Dateline 10-11-2017

For some reason, I'm really struggling with sleep once again. Where I usually struggle to fall asleep, my new problem is I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning. This sucks because I found a schedule that really worked for me that I managed to stick to for a little over a month and have been trying to get back to it all week. 

To add to the annoyance, not only am I waking up later in the day, it seems to take at least another hour until my head clears enough to finally get to work. I think part of the problem is that I fell into this new pattern last week when I was suffering from another quick bout of depression and I have yet to readjust now that I'm in a better mood. 

The other part of the problem seems to stem from the fact when I start late, I tend to try and just jump right into my day instead of sticking to my normal morning routine where I would ease into waking up. Where I used to have a quick breakfast and check in on the news, I now skip everything in an effort to make up for lost time.

I think the lack of food and added pressure to just get up and go ends up adding to the time it takes me to complete any task as I sit at my computer struggling to focus on the matter at hand. Instead of feeling inspired and excited about what I am about to write, I end up feeling like I'm stuck in my head, annoyed by what is supposed to be a fun hobby and not a chore.

Today I woke up late as per the current trend, and once again I sat at my computer struggling to come up with anything to write. This time, rather than sit and force myself to just write anything to get it over with, I decided to cook up some food and take my time even if it means I won't get done until later in the day than I would like.

So far so good. I don't know why I'm always surprised to find that it's easier to focus when I'm not running on an empty stomach. Not only did I cook and enjoy breakfast, I also finally got around to tidying my room which is also surprisingly beneficial to both my attitude and ability to work.

Surprised might be the wrong term as I am fully aware that a clean workspace and a good morning meal are the optimal conditions to start out the day but for whatever reason, I just can't seem to commit to either activity until they become an instinctual habit that will stick.

Hopefully, now that I'm in a better mood and eating breakfast again, I'll have more energy to get through the day to where I don't dread waking up and getting out of bed so I can get back to the earlier schedule that I found to be ideal.

Oh well, we'll see what happens and as always, I'll check in tomorrow with another update on how things turn out.

Talk to you then,

The Wicker Breaker