Tonight's special episode is "interrupting" James at 16 Marries Roman Polanski.
Gilda appears in the opening sketch answers questions that were written on cards by the audience. The first question is about what happens if they don't come up with a good opening sketch and the answer is to answer questions from the audience. The next couple questions are along those same lines with more answers that admitted the writers were just winging it this week. This didn't boost my confidence in this episode. She then reveals in one of her answers that the writers actually wrote these questions. Sure this means it's actually a scripted piece, but I still saw this as a lack of effort. The opening sketch ends with a question about the opening phrase which gets Gilda to announce, "Live from New York..."
O.J. Simpson then runs out to the stage, and he's dressed like he's a Conehead. He on to do a long monolog about his football career and how he achieved everything he set his mind on. This leads to a story of his acting career and how he ended up on the show. He speaks so fast during his performance that it's hard to take in all he's saying, especially when most of his talk has to do with sports which I couldn't care less about. There were a couple of moments where the band would randomly interrupt which would cause O.J. to build in anger. This was the only time in the entire episode where I envisioned a joke based on what he is now famous for.
The next sketch started a little confusing, with an Italian family bickering about being broke as they eat their spaghetti dinner. I had no idea where this was going until we cut to the bedroom where it's revealed that we're watching the parody Samurai Night Fever where the Samurai plays the Travolta character. We go from the room back to the meal where they reenact the, "Watch the hair," scene from Saturday Night Fever. This would have been fine if it ended right there but we then go back to the room where the Samurai meets O.J. who doesn't want to be black anymore, so they have him dressed like a white guy. After this, we go to the club where there is a convoluted build up to get Belushi on the stage to disco dance his ass off.
Great Moments in Sports starts with O.J. introducing the famous story of Babe Ruth promising a dying child that he would hit a home run which then leads into a reenactment. In this version of the story, the child is played by Garrett Morris, and the setup is the same as always only the outcome of the story is much different. First, there is a radio in Garrett's hospital room that is broadcasting the game, and it's the announcers tell of this promise to a dying boy, and this is how Garrett finds out that he's actually dying. After that, every at-bat is filled with close calls but no actual homers. Every time it gets closer and closer to the point where the anxiety alone is enough to almost kill Garrett Morris. Then it gets to the final chance, and Babe hits a ball that comes super close but is caught by the center fielder. This disappointment is enough to kill Garrett, and O.J. points out this is another case of a white guy taking back a promise to a black man.
Ashford and Simpson then perform So, So Satisfied.
Dan Aykroyd then pitches the Mohawk Master which is a Mohawk cutting clipper contraption that cuts the perfect Mohawk in one fluid motion.
The Big Event must have been a docudrama series from the time. Tonight's installment was called The Raid on Nicosia which must have been a very recent event at that time because part of the joke was how quick it was coming to television. The rest of the joke was mainly stunt casting of which celebrity from the time would play the people involved.
Once again, Jane and Dan give us the news. Also again, they open the news with another joke sponsor that wasn't funny enough to remember. Billy Murray made an appearance where he talked about that year's Academy Awards. Laraine also had a segment where she played the first woman to do a review from an NFL locker room which mainly leads to a bunch of double entendres about dick size. Roseanne Roseannadanna finishes off the segment by reading a serious question about dental work only to end up rambling about items she uses to pick her teeth.
Next, a group of guys watched a football game with O.J. on a night that Walter Payton is on the cusp of breaking O.J.'s touchdown record. O.J. acts like it doesn't bother him but he uses a Voodoo doll to thwart his efforts. Again, O.J. tries to pull off that he doesn't care and that he'd moved on but celebrates with champagne when the game ends without Payton breaking the record.
Franken and Davis do a routine where Franken has just gotten out of brain surgery. I was half expecting Franken to come out drooling and stupid like the surgery wrecked his brain, but he treats the condition a little more realistic, walking and talking just a little slower with a freshly bandaged head. He warns Davis that if he starts to lock up, it's because he needs to be sponged off with cold water. Franken then goes into doing a stand-up routine filled with kid jokes that still get laughter which pleases Franken so much that he begins to speak with more energy. He gets through one full joke then locks up just before giving the second punchline. Davis steps in and sponges Franken off which snaps him back so that he can finish his joke which he does but it's the punchline from the first one. This pattern repeats a second time where I feel the expectation is that when he comes to this time, he'd finish the third joke with the second punchline as if he one joke off, but no he once again repeats the first punchline. (Note: My description may suck, but this is pretty funny when it plays out on the screen.)
O.J. then plays Mandingo who is making out with Laraine in the parody ad for Mandingo II. Then we cut to Garrett Morris dressed as a woman making out with Bill Murray as the ad progresses through this sequel story. Next, Laraine refuses to make out with Murray, but lady Garrett and O.J. make out before we cut to Laraine making out with the female Garrett Morris, and then we cut to O.J. making out with Murray, and the ad ends with Murray giving goo-goo eyes to a cow. All of this happens in such a short sketch that it seems like a chaotic make out fest that's hilarious.
E. Buzz Miller returns with his cable access show with Laraine, his stripper sidekick. The two do nothing but comment over videos of animals having sex as an excuse to get anything sexual on television.
This is followed by a parody of O.J.'s Hertz commercial only this time he doesn't get the special treatment as the Hertz representative informs O.J. that they gave his car to Walter Payton stating, "We also have to go with the winner."
Ashford and Simpson return to perform Don't Cost You Nothing.
Celebrity of the Sexes and Races put O.J. and Leon Spinks against Sandy Duncan and Marie Osmond who lose hands down at every step of the competition.
Finally, O.J. closes the show by thanking the crowd and saying his goodnights.
