Area 52 - Southland Tales Reviews: 1 of 52... High Hopes... Foggy Memories...

Let me start off by sharing my conditions prior to hitting the play button.

The date was Sunday… February 17th. I was waiting until 7 pm to watch the movie so that there wouldn't be a glare on the TV. I was alone and happy. I had cleaned my apartment for the first time in a couple of weeks making it nice a cozy. Money from a writing gig that I just completed was transferred into my freelance account, and my first grip and electric job was starting the next day. I wasn't as afraid of the future or how I was going to pay the rent. To celebrate I got slightly medicated, very excited to start this project.

 (Warning there may be spoilers in the below review. Also if you came here to get a proper review of a movie, you came to the wrong place.)

I never even heard of the movie Southland Tales until about two weeks ago when I threw out the idea to do this challenge to watch and review the same movie once a week for a year. I was excited because the people who suggested this movie had an energy to their suggestions that piqued my interest.

I gave myself two weeks to decide which movie I would choose but all roads lead to Southland Tales. I managed to make it through the two weeks and still had no idea what this movie was about.

Well, now that I've seen it I have to tell you; I know just a tiny bit more. I know that there are a bunch of people in it, it had something to do with Donnie Darko, and I'm very excited that I'll be watching this movie for the next year.

Let me explain.

You see up there where I wrote that I was slightly medicated? When I wrote that I had just consumed some discount Valentine chocolate medicine that I had just purchased from, "the magical food store." The fun thing about edibles is that you can go from slightly medicated to way medicated like THAT and not even realize it until it's too late.

Here’s how it went down.

I ate the candy as I was typing up my viewing conditions. Then I started a YouTube video of a guy walking on his hand over people who were asleep on the beach. I looked up from time to time as I played a game of Sudoku on my phone. This is my way of settling in.

“Hm, maybe I’m too medicated to watch this,” I thought to myself as I hit play. I knew I had to watch it right then or else I wouldn’t meet my Tuesday deadline for the review.  So, I hunkered down on the couch and started to watch.

Here's what I saw.

There was a lot of nonsense going on, fear started to sink in that I was going to be stuck watching a found footage movie for a year, then something blew up, all kinds of TV shows and whatnot flashed around the screen including a porn star talk show that’s kind of like The View.

The Rock is in this movie, so is the guy who cheers on Will Ferrell after he takes a tranquilizer dart to the throat in Old School, and so is some guy that I’m not sure if it’s Ryan Phillippe, Justin Timberlake, or that DJ from Zoolander.

After those characters were introduced it was scene after scene of, “Woe, it’s that guy from that show,” and, “Are those midgets? I like how they don’t even really reference them,” moments.

Though I liked what I was seeing, I still thought that I was too medicated to watch this with the goal of a written movie review at the end… then I remember... I’m going to do this 51 more times. I instantly became more relaxed and continued to enjoy the movie.

Are there actors playing two separate characters?

Bring on the medicine.

That UPU2 logo really stands out. I wonder if it's some kind of subliminal message?

I realized that I was perfectly medicated as they introduced badass Jon Lovitz! That’s right, badass Jon Lovitz!

"I wish the Rock didn’t do that thing with his hands. That’s going to bug me throughout this challenge,” I thought to myself. There were a couple of music videos randomly throughout the movie that I don't think I'm going to be a fan of.

"Woe, badass Jon Lovitz just shot two people."

That led the Rock to run around paranoid for a bit. That was pretty intense.

This is where things started to get fuzzy.

The Rock gets on a giant blimp that runs on magic, while some guy is floating towards the heavens in an ice cream truck with two Seann William Scotts, as they find out that TimeCop time travel logic is accurate. The two Seanns from different timelines decide to shake hands causing them to glow and providing fuel for the floating ice cream truck. 

Meanwhile… the guy who's not Seann William Scott shoots a bazooka at the blimp and jumps off the floating ice cream truck to his death.

Then the Rock finds out that he’s Jesus as everything blows up.

I can't wait to watch this movie again!!!!