“We should often blush at our noblest deeds if the world were to see all of their underlying motives.”

— La Rochefoucauld

Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number one-hundred-seventy-two of Operation Achieve Anything. Today is the last day of yet another family visit, which has been fun but at the same time, I can’t wait to get back to my normal scheduled programming. There’s just a subtle sense of unnecessary stress whenever there’s a guest in the house. I feel it’s because my family has a way of always trying to be the perfect host while deep down inside we really don’t like any changes to our routines. I think this because I either inherited or learned that trait through my upbringing, so it’s easy to spot when it shows up in the people who did the raising or were also raised this way.

Right now, the introvert in me is already ready to hide away in order to recharge my energy. Again, it hasn’t been a bad visit at all, especially for me since everyone just leaves me alone to come and go as I please, but at the same time there are still just those back of the head thoughts where I yell at myself to stop being so anti-social that sends me inside when I’d prefer to be working on my projects. Especially when I do go in and nobody seems to notice that I’m even there, at least that’s a fear of mine.

Speaking of fear, that plays right into today's assignment about how hope and fear are the two strongest motivators in our lives. For the assignment, I was supposed to make two lists, one filled with the things that I fear and the other filled with the things they provide hope. As I said yesterday, as a bipolar person, I might be a little more aware of how much I’m fueled by both, even if I struggle to control the portions of which emotion is in control.

With that, here we go…

Fears:

I will probably die alone but even scarier is the fact that I've grown to not only accept but expect this as an outcome.
I will probably not finish my goal of adapting all of my fictional work into one cohesive story, not because of a lack of effort but because time is running out and death is right around the corner.
I’m not just parody and have always been correct in thinking that people have always liked me as a novelty and not for the person that I truly am.
I will never get help for these mental issues considering how every effort to reach out in the past has left me feeling less connected to the world.
I’m will never get to witness anything magical promises that I’ve been getting my entire life whether it be becoming a success after years of failure, an alien invasion, Christ’s return, or world destruction through a nuclear war, which at the pace we’re going, all of the above should be just around the corner.

Hope:

That I will be able to fulfill my goal of adapting all of my fictional work into one gigantic cohesive story, not really as a way to chase success but as a way to leave my mark on the world.
That I’ll be able to afford a self-sustainable cabin in the middle of nowhere with all of the creature comforts in order to escape all of the noise of the rest of the world while I work on the above-mentioned product.
To one day earn enough that I can actually do something for this world instead of just being another babbling voice in the crowd afraid to share my opinions even though I only wish for a more peaceful world.
I hope that we all will one day stop living as cogs in machines and/or audience members and actually get a chance to really experience life on this world and stop worrying about the price of admission.
That I will one day figure out how to be my own boss in order to be as self-sustainable as the cabin I dream of.

There you have a couple of my hopes and fears, so let now move on to today’s assignment where I’m supposed to share what I feel about the concept of motive while sharing what my motives are. I think that you’ll be able to gauge my stance pretty easily based on the two lists above but you’ll have to wait for tomorrow’s post in order to see how close you were. Until then, it’s now time to wrap this thing up by saying, good day and good luck to you and all of your projects.

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker

P.S. Below are links to my novel, which I plan to promote as part of Operation Achieve Anything, as well as a link to where you can buy the book that is providing the structure to this project in case you would like to purchase it in order to play along.