Resolution #333: Apply To Marry A Stranger On TV...

Date: 11-29-2014

Due Date: 11-29-2015

The Resolution: I've never been good at relationships. Part of the problem is that I've never thought anyone could be physically attracted to me, so I'm not one to make any moves. Then as I try to win them over I end up in the friend zone.

The other day, I was listening to The Howard Stern Show and they were talking about the reality shows that are currently on the air when Robin started to describe Married at First Sight. A show where scientists match up strangers who then meet at the altar then get married. Because of my love of experimentation, this sounded like the perfect show to try out for.

I'm kind of a fan of the idea of instant marriage. The best part of a relationship is getting to know one another. I figure why not go through this romantic period as a married couple?

That and I've been fascinated with Harvey Pekar's relation to his wife, as depicted in American Splendor. Upon meeting Mr. Pekar she knows that they should get married right away and they do.

I almost ended up in a situation like this but I guess the girl involved wasn't as committed to the bit.

I figure that since this is for a reality they’re going to weed out all the sane people out to find someone who’s crazy enough to actually give it a shot.

That is if I were to get on the show, which I doubt but I have a great story built up in my head so I will be applying to be on season 2.

Result #333: Another Case Where I Successfully Fulfilled My End Of The Task But… I Probably Won’t Be Marrying A Stranger On TV…

Update #1: The Conclusion…

Date: 11-29-2015

I'm not all that hell-bent on getting married, as an atheist and a child of divorce I don't believe in the sanctity and permanence of this promissory bond between man and woman. I am intrigued to see what its like though. That's why when I heard about this reality show where they scientifically matched up strangers to marry I had to at least throw my name in the hat.

The problem is, I'm too old for a reality show relationship and horribly awkward on camera, hell, I'm horribly awkward in general which is another reason why I decided to turn to TV to marry me off.

I think I did fine on the written part of the application process but there was a video portion where you pretty much have to interview yourself and submit the video through your webcam. This was where the awkward levels hit red. I stammered through each question having no idea where to look. I'm sure the only reason a producer would pick my video is if they did this show so much that they needed the equivalent of a tone-deaf performer's audition on American Idol.

Like in real life, I had no genuine belief that I would ever be chosen but I successfully did my part and gave it a try and here we are today.