Dateline 4-25-2016

Last night I experience something I never felt before. I had worked myself to the point of exhaustion and almost fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. That was a weird enough experience, being that I usually lie awake as thoughts race through my head but it's not the experience that inspired me to share.

Between the ages of 20 and about 36 I'd say that I drank myself to sleep far more than a sober slumber. Somewhere around the age of 36 I started to lessen the amount of time I spent drinking alone. At this time I noticed that the second I transitioned between being awake a asleep my body would convulse.

These convulsions felt more like a shock to the system than a health issue. It's as if my years of being a drunk made it so I passed out every night making it so I forgot what it felt like to transition into sleep and my mind thought I was dying for the briefest of moments. Now that I barely drink that twitching has gone away.

Last night, as I hit that transitional phase, I started to get really scared. I had the chills from a feeling that someone or something was in my room watching me. I think I was in a realm between awake and asleep because even though my thoughts were telling me I was fine my body was having a fight or flight reaction but I at the same time I couldn't move.

I thought for sure that if I were to open my eyes I would be greeted by some sort of being. The chills got stronger as there was a weird blend of fear and excitement because I really thought I was going to see an alien or something while also being sort of aware that this was a partial dream.

It started to feel the same as the time that I did salvia when I started to feel that it wasn't a physical being but more that I was tapping into the collective conscious or some other connection to the world. The thing that was new was that I never felt anything like this while being completely sober.

I'm guessing this is my first experience with sleep paralysis? I kind of hope this trend carries on because even though it freaked me out at the time, I'd like to go deeper in exploring what it actually is.

If it ever happens again, I'll be sure to let you know.

Talk to you tomorrow,

- The Wicker Breaker