Another day, another struggle to come up with something to say. Last night I was thinking about how much I wish I could get around the inner censor in my head and just ramble about whatever the hell I want whether it be real issues that I'm struggling with, my thoughts on daily events, or just randomly musing on wild ideas like time travel, synthetic reality, and various other philosophies/thought experiments.

I think I hold back on sharing my struggles partially because I want to keep this segment light to match the tone of the challenges/main feature content of the site. The other problem is that ever since I moved home and am no longer fully self-sufficient, I don't feel that my issues are as valid as when I was 100% independent because it's hard to bitch about a prison that I put myself in.

Don't get me wrong, I don't consider living at home to be like prison because of any imposed rules. No, I've taken over the garage and set it up like it's my own studio and I'm able to come and go as I please. The prison part comes into play by my decision to work the bare minimum I need to get by in order to have full control over my schedule while I attempt to tackle my dreams. This makes it hard to gripe about things like not being able to afford to have fun when my lack of funds is fully my own fault.

As for why I censor myself when it comes to sharing my thoughts on the daily news, this one is simple, I just really don't want to talk about politics. The only problem is there are days where I'm so frustrated about what is going on that when I sit down to write, my instinct is to rant and rave but since I'm a solid independent in a two-party world a lot of my ideas get bashed by both sides and I just don't have it in me to fight.

Finally, the fun one, the one that I really want to work on, which is how I often avoid musing about my wild ideas for a handful of reason. The first/main reason is that these ideas come to me late at night when my thoughts feel more free-range to where if I were to write them down the moment they come to me the words would flow with ease. I wouldn't care how silly or stupid I sound because I would simply be transcribing concepts as they simply flow through my head. However, when morning comes, my mind is too focused on the reality of the day to where I can't tap into that headspace where I allow my mind to play however it wants.

Though I have gone through several phases where I attempted to write more radical ramblings at night, I find these musing hard to post because I fear that most people don't get the concept of a thought experiment to where you don't have to believe these ideas no matter how deep you going into exploring them, so once again, I'm simply saving myself from having to argue with those who disagree because they take my insights too serious.

Keep in mind, these concerns are moot because even if someone is reading these letters to no one, I have a silent following so I should feel free to write whatever the hell I want and for the most part I do, I just wish I could get back to the attitude that I had back when I lived in my own apartment where these daily posts were less journal like and more entertaining.

Hopefully, I'll figure this all out someday which is the whole point of this site being a ten-year training phase where the end goal is to find my true writing voice through this blog. Only time will tell if this will be worth all the effort so until then, it's time to get to work on the rest of my daily projects.

Talk to you tomorrow with another update.

Sincerely,

The Wicker Breaker