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High Hopes For Kelly Bundy

As I said back when Al Bundy hosted the show, Married With Children may just be my favorite TV show as a kid because it provided a window into what I felt my life would have been if my parents never got their divorce. Minus the stepparents, my family was a bit dysfunctional but at the same time, we were all super tight when outsiders would start any trouble.

I’m also a huge fan of Howard Stern who seemed to have been talking up Christina Applegate’s hosting skills ever since this challenge has started. By that I mean, every time that he’s had an SNL Alumni in for an interview since I started this venture, he questioned them if it was true that Christina was so good during her appearances that the show actually wanted to make her a member of the cast.

Between these two facts, I was really looking forward to this episode but am sad to admit that when all was said and done, I felt this was just another good but not great episode just like the rest of the season. This is too bad because if it wasn’t for this boost in optimism there would be no “but” because I’d just be saying that it was a pretty fun show to watch.

I’m now willing to bet that Howard Stern was talking about her later visit after she had more improv experience from working on films like Anchor Man. I can fully see this being the case as she now seems to carry herself as a more confident comedic force than she seemed in the appearance.

Either way, this episode also contained one of the most classic sketched of all time where Chris Farley introduced his Matt Foley characters who taught us all to fear, “Living in a van down by the river,” making this a worthwhile episode no matter the quality of the other sketches that made up the rest of the night.

With all of that said, I can’t wait for the next visit from my childhood crush but until then it’s now time to shift gears from rambling on about my opinions to sharing what I actually saw, as I give you…

The Wicker Breakdown:

This week's show started with a new installment of Coffee Talk where once again host, Linda Richman shared the story of how she took over the show from Paul Baldwin before sharing a story about Mother’s Say which she followed up by taking phone calls from her fans to discuss the special day. This being the opening sketch, it eventually built to the announcement of, “Live from New York…”
Christina Applegate then officially opened the show with a monolog about how excited she was to work on the show and get to play a bunch of different characters. She then went on to explain how she was super excited to visit New York because it was a complete change of pace from her life in L.A. only most of her New York adventures were all based around going to the mall.
This was followed by a fake ad for the Nerf Crotch Bat which was a Nerf bat that was perfectly designed for the ultimate crotch shot.
Focus On Beauty II was a parody of a Cher infomercial from the time where Christina Applegate imitated the legendary pop star to pitch her latest line of hair care products. The big selling point of this product and major was the fact that there was no alcohol which they claimed led to less dried out hair which they had to repeat over and over again as if it were a hard concept to grasp.
The Backwards Romance was an experimental theater sketch that highlighted a play where time ran backwards which led the narrator played by Phil Hartman to have to explain over and over again when things got too confusing to keep track of the story’s logic.
Midnight Oil then took to the stage to perform Truganini.
Once again, Kevin Nealon gave us the news. This week, Adam Sandler dropped by to sing a Mother’s Day tune but other than that it was just news.
The Gap series of sketches returned for another round of youth bashing as the drag clad boys from the show where this time they complained about the Clinton’s style before being introduced to Christina Applegate who played the new girl. At first, Christina struggled to fit in because her honest approach to being a salesperson failed to translate to moving any merchandise but the old employees took her in when they saw how harsh she was with the girl from the Donut Shop who was part of an inter-store feud.
Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker was the debut of Chris Farley’s classic motivational speaker character who warned Christina Applegate and Dave Spade about doing drugs and how doing so could lead you to LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.
You Bet Your Life was a game show sketch hosted by Adam Sandler as Bill Cosby who made fun of the comedian’s rambling ways to the point where it was impossible to figure out what he was saying even though the contestants did seem to have any problems understanding as they worked together in order to win the game.
Midnight Oil then returned to the stage to perform My Country.
Hangin' With MTV: G-Spot was an MTV profile parody that highlighted the fictional new R&B group named G-Spot who sang a song about sucking big fat toes.
We then got a Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey where Jack pondered why the dove was designated as a symbol of peace and not something more safe and soft like a pillow.
Kevin Nealon then played Christina Applegate’s agent who prepared her for a meeting with Acme Casting Agency and had to warn her about all of the strange disfigurements and strange personalities that she would be experience when she entered the casting room.
This was followed by another Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey where Jack discussed how it’s easy to laugh at the old, especially when you look at their Adam’s apples.
Finally, Christina Applegate closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.

Though I feel a little let down that this episode wasn’t a great as it was built up to be since starting this challenge, I still found it to be a pretty fun show thanks to these three of my favorite moments from the night. First, I loved the Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker because it is still such a classic sketch that’s impossible not to love. Next, I really liked The Backwards Romance because it’s a sketch that does a pretty good job at making fun of the surreal style stories that I like to write when I want to sound like I’m being deep. Finally, I was a fan of the fake Nerf Crotch Bat ad because who doesn’t like crotch shots as a form of comedy.