Resolution #93: Test Out These Foot Detox Pads...
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Date: 4-3-2014
Due date: 4-3-2015
Resolution: A few years ago I bought a set of these foot detox pads as my gift for a white elephant gift exchange. Deep down inside I really wanted to keep them for myself. The gift was given and the phenomena of out of sight out of mind kicked in. I lost interest almost moments after wrapping it with a brown sack and duct tape.
In keeping with the April Fools theme, I will add this to my list of BS that I want to test. Again I have no expectations with any of these services or products, I just like to experiment. I'll keep you posted on my findings.
Result #93: I Successfully Detoxed My Feet For Almost A Month… And All That I Got… Are These Disgusting Photos Of Used Foot Pads!!!
Update #1: The Arrival Of Way Too Many Foot Pads…
Date: 4-15-2014
So apparently I didn't read what I was ordering as closely as I thought. I was expecting one package of 10 detox foot pads. What I got was a 5-pack, turning this 10-day novelty experiment into a 50-day chore.
Oh well.
I'll run with it. For the next 50 days, I'll be experimenting with these foot detox pads.
Tune in tomorrow for the results from night 1.
I'm kind of excited to see how dirty I'll get these things. I'm not sure what they're supposed to detox you from, but I'm sure whatever it is, I got it in me.
Day #1 The Experiment Begins…
Date: 4-17-2014
I'm still not fully sure what I'm supposed to be experiencing, but this happened.
Apparently, one of my feet is more naturally detoxed than the other.
My only other observation is that it was fun to wake up, having forgotten all about these things and questioning, "What the hell did I step on?" as I walked to the bathroom.
Day #2: Equality…
Date: 4-18-2014
This morning I woke to this. Depending on how you flip these things it seems that last night the sides of my feet were equally toxic but only the sides.
Day #3: The Evil Is Almost Gone…
Date: 4-19-2014
It turns out my feet weren't all that evil last night.
Day #4: All clean!!!
Date: 4-20-2014
So can you reuse these things when they come out clean? I've got four more boxes to go through so I'm just going to chuck them. I just want to know.
Day #5: The Reinforces…
Date: 4-21-2014
I had mixed feeling about the clear pads from yesterday's foot detox.
Part of me felt that whatever mumbo jumbo is going on with this product is designed to dry out your feet so that by the end of a package of ten you no longer sweat as much in that spot and therefore, no longer see black.
If it was black every morning this person would be thinking, "It's the same thing every night? I thought these were supposed to get rid of the toxins?" Then they'd probably give up on it and never buy a pack again.
Since toward the end they see it's clean that must mean it's working. They then rush out and tell their friends and wait for their toxins to build up again to buy more.
Unfortunately, I have five packs of these things and I'm wearing them until they are gone, which will be twenty days from now.
This leads to another trick of theirs. The packaging says that there are ten pads in a box, not five sets, leading me to think I accidentally bought a fifty-day supply when I really accidentally ordered twenty-five when I only wanted one package.
Anyways.
Last night I woke up to find the pads barely attached to my feet. I was angry because I didn't want these things clean every morning because they weren't making contact with my feet due to their use crappy adhesive.
I walked over to my desk, grabbed some duct tape, and the above photo is the result.
Five days in and my feet have more toxins than day one.
Day #6: The Grossest Day Yet…
Date: 4-22-2014
Last night was one of the best nights of sleep I had in a while. One of those sober, exhausted, effortless transitions into slumber followed by eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. I could see enjoying life if I always woke up feeling this refreshed.
Then I looked down at my feet.
Holy crap I thought I was supposed to be detoxed by now. Not only are these pads the darkest they've been to date but they also have a glossy appearance to them that the camera didn't pick up.
Again I'm aware that this is just the collection of foot sweat, but the addition of the duct tape taken this experiment to the next level.
Day #7: A Little Cleaner Even With Duct Tape…
Date: 4-23-2014
Here's this morning's grossness!
Day #8: These Things Are Weird... And Clean Again…
Date: 4-24-2014
I have no idea the wizardry of these things but they apparently work. And by work… I have no idea what they are doing detox wise but they do vary in grossness in a magical way!
Day #9: The Grossness Returns…
Date: 4-25-2014
I don't know if it's these pads, the duct tape, the Strutz I've been wearing, or a building problem from owning crappy shoes and being on my feet all day, but my feet are killing me these days.
Day #10: Two Boxes Down Three To Go!!!
Date: 4-26-2014
I think the duct tape was irritating my skin so I decided to stop using it. I figure that since I've already seen and shared just how gross these things can get I'm over putting the extra effort into putting on a show.
From here on out if the pads are not sticky enough to stay on my feet all night I'll point it out as a product flaw and not my fault for being a restless sleeper.
Day #11: And They Are Clean Again!!!
Date: 4-27-2014
My feet are feeling a little better. Now I'm positive that the duct tape was a bad idea. These did stay stuck to my feet all night, but not as snug without the added support.
Day #12: And They're Totally Clean Again… The Only Problem Is...
Date: 4-28-2014
... they were on the floor and not on the bottom of my feet, but they're clean!!!
I was going to go into how I move around a lot in my sleep as if it's my fault and that this product, that I don't even believe in, is poorly made. I just realized that I might blame myself a little too much. It's one thing to own your mistake but I think I go one step further in seeking how everything is my fault.
Who knew these stupid snake-oil footpads would actually lead to some insight?
Day #13: They Stayed On All Night!!!
Date: 4-29-2014
It's getting to the point where I'm more excited about whether or not these things stay on my feet and couldn't care less if they actually change colors.
Day #14: These Things Get Even Worse If You Wear Them While You're Awake…
Date: 4-30-2014
Last night (AKA this morning) I got a little too drunk in celebrating my first day off in nine days and forgot to put these puppies on. I then figured that I only need to wear the foot detox pads once a day, it's suggested that you wear these when you sleep. I was also intrigued as to what would happen if I wore them on a walk.
I figured wearing these detox pads on my walk would not only enable me to stick with my commitment but also test these things on another level.
The results: More Grossness.
Day #15: Ten More Days!!!
Date: 5-1-2014
I brought this up earlier but I would be way more impressed if these things weren't so sporadic. The fact that these can be clean one day and then look like the La Brea Tar Pit the next, leads me to be very unimpressed. Even the hint of consistency would bamboozle me into thinking they were doing something.
Day #16: And They Continue To Be Consistently Sporadic…
Date: 5-2-2014
Day #17: Last Night… I Made A Duh-Discovery
Date: 5-3-2014
If you've read any of my foot detox reviews you'll know that I've been having a problem with these things sticking to my feet. Last night I felt dumb when I came to the conclusion that just because the adhesive and the pads are both rectangular I don't have to match up the orientation. I finally turned the pads sideways and they stick ten times better.
I still don't think they're doing anything but at least they stick!
Day #18: After Two Days Of Being Clean… I’m Toxic Once Again…
Date: 5-4-2014
Day#19: Let Me Guess… Tomorrow… These Things Will Be Spotless?
Date: 5-5-2014
I can't wait for this one to end.
Day #20: Twenty Days In… And… I'm Still Toxic Apparently…
Date: 5-6-2014
Day #21: Four More Days Of This Nonsense!!!
Date: 5-7-2014
I'm over it but must continue on.
Day #22: Same As It Ever Was... Same As It Ever Was...
Date: 5-8-2014
Stupid buying in bulk by accident.
Day #23: And They're Clean Again!!!
Date: 5-9-2014
...granted they were on the floor but they're clean!
Two more days!!!
Day #24: One More Night Of Nonsense...
Date: 5-10-2014
...well this nonsense at least.
Day #25: I Couldn't Have Planned A Better Ending To This Experiment…
Date: 5-11-2014
I can't believe this foot detox experiment ended the way it did. This morning I woke up to find one pad still attached to my foot and the other pad on the floor at the foot of my bed.
I found this to be interesting because up until today the pads seemed to coordinate their level of stickiness, but that's not the crazy part.
Here's the plot twist that blew my mind, the pad that was still on my foot was spotless while the pad on the floor was black.
These things really are magical.
Update #2: The Conclusion…
Date: 5-12-2014
Well, it's day 26. I'm all out of footpads. This experiment that was supposed to be a quick, 5-day challenge ended up lasting 25 days because I accidentally ordered a five-pack.
I feel better than when I started this experiment, but I've made a lot of health changes lately, so I can't really credit the foot detox for feeling healthier. Maybe they did play a part? Who knows? Who cares?
From the get-go, I was more interested in the trickery at play in this product over the health benefits. I figure that all these detox pads are doing is absorbing my foot sweat causing the charcoal inside to darken. I thought for sure there must be some kind of powder in the mix that reduced sweat more and more over the course of the treatment.
I would have been impressed if that were the case.
I pointed this out in an earlier update, but I would have also been impressed if there was any sort of consistency. I thought the whole point of this product is that it will detox you, meaning if they worked the pads would gradually fade from dark to clear and then stay clear, maybe vary between clear and slight discoloration as the toxins return but there was nothing.
I saw no rhyme or reason for why the pads would go from clear to pitch black and then back to clear over a three day period.
Since they didn't win me over with their trickery I give the Kinoki Foot Detox a fail.
As always just because the product is a failure doesn't mean the experiment isn't a SUCCESS!!!
