano who played a very lackluster old-timey comedian himself.

  8. We then got a parody of a CNN Newsbreak where Darrell Hammond as Aaron Brown discussed the Rialto Grande sketch that just aired and then had to wait to throw to the next sketch as if he were waiting to hear from the production booth that it was ready forcing him to kill some time by rambling the way news anchor fill time while working through a technical glitch.

  9. Next was a parody of the movie Phone Booth only in this version, Ray Romano was the one being mentally tormented by the sniper on the other end of the line. I never saw the real movie because I thought it sounded dumb but this sketch was kind of funny because it came across as a prank show instead of a suspense/thriller taking place in a tiny booth.

  10. This was followed by a parody of Access Hollywood where Ray Romano played a new co-anchor who annoyed the hell out of the rest of the Access Hollywood on-air talent because he kept going off the script to randomly make stories up.

  11. Zwan then returned to the stage to perform Settle Down. 

  12. Club Traxx also returned for another installment where this time Ray Romano was the Euro MTV show’s main guest as a sleazy Iraqi singer who was the latest hit amongst the European dance scene.

  13. Finally, Ray Romano closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E16... HOST: BERNIE MAC... DATE: APRIL 5, 2003

SNL: S28E16... HOST: BERNIE MAC... DATE: APRIL 5, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From The President Of The United States where Chris Parnell as George W. Bush addressed the situation in Iraq by attempting to make even the most mundane signs of progress sound like major accomplishments toward winning the war. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Bernie Mac then officially opened the show with a few bits from his stand-up routine where he joked about how he’s constantly on the lookout for suspicious behavior as a result of all of the fear-mongering that was being pushed by our political leaders and the news and how he might be going too far with what he finds to be suspicious.

  3. Jimmy Fallon and Rachel Dratch then revised their always recorder Boston Teens couple characters where this week they were at a game at Fenway Park where they attempted to buy a beer off of Bernie Mac as a beer vendor by using a fake I.D. At first, Bernie seemed like the type that wouldn’t put up with the couple nonsense claiming that he wasn’t willing to risk his job so that the two underaged lovers could get drunk but then he joined in on the recorded fun while taking a mini-break.

  4. Brain Busters was a game show parody that had Bernie Mac as the host who asked trivia questions to Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz. At first thing run rather smoothly, the two contestants even broke a record by not getting a single question wrong, that is until they got to the final category devoted to Black History where they not only struggled to get a single question correct, they were aware how bad it looked and were terrified about offending out host.

  5. This was followed by a fake ad for the Hot Sauce Carry Purse where Bernie Mac and Maya Rudolph played two partygoers who couldn’t enjoy their burgers while attending a white people party because there was no hot sauce which led them to resort to the Hot Sauce Carry Purse to save the day.

  6. The Pianist had Bernie Mac and Tracy Morgan as two black guys in a movie theater who talked through the movie The Pianist in the same clichéd way that it’s often portrayed that black people talk to the screen during horror films.

  7. Good Charlotte then took to the stage to perform Anthem.

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Horatio Sanz played Gene Shalit once again only this time he’s become an embedded reporter who was checking in from Iraq via satellite to deliver war news with his puns. Jeff Richards also returned as Drunk Girl in order to share a few spring break tips. Chris Parnell and Will Forte then rounded out the news as the singing duo named U.S. Amen and the two sang a song in response to all of the anti-war celebrities who were making a lot of noise when it was very unpopular to be against the Iraq war or whatever we call wars these days.

  9. The Four Stooges was a parody of The Three Stooges that had Bernie Mac as a late addition to the trio, Slapping Rib-Eye who introduced a much more extreme brand of violence to the Stooges’ old black and white routine after getting slapped for the sake of humor that didn’t go over all that well.

  10. No Smoking had Bernie Mac, Amy Poehler, and Jimmy Fallon as a bunch of chain-smoking barflies who don’t know how to handle themselves now that smoking has been banned from their favorite drinking establishment.

  11. Second Time Around was a talk show with Maya Rudolph as the show’s host, Glenda Goodwin, and Rachel Dratch as her sidekick. This was a show devoted to people who were turning over a new leaf of life and had on Bernie Mac as Goodwin’s ex-husband so that the two could sign papers so that she could turn over a new leaf of her own.

  12. This was followed by yet another repeat of the Swiffer Sleepers commercial from earlier in the season which was for a line of pajamas for kids made out of Swiffer material so that they could passively clean while they played.

  13. We then went down into Saddam's Bunker where Horatio Sanz played the hiding dictator and his guards kept trying to trick him out of his hiding space to help aid the U.S.’s win since everyone felt it was a lost cause by this time and were tired of having to lie and constantly claim the opposite.

  14. Good Charlotte then returned to the stage to perform Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous. 

  15. We then got a fake ad for Don Banks' King of "Comedy" Suits which had Bernie Mac as a pitchman who promotes his clothing store filled with loud colored suits designed in the style of the stand-up special/movie The Original Kings Of Comedy.

  16. Finally, Bernie Mac closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E15... HOST: SALMA HAYEK... DATE: MARCH 15, 2003

SNL: S28E15... HOST: SALMA HAYEK... DATE: MARCH 15, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody coverage of a Bush Press Conference where Chris Parnell as George W. Bush took questions from magazines in an effort to address the claims that the questions from his last press conference were too soft. Being that a bulk of attendees worked for online sources, the questions ended up being even softer than anything that would ever come out of the real press corps. Of course, with this being the opening sketch it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Salma Hayek then officially opened the show with a monolog about being very nervous to do live comedy and how accommodating the male members of the cast have been before Chris Kattan interrupted with an ‘80s backup band in order to sing We Belong to our host. The segment then ended with a special surprise visit from Ed Norton who was disguised as a member of the ‘80s band since he was our host's real-life boyfriend at the time.

  3. Seth Meyers and Will Forte then revised their pub drinking talk show host characters for another installment of Top O' The Morning. This time, the two had on Selma Hayek as Seth Meyers’ girlfriend who creates a conflict between the two hosts because of the fact that she’s Mexican and not Irish which was extra rough considering they were there to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. After a bit of bickering back and forth, Jimmy discovered that the two cultures had a lot more in common than he thought.

  4. TV Funhouse then gave us another animated segment this time as a parody of the one season and done game show Are You Hot? only in this version, the contestants are made up of classic cartoon girls who are being judged on the looks.

  5. Versace Oscar Special brought back Maya Rudolph as Donatella Versace where she and her assistant, Selma Hayek, discussed dress designs for the upcoming Academy Awards with Donatella being so jaded and bored that she made it seem effortless. Eventually, musical guest, Christina Aguilera joined the scene to ask for a dress to wear to an upcoming industry party and Donatella gave Christina the dress right off her back.

  6. The Box was a sketch where Will Forte hid inside a box in an effort to catch his wife, Selma Hayek and Jimmy Fallon who he thought were having an affair. Though the plan worked in that Forte confirmed the affair, it failed in that he was stuck in the box after hearing the damning evidence and was unable to fight for his woman.

  7. Frida I had Selma Hayek lambasting the movie Chicago for plagiarizing the Broadway musical version in an effort to boost her own chances at winning an Oscar for her work in Frida.

  8. Christina Aguilera then took to the stage to perform Beautiful. 

  9. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Fred Armisen returned as Ferecito along with his wife, Selma Hayek in order to practice their new routine as a team which still mainly consisted of Ferecito saying a lame joke and tagging it with the catchphrase “Ay, dios mio,” only now Hayek followed this up by proclaiming “Ay, pope.” Amy Poehler also got a segment as Avril Lavigne mainly to let her punk presence be known during her visit. Chris Kattan snuck in as Gollum to make his own unique Oscar picks and Jimmy Fallon wrapped things up by singing the top forty St. Patrick’s Day inspired parody songs.

  10. Seduction Class had Selma Hayek as a teacher who taught adults losers to be bolder with their presence in order to win over the guys and girls of their dreams. Being that most of the class was made up of men, a nerdy Rachel Dratch was the only female in the class so by default she became the example woman for all of the men to hit on with their very pathetic moves and she loved all of the positive attention even if the pick-up lines were a little off.

  11. Frida II brought Selma Hayek back to continue with her efforts to bash the play Chicago, this time by claiming that they supported terrorist organizations.

  12. The Channel 5 Late Night Movie is another favorite sketch where Tracy Morgan and Selma Hayek play a married couple who lived in The Empire State Building and got a surprise visit from King Kong’s unit when it got stuck in their window during his climb. The two then had to tug on the member thinking it was a rug until the giant ape was done and had to climb down for a nap.

  13. Christian Aguilera then returned to the stage to perform Fighter. 

  14. Frida III gave the play Chicago a chance to rebut all of Selma Hayek’s claims from throughout the night but then our host just slandered them even further.

  15. Finally, Salma Hayek closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E14... HOST: QUEEN LATIFAH... DATE: MARCH 8, 2003

SNL: S28E14... HOST: QUEEN LATIFAH... DATE: MARCH 8, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a parody of 60 Minutes where Dan Aykroyd made a special appearance as Bob Dole in order to have a point/counterpoint debate with Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton over the impending war in Iraq. Clinton’s main point was how he was such a great President that he should be allowed to rule again while tip-toeing around the actual topic which led Dole to share his counterpoint by calling Bill Clinton an ignorant slut before going on to promote the war in a tradition republican war-mongering fashion. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Queen Latifah then officially opened the show with a monolog about how excited she is with her new acting career before giving a shout out to her hometown. This shout out led to the sound of horns as Seth Myers, Horatio Sanz, and May Rudolph joined the Queen on stage dressed as her royal subjects to give our host and the crowd an update on the state of the Kingdom Of Latifah.

  3. 106 And Park Top 10 Live was the parody of a B.E.T. show that had Jeff Richards revise his baby rapper character Baby K along with his new manager/nanny Queen Latifah at a radio show where Baby K debuted his new music video for his latest rap song.

  4. This was followed by a parody of Live! With Regis & Kelly where Queen Latifah played Frenchie Davis from American Idol in order to yuk it up with Darrell Hammond and Amy Poehler as Regis and Kelly.

  5. Who Farted? was a parody of a game show where contestants were all packed into a cramped room where they have to seek the answer to the titular question, Who Farted?

  6. Where Are They Now? was a parody of a profile show that shared the rise and of a ‘60s-style woman’s singing group called The Cherylettes who sang a song called The Wiggle, that brought them to the top only to follow that song with a bunch of knock-off flops with other songs named after simple dance moves that just didn’t go over well with their fans.

  7. This was followed by the parody game show I'm A Celebrity: Who Farted? which was just the celebrity version of the regular Who Farted? show.

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Horatio Sanz dropped in as terrorist leader Khalid Shaikh Mohammed in order to share that he didn’t like the new photo of him, where he looked like Ron Jeremy, that was being shared by the news. Jeff Richards then stopped by as Dustin Hoffman to some convoluted logic to explain how he didn’t host the Grammy’s because New York City hosted the show and then rambled on with some more rambling thoughts. Chris Parnell also introduced a character named Trevor The Broadway Guy who shared his sadness over the fact that the eighteen Broadway shows were closing due to a strike.

  9. Ms. Dynamite then took to the stage to perform Dy-na-mi-tee. 

  10. Give Up The Ham took place in a grocery store where Queen Latifah and Amy Poehler were interested in buy the same piece of ham and fought with one another over who deserved it more. Rachel Dratch eventually joined in with Amy Poehler as her and the Queen continued to have a meat-based tug-a-war which added a racial angle to the message of the sketch as Maya Rudolph joined Latifah. Chris Kattan and Tracy Morgan also chose obvious sides based on racial lines as each one felt their race’s representative deserved the ham. Eventual, Chris Parnell joined the scene as an announce who explained that the writer of the sketch was wasted off of free beer when he wrote this bizarre scene that may or may not have been intended to be a world peace analogy because he was blacked out by the time he sent it in.

  11. TV Funhouse then gave us another installment of The X-Presidents where this time the former leaders attempted to cast SpongeBob Squarepants in a role for a new piece of pro-war propaganda that attempted to convince the citizens that the Iraq War was warranted after show samples of propaganda filled cartoons from the past.

  12. This was followed by a parody Profiles In Jazz that shared the history of Queen Latifah as Alberta Jones who was a singer in the forties who was outwardly-obvious with the suggestive lyrics that made up her popular tunes. There were also many side interviews where people would attempt to explain her lyrics as if they were subtle even though each tune was blatantly pornographic.

  13. We then went to a local pharmacy where Horatio Sanz and Queen Latifah played typical drug store employees who had no problem openly talking about the medicines and products that their customers could barely admit that they need. In the end, we found out that the service was so bad because it was actually a fake commercial for Walgreens who were attempting to make themselves look better by throwing the competition under the bus.

  14. This was followed by a Mr. Rogers Tribute where Horatio Sanz sand You Are My Friend in remembrance of the late and legendary children’s show host.

  15. Finally, Queen Latifah closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E13... HOST: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN... DATE: FEBRUARY 22, 2003

SNL: S28E13... HOST: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN... DATE: FEBRUARY 22, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with another parody of Hardball where once again Darrell Hammond portrayed Chris Matthews in order to be hostile with his guest. This time his main focus was Christopher Walken as the French Foreign Minister who Matthews mocked for his anti-war stance on Iraq. At the same time, he also mocked Chris Parnell who played a war-mongering conservative. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Christopher Walken then officially opened the show with another song and dance, just like every one of his other visits. I don’t know if the song was made up or just old and I’ve never heard it before.

  3. Pranksters was the parody of a prank show with Seth Meyers as an overly energetic host who had on guests to share their prank videos. Chris Kattan played the first guest whose prank was pretty simple and what you’d expect from this type of show. Christopher Walken then played the second guest who shared a video of him killing Chris Parnell with a crowbar for stealing his parking space. Though Walken finds this hilarious, Seth Meyers is so horrified that he started to shake in his pants.

  4. We then got an obligatory installment of The Continental where once again the lecherous Walken attempted to trap a woman in his high rise apartment, only this time the woman in question was a supermodel that he tricked into his abode by claiming to be casting for a model to promote his new line of cosmetic products.

  5. This was followed by a sketch that took place on a Life Raft where Christopher Walken played a crazy captain tried to take the lead of the survivors even though he was fully responsible for the crash that landed them all on the raft in the first place.

  6. African American Archives had Dean Edwards as Don Cheadle who saluted Tracy Morgan as Lucious Claymont for being the very first black person to yell at the screen during a horror movie while treating it as a major accomplishment to be remembered during Black History Month.

  7. Colonel Angus was a period piece of a sketch that was just one long play on word based on the sound of the Colonel’s name when said with a Southern accent.

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Maya Rudolph dropped in as Christina Aguilera to ramble on about, missing the deadline to have her album considered for that year’s Grammy Awards, only in her own singing language that was impossible to be understood. The real Steve Martin also stopped by for no reason at all, other than to kill some dead air time. The real Will Ferrell also made a surprise return to announce that he’s now living on a farm in the middle of nowhere with his new wife Britney Spears who also dropped in for a surprise visit.  

  9. Foo Fighters then took to the stage to perform All My Life.

  10. Since Will Ferrell was there, he and Rachel Dratch revised their Love-Ahs characters to be creepy romantic with each other while, once again, Christopher Walken out creeped them both.

  11. Foo Fighters then returned to the stage to perform Times Like These (One-Way Motorway) with Jim Carrey playing air guitar with his leg.

  12. The Rialto Grande then return for another installment with Chris Kattan as a Los Vegas lounge comedian who feuds with his hard of hearing drummer Fred Armisen who’s constantly late with his rim shot. This week, Kattan interviewed fellow lounge comic, Christopher Walken who was just as bad if not worse of a lounge-based stand-up comedian.

  13. Finally, Christopher Walken closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E12... HOST: JENNIFER GARNER... DATE: FEBRUARY 15, 2003

SNL: S28E12... HOST: JENNIFER GARNER... DATE: FEBRUARY 15, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From The President Of The United States where Chris Parnell as George W. Bush checked in with America to share that we were giving up on disarming Iraq because he and his administration simply lost interest. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Jennifer Garner then officially opened the show with a monolog about the difference between working on SNL vs working on Alias only to be interrupted by every male member of the cast who all offered our host a Valentine’s Day gift in their effort to hit on our host, leading her to sing My Funny Valentine before throwing to the first non-opening sketch of the night.

  3.  Clappin' was a bit of a parody of Stomp and River Dance only this new dance trend was made up of nothing but clapping which seemed to blow the audience away.

  4. When The Lights Come Up had Jimmy Fallon and Jennifer Garner on a date, with the joke being that our Jennifer Garner looked like her beautiful-self until last call came and they turn on the light and Garner’s character looked like Fred Armisen in the light. The sketch ended with Jimmy Fallon pounding enough booze until he saw Garner as Garner whether the light was bright or dim.

  5. Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch then gave us another installment of their high school produced morning talk show called Wake Up Wakefield where this time Rachel Dratch’s Sheldon character got a surprise at the after school Valentine’s dance when a brace-faced Jennifer Garner admitted to being his secret admirer.

  6. Saddam calls Osama had Horatio Sanz as Saddam and Jimmy Fallon as Osama who well for Saddam prank phone call that led to friendly bickering between the two about comparing about who has it worse after being targeted by America. Mainly Saddam just wanted Osama to stop talking about him on his tape. It was also pretty fun because it didn’t feel scripted at all and instead felt like it was just Jimmy and Horatio having fun with the characters.

  7. Invitation To Love had Jennifer Gardner as the female lead in a movie where she struggled to get through a romantic scene because her fictional love-interest, Chris Kattan was too obviously gay.

  8. Siamese Twins had Jimmy Fallon and Chris Kattan as two roommates out on a date with Jennifer Garner and Rachel Dratch as conjoined twins and the two fought over who got to talk to the Garner half of the singular duo, especially since Rachel Dratch had a baby’s arm growing out of her head.

  9. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Jeff Richards dropped by as Burt Bacharach in order to comment on Iraq through Bacharach-style rhymes. Tracy Morgan also stopped by to share his gripe about Black History Month, mainly how it was not enough which led him to start demanding an all-out race war, only to be cut off due to a technical difficulty. Chris Parnell then wrapped thing up with a secret agent rap in his effort to impress Jennifer Garner, which I forgot was a reoccurring joke with Parnell.

  10. Beck then took to the stage to perform Lost Cause. 

  11. Michael Jackson In A Tree had Rachel Dratch as Liz Taylor try to talk Amy Poehler as Michael Jackson out of his special tree by telling him that people were starting to think he was strange. This led to a bizarre conversation between the two wackos until eventually, Jennifer Garner as Lisa Marie Presley join in on the weird conversation. Soon after Lisa Marie left, a UFO landed that was filled with Michael Jackson looking aliens who offered to take him home.

  12. Beck then returned to the stage to perform Guess I'm Doin' Fine. 

  13. Wal-Mart Greeters had Jennifer Garner and Amy Poehler as two Wal-Mart greeters who scared the customers away with their description of the store's size, while they offered double-sided maps to help these customers find even the most common of products. The biggest contributing factor to the fear was how scared the greeters were themselves.

  14. Jack Handey then shared another chapter of My Big Thick Novel where this time our hero explained his research and how when he looked through his microscope all that he found was a bunch of dead cells.

  15. Finally, Jennifer Garner closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E11... HOST: MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY... DATE: FEBRUARY 8, 2003

SNL: S28E11... HOST: MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY... DATE: FEBRUARY 8, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody C-Span coverage of a U.N. Security Session where U.N. delegate planned the lunch during a session with Darrell Hammond as Colin Powell while he tried to push for the unjust invasion of Iraq and pushing the weapons of mass destruction lie. The delegates were more concerned about maxing out their U.N. money allowances over anything close to important. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Matthew McConaughey then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he used to love SNL in the seventies when he was a sixteen-year-old long-haired stoner and how his father felt about his lifestyle. This eventually sent our host backstage to find a photo of him from this era only once he got to his dressing room it was filled with smoke and cast member who were higher than hell. McConaughey then closed the door and we here a couple of bong sounds before he returned to the main stage with a puff of smoke in his mouth but no picture.

  3. Blind Date had Matthew McConaughey and Rachel Dratch on a blind date where we learned McConaughey was horrible when it came to guessing his date’s stats like thinking she was forty-eight when she was actually playing a thirty-four-year-old woman. After getting the age way off he then went on to embarrass himself even further by trying to guess her weight before attempting to draw and “accurate” portrait.

  4. This was followed by a repeat of the Nutri-Quick commercial from earlier in the season which was a fake ad for a suppository diet supplement.

  5. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then gave us another installment of their dorm room webcast, Jarret's Room where this time they interviewed McConaughey as a thirty-three-year-old college sophomore revision of his Dazed And Confused character, Wooderson, who loved the fact that he kept getting older while the girls all stayed the same age, which almost seemed to be his default character throughout the night.  

  6. We then went to an Anti-War Rally where McConaughey played a protester who struggled to assemble the unorganized crowd to join in on his chant against the war because everyone else in the audience was too hung up on their own agenda to create a singular voice.

  7. The Dixie Chicks then took to the show to perform Traveling Soldier. 

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Tracy Morgan dropped by as Joe Jackson in order to comment on how his son Michael was raising his own kids as if he had room to make judgments. Will Forte and Fred Armisen then introduced Patrick and Gunther Kelly who were a pair of accountant /singers that gave us a song that was written to help people with their taxes.

  9. Clubb Traxx was a Euro MTV style show that had McConaughey on as a Eurotrash singer named Chrome who sang songs for a collection of anti-war, teen, music enthusiasts.

  10. Office Stories took place in a stuffy workspace and had McConaughey as a weekend warrior of an employee who used Chris Kattan as a prop to illustrate one of his crazy bar-based stories.

  11. Second Time Around was a parody of a talk show with Maya Rudolph as the host who interviews McConaughey as a despicable pyramid scheme promoter, only as a white wanna-be Rastafarian he had a whole new, misguided interpretation of what a pyramid scheme actually means.

  12. The Dixie Chicks then returned to the stage to perform Sin Wagon.

  13. We then got a fake ad for Matthew McConaughey's Red Hot Texas Chili which was promoted as a chili recipe that celebrates the gas it induces instead of treating it like a curse.

  14. Finally, Matthew McConaughey closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E10... HOST: RAY LIOTTA... DATE: JANUARY 18, 2003

SNL: S28E10... HOST: RAY LIOTTA... DATE: JANUARY 18, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a CNN News Alert where Darrell Hammond as Donald Rumsfeld sang These Boots Are Made For Walking after carrying on the lie that there were weapons of mass destruction and getting excited when he was asked if this could potentially lead to war. With this being the opening sketch, the song eventually ended with the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Ray Liotta then officially opened the show with a monolog about how excited he was to host and how much fun he had hanging out with the cast throughout the week in a very manic tone as if he were the life of the party. He said, in particular, he loved Jimmy Fallon who then joined our host on the stage only to act scared as if Liotta was too wild to get too close to as if he’s the time that would force you into “having fun” when actually you’re terrified. This led Liotta to sing the song, Getting To Know You for the audience, Jimmy Fallon, and the rest of the cast.

  3. This was followed by a parody of Live With Regis And Kelly where Ray Liotta portrayed David Caruso as the show guest who struggled to focus on Darrell Hammond as Regis’s questions about how he handled working with difficult co-stars after a recent firing that Regis kept suggesting was Caruso’s fault, hinting that he wished he could do the same with Kelly Ripa. Meanwhile, Amy Poehler as Kelly Ripa gave birth while live on the air to wrap up the segment.

  4. We then got introduced to The Fun Friends Club which was a Barney-like kid’s TV show with actual child actors along with Ray Liotta as the dinosaur and Rachel Dratch as one of the kids who recently started puberty and her new big boobs became a liability to the show with Liotta acting as a total creep whenever the dinosaur mask would come off.

  5. The Falconer then returned for another installment where this time the bird celebrated its birthday while seeking help for The Falconer who was stuck under a log. As usual, the falcon eventually returned with a saw so that The Falconer could saw his leg off to escape rather than simply cut the log.

  6. Global Century Investments had Chris Parnell as an investment expert who offered straight talk about investment queries, mainly by telling everyone to chill, since he used insider trading and he himself felt safe either way.

  7. This was followed by a parody of Hannibal where Ray Liotta played his character from the film in order to make fun of the scene where Darrell Hammond as Hannibal Lecter forced Liotta to eat his own brain. Though Hannibal used this self-cannibalism as a technic to strike fear into his play toys, Liotta liked the meal so much that he suggested teaming up and marketing brains to eat as the next popular dish when hosting parties. We then broke from the movie parody to show the success of the trendy new Lecter Restaurant where all of the patrons ate straight from their own head with celebrity brains acting as gourmet hors d’oeuvre treats.

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Will Forte’s Tim Calhoun/dry politician character announced that he was running for president in 2004. Tracy Morgan also stopped by to share his views on affirmative action by saying how he wanted more on SNL since he is barely on the show anymore, blaming affirmative action even though Tina and Jimmy hinted that he didn’t write any sketches for himself that week and it’s not that he was ignored.

  9. The Donnas then took to the stage to perform Take It Off. 

  10. The Hangman had Ray Liotta as the titular Hangman who went to the prison cell to grab Will Forte as the next person to be hung for stealing a neighbor's cattle. After some wheeling and dealing Liotta let Forte go for the crime in trade for some sex with his grandma, as played by Rachel Dratch, with the joke being that at first when the deal was thrown out Forte thought he was the one who would have to put out, and then assumed he meant his wife only to end up shocked when he learned of the grandma aspect. The same process happened when Amy Poehler, the wife, learned of the deal and was offended when she wasn’t the woman in the deal. The sketch finally ended with us learning the Liotta finished the second the grandma unzipped his pants.

  11. Top O' The Morning To You then returned for another installment of Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers as two, pub drinking, Irish talk show host who first complained about the movie Gangs Of New York and how the movie dealt with the Irish. After that, they praised the film for acknowledging the Irish which then led to an unrelated interview with Ray Liotta as a guy addicted to the popular barroom gold video game so much that he developed one massive arm from the way the game is played and then wanted to join the two hosts for a chorus of a drunken Irish song after he lost his game.

  12. The Donnas then returned to the stage to perform Who Invited You. 

  13. The Rialto Grande had Ray Liotta and Chris Kattan as Buddy Mills and Little Tommy Wallace who yuk it up in Las Vegas while putting on a lounge show with Fred Armisen as a geriatric drummer who couldn’t hear all that well and was extremely delayed with his rim shots.

  14. Finally, Ray Liotta closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E09... HOST: JEFF GORDON... DATE: JANUARY 11, 2003

SNL: S28E09... HOST: JEFF GORDON... DATE: JANUARY 11, 2003

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From Kim Jong Il where Horatio Sanz as Kim Jong Il warned America to leave him alone by sharing the darkness that’s in his head that makes him unafraid to fight back against the military giant after George W. Bush linked North Korea in with the Axis Of Evil. Of course, with this being the opening sketch this eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Jeff Gordon then officially opened the show with a monolog about a day in the life of a NASCAR driver only to be interrupted by Chris Parnell and Rachel Dratch as two wanna-be NASCAR fans who were being extra white trash and rowdy in an effort to win over our host. Though the effort was there, Jeff Gordon caught on right away that they were not true fans because they were playing off of too many redneck clichés claiming true fans are actually that rowdy at all. He turned out to be correct as it was then revealed that Parnell and Dratch were actually an upper crust couple who got their hands on SNL tickets and felt it would be more fun to pretend that they were familiar with the host’s work which was why they put on this trashy performance during the show’s intro.

  3. We then got a parody ad for a reality show from the time called Average Joe which was a dating show where wealth people would act average in order to meet a mate while hiding their wealth from all of their female admirers. Seth Meyers played a gay character named Joe Hetero who tried to hide his homosexual tendencies from his female admirers.

  4. We then got another installment of Brian Fellow's Safari Planet where this time Tracy Morgan as Fellows was too hung up on thinking that snakes actually had arms hidden behind their backs to be able to focus on his guests during their interviews.

  5. This was followed by a parody of Access Hollywood for parody coverage of Maya Rudolph as Diani Ross from an incident when she was caught driving under the influence. In the world of the sketch Diani Ross was such a drunken diva that she could not grasp the severity of her crime and kept acting like the field sobriety test was a performance.

  6. Joe Caucasian was a follow up to Joe Hetero where this time Tracy Morgan was the Joe in question who was hiding the fact that he was actually black from all of his female admirers.

  7. We then went to a Career Day where Seth Meyers played a carpet salesman who struggled to compete with Jeff Gordon, who played a fighter pilot when trying to win over the kids.

  8. This was followed by a parody of a show called Star Dates that match regular people up with celebrities for a date. For this fake episode, we followed Rachel Dratch who was paired up with Jeff Richards as an extra rowdy Gary Busey who rambled on throughout the entire date in that signature Gary Busey way. At one point Busey threatened Jeff Gordon who was playing a waiter who was taking orders for the date, only to get his ass kicked with ease by our host/food server.

  9. We then got a third installment of the Average Joe series of parodies that’s been playing out throughout the night. This time we met Joe Not-A-Rapist as played by Chris Parnell who was hiding his dark sexual craving from all of his female admirers.

  10. Avril Lavigne then took to the stage to perform I'm With You. 

  11. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Chris Kattan and Amy Poehler played two founding members of the Raelian cult who claimed to have been the first to successfully clone a human baby. They then introduced up to Rachel Dratch as the baby Eve who drooled uncontrollably and had an arm growing out of the side of her head. Jimmy Fallon praised himself for being nominated for a Grammy Award and Chris Kattan as Gay Hitler finished things up by claiming that he has now gone Hollywood to Tina and Jimmy.

  12. Gary's Fish Tanks had Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz as two slacker fish tank repairmen who kept cracking up even though their repair techniques kept killing the otherwise healthy fish in the tanks they were there to repair.

  13. This was followed by a parody of Charlie Rose where Jeff Richards as Rose kept confusing Darrell Hammond as Donald Rumsfeld for Dick Cheney and other villainous figures both fictional and real based on his aggressive attitude.

  14. We then got the fourth installment of the Joe segment that’s been running throughout the night where this time Tina Fey portrayed Joe Dude who was hiding her gender from all of her female admirers.

  15. Avril Lavigne then returned to the stage to perform Complicated. 

  16. The Terrye Funck Show was a parody of a public access show with Chris Parnell as the host and Jeff Gordon as his cousin/cameraman who shot their show from Parnell’s mother’s basement.

  17. We then got a fake ad for a Stripper Pole that claimed an in-house stripper pole can liven up any dull party, complete with before and after examples.

  18. Finally, Jeff Gordon closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E08... HOST: AL GORE... DATE: DECEMBER 14, 2002

SNL: S28E08... HOST: AL GORE... DATE: DECEMBER 14, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Al Gore and his wife Making Out Backstage where Lorne Michaels and the current collection of Not Ready For Prime Time Players couldn’t break up the loving couple from their lip lock as a response to a robotic kiss between the two that was the butt of many late night jokes around this time. The sketch ended with Tracy Morgan tasing the Ex-Vice President which freed up his wife to announce, “Live from New York…”

  2. Al Gore then officially opened the show with a monolog where he joked about some of his flaws that came out while he was campaigning and then reflected back to 2000’s election and how he came up with his running mate. This then led to a The Bachelor-style reenactment showing how it all played out with jokes about the other potential running mates giving Bachelor-like interviews  Gore and Chris Parnell as Joe Lieberman together in a hot tub.

  3. This was followed by a parody of Hardball where as always, Darrell Hammond as Chris Matthews berated his guest during an interview about current events. This time Al Gore portrayed Trent Lott in order to make more racist statements to follow a controversial positive stance on segregation that he had and was recently making the news. Tracy Morgan was also there as Al Sharpton to chime in from time to time to berate Trent Lott as well.

  4. The crazy Spanish political talk show Fiesta Politica then returned where this time Al Gore was the guest and bored the hell out of Maya Rudolph as the host with his talk about the environment while she was obviously just waiting for who the right sign to interrupt with some sort of Telemundo style chaos which made it extremely hard for Gore to make his boring point..

  5. We then went behind-the-scenes to the set of The West Wing where Al Gore could not be torn from the Oval Office TV set during a personal tour of the studio from the show’s President Martin Sheen along with the rest of the real members of the cast.

  6. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then brought us another installment of their dorm room based webcast called Jarret's Room where this time the two interviewed Gore as a professor who warned Horatio’s Goby character of the dangers of slacking off throughout school. This warning was then contradicted by a special visit by tonight’s musical guest Phish who proved that you could be a successful stoner.

  7. Phish then took to the stage to perform 46 Days. 

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph introduced two Hooker characters named Coast Guard Carrie and Vidalis in order to discuss their trade following the success of a documentary about the Nevada brothel The Moonlight Bunny Ranch.

  9. We then got a special installment of Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley where Al Franken revised his Stuart Smalley character in order to help a denial-ridden Gore to open up and accept his electoral loss with the help of Tipper, as if it were an intervention.

  10. This was followed by a parody of Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory where Al Gore played Wonka’s accountant who was relieved to see that the wasteful Wonka, as played by Jeff Richard, was handing over the business to Charlie, thinking even a kid would be better with his money than Willy was.

  11. TV Funhouse then gave us a parody of Charlie Brown where he and his gang used their hand waving cartoon powers to make over the town and improve the lives of everyone around like how they simply waved their hands around Charlie’s pathetic Christmas tree in order to turn it into an amazing tree to be displayed with pride.

  12. Phish then returned to the stage to perform Chalkdust Torture. 

  13. Last Call was another singing sketch between Tracy Morgan and Maya Rudolph that I love. This time the two played a couple of drunks who attempted to make their last call request through a song.

  14. Season’s Greetings From "Saturday Night Live" brought back Horatio Sanz and the I Wish It Were Christmas Today band who once again sang the same old ditty only this time while dressed up as popular toys.

  15. Finally, Al Gore closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E07... HOST: ROBERT DE NIRO... DATE: DECEMBER 7, 2002

SNL: S28E07... HOST: ROBERT DE NIRO... DATE: DECEMBER 7, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with C-SPAN coverage of a Homeland Security Briefing where this time Darrell Hammond as Tom Ridge introduced Robert De Niro as Craig Fenson who announced that they were boosting the terrorist threat level to magenta due to the lewdly-named terrorist suspects like, M’Balz Es-Hari (My Balls Is Harry) and Hous Bin Pharteen (Whose Been Farting) and more obvious fake names given by teens who kept pranking the information hotline. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, this all built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Robert De Niro then officially opened the show with a monolog where he compared his experience doing drama vs doing comedy since this was around the time that he started to take on more comedic roles. Though De Niro might be a great actor, when it comes to him being himself, the man is a bit of a bore because though I was listening carefully to expand on this segment’s description, I just didn’t find a joke.

  3. This was followed by a fake ad for the McDonald's Big N' Tasty Burger that provided a pharmaceutical ad style warning for the clueless fatties who may think this is actually a healthy meal. Apparently, this was inspired by a class action suit against the fast food chain at the time by people who were blaming them for being overweight.

  4. Thomas Jefferson Meets Sally Hemings had De Niro as the historical President in order to confirm the rumors that he was a fan of women slave by showing a meet-cute moment with Maya Rudolph who played one of his female slaves, while also including a few jokes about rumors of De Niro’s own interest in African American mates.

  5. We then went to a Peter Pan Rehearsal with Robert De Niro in the titular role as a veteran actor playing the part which led to a lot of conflict with the cast when he kept acting like an angry old timer who’s seen and done it all and not the never aging little kid like he was supposed to.

  6. Robert De Niro then played an actor who was stuck playing a mall Santa Claus due to struggling times and couldn’t stop arguing with Maya Rudolph who played elf and was also his soon-to-be wife who kept rolling her eyes and talking back whenever his statements to the kids contradicted the actions she experienced during their relationship.

  7. U.N. Weapons Inspectors then made light of the lie that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction by having Robert De Niro and Jimmy Fallon play two ineffective inspectors because they were so gullible and believed every lie that was said to them while being given their tour.

  8. Tracy Morgan then introduced a character named Judge Horace in a parody of a daytime court shoe ala People’s Court. The case in question for this installment was between Robert De Niro and Horatio Sanz as his ex. De Niro wanted to be reimbursed for the gym membership that he was paying for while they were together since Horatio’s character still ended up getting fat.

  9. Norah Jones then took to the stage to perform Don't Know Why. 

  10. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Maya Rudolph and Tracy Morgan then portrayed Whitney and Bobby in order to chime in on current events while making jokes that referenced the craziness we discovered during their reality show. Chris Kattan and Rachel Dratch then played an elderly couple named Marty and Sylvia Feinblatt who shared their tale from an ill-fated Disney cruise they were on that was making news at the time.

  11. A Very Versace Chanukah brought back Maya Rudolph as Donatella Versace in order to celebrate the holiday with the Osbourne family as her guests before winding her special with Robert De Niro as Roy who was really upset because of a fight that he had with Siegfried. We then got a special treat when the real Harvey Keitel as Siegfried.

  12. Robert De Niro then played a Used Car Salesman who used extreme violence in order to make a really harder sells.

  13. Bedtime Story had Robert De Niro as a dad tell a horrifying bedtime story to his some Chris Kattan where he mainly vented about Kattan’s mom, AKA De Niro’s ex-wife in a not so fictional tale where he blamed her for killing Kattan’s favorite nut stealing squirrel.

  14. Norah Jones then returned to the stage to perform Come Away With Me. 

  15. Channel 5 Late Night Movie was a parody of the campy late night movies that would often air on independent TV stations. In this film, Robert De Niro played a general who had nothing but bad ideas on how to stop a radioactive bear that was terrorizing the town.

  16. Finally, Robert De Niro closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E06... HOST: BRITTANY MURPHY... DATE: NOVEMBER 16, 2002

SNL: S28E06... HOST: BRITTANY MURPHY... DATE: NOVEMBER 16, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with Adam Sandler singing his third rendition of the Chanukah Song with the help from special guests, the Dreidels which was a choir made up of a collection of kids and Rob Schneider who all sang background. As always, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Brittany Murphy then officially opened the show with a monolog where she shared an SNL secret that the West Coast cast members and the East Coast cast members have been in a comedy war for years which then built up to an 8 Mile-style rap battle between the two squads. 

  3. We then got a parody of Welcome Back, Kotter tilted Welcome Back, Potter which of course was a Harry Potter-themed reboot of the early ‘80s sit-com only with Harry Potter old enough to play the Kotter role.

  4. The Leather Man had Jimmy Fallon as the titular leather-clad man who ran leather shop and attempted to talk Brittany Murphy into a pair of leather snakeskin pants, while Horatio Sanz played Jimmy’s assistant named Choo-Choo who was completely ignored after getting bitten in the penis by a random rattlesnake that got mixed in with the latest leather deliver. Of course, this led to the classic joke about sucking the poison out where Jimmy opted to let Choo-Choo die rather than help to survive by using his mouth.

  5. This was followed by a parody of Donahue where Darrell Hammond as Donahue shared that he was distraught that no one was watching his show anymore, while Jeff Richards as Michael Moore and Maya Rudolph as Barbra Streisand attempted to explain the low ratings.

  6. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz then gave us another installment of the dorm room webcast called Jarret's Room where this time they interviewed an easily excited Brittany Murphy who was there to share how she wanted to protest the killing of turkeys for Thanksgiving Day only she was unable to fully focus because she was too hopped up on energy drinks.

  7. Burrell's Statement had Seth Meyers as the late Princess Di’s butler who shared a statement about a recent scandal where he was caught having a gay affair with an Australian antiques dealer only he struggled to hide his gay tendencies in the process. The joke was more that he was trying to pull off this lie in front of his wife and not really the fact that he was gay.

  8. Tennis Talk With Time Traveling Scott Joplin gave us Maya Rudolph as a time-traveling Scott Joplin who went back in time just to hassle Brittany Murphy as Anna Kournikova about her looks to skill ration during an interview with her, Tracy Morgan and Dean Edwards as Venus and Serena William where the joke was the Williams girls were definitely known for their skills over their looks which may be a harsher joke than the Kournikova-based ribbing even though it wasn’t treated that way at all.

  9. Nelly and Kelly Rowland then took to the stage to perform Dilemma.

  10. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Jeff Richards returned as Drunk Girl and was again she was too drunk to get to the reason that she was on the news in the first place which was how a new study showed that wine actually helps with Alzheimer’s. Maya Rudolph and Chris Kattan then portrayed Liza Minelli and David Gest to drop in and explain why their reality show was canceled.

  11. We then got another installment of Astronaut Jones which was still pretty much the same as the last few where Tracy Morgan just sang his theme song, hit on the host as a big boobed alien and then sang the closing song, only this time musical guest, Nelly and special guest Garrett Morris joined in on the fun.

  12. TV Funhouse then gave us a new segment called the Religetable which was a parody of the Veggie-Tales that shared the darker sides of the history of modern religions. There was also a new interruption that showed how even modern-day practitioners still aren’t fully safe since is covered the story of a veggie priest who was charged with molesting young plants.

  13. Jack Handey then shared another chapter of My Big Thick Novel where this time, our hero shared a tale of when he slipped out of arm’s length while involved in a square dance routine.

  14. Nelly took to the stage alone to perform Hot In Herre.

  15. This was followed by another installment of The Girl With No Gaydar where this Rachel Dratch as the titular girl failed to realize that sculptor Brittany Murphy was a lesbian even though she was blatantly hitting on her.

  16. Finally, Brittany Murphy closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E05... HOST: NIA VARDALOS... DATE: NOVEMBER 9, 2002

SNL: S28E05... HOST: NIA VARDALOS... DATE: NOVEMBER 9, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From The President Of The United States where once again, Chris Parnell played George W. Bush in order to use fuzzy math to predict the potential Republican wins in the upcoming midterm elections. Of course, since this was the opening sketch, this all led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Nia Vardalos then officially opened the show with a monolog about her Greek heritage while plugging My Big Fat Greek Wedding only to be interrupted by Tina Fey who shared that she was Greek as well and then introduced our host to her Greek “family” who were watching from the audience and all brought food as a gift.

  3. This was followed by a repeat of the Swiffer Sleepers ad from earlier in the season which was a pajama for kids made out of Swiffer pad materials that allowed babies to clean up while they crawl around.

  4. Jimmy Fallon and Chris Parnell’s ginger headed, Bloater Brothers characters then returned to giggle while trying to hit on Nia Vardalos while at a sushi bar with many jokes based on the Japanese language. As always they were all talk until the second she flirted back which instantly led the pair of brothers to freak out and back down.

  5. We then got a parody of CBS Special Report with Darrell Hammond as Dan Rather who shared a story about how nerds had taken over the cool kids during a local high school student elections as a backlash against Bush.

  6. La Femme Day Spa had Nia Vardalos as a spa matron who fought with Rachel Dratch’s stubborn hairs during a hot waxing session.

  7. Eve then took to the stage to perform Gangsta Lovin'. 

  8. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Jimmy and Tina demonstrated their new sonar security system and Seth Meyers stopped by in order to share the conversations that he planned to have if he was to actually go to his ten-year high school reunion.

  9. We then got another offensive installment of The Ferey Muhtar Talk Show which mainly made fun of Middle Eastern accents and clichés where this time Nia Vardalos played a Turkish actress/guest who attempted to discuss her calendar and night out dancing in the same over-the-top accent as the rest of the people on the set. The only saving grace to the sketch was how with it being the second round there was a little more focus on developing the characters but it was still pretty much accent and stereotype based.

  10. This was followed by the debut of The Falconer which is the classic Will Forte series of sketched where he plays a falconer known as The Falconer who would always save the day with the help of his falcon.

  11. We then got a parody of a Pier 1 Imports ad where Nia Vardalos played former Pier 1 spokeswoman, Kristie Alley who kidnaped Rachel Dratch as a businesswoman in a desperate attempt keep doing her spokeswoman job even though she lost it.

  12. Dropping The L.B.'s With Missy E. was a parody workout tape with Tracy Morgan as Missy Elliot who shared her workout routine that led her to lose some weight herself.

  13. Eve then returned to the stage to perform Satisfaction.

  14. Glenda Goodwin: Attorney-at-Law had Maya Rudolph as an ambulance chasing attorney who promised to sue even against the most unbelievable of circumstances like being attacked by werewolves.

  15. Community Accents was a public access talk show with Horatio Sanz as a character named Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez who was easily distracted while talking to his panel of guests by constantly chiming in with random jokes. Between Horatio’s character’s name and the name of the fictional show, I was expecting much more accent based humor that just wasn’t there. I even had to go back twice to make sure I didn’t read the fictional show’s title wrong. By the end of the sketch, the fictional guests seemed just as confused.

  16. Finally, Nia Vardalos closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E04... HOST: ERIC MCCORMACK... DATE: NOVEMBER 2, 2002

SNL: S28E04... HOST: ERIC MCCORMACK... DATE: NOVEMBER 2, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with a collection of parody political ads where Darrell Hammond as Rudolph Giuliani shared his campaign endorsement for this year’s mid-term elections. The main joke was that he knocked out over seventy endorsements in a row pitching both the candidate and their increasingly wacky platforms whether or not he actually knew who they were just as long as his handlers told him to do so. Of course with this being the opening sketch, it all built up to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Eric McCormack then officially opened the show with a monolog about his role on Will And Grace and how in the real world he not actually gay which sparked much confusion amongst effeminate men in the audience who hit on our host while claiming that they are not gay either. Chris Kattan then stepped in to save the day by sharing how people often mistake him for being gay as well which led McCormack to sing a flamboyant musical number in an effort to prove them all wrong.

  3. This was followed by a parody of The Bachelor where Amy Poehler as her one-legged character played a contestant who was vying for Eric McCormack, as The Bachelor’s heart.

  4. Game Night was a sketch that had Rachel Dratch go on a rampage when she lost a game of Celebrity which was a simple game where everyone involved wrote down names of famous people and placed the names in a bowl and couples would pair up to guess these names based on their partner's clues.

  5. We then got another fake political ad, this one was for Talarico For Congress where Chris Kattan as Andy Talarico advised voters to call Rachel Dratch as Ellen Frenkel in order to tell her to stop frightening senior citizens after slinging some mud.

  6. We then got a rebuttal of the last political ad, this one was called Frankel For Congress where Rachel Dratch as Frankel told voters to call Chris Kattan as Talarico in order to tell him to stop asking voters to call her in and stop asking her about her issues with senior citizen when they should be asking him about his voting records that actually contradicted his claims.

  7. This was followed by a parody of American Morning where the morning news took a back seat to Tina Fey as Paula Zahn when she started to hint at that the news of the day was that she was falling in love with her co-host, Brent Dunlop, as played by Eric McCormack.

  8. We then got another fake political ad called Fairness In Attack Ads where someone uninvolved with the election urged voters to call Rachel Dratch as Frankel instead of Chris Kattan as Talarico with another convoluted list of demands.

  9. Jay-Z and Lenny Kravitz then took to the stage to perform Guns And Roses.

  10. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Horatio Sanz returned as Gene Shalit in order to share more horrible puns only this time while sharing a couple of negative movie reviews. Jeff Richards also played a member of Jay-Z’s entourage named Baby K who was a tiny baby that danced and rapped on the news desk.

  11. The Bullhorn was a sketch that took place in a courtroom where Will Forte played an angry judge who couldn’t handle when Eric McCormack, as the defendant, kept interrupting the trial by repeatedly hitting the siren button on a bullhorn that for some reason they wouldn’t just take away.

  12. We then got what started out to look like a parody ad for Verizon only to discover it was yet another in the series of political ads where this time Chris Kattan as Talarico found out that his phone was disconnected from all of the calls in response to the other commercials.

  13. Z105 had Eric McCormack as a Councilman who dropped a morning radio talk show in order to promote his campaign only to find that he couldn’t get in a word against Jimmy Fallon’s morning zoo-style DJ who had a multitude of fictional radio show characters who ate up all of the time.

  14. We then got a fake ad for John Hancock Life Insurance which was an insurance company that specialized in the most extreme worst-case scenarios.

  15. Jay-Z then switched it up and took to the stage with Beyoncé to perform ‘03, Bonnie And Clyde.

  16. This was followed by a parody of Jackass: The Musical with Eric McCormack as Johnny Knoxville and several members of the cast making up the rest of the Jackass crew in order to perform a musical version of their dumb-stunt-based show.

  17. Reggie's Stories had Tracy Morgan as the titular Reggie who kept trying to share his tall-tales only to have Maya Rudolph as a barmaid who corrected each and every one of his exaggerations in another installment of a series of sketches that may not be connected but all have the same jazzy vibe.

  18. Finally, Eric McCormack closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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SNL: S28E03... HOST: JOHN MCCAIN... DATE: OCTOBER 19, 2002

SNL: S28E03... HOST: JOHN MCCAIN... DATE: OCTOBER 19, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with parody coverage of Decision 2002: Iraqi State News where we saw Iraqi-base reporting on the Iraqi Presidential Election that had all of the reporters, as well as Horatio Sanz as Saddam Hussein, keep openly hinting how Saddam was responsible for setting up his own landslide win. Of course, with this being the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. John McCain then officially opened the show with a monolog where he announced that he was the first sitting Senator to host the show. He then went on to tell a dad joke about one of the other Senators, only to have Fred Armisen’s Fericito character interrupt in order to teach the Senator how to tell successful jokes by using a funny catchphrase in order to emphasize the joke. He then went on to tell a few jokes of his own ending each example with a rim shot followed by his catchphrase, “Ay, dios mio.”

  3. This was followed by another parody of Hardball where this time, Darrell Hammond as Chris Matthews hosted a debate on the safety measures against terrorism between John McCain as John Ashcroft and Rachel Dratch as Rebecca DeWitt while Tracy Morgan chimed in with nonsense while portraying Harry Belafonte.

  4. To Love, Honor, And Stalk: The Gillian Woodward Story was a parody of a The Lifetime Network movie-of-the-week that misconstrued the story of Amy Poehler as Gillian Woodward by misrepresenting her close-talking husband, John McCain, as a dangerous stalker to be overcome.

  5. Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch then gave us another installment of their high school produced morning talk show Wake Up Wakefield where this time they interviewed John McCain as their hippie teacher who also showed them how to carve a Steely Dan-themed jack-o-lantern for Halloween.

  6. TV Funhouse then gave us another installment of The Ambiguously Gay Duo where the bigheaded villain attempted to subdue our superheroes by playing into their gayness and getting them involved in a décor change.

  7. This was followed by a parody of Meet The Press where Darrell Hammond as Tim Russert wouldn’t stop asking John McCain, as himself, if he'd be running for president in 2004.

  8. The White Stripes then took to the stage to perform Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground.

  9. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Will Forte his dry talking character, Tim Calhoun who utilized Equal Time Rule in order to share his mundane political views while asking for votes in an upcoming local election.

  10. This was followed by a fake ad for McCain Sings Streisand which was an album that John McCain put out in order to get back at Barbra Streisand for sticking her nose into the world of politics and constantly sharing her views.

  11. Jack Handey then shared another chapter of My Big Thick Novel where this time our hero recalled a crisis of conscience during dinner with a bunch of cannibals.

  12. Top O' The Morning was a talk show hosted by Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers as two Irish pub drinkers who have a “heard all the jokes, thank you very much, so save them,” attitude as they interview John McCain as Frank McCourt.

  13. The White Stripes then returned to the stage to perform We're Going To Be Friends.

  14. Finally, John McCain closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.

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SNL: S28E02... HOST: SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR... DATE: OCTOBER 12, 2002

SNL: S28E02... HOST: SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR... DATE: OCTOBER 12, 2002

The Wicker Breakdown:

  1. This week's show started with A Message From The President Of The United States where Chris Parnell took over the George W. Bush impersonation in order to warn Saddam Hussein of his intentions to track him down no matter where he hides with Darrell Hammond as Dick Cheney by his side chiming in from time to time with added threats to Saddam and encouragements to our dim-witted President. Of course, since this was the opening sketch, it eventually led to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”

  2. Sarah Michelle Gellar then officially opened the show with a monolog about her recent marriage to Freddy Prinze Jr. and the release of her new music album. She then went on to play a tune only to be interrupted by Chris Kattan, Rachel Dratch, and Amy Poehler as a family of vampires in the audience who interrupted our host when they stood to leave after getting offended by a Buffy The Vampire Slayer inspired joke that Gellar casually made while introducing the song that she never got to sing.

  3. This was followed by a fake ad for Swiffer Sleepers which was a line of children’s pajamas made with a specially-designed dust-cloth material that cleaned up while the kids would play around on the ground.

  4. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Fred Armisen, and Amy Poehler then played a group of cops called The Be Safe Gang who dropped by a Junior High School to give kids horrible advice while they shared the dangers of drugs and alcohol, premarital sex and STD, and how the kids could use their bodies to protect themselves from violent crimes. The information being shared was so terrible that the kids would have been much better off if they were left to figure things out on their own.

  5. Musical Dentist had Chris Kattan as a dentist who kept getting swept away by a collection of romantic songs that would get him fantasizing about his hygienist, Sarah Michelle Gellar, while in the middle of a major dental procedure on Chris Parnell. After a quick make-out session that led to a dead Parnell, we learned that Chris Kattan was actually not a dentist but a doctor and this whole dentist thing was just a fantasy that he was having about Sarah Michelle Gellar as his nurse during surgery which also led to the death of Chris Parnell. Finally, the Inception of a sketch concluded with Chris Kattan as a cashier and all of this was in his head as he read a rag mag featuring Gellar as herself.

  6. We then got a fake ad for Trans American Airlines that played off of the fear of terrorism with the promise that, “Unlike other airlines, Trans America guarantees there will be racial profiling,” in order to keep the airs safe and sound.

  7. This was followed by a parody of the Corona ad campaign at the time where Jimmy Fallon played a drunk guy on a Caribbean beach where he accidentally threw his beer bottle instead of his cell phone when a work call caused it to buzz.

  8. We then went to the Middle East to witness a Saddam Hussein Briefing where Darrell Hammond played The Butcher Of Baghdad in order to outline his new strategy to hide from America with his cabinet that included the introduction of Chris Kattan and Horatio Sanz as two of his body doubles who were pretty much just there to be executed instead of him. The main joke set in when Horatio Sanz entered the scene and Saddam was offended because he felt this was a way for his cabinet to make fun of him for being fat, which then led to a parody of the, “What am I a clown,” scene from the movie Goodfellas.

  9. This was followed by the second installment of the parody Corona ad from earlier in the night, where once again, Jimmy Fallon played the same drunk and once again he threw his bottle of beer instead of his phone when another work call came in. Only this time he tried talking into the bottle before he threw it, thinking that he actually did grab the phone this go around.

  10. Faith Hill then took to the stage to perform Cry.

  11. Once again, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey gave us the news. This week, Seth Meyers introduced his impersonation of Steve, the annoying Dell kid in order to discuss teen depression while acting like a high energy, enthusiastic douche and share his super dark inner thoughts that contradicted his ever-present smile. Maya Rudolph and Sarah Michelle Gellar also stopped by as Ripple and DeLorean, better known as the Ramada sisters, who were the unglamorous version of the jet-setting Hilton sisters.

  12. This was followed by a parody of MTV’s Making The Video where Sarah Michelle Gellar played Christina Aguilera for a behind-the-scenes look at the making of her new Dirrty music video, where dirty meant dirty in every single way that the way the word dirty can be defined both literally and figuratively.

  13. Sarah Michelle Gellar then plays a spokeswoman in order to promote the DVD release of Arli$$ as a way to avoid any likelihood of embarrassing pants-wetting since there are zero laughs for women in this show. Right after the sketch, Tracy Morgan stopped our host on the way to her dressing room tried to engage her and musical guest, Faith Hill in a catfight in order to fulfill his fantasy. The two woman tried to rat Tracy out to Lorne Michaels only to have him help out with Tracy’s efforts as well.

  14. Faith Hill then returned to the stage to perform I'm Free.

  15. I Love My Man was a sketch that had Maya Rudolph as a sexy woman who knows just how her man, Tracy Morgan, feels about her because she takes care of her body. This was more of a parody of the jazz aesthetic in general, over referencing a specific show.

  16. This was followed by the third installment of the parody Corona ad that’s been running throughout the night where this time, Jimmy Fallon threw his beer bottle instead of his phone once again, only this time he hit and killed another beachgoer but he was too drunk to know.

  17. Blame Saddam was a bit of a propaganda sketch that highlighted how Saddam Hussein might not have been responsible for 9/11, but Americans still didn’t mind using it as a reason to come after him just the same.

  18. Sexual Harassment Seminar introduced a Chris Parnell character named Merv The Perv who disputed all of the information being provided while he hit on all of the women in attendance.

  19. Finally, Sarah Michelle Gellar closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

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