Resolution #41: I Will Complete This Book Will Change Your Life...
/
Date: 2-10-2014
Due date: 2-10-2014
Resolution: I bought This Book Will Change Your Life years ago intending to complete every task inside. Other than flipping through it a few times while sitting on the toilet this book has spent most of its time sitting on my bookcase collecting dust.
This year I'm going to change that.
Note: The book is designed so that you go in order and complete one task a day for a year. I know that sounds very fitting for this challenge, but I don't plan on following this structure. I have no intention of going in order, and some days I may try to complete five tasks while other days I may choose to ignore the book altogether.
I also doubt that I will complete everything so here's how I plan to gauge my success or failure for this challenge.
Complete %90 to %100 of the challenges: Success!!!
Complete %80 to %89 of the challenges: Success*
Complete %70 to %79 of the challenges: Success**
Complete %60 to %69 of the challenges: Success***
Complete less than %59 of the challenges: Failed :(
Result #41: This Book Failed To Change My Life... Maybe That's Because I Failed To Complete The Entire Book??? But I Did Complete Some!!!
Update #1: Page 349..
Date: 2-12-2014
Update #2: Page 9...
Date: 2-13-2014
For those that can't read my chicken scratch it says:
Posted my resolution, went for a walk, posted updates, time for Breakfast.
I should have noted it's now 4:30 in the pm and I'm just now getting around to bucket oatmeal :)
Update #3: Page 172…
Date: 2-15-2014
I feel that I didn't get much done yesterday and today was starting to feel like another waste of a day. I got home around noon from a night of hard drinking and being that I'm no longer a daily drunk, I'm actually learning what it's like to have hangovers. I hate it.
I posted my resolution for the day and went back to bed. I figured I was getting something done because I had The Muppet Show playing as I lied around trying to work up the energy to do anything (If you're following along I've also resolved to watch every episode of The Muppet Show.)
I got a bit of a nap in and finally feel ready to face the day. As I went out on my mini walk (not long enough to qualify for my Alphabet Hunting Game) I started to think that I needed to do something crazy to get a lot of stuff done to make up for the past day and a half. That's when I remembered seeing this challenge while flipping through "This Book Will Change Your Life." I figured this is the perfect time to play the no sleep for 24 hours game!!!
I plan to stay up until at least 6:00 in the pm tomorrow February 16th while working on my resolutions. I plan to clean my apartment, finish at least the second section of my homework assignment, possibly finish the third section of the assignment so that I'll just be done with it, watch the rest of season one of The Muppet Show, get some knitting in, finish this scarf if possible, chip away at as many of the other resolutions as I can and finish off the day with a sleep-deprived attempt to hallucinate via the meditation technique I am experimenting with.
This should be fun. I'll keep you posted.
Update #4 Page 1…
Date: 2-16-2014
Update #5: Page 262...
Date: 2-18-2014
Chicken scratch translator, "I tried and tried this seems to no longer be a site."
Update #6: Page 10…
Date: 2-19-2014
Translation, "Another Broken Link."
With all these broken links this challenge is going to be easy!
Update #7: Page 30...
Date: 2-20-2914
In that little white box… it says, "Ignore today." Done and done!
Update #8: Page 129…
Date: 2-21-2014
I apparently have 43 blessings.
Updated #9: Page 120…
Date: 2-22-2014
Update #10a: Page 109/110…
Date: 3-3-2014
It's time to get back into this book changing my life. Granted this isn't something I'm going to do today since it involves waking up a particularity way, but I'm sharing in advance so that you will know that tomorrow I will be getting out of bed right foot first.
Update #10b: Page 109/110…
Date: 3-6-2014
Over the past couple of days… I experimented with which foot I should start out my day on. I wasn't expecting much because I'm not superstitious, but now that I'm looking back at the experiment I have to say...
I was absolutely right. Nothing magical happened either day.
Here's what happened.
I started out on Tuesday… March 4th by getting out of bed with my right foot first. I had a hard time starting the day so and it was even harder to remember to reboot each start on my right foot, but I think I pulled it off.
Upon giving up on sleep I walked over to my computer to post my resolution and start the day. I had plans to have drinks with a friend so I scheduled a light workload.
My friend came over and we had a few drinks, watched The Muppet Show and talked about life.
She left and I went back to working on resolutions.
I found out that I was drunker than I thought when I passed out in my chair.
I wasn't paying attention to time, but I went back to work on resolutions and eventually went to bed to try and get some real sleep and eventually did.
Day two, Wednesday the 5th, I woke up and got out of bed, starting the day with my left foot.
As I've pointed out in past posts I barely drink anymore and that's why I was drunker than I expected the night before and why I have a rough day after compared to when I drank on a daily basis. So both days started pretty rough.
I had no plans to do anything except for work on the resolutions but I still made a light schedule to make up for my grogginess.
I finished my daily duties and decided to take a nap.
That nap turned into a ten-hour slumber that I really needed.
Which day was better?
I don't know. I had a good time drinking with my friend but I also had a good time napping. The rest of either day was just business as usual. So I have to say, I learned absolutely nothing, but I did it!
Update #11: Page 231…
Date: 3-8-2014
Another gimme due to the website no longer existing!
Update #12: Page 51…
Date: 3-9-2014
The condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
Update #15: Page 25…
Date: 3-10-2014
Update #16: Page 28…
Date: 3-14-2014
Here's what my last meal would be.
3 fried chicken breast from Albertsons.
A medium container of their pea salad.
A loaf of Hawaiian bread.
A giant Monster.
Finally a three-pack of yellow Zingers.
Update #17: Page 47…
Date: 3-15-2014
Late-night… I actually tried counting sheep to go to sleep. I got to 23 and am not sure if I gave up or passed out, so I guess it worked. Even though I kept waking up throughout the night.
Update #18: Page #70…
Date: 3-18-2014
According to this anything over 40 means you're a psychopath. I scored a 25. Finally… proof that I'm not crazy, well at least not criminally insane.
Update #19: Page #27 and Page #98…
Date: 3-20-2014
Yesterday I didn't leave my apartment and didn't speak a word. Though I didn't plan to be so antisocial it allowed me to complete two challenges from This Book Will Change Your Life.
Page 27
Page 98
Update #20: Page #158…
Date: 3-22-2014
Here's what my chicken scratch says. I have no other god including you. Is the fact that I only acknowledge the lower case god taking your name in vain? I'm working tomorrow and technically it's the sabbath now.
Update #21: Page #8…
Date: 3-23-2014
Translation: It's been four days since I've had an addictive substance. I find it rather boring.
Update #22: Page #74…
Date: 3-24-2014
Translation: Another accomplishment by default goal because the website is down!!!
Update #23: Page #113…
Date: 3-26-2014
Translation: The challenge is to watch a movie that starts with an F.
My chicken scratch says: You know how I like to kill multiple birds with one stone. I planned to watch Forrest Gump today so I may as well check this off the list as well.
Update #24: Page 36…
Date: 3-27-2014
Translation: I tried this last week but couldn't find the page so I redid it yesterday.
Update #25: Page #198
Date: 3-27-2014
Translation: That god damn Forrest Gump got the waterworks going.
Update #26: Page #7…
Date: 3-28-2014
Translation: I'm on it.
Update #27: Page #235…
Date: 3-29-2014
Translation: Hey Internet, Help me find this Aubrey person on the social media sites. I want to know her secret.
Update #28: Page #54…
Date: 3-30-2014
Translation: I only farted twice yesterday. I hope you're not disappointed in me.
Update #29: Page #26…
Date: 3-31-2014
Translation: Yes!!! I prefer to be reincarnated as an astronaut! But you're not getting my $5 Dalai Lama.
Update #30: Page #93…
Date: 4-1-2014
Here's what the tiny words in the book say.
There is 1 chance in 140 trillion that the Earth should exist.
There is 1 chance in 795 billion that life should have evolved on Earth.
There is 1 chance in 89 billion that life should have evolved into mankind.
There is 1 chance in 12 billion that mankind should have created an alphabet and thus civilization.
There is 1 chance in 6 billion that your parents should ever have met and got together.
There is 1 chance in 90 million that you should have been the lucky sperm that fertilized your mother’s egg.
Overall you're pretty lucky to be here. Remember that, and show some cosmic humility.
My words: I will do this while watching Cosmos.
Update #31: Page 152…
Date: 4-2-2014
Translation: I just emailed myself in the future via futureme.org it will be delivered on the last day of this project I'll share it then.
Update #32: Page 139…
Date: 4-3-2014
Translation: Good thing I remembered this page last night when I got a random nose bleed.
Update #33: Page #88…
Date: 4-4-2014
Translation: 18" Pythons
Update #34: Page #217…
Date: 4-5-2014
Translation: I'm not a V.I.P.
Update #35: Page #328…
Date: 4-6-2014
Done.
Update #36: Page #212…
Date: 4-7-2014
Last night I slept with this book as a pillow. This is the translation of my note about the dream.
I had a dream that I was writing in a fancy library with leather-bound books. There were windows but they were plate glass so I couldn't see through them. This isn't my fantasy writing location. Maybe that's why I woke up.
Update #37: Page #42…
Date: 4-8-2014
Challenge: Walk Barefoot through the grass.
Chicken scratch translation: On my way home from my walk I spotted a park and remembered this challenge. So I walked over to the park, took my shoes and socks off, and took about a six-step walk through the grass. I must have looked crazy to any onlookers. Who's to say I'm not.
Update #38: Page #362…
Date: 4-11-2014
Translation:
Done.
It was a nightmare.
I don't want to go back.
I don't want to explain.
I'm sorry world.
Update #39: Page #243…
Date: 4-12-2014
Translation: Done. I had a moment where I thought maybe my own silence was enough but the decided to make it official and paused the podcast I was listening to.
Update #40: Page #65…
Date: 4-13-2014
Chicken scratch translation:
Today I memorized Zippo from Michael Madsen's book of poetry entitled Burning in Paradise.
The poem.
Zippo
I poured another shot
of vodka
and see my reflection
on the back
of a silver Zippo.
Like a mirror in
an amusement park
a little crooked,
a little strange.
Never underestimate
the value of a Zippo.
Update #41: Page #185…
Date: 4-14-2014
Chicken Scratch Translation:
I Joined the Hin Stuttligi Flokkurin party today!!!
AKA The Funny Party.
(Look it up)
Update #42: Page #118…
Date: 4-15-2014
Update #43: The Conclusion…
Date: 2-14-2015
Though I never thought I was actually going to complete this book, I did think I'd get a little further, but not much further.
I completed 42 challenges somewhat quickly but then it got harder and harder to find challenges that were possible to complete. Some were impossible, some were illegal, many were out of my comfort zone but for the most part… a lot of these challenges are just unfeasible to do in reality, and are there just to be a joke.
I wish more of these challenges were real because I was really looking forward to giving this book a serious shot…
Oh well…
