Area 52 - Southland Tales Reviews: 12 of 52... A Blog Equivalent Of A Recap Clip TV Show...

I can’t believe that I am a quarter of the way done with this project.

It’s been three whole months now.

Last night at 11:30 in the pm I sat down to watch the movie Southland Tales for the twelfth time.

Taking my queue from television, this week’s review is going to be a virtual clip show, recapping the moments in the film that stand out to me every time I watch this movie.

This review is based on the standard theatrical release so it will be easier to play along at home.

Here we go.

• There is a girl at the beginning of the movie that makes me think of a kid in Die Antwoord’s I Fink U Freaky video.

• Right after that… they show this girl there is a lady who shoots a water gun and begins to apologize saying, “I didn’t know there was water in it." Every time I wonder if this lady is acting. If so… she needs to be an extra in more movies because it feels so real to me every time. As if she accidentally shot the DP with water thinking it was just a prop.

• I’m always happy to see the shot of the crawling toy soldier.

• Being that they are never referenced I often forget about them, but I get a chuckle every time they go to the USIDent headquarters where there is a random department of little people.

• Why are there three brads in the script for The Power?

• I’m still happy to see the bizarre collection of actors that make up the group of scientists. I just wish Bea Arthur was still around to play the lady who looks like Bea Arthur.

A few of my favorite “that one person actors/actresses from the 80s… who made their way into the cult-classic… Southland Tales…

• I also chuckle every time it is revealed that Will Sasso is in this movie. He’s one of those guys that make me laugh just seeing him.

• There’s a scene where Senator Frost exits the elevator where for a brief moment I think he is Doogie Howser.

• Is Christopher Lambert putting on a crazy accent or is that just how he sounds? Also… what is that accent?

• I’m a big fan of Will Sasso’s reaction shots as The Rock pitches his story idea to Seann William Scott. I’ve been in that position, and have made those faces. I crack up every time.

• During the pitch… I can’t help but think of the Predator as The Rock says, “There’s no stopping what can’t be stopped…” I think it may be time for a reboot.

• I can’t believe I didn’t notice this until maybe the third viewing, but I really like the argument about shit, that takes place in front of a huge toilet.

• I think I have Misophonia and can’t stand the scenes with this USIDent lady chomping away on her chips. It makes me angry.

• Every time there is a cutaway to Miranda Richardson watching the monitors I always wonder if she knows that the camera is rolling. She looks like she's having fun either way.

• The scene where The Rock and Seann William Scott have a conversation at the café might be my favorite scene, the cutaway to the guy with the red, white, and blue Mohawk who’s chilling with his buddy is definitely my favorite quirky cut away.

• I really wish I was there for the filming of the scene where The Rock has to yank the script away from the tiny old lady from Poltergeist. It kind of reminds me of someone from Star Wars yanking something away from an Ewok.

• When we go back to USIDent to revisit the lady with the annoying eating habits, there is a coworker who is concerned because she’s been on bathroom duty for too long. The way he delivers the line makes me laugh every time.

• During the fight between Amy Poehler and Wood Harris, he does a move where he punches at the air like in Boyz n tha Hood. This is another thing that gets a chuckle out of me every time.

• Then badass Jon Lovitz shows up and makes me happy.

• For some reason that I’m not fully sure why, but I never liked the commercial with the humping cars. It doesn’t matter which version I watch I just kind of zone out during this scene.

• There’s a scene where the second Seann William Scott walks right past a tattoo parlor that is well lit and open, there isn’t even a door to block him from entering. Instead of going into the parlor… he walks right past it to the ice cream truck where he asks Christopher Lambert for his cellphone.

• My favorite delivery of a line in the entire movie is when The Rock says, “Can I see the cock chuggers?” He just seems so sincere in wanting to see it.

• As Bai Ling picks through Wallace Shawn’s hair I think she tries to make her wine glass filled with grapes look like a wig. I have no idea what she is doing throughout this movie.

• Up until I saw the Cannes Cut of this film I could have sworn that Rick Rubin was in this movie, it turns out it was Kevin Smith.

• Though I thought this would bug the hell out of me when I first saw this movie, it turns out I don’t really mind the music video with Justin Timberlake. I know it’s an irrational thought, but I always have hopes that this is going to be the viewing when JT shatters the glass when he slams his beer can on the glass counter.

• There’s a real brief moment where Cheri Oteri has to jump to see who is at the door. I find that very charming.

• As badass as Jon Lovitz is in this movie he can’t seem to fully escape being him. The way he delivers the line, “There’s her car,” makes me laugh. He also has a way of moving that just reminds me of too much of his SNL characters that I can’t take him seriously at all. That said… he's still great in this movie.

• In the scene where the girls are headed to the bar… there are two cameras on them, a handheld and a steady cam. Krysta Now starts to complain about the steady cam, only it is out of the shot so fast that it seems like she is referring to the handheld camera as a steady cam, being that the handheld cam follows her for the rest of the shot.

• When Seann William Scott meets up with the kid who ends up agreeing to drive to Mexico, the kid has concerns because he doesn’t have a Visa. Meanwhile… they yank an ATM out of the wall and drive it all around town without thinking twice about it.

• That is quite a kiss between Bai Ling and Wallace Shawn.

• Is that supposed to be a good or bad thing when the guy tells Miranda Richardson that he can smell her down the hall???

• Even though it happens to Will Ferrell who took the dart to the neck, I can’t help but think of Old School when Seann William Scott shoots up into his neck.

• When and why did Krysta Now die her hair? It took me multiple viewings to figure out that it was actually her. That dance made no sense to me the first time I saw it. Granted I was high out of my mind, but it wasn’t until the third or fourth viewing that I figured it out.

• With the robotic delivery of the line, “Nobody rocks the cock like Krysta Now,” I wish that the Cannes Cut would be the standard cut that takes the ending a bit more seriously.

Well… there you have it, my blog version of a clip show. I hope you enjoyed it.

I’ll be back to my regular reviewing style next week…

Wait, what is my regular reviewing style?

We’ll see when we get there!!!