I Think I Figured Out Why I Hate Action Films!!!

/

Date: 3/21/2013

Do you want to know why I hate action movies???

I used to think that it was when all the CG was added to heighten the action. Then after thinking hard about my writing process, and finally admitting just how much of myself I put into each of the characters, I realized I just can't relate.

First off I would never get into a situation where action would be involved.

Violence Of Action Movie Poster

  • I do not fight, to the point where my friends know that even though I am a big guy I do not have anyone’s back if anything goes down. There is no winning a fight for me, the outcome is either that giant just took out that little guy, or then that damn near midget beat up that big fat guy. It’s hard to consider that a trophy.

  • I never have once done anything to go and investigate. I could pretend that I don’t hear anything until the cows come home, and then I would pretend that they didn’t come home so that I could keep on pretending. When I hear something strange I figure if it’s friendly, it’ll come to me, if it is there to kill me then it’s going to kill me where ever they are, why not stay comfy in my chair.

  • I would never join the Army, not that I’m unpatriotic as this puzzle is piecing together, I’m a coward.

  • I don’t have or want kids, I’ve been single most of my life, and my friends and family all of a relationship where they know I would do anything in the world for them unless it is too actiony.

  • And I’m just lazy.

I also get frustrated because they never go into the story of what happens in the aftermath of all this action.

For instance in a movie where a Transformer casually destroys an entire city just to get from point A to point B. I want to see one of the car owner’s reactions, and not just the look of shock and running off.

I want to see the car owner watch this destruction thinking, “Holy shit, a fucking robot destroyed my car.” The rest of the movie would be about this guy telling every person he ever met about the time, “a fucking robot” destroyed my car until he dies, happy having lived a fulfilled life thanks to this tale about the “fucking robot,” destroying his car.

Finally, I want to see the reality of an action event. Beating ten people in one room never leads to someone just dashing off into the next room to fight more. There would have to be cursing, sweating while trying to catch my breath, contemplating backing out, serious contemplating backing out. All this while smoking, I’d definitely be smoking.

That’s what I figured out today!!!