Dateline 12-13-2017

Today I'm finishing off another season of SNL which is crazy considering that I have yet to stray away from my minimum average of one viewing a day since New Year's and am still several seasons away from being halfway through this challenge. It's not only hard to believe how much more work there is ahead of me but it's also hard to believe that I've already been at this for almost a year.

I'm sure I've mentioned this several times in the past but I'm always blown away by how time can feel like it is both dragging along while it can also disappear with a blink of an eye at the same time. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that I decided to move away from Seattle but then again it also feels like it's been decades since I left my old identity behind.

I often think about this when I fantasize about the future, daydreaming of a day where I'm living the life of a somewhat successful writer to the point where I could afford to buy some land and build a home... or have someone else build it if I'm being honest. These daydreams always start out pretty reasonable and then build up to become more delusional and grandiose to the point where it would take a lifetime to complete even half the tasks.

Meanwhile, I'm already at least halfway done with my time on this planet and getting to where my age-based health issues are starting to slow me down. At the pace that I'm going, either success will never happen or I'll be too old to fulfill most of my youthful fantasies but that still won't stop me from chasing these dream because I'm all-in at this moment with nowhere else to go.

Sorry for any negative tones to this post because it was supposed to show my cautious optimism which can come across as very negative by pointing out the potential for failure and the fact that I'll be dead someday. I think that I do this as a way to highlight that I'm not a delusional megalomaniac and that I'm aware that I tend to set unrealistic goals.

I do this because it feels like people don't think that many of my goals are grounded in reality. Though this may be true to an extent, I'm always aware of what realm I'm actually in and usually share my crazy ideas to hide the fact that I'm actually extremely pessimistic in thinking that nothing will ever go my way.  

Either way, I'm still excited to do what I do even if nothing ever gets recognized because I don't know what else to do with this crazy old mind of mine. Oh well, we'll see what happens and as always, I'll be back tomorrow to chime in with another update. Until then, it's now time to say good day and good luck to you and all of your projects.

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely, 

The Wicker Breaker