Operation Achieve Anything: Day Two-Hundred-Seventy-Four, Dateline 10-1-2018
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“Forgiving someone who breaks a trust does not mean that we give him his job back.”
Good morning crickets. Welcome to day number two-hundred-seventy-four of Operation Achieve Anything. Here I am again to report once again on this bummer of an assignment that I openly admit to half-assing my way through. Once again, I don’t take issue with the actual lesson of forgiving others, but as I keep saying, I’m frustrated with all of the self-help advice when I thought that this book would be more specific to goals and less focused on healing the inner me. The title of the book just really bamboozled me into thinking that this particular book would be more about the task than the self.
Even if I did buy this specifically for the self-help aspect, I don’t know why it waited this late to get into such a bummer of a task where I have to go back and revisit sad memories of those the book wants me to forgive. The timing couldn’t be worse because it also synced up with a period in my SNL reviews that was the turning point into this latest rough patch in my life. Feel free to click here to read more from this time.
My hang up isn’t that I don’t want to forgive anyone else who was involved because I don’t feel that anyone needs forgiving since nothing was intentional, what happened during this rough patch was all just a part of growing old. I accept everything that happened and am trying to move on, and I get that the book is suggesting that moving forward might be easier if the issues were addressed to finally let them go, but these things already have been addressed, and I was moving on until these assignments started to rekindle old memories.
Finally, I also take issues with this series of task because I probably need to be forgiven more than anyone else involved. I was the one being tormented by disorders and could have easily just disappeared into the role of the peripheral friend instead of openly announcing that I was giving up because I’d rather live in out in the middle of nowhere than right on the edge. I’ve gone from being a core member of a collection of friends many times, only to end up the novelty act who gets invited to one or two annual events where I get to be caught up on how the newly configured group lives.
I might have been able to pull it off if I was younger and easily able to find my next group but as much as I love the group of friends experience it’s impossible to keep up once you pass a certain age. Being that I stopped desiring to be a source of entertainment, my idea of friendship, in general, has started to change, and right now, I can’t even imagine what I new friend would be, let alone know how to handle the disconnect that comes with interacting with the people who expect the old me.
I no longer know how to even act around my family since I decided to move home. Where I used to be fun loving and filled with jokes, now all that I want is to get back to my sanctuary to work on my various projects. I’ve always dreamed of being a bit of a mad scientist, working with words and my imagination instead of beakers and elixirs deep into the middle of the night. I don’t think that I had enough life experience to pull this off when I was young, but now I’ve got plenty of resource material to keep me busy for this next phase of my life.
So, if any of my old friends stumble upon this post, just know that you’re forgiven if you think that you need it. I’m down but doing fine and am sorry if you still feel hurt. These are just the joys of living a life with an unstable mind. This kind of plays into today’s assignment that points out that even though you forgive someone doesn’t mean that you then have to attempt to recapture or maintain any connection that may have come apart.
This outlook is interesting to me, but you’ll have to wait for tomorrow’s post to see how I explore this concept. Until then, it’s now time for me to wrap this one up as usual by saying, good day and good luck to you and all of your projects.
Talk to you soon.
Sincerely,
The Wicker Breaker
P.S. Below are links to my novel, which I plan to promote as part of Operation Achieve Anything, as well as a link to where you can buy the book that is providing the structure to this project in case you would like to purchase it in order to play along.
