Alright Crickets, it’s another Sunday and time to get to get to work on my efforts to Achieve my Anything. I’m going to try to make today quick because I’m feeling a tad bit sick and want to spend the day wrapped up in bed, under my new weighted blanket, in hopes that it will facilitate a quicker recovery.

For Christmas, I got one of those weighted blankets that people use to help autistic children sleep because I heard that they also help people with insomnia. I’ve been using it ever since, and I have to tell you, I haven’t slept better in all of my life, and I have to give credit to the blanket. Part of me feels this is because I’d probably fall on the autism spectrum if that were a thing when I was young.

I don’t say this in a way like how people used to say they were “retarded” when they did something dumb before that became super offensive. I’m serious in my thoughts that I might be a bit autistic because the more I learn about it, the more signs I see. I don’t think that I would be an extreme case, but I would definitely fall on the map.

I mean, I have the social interaction issues where I can be super shy but then go a little overboard when I feel that I’m accepted. I feel this is due to the fact that I’ve learned how to handle social cues by mimicking people I admire through TV, movies, and other forms of media. This is why I usually joke using character voices of a heightened version of my own. If I am interacting, and not shy and sad, the chances are good that I’m wearing a mask.

When it comes to communication, as I just said, I usually speak through characters, and when I don’t, I have a stutter of sorts that’s triggered by people micro expressions that make me feel like I’m either being judged or wholly misunderstood. I think this is due to the fact that I grew up in a chaotic house where I constantly had to gauge people’s moods as I walked around the house on eggshells. I also think it helps that reading social cues doesn’t come naturally to me, so my mind goes into overdrive looking for signs as to whether or not people are following me.

This site is another sign because it shows my ability to get hyper-focused on things that interest me, even though the rest of my world is falling apart around me. Meanwhile, if I’m not interested in something I don’t bother at all which is why I am not all that tidy. On top of that, my need for a routine is how I’m able to commit to writing every single day of my life.

Aside from the above, I also show signs for various other reasons like weird aversions to certain sounds or textile feeling. I also don’t really like to be touched to the point where I didn’t grow comfortable enough to really hug people until I was in my early twenties. Finally, at least as far as this list goes, I overreact to small inconveniences where I will often break things or punch myself in the head until I calm down.

I also feel that I’ve lost, or destroyed many of my coping masks throughout the years which is why I now feel like a man without an identity other than the conduit that delivers the words in my head with hopes that I translate them clearly.

This may seem like a long-winded introduction, but it does play into yesterday’s assignment where I was supposed to think of a situation where I avoid responsibility and come up with a plan to change. The problem is, either I’m right or wrong with my self-diagnosis, I live as if it is at least somewhat accurate and blame my broken mind for most things. Even when I blame others for not understanding how I work, I still see myself as the more significant issue, but this doesn’t really fulfill the task at hand.

So, in order to fulfill the assignment, another area of my life where I do blame others is when I will say things like, “My writing is too this or that to be profitable” as my excuse to why I’m stuck in a rut as far as my writing career is concerned. Meanwhile, I do nothing to promote my work, and most of my non-blog pieces have ever been read by more than a handful of friends.

This Operation Achieve Anything challenge itself is meant to be my effort to get past this hurdle since my ultimate goal is to use it to promote my first novel, Chuck Norris Would Never Write This Book, A Diary Of Undiagnosed Disorders. This book is a fictionalized tale of a man learning to cope with life, navigating the world while questions of sanity fill his  head (this makes much more sense once you read it.)

Hopefully, this will be the solution because I know that using a challenge as my approach will hold me to my side of the deal. Now, it’s time to move on and share today’s assignment which seems like it will be a fun one but is another area where I don’t need all that much help since this assignment is an effort to get me to rekindle my ability to get lost in a world of imagination.

Once again, if anything, I spend too much time in this realm making this assignment seem not all that necessary. That said, it does seem like a fun one that I can’t wait to share when I check in with tomorrow’s update. Until then, it’s now that time where I say, good luck to you and your projects.  

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker

P.S. Below are links to my novel, which I plan to promote as part of Operation Achieve Anything, as well as a link to where you can buy the book that is providing the structure to this project in case you would like to purchase it in order to play along.